Reaver's Servants

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

The doors to Lakeview Manor swung open. Never being so relieved to be home, Reaver and his servants drudged their way through the front doors. Reaver, on a crutch with a broken leg, hobbled his way inside, with the help of Gordon and Rosie. Throwing their bags onto the foyer floor, each bag sounded heavier than when they left. Reaver didn't have to say anything as the servants helped him go up the stairs, to his room. When his bedroom doors closed, the servants fell to the floor, exhausted.

"Well, that could have gone better." said Rosie, a bandage over her right eye.

"I wish it had." whimpered Willa, with what looked like hermit crap pinches all over her.

"I wish fall would go ahead and get here. All these summer activities that Mr. Reaver just had to do are starting to get exhausting…and damaging to our health." said Gordon, his arm in a sling.

Beryl, sunburnt to the point of looking like a cooked lobster, found it too agonizing to say anything. "Next time Mr. Reaver asks us if we want to go with him on a summer retreat, I think we need to realize it's a set-up." She finally groaned.

Everyone nodded in agreement. At that time, Barry and Miss Sarah walked in. Miss Sarah, with a bruised cheek and the ends of her hair partially burnt, helped Barry inside. Barry, with a bandage around his forehead and holding an ice pack to it, didn't seem to know where he was. "That man in the funny hat said we work here?" he asked.

Miss Sarah nodded. "Yes, Mr. Hatch, we work here. It's time to refill your ice pack." She sighed, taking the ice pack from Barry. Everyone sighed and stared at each other. Even little Reavie, looking disheveled and miserable in her carrier, couldn't force herself into a good mood.

"What a disaster." sighed Rosie. Everyone nodded in agreement. "…and we left the house with such high hopes…"

A Week or So Before

The boat ride was a long one. The servants didn't know why Reaver suddenly decided he needed to get away from Lakeview Manor, but they were thankful that he sat up front with Barry. It wasn't that they didn't appreciate going on vacations with their boss. They just didn't appreciate being woken up at such an early hour (well before sunrise), told they have less than an hour to pack a suitcase, and then being told they are going with Reaver to a very exclusive resort on the coast of Aurora. After having to hog-tie Miss Sarah to get her on and off said boat, they arrived in Aurora.

Reaver didn't explain much about where they were going. He said it was in Aurora, a desert land, and very few details other than that. Reaver and Barry smiled wide as the boat finally docked. A big, beautiful city emerged from the sands. Reaver himself was in awe. The servants (after untying Miss Sarah, of course), stood in awe as they disembarked and made their way to the waiting carriage. They expected a place like Bloodstone, but were greeted with a tropical paradise. "I heard it was beautiful but…I never imagined…" whispered Beryl, as she and the other servants looked upon the colorful buildings

The buildings were beautiful and the town looked clean enough. Citizens of Albion and Aurorans alike walked the streets, buying goods or enjoying the sights. It made Reaver smile bright as the carriage pulled into the town. The servants smiled.

"This place is beautiful!" said Miss Sarah, happily.

"This isn't the best part." said Reaver, with a lewd smirk. "This lovely city is no miracle, my darlings." shouted Reaver, from the couch seat, where Barry was driving. "It is the product of non-stop hard work and sweat. The Queen wanted more commerce and tourism between Albion and Aurora, and I told her to leave it all to me. Of course, she was skeptical at first, but in less than a year, Reaver Industries turned a dank fishing village on a rocky beach with murky water into a modern and bustling tourist trap next to miles of beautiful coast and crystal clear ocean." Reaver announced, self-satisfyingly. If there was anyone who could exploit something, it was Reaver.

The path through the city was a nice scenic one. All the shops and buildings were colorful and the people were friendly. Glancing at the map Reaver opened; Barry nodded and took a few turns. They soon found themselves at a gate. Barry waved to the person on the gate's tower and the man pulled a lever, opening the gate. "That man isn't wearing a shirt." Willa observed. The servants heard Reaver chuckle as the carriage made its way into the gated community. The servants looked anxious. Upon entering the gates, their jaws dropped.

"Something tells me that wasn't all he wasn't wearing…" said Rosie, trying to hold down her laughter. The gated community was pretty well populated…by people without clothes on.

"Welcome, my doves, to Albion and Aurora's first 'Clothing Optional' resort. I call it 'Dans la Nudité'! I enthusiastically oversaw the construction of this place personally." he shouted, jovially.

"In the Nude?" Beryl translated to everyone else.

"That's right, my darlings! For the next week, our vacation will be…all natural." Reaver shouted, pointing among the homes of waving naked people. Granted, a few people had clothes on, but not much clothing to be considered dressed.

Reaver laughed loudly as the carriage made its way along the now cobblestone path. "I decided that my vacation home should be in a more…natural setting." He added, as they pulled up to a small mansion on the edge of the colony.

"So this is why you told us to pack lightly! I just thought you didn't want to pay for the extra luggage on the ship!" shouted Willa.

"Well, that was a part of the reason, but not the main reason." laughed Reaver. Upon entering the summer home (which was somewhat smaller than Lakeview Manor), the servants looked around at the tropical décor. It made them smile.

"It looks like we're living in a pineapple smoothie!" said Willa, jovially.

Reaver laughed and patted her on the head. "Adorable. Now, this home is smaller than my humble manor back in Millfields, so some of you will be sharing rooms. They should be on the other side of dining room. Hatch and I will have the upstairs bedrooms." said Reaver, pointing to the ceiling. Reaver knelt down and let Reavie out of her little carrier. She stretched and went off to explore. "So, go get yourselves settle in and…undressed…and then meet me back here in the foyer in about ten minutes." Reaver licked his lips and stared at each servant lustfully, then took out his pocket watch.

"Why do we need to be undressed? Isn't this place clothing optional?" asked Miss Sarah, nervously.

Reaver laughed and gave her a lewd smile. "Yes, but your jobs during your stay here aren't. I want everyone in the buff. That is a direct order from your boss." shouted Reaver. Beryl raised her hand. "Yes, Beryl?" asked Reaver, somewhat exasperated.

"Do glasses count as clothing?" she asked.

Reaver sighed. "In this case, no." Reaver looked at his pocket watch again and flipped it open. "Alright, my dears, you have ten minutes. I will be timing you, by the way…GO!" he said, fast. The servants picked up their respective suitcases and ran to find the servant's quarters.

Reaver's bedroom looked almost identical to his room back in Albion (same color scheme, anyway) and stuck out from the rest of the house. Barry put down Reaver's luggage and started to unpack. "Ahh, the sea air, the smell of tropical foods being cooked…" Reaver sashayed over to the window and drew back the curtains. He stared lustfully at the beach, with everyone walking about in their birthday suits. "So natural…" he growled.

Barry rolled his eyes and placed articles of clothing in the closet. "Are you sure this was a good idea, Master? How do we know the servants will have a good time here?" asked Barry. Reaver laughed and dismissed Barry's concern.

"Personally, Hatch, I don't care if they have a miserable time or not. The important thing is that I have a good time and they are here to keep me entertained." Reaver opened the window and let the outside aromas fill the room. Barry tried not to stare out the window. "Ohhh, dearest Hatch, don't be so shy. Granted your skin is pale and you probably shouldn't be out in the sun for long periods of time anyway, but even you can find something fun to do during our stay." He laughed. Barry sighed. He wasn't much for confidence, and being at place where everyone was naked all day, all the time wasn't much of a booster. "I will be going into town later on this evening. So, you're in charge tonight after I leave." said Reaver, as he started to undress. "Now, hurry along to your room and get settled in. I expect you downstairs and in the buff with the other servants in…" Reaver looked at his pocket watch. "…four minutes ago…" Reaver cocked an eyebrow as Barry left the room.

Wearing nothing but a lewd smile, Reaver descended the stairs and smiled at his servants. He knew what Willa looked like naked, now it was time to see the rest of the troupe. Reaver chuckled softly as the servants hid themselves from him. "Now, now, my dear servants, no need to be shy." He laughed, with the stair railing the only thing covering him. Everyone was naked, save for Miss Sarah, who was wearing only an apron. "I thought I told everyone to get undressed." He said, somewhat angry.

"Mr. Reaver, with all due respect, cooking without clothes on is very dangerous." She said, blushing deeply. Reaver looked at her, as if wanting to know more. "I'd rather not explain how I know that." She added, still blushing.

"Fair enough. You may keep the apron, but nothing else!" said Reaver, waving his hand in the air. "Alright, my lovelies, you all know your duties." He looked among his servants, who were still blushing. "Girls, the house needs to be fixed up, so get to it." He shouted, pointing in one direction. Willa, Rosie, and Beryl, still covering themselves with their arms, slowly side-scooted in the direction he was pointing in. "Gordon, go outside and set up the lounge furniture on the porch facing the beach." Gordon nodded and as soon as Reaver turned his back, he ran. "Miss Sarah, go make lunch. I made sure the kitchen was stocked ahead of time so feel free to make whatever. I expect it on the porch as soon as you're done." Reaver said, as Miss Sarah slowly walked past him. The strings of her apron conveniently covered her behind.

Reaver smirked, making his way to the outside. "I swear, I didn't realize my servants were such prudes…this could be fun." Reaver did enjoy tormenting his servants, which was one of the reasons he had them come along. He looked up at the staircase and saw Barry coming down slowly, wearing a towel.

"I won't wear my uniform, but I am keeping the towel on." Barry said, pulling the towel a bit.

Reaver shrugged. "Nothing I haven't seen before, Hatch. I mean, me and you have had our run-ins…" Barry just stood there as Reaver laughed. Barry had a scrawny figure with a few traces of muscles here and there. Reaver rolled his eyes. "I swear, what is the point of coming to a clothing optional facility if I'm the only one enjoying it?" he sighed, making his way to the backdoor. Shaking his head, Barry just followed loyally.

Outside on the porch, Reaver, reclined on a lounge chair, was certainly enjoying the view. Not of the beach, of course. Reaver sipped his fruity drink happily as Rosie brought out his lunch. "Has Miss Sarah calmed down a bit?" he asked, looking Rosie up and down.

"Not really. She's always been a bit private as far as her body goes. Back in the circus, she never changed in front of the other girls in the dressing rooms. Always waited for everyone to be gone or she dressed in the outhouse." Rosie explained, with a shrug.

"Tell me, Rosie, do you know whether or not Miss Sarah has ever…'been' with someone?" Reaver asked. Rosie shook her head and wandered off to help the others.

With a jaunty laugh, Reaver sipped his drink again as he eavesdropped on the conversations of his servants. All of them, save for Miss Sarah, were outside, doing something productive. "…but really, if you get past the initial awkwardness, it's not so bad." said Willa. Beryl smiled, though she still blushed. "It's good to see everyone's brands have healed nicely." Willa giggled.

"I guess this vacation isn't so bad. I mean, granted we had to bound and gag Miss Sarah to get her on the boat, but other than that, this place is pretty nice." said Gordon.

Rosie then joined them. "The sea air is nice and refreshing…" she said, softly. Everyone stared at Rosie. At 5'8", Rosie was tall and very buxom.

"Big…" muttered Gordon, not taking his eyes off Rosie.

Rosie covered herself with her arms and blushed. "Servants!" shouted Reaver, clapping his hands. "I have a wonderful idea!" he said, walking up to his servants.

"Last time you said that, we ended up being chased by a horde of angry Hobbes." said Willa.

"Well, this time it doesn't involve poking something awake with a stick." assured Reaver, tossing a ball in the air with one hand. "We're going to play volleyball! Men against women!" he shouted, happily. Divided into two teams (Reaver, Barry, and Gordon on one side and Rosie, Willa, and Beryl on the other with Miss Sarah serving as referee), the game was about to start.

"Alright, everyone, you know the rules!" shouted Miss Sarah. She blew into a whistle to start the game.

"I must warn you all, I am quite a shot!" shouted Reaver, as he served the ball. The ball came at the girls fast, who dove out of the way as it rocketed past them.

"I think I'll serve next, Master Reaver." said Barry, as the girls threw the ball back.

The game started out light and enjoyable, but eventually got intense. "Now, play nice, you all!" shouted Miss Sarah. "Hey! Foul!" she shouted again. Eventually, she just gave up and sat down. The girls seemed to be winning at this point, and Reaver didn't like to lose. The ball came at him fast, and he rebounded. It rocketed towards the girls. Rosie didn't dive away fast enough, and it struck her in the eye, knocking her down. Miss Sarah blew into her whistle. "Time!" she shouted, running towards Rosie.

Later that evening, everyone sat in the dining room. Miss Sarah finally walked in. "Well, is Rosie alright?" asked Willa.

Miss Sarah sighed and crossed her arms. "She's fine, despite a headache. Unfortunately, she won't be able to see out of her right eye for a while." Miss Sarah lamented. "I also had to use tonight's dinner to get some of the swelling to go down." She added, motioning to an uncooked steak on a plate.

Reaver sighed and stood up. "Well, I guess I can get something to eat in town. Kudos, Miss Sarah, on your first-aid abilities." said Reaver, leaving the dining room. "I am going to go get dressed. Hatch, you're in charge while I'm gone." said Reaver, as he left. Rolling her eyes, Miss Sarah walked toward the kitchen to find something else to make for dinner.

Very late that night, Reaver came stumbling in, drunk. "These Auroran ladies sure can party…" he sang to himself, trying to keep his balance. The house was dark, and he was too drunk to light a candle. He felt his way around the house, hitting a few plants and knocking over a few vases. "Alright, Reaver…one step at a time." He whispered to himself when he found the stairs. He took each step one at a time. One step, than the second, then the third, then the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and so on. As soon as he stepped on the fifteenth step, he slipped on a snag in the rug and fell backwards.

Everyone was awakened by Reaver's painful yelling and the thumps he made as he cascaded down the stairs.

In the early morning hours, Barry found the servants waiting for any word on Reaver's condition. Of course, everyone was in the buff, as per Reaver's orders. "Well, the doctor said he's going to be fine, but…" Barry scratched the back of his head. "…but, he's got a broken leg." He finished. Everyone gasped, even Rosie, with a bandage over her eye. "He'll have to use a crutch to get around for a little while, but the doctor says it's not too serious." He added. "We'll just have to help him out a little more than we usually do. You know, bathing, dressing, that sort of thing."

"Isn't that your job?" asked Rosie, cocking her only visible eyebrow.

"Normally, yes, but it's the actually bathing and dressing part he's going to need help with." answered Barry. The servants stared at Barry. "I know it sounds undignified, but trust me, Reaver hates it as much…well, maybe not as much as you guys, but I think if we work together, we can make him feel better faster. We'll just take shifts, and before you know it, Reaver will be in tip-top shape again, so who's with me?" Barry just then noticed all the servants (save for Miss Sarah, standing there in only an apron) were gone. Barry sighed.

"That was a wonderful speech, Mr. Hatch." said Miss Sarah, with a smile. Barry, still wearing a towel, sat down in a chair nearby. "I'll help you take care of Mr. Reaver, Mr. Hatch." said Miss Sarah, sweetly.

With a blush, Barry stood and smiled. "I appreciate it, Miss Sarah. He said something about wanting scrambled eggs for breakfast." Miss Sarah nodded happily and turned around to walk away. The strings of her apron conveniently covered her behind. Barry blushed and tugged on his towel to make it a bit looser.

In the afternoon, Reaver sat in his lounge chair, watching the servants run around on the beach. Reavie, having made herself comfortable on Reaver's bad leg, purred softly. "Here's your lemonade, Mr. Reaver." said Rosie, as she placed the tray down. "Is your leg feeling better, Sir?" she asked, pouring him a glass.

"A little better; I won't be walking on it for a while, but whatever lets me spend more time with my beloved servants…" he laughed, as he took his drink.

Some seagulls hovered overhead as Miss Sarah brought out lunch. "I made shrimp cocktail for you, Mr. Reaver." She said, happily. "And here's a little for you, Reavie." She cooed, as she bent over to place a small bowl on the ground. Reaver growled lustfully, causing Miss Sarah to blush and hurry back inside. Rosie started to follow, but Reaver grabbed her by her hips and pulled her onto his lap.

"Rosie, we don't talk much, do we?" he asked, firmly holding her down. Rosie started blushing and immediately got up, hurrying back inside. Reaver laughed loudly and sighed. "Have to make your own fun when you have a debilitating injury." He sighed, happily, clasping his hands on his stomach. He winced in pain as Reavie jumped off his leg and made her way to her dish.

Willa sat on a towel and watched happily as Gordon built a sandcastle. "I always imagined sandcastles were homes for hermit crabs." She giggled. Beryl, lying sprawled out on a towel nearby, had fallen asleep in the early afternoon sun. She was snoring softly.

"I think the hermit crabs would complain about the noise too much." Gordon chuckled.

Willa looked over to her left side, and saw a hermit crab pop out of the sand. "Oh, hello there." She giggled. She softly picked up the little crab and softly placed it near the sandcastle. "Welcome home!" she shouted, happily. As the little hermit crab made its way into the sand castle, another hermit crab popped out of the sand. "Oh, he has friends." She said, happily. Another popped out, then another, and another.

"It looks more like an army of hermit crabs." said Gordon, putting the sand shovel down.

Reavie looked up from her little saucer of shrimp at a seagull, perched nearby on a fence post. Reavie knew it was eying her shrimp, and she hissed. The seagull flew away, but two more landed in its place. Reavie growled softly and more landed. Reaver, with his sunglasses on, felt something perch on the end of his injured foot. He pulled his sunglasses down and saw a seagull. "Get off me, you filthy thing!" he shouted, shooing it away with his hand. He watched it fly away only to look over and see Reavie missing. "Reavie?" he cooed softly. He didn't see the little kitten, but he did see a gaggle of seagulls pouncing on something.

It was at that time Barry came outside. "I brought a pillow for you, Master Reaver." He said, holding up a plush pillow.

Reaver leaned forward and Barry placed it behind him. "Hatch, did Reavie go inside?" he asked.

Barry shrugged and looked over at the commotion the seagulls were making. Reaver watched Barry panic and run over to the seagulls, shooing them away. He knelt down and picked up Reavie, who was wide-eyed and shaking. Her fur was disheveled and her bow was messed up. "I found her…" Barry muttered, bringing the frightened kitty to Reaver.

Behind them, Willa ran up and down the beach, screaming, covered in hermit crabs. Gordon ran up to Barry and Reaver. "Willa's covered in crabs!" he shouted.

"I think they make an ointment for that." said Reaver, picking up his drink to sip it.

A little later, in the kitchen, Miss Sarah applied aloe to Willa's pinch marks. "The marks should go away in a few days. Are you in any pain?" she asked.

Willa grumbled. "I feel like I've been attacked by the miniature version of the main course of a seafood platter, but no, it's just mostly uncomfortable." Willa hopped up from her chair and left the kitchen.

Miss Sarah placed her hand on her cheek and shook her head. "We've only been here two days and already I've had to administer first-aid to almost everyone here. Mr. Reaver breaks his leg, Rosie almost lost an eye, the cat nearly gets pecked to death, and now Willa gets attacked by hermit crabs." She sighed, filling a kettle with water. "I need a cup of tea." Just as she poured her cup, Miss Sarah jolted from her day dream when she heard a blood curdling scream. "Now what?" she huffed. She walked out of the kitchen and watched as everyone ran in different directions. Reaver hobbled past as fast as he could. "What is going on?" she shouted, as Gordon ran past.

"It's Beryl!" he shouted as he ran. Miss Sarah looked in the opposite direction and shrieked.

"Miss Sarah…help me!" Beryl whined, as she slowly made her way to Miss Sarah. Beryl, head to toe, was as red as an apple.

Later that evening, during dinner

"This place is a death trap!" shouted Reaver, as he and Barry ate dinner. "We've only been here two days and already everyone in this house has almost died!" Reaver cut into his roast aggressively. "Hatch, the moment we get back to Lakeview, I want you to oversee the selling of this place!" he shouted again, as he placed his fork to his lips.

Barry nodded and sipped his drink. "Well, anyways, as I was saying, Miss Sarah applied aloe to Beryl's pretty extensive sunburn. She can barely move without the horrible burning sensation." said Barry, placing his drink down. "Though, I'm happy to say Willa is doing a little better. She's still a bit shaken from the hermit crab encounter, though."

Reaver sighed and picked up his wine glass. "Well, we still have three days left here. Hopefully, something good will happen."

Outside, the servants were cleaning up the porch, using only tiki lights to help guide them. Beryl, only able to move in small paces, helped Gordon pack up Reaver's fold-up lounge chair. "Well, look at the bright side, the temperature's gone down." She laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"But we're all still naked and most of us are injured." said Rosie, wiping off the porch table. "I really just want this vacation to end." She added.

"A vacation from this vacation." giggled Willa, as she grabbed the empty pitcher from earlier.

"Alright, Beryl, now, slowly close this chair. If it snaps back too fast, it'll hurt." said Gordon, lifting the chair with Beryl, slowly.

"It might be easier if we do it this way." said Beryl, twisting the chair around.

"Look, don't play around with it, let's just get it done." said Gordon, as he tugged on the chair.

Beryl tugged in her direction. "Just let me help!" she shouted. She and Gordon tugged the chair in every which way.

Inside, as Reaver was about to sip his wine again, he heard the sounds of the lounge chair snapping shut and Gordon screaming. Reaver placed his hand on his face and sighed. "Miss Sarah!" Reaver shouted. Miss Sarah left the kitchen with her first-aid kit. She sighed as she passed by.

Miss Sarah tried everything to keep Gordon still. "Gordon, sit still, we have to sling this properly." pleaded Miss Sarah.

Gordon flailed his arms around. "It hurts!" he shouted, as one of his fists hit Miss Sarah in the cheek. She flew back into one of the tiki lights and it fell over, catching the ends of her hair on fire. She screamed loudly as Rosie ran inside to get a jug of water. She ran back outside, and threw the water on Miss Sarah. She stood up slowly, lamented the bruise on her cheek and the singed ends of her hair. Once his arm was set properly, Gordon spent most of the evening apologizing profusely to Miss Sarah.

The hour turned very late, as someone found their way to the kitchen for a midnight snack. No candles were lit, but this person wasn't alone. The sound of a crutch hobbling through the hallway could be heard. As this person made her way to the dining room table with her midnight snack, the sounds of the crutch came to a halt.

"You naughty little minx, wondering around at this hour. I ought to punish you for now being in bed." Reaver semi-growled, as he hobbled to the dining table. He grabbed hold of the person in front of him and started to feel around. "By the nature of your body shivering, I'm going to assume you're Miss Sarah." He said. She nodded, not that Reaver could see.

"What's this? A nightgown? Let's get this off, shall we?" he purred, tugging at her nightgown. Miss Sarah pulled away and made her way to the kitchen. "Ohhh, I love a good chase!" he growled, hobbling after her, with haste. "Now, now, dear Miss Sarah. No need to be coy with me. You can trust me…" he cooed pinning her to the counter.

Miss Sarah thought she heard footsteps behind them, coming from the hallway. "Someone is coming, please let me go…" she whimpered.

"Let them watch…I'll be gentle…I promise…" Reaver leaned in for a kiss.

Miss Sarah reached for anything. She grabbed a frying pan. As if expecting it, Reaver ducked as Miss Sarah swung it, but she hit something. Someone, actually. After reaching around and grabbing a candle, she lit it and shrieked softly. Barry lay on the floor, his head bleeding. "Oh no, Mr. Hatch!" she shouted, kneeling down to him. "I am so sorry, Mr. Hatch! Can you hear me?" she asked, as Barry tried to sit up.

Barry looked at Miss Sarah and smiled. "Well, hello pretty lady. Do we live here?" he asked looking around.

"Oh no…" grumbled Reaver. The other servants, having heard the commotion, ran into the kitchen. "Everyone get dressed! We are leaving!" Reaver shouted, as he hobbled out of the kitchen. Miss Sarah helped Barry up and went to find some bandages.

Barry, somewhat confused, looked among the servants. "Wow, the naked man with the broken leg seems mad at something." He said, softly.

In the early morning hours, Reaver and his servants boarded his personal ship and left the resort. Miss Sarah was too busy tending to Barry to become sea sick this time. He spent most of the trip back to Albion in his cabin, trying not to get madder.

Reaver, still fuming over the lost vacation, opened up his journal and found his pen among his unpacked belongings. He filled it up and began to write.

"From no fault of my own or that of my circus rejects, this vacation has been a total disaster! Words cannot express my anger at this seemingly innocent adventure turning into Hell on the beach! I broke my leg, Rosie is blind in one eye, Beryl looks like a tomato, Willa was attacked by hermit crabs, Gordon has a broken arm, Miss Sarah is missing a few inches of hair and has a bruised cheek, and Barry survived being hit with a frying pan but now has lost his memory! Poor little Reavie survived being attacked by seagulls, but she's still a bit shaken. She won't leave her carrier now. The sooner we get back to Lakeview Manor, the better."

Reaver closed his journal and sighed softly. He really didn't have much else to say about the short vacation. Except that he needed a vacation now more than ever.

"…strange, running around in the nude usually makes me happy…"

N'cha you guys!

This took a while for a very good reason. I was also working on my new fan-fic over in the Bioshock area. And guess what? It's up now! Go check it out and review it! It's not a humor based story like this one, but I think you guys will like it.

I feel I kind of rushed this story, so if it feels rushed, I apologize. Just let me know, and Luna Peachie will work her magic to fix it up right for you guys hehe.

Next Installment: Miss Sarah isn't feeling well, so it's up to the others to cook for Reaver. There is no possible way this could back fire at all…

As always, review and be merry, my friends. And don't forget to check out my other fan-fic in the Bioshock area. It's up now for your viewing pleasure.

Tatty-bye, my doves!

Reaver and Barry Hatch belong to Lionhead.