A/N: This chapter has been officially revised and rewritten as of 01/22/2014. Enjoy!
Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, sighed wearily as he looked over the five people standing before him. His eyes landed on the person standing a ways off to the side of the group. This was Umino Iruka, a young Chunin and Academy instructor. Iruka had found Naruto out near an abandoned shack in the forest, the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing laying forgotten at the boy's feet.
Hiruzen had accepted that report, and turned to look at the bright ball of energy that was Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto explained that Mizuki, another Academy instructor (who, strangely, had not been seen since he pounded on Iruka's door a few hours earlier), had asked him to steal the scroll and learn a jutsu. In exchange for the scroll, Mizuki would have made Naruto a Genin. Hiruzen almost had a heart-attack when Naruto claimed to have not only learned a jutsu from the scroll, but two, strictly forbidden, jutsu; the Shadow Clone Jutsu and the Summoning: Edo Tensei.
Which would explain why he was now staring into the faces of his former teachers and an old Uchiha. And, to make matters worse, Hiruzen discovered that being dead did not mellow Hashirama out, as he had hoped. Instead, the former Hokage seemed to have only gotten more annoying (despite that being next to impossible) and more Naruto-ish.
It was ten minutes into the report that he was told of The Fight. Madara, living up to the Uchiha name, made a comment about Hashirama, which lead to the two having what could only be described as a cat-fight. Hair pulling, scratching, biting, punching, kicking, and insults. Tobirama had, after watching them go at it for a few minutes in amusement, attempted to stop them.
...only to get a large hand-print on his face and torn clothes for his efforts. It took a laughing Naruto creating thousands of clones and piling on top of them to stop them.
After the report ended and he dismissed them, Hiruzen was ready to smash his head into his desk. Repeatedly. he sighed for the umpteenth time that night and slumped into his chair. He glared at the ceiling and mumbled under his breath,
"I knewI should have done the sealing in Minato's steed. His damned kid is going to be the death of me."