Hello, mah bros. I apologize for taking too long to update. I've been busy :/ Anywaaayyyy... Here's chapter 38. Enjoy!
"J- ju- just stop... P- please!" The uncontrollable sobs of the small Death Scythe cut into her words, making her barely understandable if anyone were there to listen. All she could hear were those voices... Those sweet, innocent voices with the slight distorted twist at the edges...
"Marie... Please, Marie, let us help you. All we want to do is help," the whispers pleaded with her.
"No, you d- don't! I don't know wh- what you w-want, but I know y-y-you don't want to h- help me." Her stutters through her sobs were more distorted than the voices.
"Why would we lie? We are obviously part of you, so why wouldn't we try to help you?"
"You're n- not part of me..." Marie clamped her hands over her ears, trying to block them out.
"We are though. We're in your head, Marie. All of us... We live inside you. We are you."
"N-no, shut up! I can get rid of you h-here and now!" Marie screamed as she pushed on her ears with more force, desperately trying to get away from them.
They all giggled... "You can't get rid of voices in your head, so stop trying. Just like everything else in your life, stop trying." The whispers' voices softened, as if they were all trying to soothe her.
"I c-can make it... I aw-always do. I am a Death S-s-Scythe!" She gasped, trying to force the words out of her.
"Not at heart. You think you're strong, but a strong woman would be able to get back up."
"My parents are d-d-dead!" Marie's entire body shook violently as her choked sobs broke through her voice. "How am I supposed to stand strong now? Give me a break..."
"A break is exactly what we are trying to give you, but you're fighting us. If you just let us help yo-"
"I already t-told you I know that it's n-not help! Just get out of here!"
"Marie, just listen... If you let us help you, you won't feel the way you feel now. You'll be happy. You won't be afraid or hurt anymore. You won't feel anymore pain. Isn't that what you want?"
"Not... Not like this... I can't j-just give up. This whole time, I've been tr-trying to tell Franken not to give up..." Marie paused, trying to focus on not stuttering so much. She took a few deep breaths in and out, clearing her head, but by very little before she continued, "How could I give up now?"
"Easily. Don't you get it? If you let us take over, you can be with him. You'll have him and you will be happy. Isn't that what you've always wanted?"
"Y- yes... But I don't see how going i-insane will allow me to be with Franken. They wouldn't put us together..."
"But you will get to him. Deep down in your heart, you know this is what you have to give up if you want Franken. You might see it as a price right now, but in the end, you'll know this is a favor."
"How is giving up my s-sanity a favor?"
"Haven't you been listening? You will be happy, Marie. Happy!"
"How? Franken w-wouldn't be happy if I went ins-s-sa-ne! How could I just let myself slip into something I might n-never wake up from and push myself on him? It isn't fair," behind the stutter, the blond's voice had gained a bit of irritation by this point. She didn't really care if she went insane; she already practically couldn't find a reason to even live except for Stein himself. But how could she just give up and abandon her only fight left?
Her skin rose in goosebumps as the chilling giggles of the whispers invaded her thoughts and mind more than they already had and traveled through her body. "I can't give up. I need to stay here for him."
"Do you, Marie? Do you really need to keep fighting for him?"
"Y-yes! Of course I do!"
"But why? Why do you need to stay here with him?"
"God damn!" Marie threw her head back, hitting the cold wall behind her. A sharp wave of pain engulfed her skull but she ignored it; these voices were really starting to get on her nerves. "Haven't you been listening?! I promised him I would bring him out of this!"
"Who gave you the responsibility to fight for his sanity?"
"N- no one... But that doesn't mean I couldn't take matters into my own hands!"
"Ah, and you did. You tried, but you failed. You're still trying, and sadly, still failing. Haven't you noticed he's not made any improvement? It's like he's not even trying at all."
"Because he c-can't! He-"
"No," they cut her off, their voices serious yet still sweet, like a mother who is far too soft scolding her child. "It's because he doesn't care to. He doesn't care! He never did. He told you he loves you, but we all know he isn't capable of love at all. He thinks he loves you, but he really is only confused with insanity."
What infuriated her the most was not the fact that they wouldn't shut up, not that they wouldn't leave her alone. It wasn't how smooth and sweet their voices were, lulling her to a bittersweet state of mind, even though most of her was angered and afraid. What really ground her gears was how she believed them. It was how the raw truth seemed to pour out of their voices.
What if... What if he didn't really care for her...? What if he didn't really know what he was saying? What if the words they were speaking, the words they were driving into her head, were nothing more than the cold, hard truth?
"Ahh... You see now, don't you? You get it?"
"No... You're wrong... H- he loves me..." A single tear rolled down Marie's cheek as she tried to push her thoughts away. This isn't true... It can't be true!
"Why are you even still trying, Marie...?" Now the voices sounded... Sad? Why would they be sad? "You've been trying this whole time, fighting for not only your life but someone else's, but for what? What is it that is driving you?"
"Hope. Hope for coming out on top... Just like always," tears of anger, stress and sadness rolled down her cheeks. She wiped furiously at them, not wanting to admit defeat.
"What are you talking about?" They all giggled. "You've not once come out on top at all! You've just been trying to claw your way to the surface. You've been telling yourself that this entire time, believing you could actually get somewhere. But in reality, the only place you got to was the spot behind you. Besides... Haven't you noticed how ever since you came here, your life has been so miserable? You've watched someone you care for slip through your fingers, your parents died and your body and mind are being eaten alive by depression and stress. Now, tell me, why would you, the person who has never even won in the first place, win this time?"
When the small blond was only silent, the whispers continued, "Ah, see? You have no answer to that. You may think you're a fighter, sweet Marie, but you know deep down inside you are terrified. You ball up in the corner and cry your eyes out, hoping for some sort of rescue but there is none. There is no one here to save you. There never has been, save your parents, but... Aren't they gone now? and there never will be. The man who you love is lost in madness, just like you are now. Why should you even fight anymore?"
Marie's eyes widened at the whispers' last statement, the one before they asked her yet another question she did not have an answer to. "Wh- what are you talking about? I'm not lost in madness. I'm still sane!"
"No... Although you still possess the ability to pull yourself out. But-"
"Then I'll do it! I'll get myself out of here and I'll-"
"You'll do what?" They almost seemed to be mocking her. "You'll run back to Stein and ask him for help even though he can't even help himself?" The Death Scythe lowered her head when the brutal realization of just how right they were sunk into her. How could she run from something when she had no where to run to?
"All you have to do now is accept it... Accept this as who you are, and it'll all be over..." The sweet, innocent voices were pleading with her as a starving man on the side of the road would plead with anyone who would take the time to listen to him. The way they called her name... The way their voices churned in her head like sweet butter... The way the immense amount of truth weighed down her shoulders and chest... Crushed her soul and spirits, leaving her immobile on the floor. It was all driving her... Insane.
All she could do was whimper out her choked words, praying that at some point, someone would hear her crying. Someone would help her somehow. But the thing was, she was always crying... She always needed someone to save her. Now she needed to fight her own battles because they were hers, not someone else's.
"T-there's still a chance that he's alright... There has to be." She knew it was probably useless to fight back, to continue arguing and countering every single thing the voices said to her, but she had to at least try, damn it.
"Why? Because you've been fighting for it? Because you believed in it? We're sorry to break it to you... But you were fighting for nothing. You've been on the battlefield fighting an enemy that you simply can't beat. How can you end something that isn't even physical? We are a part of you. You're just going to have to accept it and move on."
"Move on to what?" Marie whimpered. "What will I have to move on to?"
"Peace... You'll have peace. Yes, the people around you will be upset, but they will move on. If they love you like you think they do, they will not let themselves fall because you gave in to the inevitable."
"How could they not be u-upset when they all see me ranting and raving about Death knows what?"
"If they really do care, they will understand. They will feel relieved to see you're not upset anymore. If they really want to see you carefree and without a stress in the world, they will look at you and be alright with you being insane. Besides... Isn't that what you want? For your friends to stop worrying about you so much? For them to go on with their lives and worry about their own problems? Don't you want to stop being such a huge nuseance in their lives?"
The short blond had never thought she felt the heavy weight of truth weigh down her entire body as much as it just did. This entire time, this whole time, she was arguing with madness, something no one she knew, not even the strongest meister to ever graduate from Shibusen, could defeat.
Now all she could even do was think, her body shaking agressively. If even Franken Stein can't overcome this, what makes me think I can? Have I really been wasting my time this long? I haven't even been able to help Franken at all, even though I'd like to think I have been... I'm just...
"Useless..." She whimpered.
"And lost..."
"And..."
"Broken. You're wasted, worn out and broken. Every one has their time, Marie... Now is yours. Now is your time to let yourself rest and feel the amazing feeling of relief."
Marie tilted her head back, tucking a lock of golden hair behind her ear. She stared at the ceiling and took several shaky breaths, trying to even her respiration.
"You're right..." She forced a ghost of a smile and closed her eye, allowing a few hot tears to roll down her now pale and cold cheek. She took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Franken... You'll be alright."
The whispers died down completely, finally giving the Death Scythe what she had wanted so dearly only a few long moments earlier: silence.
Marie smiled innocently and sang herself one last song.
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late.
Even if I say it'll be alright,
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cus it's not too late
It's never too late...
The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost we can't get back
The life we had won't be ours again...
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong...
A long silence filled the space where Marie's melodic singing should be. She sat there on the cold floor and opened her mind and soul smoothly, not allowing herself to entertain her decision any further. She knew what she was doing. Yes, it hurt like hell to simply give up, but she had tried her best, damn it...
Now all she wanted was sweet relief.
The Death Scythe took in a deep breath through her nose and she felt a honey-like warmth slowly spread through her mind, coating her thoughts completely. Marie felt as if everything was a blur, as if she were underwater. Maybe... This wouldn't be so bad...
Soon after the world blurred, her sense of sound and smell dwindled down. All she could think of at this point was how funny the narrow hallway she was in seemed to be.
A high pitched, fast paced giggle escaped Marie's lips.
Alright, guys, I really hope you all liked this chapter. Don't forget to review *puts hand over heart* It warms mah heart!
By the way, the song Marie sang is Never Too Late by Three Days Grace. If you haven't heard it before, I highly suggest you do so :3