9: "Strange highways"

As it turned out, even interns with records as pristine as Rei's were known to have fits of sporadic disappearances; there weren't nearly as many expectations placed on their shoulders as she had been led to believe. Rei fancied herself a somewhat accomplished and even influential person in Shibuya's political circles, the kind of young go-getter with lots of potential and the brains, willpower, and resources to back it up. Ultimately, though, she was little more than decoration, a nuisance sent by a prestigious university to perform all the various duties "real" politicians simply didn't have time for. And if those papers weren't filed or organized one day, or these forms missed being filled out, or this meeting was delayed an hour or so— well, someone else would pick up the slack.

"So I'm really not in any trouble?" One of the men she was studying under and working for— a short, balding, fat, somewhat bucktoothed caricature of a man, who spent far more time staring at Rei's legs than her credentials— dismissed her with a wave, getting back to whatever matter of vital importance he had been crouching over before she arrived.

"An announcement would have been appreciated. And I wouldn't say no trouble so casually. But there are emergencies and we give everyone some leeway in that regard. Just work harder to make up for it."

"Yes sir."

"Just out of curiosity, why did you suddenly decide to play hooky?"

As if she could tell him— not that he'd believe her anyway. But truth can be subjective.

"My best friend needed my help. I couldn't refuse."

But of course he snorted at such a romantic concept. "Aren't you a little old to still have 'best friends'?"

"We go back a long way. We've been through a lot."

"Hmm, how sweet. And I'll bet you were each other's bride's maids."

"Neither one of us married, sir." He laughed impolitely.

"You're not a person, Hino, you're a cliché! The stereotypical unmarried OL… Life's not a shoujo manga, Hino."

Like my love life's any of your business, she grunted, rolling her eyes. He gave her an assignment before her temper could flare any further, and since she now had something of a black mark on her name, she set herself to it. The delegates from this company had arranged a discussion with the representatives of this person, in regards to contractual rights and waivers that had to be standardized; and there was also a non-committal clause regarding employees of the company and statutes and…something about licensing, Rei could never really figure this out. She had become fully aware of how stagnant, slow, and inefficient bureaucracy can be at a very early age, all thanks to dear absent daddy, and after careful study and hard work over a course of several years (law here, economics there, social sciences and debate for awhile, smattered with marketing and general history), she realized that even if she were to become a full-fledged Senator— and a part of her honestly did, despite paternal damages— Rei really wouldn't be able to change a thing. It would be like trying to pull a donkey out of a tar pit, without any chain or rope, with greasy hands, and all the while the poor deluded animal did nothing to help itself.

A few of the suits thanked Rei for her "assistance", but as far as she felt, she could have been any number of generic capitol interns, a uniform face to be greeted, acknowledged, treated like a child… Mannequins could have sufficed just as well for those people. She decided to act radically, as only Rei could, and visited another one of her instructors. Not everyone she worked with made her skin crawl; one man in particular made her feel quite at ease. He was white with age and could barely see anymore, but he always had a smile and some sage advice for Rei. He had been one of the people who fought for the demolition of the wastes and a construction of a public park in its place, and Rei felt it was time to resurrect this proposal.

"Shibuya PD is behind it full force," she explained, showing him the required security signatures (thanks in some small part to Usagi). "I also have permission from the current property owner. I've been told the construction company's going to send their reply any moment now; it may even be in my inbox. What else do we have to do to get this thing up and running?"

"Majority vote, for one," he replied, warmly but tinged with sadness. "Providing, of course, someone can draw attention away from what's been happening."

"Do you mean the earthquake relief?— or the outbreak of creatures?" Rein wanted to give the horrors that had beset Shibuya a more specific name— youma, devil, oni, demon, changeling— but announcing special knowledge of this unexplained phenomenon, even to someone she trusted, was like painting an enormous bulls-eye on her body. Her instructor winked grimly.

"Optimistically, you can't blame them for focusing their energies on important matters. Parks are fine, but when disasters strike…" He trailed off, rubbing his hair, slowly descending to his desk to study the delayed proposal. It needed the approval of a lot of influential people in the city council before it got the green light, and all those signatures were decorating different papers. Rei understood that taking care of these large issues was important, but the city shouldn't forget about its more mundane concerns.

"Basically, no chance at all."

"You could wait outside their offices for ten lifetimes, but they'd never even see you. Why are you so interested in this project, anyway?"

"Tokyo needs its parks," she said lamely. Then, in a softer voice, "When I was growing up, I lived in a fairly rural part of the city. Hikawa Shrine, actually. It's the city's property now; I was forced to sell it so I could help pay for college. I heard that there was a preservation act in the works for the shrine, but it got overruled, and the whole place was demolished. All so the city council could add more square meters to their city— just another high-rise and dingy food court. Part of the reason I fought to get in here was so I could try and prevent things like that from happening. I have no ulterior motive for wanting that park built; I just don't want this entire city to turn to steel. It feels like sometimes, all of Japan's losing its soul."

"Ah, to be young and stupefied with idealism."

"Something wrong with that?" she snorted. He smiled and waved to her, but didn't offer any opinion either way. Rei sighed and realized she would be doing this on her own. She got as far as the sanitation commissioner's office, and only because she was "young and pretty", and still "new to how things went around here". She had to learn better sometime, right? The commissioner promised to back the proposal all the way, but only if she got permission, grants, and signatures from other company heads. Rei recognized a wild goose chase when she saw one, and decided to quit for the time being.

The only thing that really kept her going was when she spotted a familiar name in the pile of relief fund checks. Minako Aino's frilly penmanship stood out like her cosmic namesake, written in both Japanese kanji and Roman letters (including the planetary symbol for Venus on the first "O" of her name, and a heart for the second). Hers was certainly not the biggest donation, but knowing that more than one Senshi was supporting her made all the difference. Rei decided to wait, and bent herself to doing whatever was necessary in order to clean up the damage caused by the quake and the creatures. Whether that meant bowing and scraping as a senator's intern, or flinging flames as Sailor Mars, made no difference.

…

Dr. Ami Mizuno usually met Usagi for lunch, but her meetings with Rei were much more infrequent. Naturally, she was a bit taken back when Rei proposed they get together one afternoon— surprised, but delighted— and promised just as soon as she told Usagi. Rei was glad she could still keep in touch with at least two of her fellow former Senshi, even if the gatherings were sporadic and sparse. She had as much history with Ami as Usagi did, although their paths (as far as she knew) diverted drastically. Ami was once Usagi's roommate, but she meant something else to Rei.

"You look tired," Ami said, diagnosing as both doctor and friend. Their foreheads touched intimately, and Rei allowed her guard to drop.

"No, just fatigued, exhausted, exasperated, frustrated… You're not looking very sprightly yourself. Long hours?"

She nodded. "First the earthquake, then this…outbreak…or whatever it is."

"Usagi thinks they're similar to the creatures we fought back in the day. Generally, I mean— they don't come from the Dead Moon Kingdom, or the Death Busters, or anything like that. They're a new breed of…some nightmarish monster."

"Is that what city council's calling them?"

"I honestly don't know what their opinion is. I doubt even they know what kind of spin to use. Perhaps they're shooting for the whole 'biological warfare' angle as well. Does Dr. Mizuno have an opinion?" She smiled, happy to gently tease Ami about her new station in life. They eventually found their way to a table and ordered something light. Rei actually took a moment to laugh as the waitress, a cute young girl with teal hair and braids, scampered off, calling out to other customers and greeting them with smiles.

"What is it?" Ami said. "Don't tell me you're getting nostalgic, too."

"I used to be in her shoes not so long ago. I mean, literally: I worked here a few months to help save up for college."

"You sound just like Usagi."

"And you don't? Come on, doctor, even you must reminisce."

"I'm too busy living in the present," she murmured humbly. "Whenever I do think about the past, it feels like I'm spirited away somewhere, and I always feel like I won't be able to get back. So I focus on what I'm doing instead of what I did."

"Is it ever like that with Minako?" If Usagi had asked her that same question, Ami would've deflected it impatiently, but since Rei was asking…

"That's when I have to try the hardest. I can't have regrets about it, you know."

"I know. But back to what I was asking. What do you think about these new monsters?"

Unfortunately, Ami just mutely shook her head. "What does Usagi have to say? Or…should I say…Sailor Moon?" Rei winced, not that she had any reason to think Ami would be in the dark about that. After all, she had always been the smartest of the five.

"So you saw the news. And?"

"I'd rather not get into it," she whispered. Rei reached out and touched her hand.

"Not even with me?"

Ami coldly withdrew. She didn't need to say or do anything else.

"I see. I talked to her about it."

"And?" Rei looked away. She hated being evasive around Ami, and she knew she should take pride in her actions, because she believed in them so passionately…

But there was a small part of her still questioning that lapse in judgment.

"And I joined her. As Sailor Mars."

Well, the cat was out of the bag now. Ami stared at her for a long time, not saying a word. And even though she commonly stared into the inferno, Rei simply couldn't match her gaze.

"This thing's starting to get bigger, Ami," she said, as if pitching for a sale. "Usagi thinks the monsters are linked to the earthquake, and I believe her. We met one of their leaders recently; we even fought one of his minions together. I know it's eerie how history can repeat itself sometimes, but this is all following a very familiar pattern. Soon we might be tangling with forces beyond our comprehension— "

"Just stop, that's enough. Excuse me." Ami picked up her food the moment it was laid down, found a to-go box, and left the restaurant. Stunned, Rein followed her, telling the waitress to bag her food up as well, throwing a generous tip on the table for her efforts. She caught Ami by the shoulder just as she was about to cross the street.

"Ami, hold on a second! Was it something I said? Why are you behaving— "

"Why are you doing this, Rei? Can you answer that?"

Ami seldom snapped or lost her patience, but when she did, it was worse than the gates of Hell opening. She came back to herself quickly and apologized for the outburst, but what was said couldn't be unsaid. Luckily, Rei had an answer, of sorts.

"I'm doing it because Usagi believes it needs to be done. I'd follow her anywhere, through any tribulation. And you would, too— or I thought so, at least."

"Rei, please, not now. Not now." Ami's emotional outbursts were becoming disquieting. She was shaking now, desperate, wide-eyed, terrified, and brutally weary. As a doctor, she had seen horrors most people couldn't even imagine; as a Senshi, she had seen the most extreme sides of the spectrum. It was a wonder she still had any sanity left, let alone she could smile, or carry about normally. And that's exactly what Ami was fighting to do. All of the Senshi deserved this peaceful, mundane existence— hadn't they fought for it, after all?— but perhaps Ami needed it most of all. Yes, she was brave and resilient, but she was human, too; she couldn't blissfully sweep it under the carpet like Usagi, or go into a trance in order to make sense of everything like Rei. However she was handling all this, Rei knew her persistence was undoing it, and so she was forced to let her go.

Just as she did all those years ago…

"I'm sorry," she said. Ami gave her a heartbreaking stare, helpless and yet hopeful at the same time, before she was lost amidst the uncaring populace. Rei soon found herself in a similar circumstance.

…

Rei was used to bringing her work home with her, and the burden never seemed to lighten or make any critical difference when she brought it back. Nevertheless, she was being paid to sign, file, and proofread these papers, so she set herself to it, hoping that somewhere in this massive pile, there was something that would lead to progress or better opportunities, at least some indication she wasn't running on a treadmill. Rei usually turned on some music for the more incomprehensible papers, and watched TV for the simpler ones, but she was so tired that she felt like doing it all from the comfort of her bath. She didn't, of course— her superiors frowned on wet documents— so she got up and hunted for her CD collection.

Rei was an anomaly in 21st century Tokyo. She came from a line of mikos on her mother's side, a relic from days when the word Emperor meant something, when Japan's spiritual strength was an honest expression of its soul rather than fringe groups paying amusing homage. She was one of those rare young women who actually liked visiting the old temples and landmarks— not out of romance but to connect with an earlier time, to bask in its awesome energy, and to humble herself by realizing she was a part of something that was far greater than her. On a more technological level, Rei still kept and even bought physical compact discs, but only if they had music that ought to be played around the entire house, not just confined to her personal space. Her iPod was fine when she was exercising or heading to work or home, but when she wanted to be surrounded by grandeur and beauty, a CD player was the only way to go.

Not surprisingly, her collection of J-pop was almost completely vanished. She kept some works from Maaya Sakamoto and Yoko Kanno, because she respected their art, but generally her tastes had grown out of childish bubblegum nonsense and into more sophisticated mediums. Usagi had introduced her to the blues; Minako loved all sorts of Latin music; Makoto was warming up to hard rock and even metal; Ami still liked opera and classical, but was also interested in reggae, of all things. Rei put in some Rachmaninov, since she was in the mood for piano, and went to work.

An hour or so later, the music ended, and since Rei was nowhere near finished, she took a short break, raiding her refrigerator and CD shelf. She was starting to get dizzy from all the jargon and wanted to exorcise her frustration into something more tangible, so after snacking on some fruit, she put her burned copy of Makoto's "rock and metal mix" into the tray and blasted the volume as loud as she could. Rei stripped down to her underwear and gathered all of her explosive rage into a single ball, dropping to the floor and performing push-ups until her limbs were searing. She jumped up, stretched, performed karate routines, kicking and twirling at imaginary enemies, giving them the faces of coworkers and superiors whom she felt made her life most miserable. She did jumping-jacks. She did sit-ups. She danced, flaying the air with her arms. She stopped. Off went the music. She caught her breath. Rei gathered a stack of the easiest papers to care for and drew a hot bath. The tub in her apartment was nowhere near as wonderful as the one back in her beloved shrine, and she lamented for it every time she used it. If she could've saved anything, it would've been that tub.

"Oh well," she murmured to herself. "This'll have to do until I can get a bigger house and install one I like." She took the CD out of the tray and replaced it with a collection of samisen tunes Usagi gave her for a birthday some time ago. People could say what they wanted about the dumpling's studying, eating, sleeping, and work habits, but she definitely had a good ear for music. Rei put the papers on a special tray she kept in the bathroom, typically used when she wanted to spoil herself with fine dining, a bit of sake or wine, and a bath all at once, and set it afloat. She kept her long black hair wrapped in a towel and soaked mindlessly for a few minutes before getting back to work.

This is it, she thought to herself. I've definitely made it now. All those years of studying, all that sacrifice, selling the shrine, attending those private girls' schools and colleges, giving up bits and pieces of what I loved, slowly drifting apart from the people I cared for…losing grandpa… They all led to this one moment, when I could reap the benefits of my suffering by soaking in a shoddy bath in a cheap apartment drinking third-rate sake while I sign and verify documents that honestly had no business being printed in the first place. I'm at the top of the world.

"This is what we wanted, all right," she said, thinking back to her encounter with Ami. "We got so tired of our lives as champions of goodness that we traded them in to the first offer that came our way. Well, congratulations, Rei. You accomplished what you set out to do." Ugh, curse that Usagi for drawing all these ideas out of her head. Curse her for making Rei question her path in life, for giving her regrets, for inciting her anger. But what did Rei have to be angry about? Or who, rather? Usagi, for planting the seed of doubt? Herself, for taking it this far?— or for not doing anything about it? Makoto, for settling down, finding happiness, starting a family, leaving the rest of them to an old maid's fate? Minako, for achieving what all of them had yearned for, but could never have, and excelling at it? Her grandfather, for leaving her to manage the shrine on her own? Her father, for not being what a father should? Her mother, for dying when she was still a child?

When Rei got out of the tub, dried off and dressed herself, she picked an English-language rock CD Minako had sent her from a tour of America. There was a song there called "Strange Highways", and it seemed appropriate for her situation. Rei honestly didn't know where her life was taking her; it was like she was strapped to a wild animal, forced to go along for the ride, not knowing whether she was getting anywhere or just going round in circles. She only understood a handful of the words (and curse that Mina for being so blissfully bilingual!), but she got the message; the artist's rage and confusion belted out with every beat.

It's a crazy world we live in, and I'm leaving it today for another institution where crazy people play. Every time I climb the mountain, and it turned into a hill; I promised me that I'd move on…and I will. I, I'm good for nothing, going nowhere, so they say (hey!). Someone give me blessings, for they say that I have sinned— that's when I crawl inside myself and ride into the wind, O Strange Highways! Oh, Strange Highways! Hey, you! I want your number! Don't even wonder, we do things our way! Questions, these are forbidden! We got no answers, believe us anyway! So here is my confession, it's the only broken rule: sometimes I crawl inside of me where I can be the fool, O Strange Highways! Oh, Strange Highways!

Rei was more or less finished with the signatures when the song ended. She decided to call it a day and turned the TV on— not so much to lose herself in fictional worlds or mindless, predictable sitcoms, but to keep tabs on daily events for Usagi's sake. She had nothing but admiration for her longtime friend: not only was she actually taking her job seriously and going out of her way to stay caught up with affairs, but she had broken the unspoken agreement the Senshi had made all those years ago, setting a precedent they all, surely, deep down, wanted to return to. When she saw the triumphant return of Sailor Moon, something had stirred inside of Rei that had not been active for ages, a longing and a need that could not be fulfilled any other way, and she acted upon it without hesitation. Even so, there was some part of Rei reluctant to commit herself to this decision— in that sense, she could understand Ami's apprehension— but nevertheless, because Usagi had thrown herself into this, Rei followed as the ever-supportive best friend, and watched the news in her dumpling-headed friend's stead.

And because she was so alert, it only took her a few seconds to grab her talisman and dash out the door. An enormous bull the size of a big rig was rampaging downtown.

Author's notes:

An OL is an Office Lady, someone who performs menial tasks in a work environment. While I hope I don't have to explain who Maya Sakamoto and Yoko Shimomura are, the song "Strange Highways" comes from the late great Ronny James Dio. I realize that lots of authors incorporate songs into their fan-fictions, so in order to avoid that cliché, I've chosen one which particularly mirrors Rei's situation (and I only used about half the lyrics)— and, I'd like to think, the situation that faces my generation as a whole. We are, after all, the same age as the Senshi, so why not face the same problems?

Also, Love In The Battlefield, if you cannot write anything more comprehensive than "Keep it coming", then please do not review at all. Saying it once is fine, but having that as your review for every single chapter is the epitome of laziness.