CPOV

Its christmas day and we are waiting for the Steele's to come over so we can exchange gifts and soon after we will all sit down to christmas dinner. I'm still going to tell Ana how I feel about her I just hope she feels the same about me, I want to be with her but I'm a little worried that this might not work out and then I will have lost the most important person in my life. But I'm not going to let that stop me if I don't tell her today I'll have to see her with other guys and I know it would be like a knife twisting in my heart.

I love all the gifts I have gotten this year but I have to say my new phone beats all my other gifts. I can't wait to give Ana her gift and to see her reaction especially with the photos I have put inisde of the locket. On one side is a phone of her with her family one of the earlier ones from when she first came to live with the Steele's and on the other side is a photo of me, Ana, Kate, Elliot and Mia. It was from our last holiday we all took together and its one of the rare photo's of all of us smiling.

We had gone to Rome and we all had a brilliant time. Ana is stood in front of me, Kate is standing in front of Elliot and Mia is stood in-between the two girls. Thinking back to that holiday I think its my favourite one Ana and I had both woken up after nightmares, I found Ana sat on the sofa in from of the fire place in the large villa that we were staying at. That night Ana and I talked for a while and some time during the night we both fell back asleep and got woken up by our parents. We both didn't have an other nightmare that night which shocked us both.

I hear the doorbell and then the housekeeper opening the door a minute later the Steele's walk in carrying gifts. I'm going to give Ana her gift last. After everyone has given their gifts to one another we open our gifts I keep Ana's till last. I'm glad I did as the gift she got me has topped every gift I've ever been given it shows she truly knows me as she has managed to get me 10 private sessions with the Olympic kick boxing gold medallist. My mouth opens and closes a few times I'm not sure what to say so I turn to her and hug her close to me.

I pull back "thank you so much Ana this is the best gift ever" she blushes and bites her bottom lip "I thought you'd like it" she says just above a whisper. I pick up the wrapped box that holds her locked and hand it to her "this is from me" I simply say.

I can tell she wasn't expecting anything but I couldn't just not get her anything I watch as she opens the box and her hand flies to her mouth as she gasps, her eyes tear up and she slowly takes the locket out of the box and opens it up to look at the photos inside. When she does the tears spill out of her eyes and slide down her cheeks, she hugs me tightly and whispers thank you to me. She hands me the locket after pulling back and moving her hair she turns so I can put it on her, I slowly clasp it together but quickly pull my hands away knowing our parents and siblings are properly watching us.

I notice her blush as everyone asks us what we got for each other and they all seemed impressed with the gifts. Its not long before we all went to the dinning room apart from my mom and Carla as they went to put the finishing touches to dinner then bring it to the table. As always Ana and I are sat next to each other, everyone around the table starts talking about what they had gotten and how the love this time of year. Once our mothers have brought all the plates through we all say grace and then start to eat, our mothers go all out for christmas dinner. the talk around the table is happy and cheerful I'm still astounded that this is my family and I don't know where I'd be without them. I love them all and I couldn't bare to thing of anything happening to anyone that is sat around the table. Even Kate she can be annoying but I do care for her like I care for Mia.

Once dinner is finished and we have brought all the plates and dishes into the kitchen everyone starts to head to the family room, but I grasp Ana's arm and ask her to follow me. I'm shocked she doesn't even question me she just follows me upstairs to my bedroom. I shut the door and turn to face Ana and notice she is sat on my bed looking at me, she looks a little nervous. I know for a face I'm so nervous right now but I have to do this. I take a deep breath grabbing the chair next to my desk I place it in front of her and sit down so I can look at her.

"Ana there's a reason I wanted to talk to you in private and I need you to just listen to me and not interrupt me until I'm finished ok?" I notice Ana bitting her bottom lip as she nods her head "ok I won't interrupt you" she says looking straight at me. Taking one last deep breath I look deep into her bright blue eyes and get lost and let it all come out "Ana I love you I know your my best friend and I shouldn't be feeling like this I just can't help it I realised that I'm in love with you the day at the Lincolns I couldn't let you go through that as you didn't deserve it and it would have killed me to know that he was touching you. That her was kissing you when I don't want you to be with anyone other than me. I know I sound selfish but I don't want you to be with anyone other than me I'm not sure if you feel the same about me but I couldn't keep it to myself any morei had to tell you so that even if you don't feel the same way I wouldn't have to sit there watching you thinking and wondering if you loved me too."

I take a breath and look down at my hands "I know I'm not perfect but I want to be the man you deserve, I want to be perfect for you, I love you so much Ana it hurts to think of you being with anyone else I want to be the one you come to first when your angry, hurt, happy and I want to be there every step of the way throughout your life being the man you deserve, I am so proud of how far you have come and I know you will make it even further I just needed you to know that I love you so much and I want to be with you for everything I want a life with you, to grow old and grey with you, maybe even have children with you." I get up and kneel in front of her and take hold of her hands squeezing them slightly. "There you have it Ana I'm in love you with you"

I look up into her eyes and I see they fill slightly with tears and I'm not sur eif that's a good thing or a bad thing I just know that right at this moment Ana literally has my heary in her hands right now and she could either embrace it and look after it for eternity or she could crush it into a million pieces right now. I watch as she takes a few deeps breaths then looking right into my eyes she opens her mouth to speak and at this is where I'm stood in the edge of the cliff waiting to see if Ana will pull me up and save me or let me go to fall.