Tris P.O.V

"Everyone but Lynn and rocker chick girl start laughing their heads off, "oh you dont know how close you are," I say smiling, I still may be high on medicine i mean you never know.

The nurse walks in t he room and takes one look around the room and then says "I'm sorry but only one visitor per room, so you all will have to get out . So everyone argues but in the end they end up leaving. When everyone but lynn walks out the room, I take a deep breath and look at Lynn. Looking at her from the outside she kind of scares me. She has a buzz cut and is completely covered in leather and chains. But when you get to know her , you learn that she is really a loving and caring person.

Lynn turns toward, and for the first time looks me over. I probably look a hot mess. I have bed hair and more than likely look worse than I did when I was being held hostage. My thoughts immediatley go south when I think of Andrew. Lynn comes and takes Fours place putting her arm around me. My mask of happiness slowly shatters into a million peices. I lean into her and cry, letting everything that I have been holding in since I was 12.

''Tell me whats wrong'' she whispers in my ear, and I tell her what hurts everyday.

"I have always been the caretaker my entire life I had to grow up way to fast for my liking. I remember the day Emily was born, how happy mom was, how happy I was to finaly have a little sister. My mother only held her once , and you could see how much she loved her. After she gave birth to Em she looked me in the eye and said '' Take care of her Tris, don't let anything happen to her, treat her the way I would treat you.'' I was so confused on why she would say that, the way she said it sounded like she was about to die or leave or something i couldn't get thorough my mind. But i promised I would take care of her and make sure she was always happy. And my mom said she loved all of us, and we were all confused, we knew she loved us, but didn't know why she expressed it the way she did. And 5 freaking minutes later she died.'' I pause catching my breath, willing my self to go on, i have to get this off my chest if I don't i am not sure I will be able to make it farther than i already have.

''It's okay, let it all out,'' Lynn whispers, and that is all I need to go on.

''Her heart failed her, she wasn't strong enough to carry a baby and give birth without dying. She knew this, the doctors knew this, but her family didn't know. It killed Caleb, he didn't know what to do, he just sat down and stared at a wall, not showing any emotion. My dad, he went crazy, he yelled at the doctors screaming profanity at them, and punched holes in the walls. And I had took Emily in my arms and comforted her, like my mom would have done for me. I promised her and I was going to keep that promise. I just didn't know it would be so damn hard.''

''Oh, and don't forget about the freaking funeral,'' I laugh darkly, ''My dad showed up drunk and Caleb cried into my shoulder the entire time, and Emily was quiet the entire time.''

''But the hard part didn't come until Andrew tried to give Emily up for adaption, he said she was the reason for moms death, but I wouldn't let him. So... he beat me. He took a spiked, leather and beat me, making Emily watch the entire time. He started to do it daily and Caleb helped him. They wanted so badly to knock me unconcious long enough to take Em away. But i stayed concious the entire time, and i would Emily in her eyes and comfort her, saying 'it's okay, I got you, don't worry, I am right here',' this would go on until Andrew got tired and I could hardly move a muscle.'' I cried into Lynn's shoulder remembering the pain I endured and feeing the scars I have all along my body tingle.

''Is that what hurts the most, I that why you left London?" she asks and I can hear the pain in her voice and how hard it is for her to hear this. But that is not the worse, it is only something that I can manage to tell.

I look her in the eyes and wipe the tears from my eyes but its no use they just keep coming. I shake my head 'NO', '' No thats not the worse part, its the best compared to what I'm about to tell you.'' I take a shaky breath, I have never told anyone this , not even Caleb knows and I am so scared that lynn will judge me if i tell her but I must get this off my chest, ''He...he raped me" I sob into her shoulder, and I hear the sharp intake of her breath.'' The first time was when I was 14, and he made me do it, whenever he felt like it.''

"I was asleep in bed and he barged into my room, scaring me awake. He had the spiked leather belt that was stained with my blood. He walked over to my bed and he looked at me like I was an Item. I thought he was just going to beat me, but I was wrong he did so much more. I don't remember everything, just bits and peices, but that was enough. I remember him beating me everywhere, until every single time i moved or uttered a sound It hurt so bad. When I thought he was done, I tried to relax but I couldn't something told me that it wasn't over yet. 3 minutes later he came back in my room, but this time he didn't have the belt, just his hand. I couldn't move at all so I was completely vulnurible. He ripped off my night gown and then he did the worse thing he could have ever done to me. I remember screaming to the top of my lungs all night. But every time I did he hit me. When he was done he looked at me and smiled a predators smile and said 'an ugly, slutty, bitch'. Then walked out my room slamming the door. Leaving me unable to move and bleeding everywhere. I cried and cried until my tears ran out." I paused and looked back into Lynn's eyes and saw her eyes filling with tears, "I felt so useless and unwanted. I called out for help, I even screamed for Caleb, but nobody came. Thats when I realised I was alone in this big, mean, uncaring, crazy world."

AUTHORS NOTE: Okay so I am just going to start updating once a week but this week I'll try to update everyday because of springbreak, sooo bye. Oh and I hoped you liked it, reveiw for another chapter.

~liyah