You can Pick your Friends, your Nose but not your Family
Chapter 1: Dinner Time
Irish: It's been a while, I wanted to get back into it but college, life and motivation has been slowing me down and I have another fic that I should work on but I'm on a mission!
Irish: This was a request by Bighead98
Irish: I don't own Kingdom Hearts because if I did it wouldn't be nearly as good.
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Xemnas had strange ideas at times,
When he wasn't trying to complete the Kingdom Hearts he oddly enough had time for other hobbies, is that so weird?
Nobodies can have hobbies,
Luxord likes to gamble, Zexion likes to read (and Spanish soap operas), Saix and Marluxia really like Zanarkand Abes blitzball team, Vexen does whatever he does in his creepy lab and the trio go sit on that clock tower and slowly get type two diabetes from all the damn ice cream they eat.
What did Xemnas like to do when he wasn't trying to send the world into darkness?
He liked to cook.
Yeah, he liked to make human food, nobodies do not need food for survival but they like to eat (makes them feel human). How you might ask? Well Xemnas does go on missions sometimes (very rarely) and on one occasion he saw something in the window of a house.
It was a woman running around making food in her kitchen, he knew that humans need to eat but he never knew how they made their food. It was interesting to watch her create something new from things you could not eat alone, creating a flower from pieces of dirt. He stood there in the shadows just watching her make a meal and when she was done he was going to leave but them
Ding Bing
The woman rang a bell and the thunderous sound of footsteps came from upstairs. Droves of children came down from upstairs. They were all different ages and genders but they had some similarities so he assumed they were children were siblings. Food went on the table and they attacked it like a bunch of starving animals but the thing that stuck with him was how happy the family looked, it was just food on a table how did it make them so happy?
What was the secret?
He had to find out.
Over the course of several weeks he began to practice cooking, he bought a cook book, bought all of the ingredients then realized that they didn't have a kitchen so had to make one. He made all of the dishes most of them came out burnt but after several attempts he had recreated the meal the mother had made.
Now for the test.
He had offered the members to "come to dinner" but they refused (why would they? They don't need to eat.) So he decided to order them all down to a large table he acquired under the guise of a meeting. All thirteen of them came down and sat at the table, confused at what they saw.
It was a dinner table with forks, knives and food that look eatable. There was a turkey, green beans, mashed potatoes and fruit pie of some kind. But they were confused as to why the hell Xemnas did all this? Was it some kind of test or was he just going mad?
Not wanting to get in trouble they all sat down and stared at their plates wide eyed and shocked.
"Eat"
He commanded but no one did, they just stared at the food like it was some mutated creature like a unicorn with octopus tentacles. It went on for several minutes before Xemnas began to feel a pain, it couldn't be emotion because nobodies couldn't feel but it was a pain in the heart, maybe a memory of an emotion perhaps? This would confuse him if the pain didn't bother him so much so he repeated himself (he hated to do that).
"Eat"
Everyone made a strange noises, either touching their face awkwardly or making strange grunting noises, they were hiding something from him"
"What is it?"
Roxas was the one to speak first.
"Well um It's just that well I-"
He stopped mid way as Xion tapped his shoulder lightly telling him to be quiet. She whispered something to him that Xemnas couldn't make out he only heard feeling and you'll. He looked for Saix for an answer but apparently found the wall the be extremely fascinating at that moment. Demyx opened his mouth to say something but one look from Larxene quickly shut him up. Xemnas was going to demand that they tell him what they were trying to say.
Bang!
Axel slammed his fist on the table in frustration.
"Your cooking sucks, man"
Demyx sighed in relief whispering a soft thank you.
Everyone looked at him like just started to make out with a heartless.
Both Xion and Roxas yelled, "Axel!" They had agreed that they wouldn't say anything.
"What? Everyone else was thinking it!"
"We agreed that we wouldn't say anything"
Zexion said softly trying not to be caught reading under the table.
Little did Xemnas know that while he was practicing cooking all of the organization came at random times in the kitchen to taste his food which lead them to an impromptu meeting coming to agreeing that they would never tell Xemnas about how much his cooking suck ass, ever.
"Yeah but that was before I knew we had to eat it!"
Xemnas thought they were being ridiculous he tasted his food and it tasted fine, they were just being over dramatic.
"It tastes fine"
He said shutting everyone up for a few moments.
"You haven't eaten food before"
Said Lexaeus speaking for the third time this month.
It made sense; everyone else had eaten food at one time or another so they knew what was good and what was not. Xemnas had never eaten food so food no matter how terrible tasted fine to hum because he had nothing else to compare it to!
"Maybe we could order take-out?"
Xion suggested and apparently everyone else thought it was the greatest idea about anything and everything ever.
So they got take-out it wasn't the best food ever but it was gourmet compared to the crap they were just about to eat. They all sat on the couch Axel and Demyx found on the side of the road and watched a blitzball game. Xemnas noticed that the other members conversing with one another had similar expressions that the children had at the dinner table, the pain in his chest went away and was replaced with something warm. Before he could think about it a box of take-out was shoved into his hands demanding that he eat it, this gave Xemnas the idea about what decent food tasted like so maybe
Just maybe
He would make a decent meal
With practice
And time
So like in a couple years
Maybe
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Irish: SO? How was it?
Axel: Crap
Irish: I'm not asking you! So the next chapter might be a while because school loves to make sure I have no free time. RATE AND REVIEW!