I didn't want to admit it to myself, nor do I think would Gilbert believe it for a long time but slowly he came to accept it. But for me, I felt it was God once again being a complete and utter asshole. It wasn't fair and while I knew life had never been exactly fair I still wished that he for once wouldn't take someone away from me. Abel had become a kind of big brother to me so to watch him slowly waste away was so painful. While it hurt I tried not to show it much but Abel could tell.

"Alfred?" He started as the blue eyed Alpha watched me clean one morning. "Can you come sit with me, please?"

I looked over my shoulder as I put the last of the dishes away, "For a few minutes." I said as I mentally made a list of the errands I'd still have to do that day most of which would have taken me out of the apartment for more than a few hours. After closing the cupboard door I walked over and managed to sit on the edge of the couch since by that time I was nearly nine months along.

As I shifted to get comfortable he rested his hand on my stomach, "Why don't you get a chair to sit in?"

"I can only stay for a few minutes but when I come back I'll sit with you all night." I answered as I moved his hand slightly so he could feel my child kick.

In that moment I saw his face light up and in the first time in days he sat up in pure awe, "He's as strong as you kid." He said with a wide grin.

It was a strange nickname he decided to call me in the last few months but I didn't mind. "Yeah he is." I chuckled patting my belly softly, "He just loves moving and I'm sure he'll look a lot like his father."

"No he'll look just like you." He said with a lazy smile as he finally moved his hand away, "He'll be a good little pup I'm sure of it." He rested his head on my shoulder and while I had a lot to do I knew they could wait for a little while.

While most would have shook their heads at me for kissing his temple or cuddling up to him my instincts were tell me to hug him and never let go. At the time I thought it was my motherly hormones mixed with that fact that it was just about to rain but looking back it was for other reasons. "Do you want a beer?"

He chuckled weakly as he shook his head, "Not this time but maybe later, but have you wondered what Heaven is?"

It was a strange question but compared to our normal conversations this didn't strike me as out of the ordinary. "Well it's a place where you go when you die…"

"No Kid I think that's called Hell." I wasn't sure if he was joking or not as he asked again, "I mean what would your Heaven look like?"

"Oh." I had never thought of it before and truly was still confused about what he was asking so I leaned back as the rain outside started to fall, "Well what would yours look like?"

Abel could see through my question but he looked up at the ceiling as he spoke, "My heaven would be the summer around ten years ago, no longer than that…fifteen years ago. Around twilight when the fireflies would start coming out." He inhaled slowly as tears formed at the edges of his eyes, "I would catch those little fuckers all night until Dad yelled for me to come back inside than I would put them in a jar for my little brother Tino." He was in a different time and place. It was as if a movie was playing in his head of every good memory he ever had. "He would just stare at them before racing to show the others. Oh and then Emil who was like only five would look over clutching his little stuffed bird and ask…" His voice caught in his throat as a tear streamed down his face.

Only then did I take his hand, "Ask what?" I said softly knowing that whatever happened to him and his family cut him to the core.

"He asked me to get him a jar too." He squeezed my hand, "He wanted his big brother to catch them for him." He swallowed hard, "And I would because I loved him and I knew than that he did too, they all did." His grip tightened slightly, "Where did all that go?"

I didn't know what to say to him so I said the only thing that I could think of, "I know they still love you, wherever they are."

He shook his head still looking above us, "They all hate me Alfred. Tino and Berwald I understand…" He clamped his eyes shut as if his memories suddenly turned on him, "And I told them I hated them back but I never meant it. They were my little brothers, they still are no matter what they say and I hope they'll be in my heaven…" His eyes gradually opened as the pillow below him started to show his tear stains. "Even if I don't deserve to see it I hope they make it to those lazy nights again."

Now I had to hold back the tears, "You're a good Alpha Abel." He didn't answer me for a long time so with one hand on my stomach I started to speak, "My Heaven would be a large house with a wraparound porch so on lazy summer days you could come visit me." Softly a smile grew on his face, "I'd have a huge yard for long football games on one end and a massive garden on the other so my Mom won't ever have to worry about us trampling her flowers." I laughed slightly before I saw the light slowly fading from his eyes, "Abel?"

"It sounds nice Alfred…"

"Y-Yeah." I managed to say as a lump grew in my throat. "And on nice days I'll come see you in your Heaven and I'd love for you to catch me a few fireflies while I was there."

"I'd love to Alfred…" He inhaled slowly, "Can I have that beer now?"

I smiled as I held him close, "You had it don't you remember?"

"Yeah…it was good." He muttered looking up into my eyes, "Thank you Alfred…" And with that he closed his eyes one last time.

My baby kicked as I slowly stood up, "You're welcome Abel." I leaned down and kissed his forehead before going for our neighbor's phone as Gabi let out a single howl. "Watch over him Mother…because he's a little loud but his heart is in the right place."