The nXt Level

Me: *shifty look as I rock back and forth on my heels, whistling innocently*

…
Me: *Risks a glance at the very irritated mob glaring at me and winces* Err… Hey guys?
Mob: *tapping of feet and huffing* (Really creepy when multiplied quite a lot)

…
Me: *Gives in and places up an invisible shield (Vader having made a very impressive excuse for not being here that I really could not refute. It involved Yoda, Chocolate, light-sabers, a TIE fighter and a blindfold. I am expecting to hear a crash and explosion at any point now- Okay, okay! Sheesh, I get it! Enough with the stalling …)*
So… Yeah. Honestly, I don't have the time to go into why I haven't been able to update. Let's just say life sucks a lot at times and leave it at that? I really am sorry for the delay… When you consider real life, Me and Vader having to go hunt for my muse who escaped her cage and was running loose throughout the various worlds, having somehow stolen the master key to all the doors (I am still unimpressed with my guard, who is still walking on eggshells at the moment… Seriously, new fashion. Egg shell shoes. Seems the film 'Dinosaurs' managed to get it's own door, and their eggs are strong enough to be shoes. Anyway, my Guards really bad fashion sense aside, yes. He is in Trouble. He being Daffy Duck. Bugs is highly amused about the whole thing, seeing as he managed to get out of guard duty.) Where was I? Oh yes, escaped muse. Yeah, we had a hell of a time tracking her down, especially when she got hold of the records from our Yoda hunt a couple of months ago. She used embellished versions of the green monkey's plans to make her own escape, and avoid detection- But that is a story for another time.
My crazy Muse aside, life has been chaotic, and I really have not had the chance to even read fan fiction, let alone write it. I really need to respond to all of the PM's and reviews I've had too, so hopefully I will get around to that soon! I would thank all the new followers and favers, but there really are so many of you! I'll get round to that at the bottom of the chapter, because I really think you would rather read about Jack's escapades.
Anyway, enough from me. I've kept you waiting long enough.
On with the story! - *CRASH/BOOM and all manner of other explosive noises* Oh, yep. Vader has just crashed from his ridiculous excuse to avoid this confrontation with you guys. Seriously, who gets Yoda hyped up on Chocolate, blindfolds him, and gives him access to the Fighter controls? All whilst you are stood on top of said fighter with a light-saber, trying to play your made up game which is a cross over of Fruit Ninja and Space Raiders?

*Blinks… Then sighs dejectedly*
Okay, fair enough. It does sound amusing and awesome and fun to play. I might even ave a go myself! Just don't blindfold the hyper Green Monkey! Is that too much to ask? Honestly… Anyway, I'll go clear up this mess and you guys can go ahead and read the chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Okay, First of all, here is a little apology for the wait. Quite a few people, guests included, have requested that I further explain the 'Jack Lion Taming' thing I mentioned several chapters back. So… Well, here you go. Nothing exciting, nothing ridiculous. Just a bit of an opening tale to get back into the swing of things...
_

"He can do that? You've seen it?"
Sandy nodded, and mimed crossing it off, which North did.
"Okay, scratching off Lion Taming..."

Now that North thought back to that particular conversation, what with him currently staring avidly at the board of 'Can Jack do it?' after having to scratch off 'Old fashioned Weapon forging' after Jack had proven his point by crafting a sword and spear and running after Bunnymund with them, several elves running after him with hand-crafted spears and shields, Sandy had to have been joking, right?
Come on, Lions? A, Lion! B… Well, Lions! Sandy had to have been joking, there was no other option.
And he made sure to tell him so, when he next saw the Golden Guardian a few days later.
Sandy simply responded by huffing, crossing his arms, and grabbing North as he went to make a call to Tooth. They needed her particular skill with memories.

A couple of decades ago…

Jack was whistling idly as he flew over the newest Circus that had set up on the edge of Paris, in one of the most popular locations. Already, there were crowds or tired parents and excited children… And they hadn't even entered the Big Top yet! Well, with nothing else to do, Jack decided to fly down, only to almost fly into a familiar Golden cloud of Sand.
"Sandman? Why are you… Oh, stuff for dreams and everything?"
Sandy nodded, and joined Jack in flying into the huge tent.
Jack nodded, evaluating the acrobatics. He had seen better… Then again, they were quite a new group. And the kids seemed to enjoy it. Of course, a little patch of ice here and there with the clowns never went amiss either… Humour from the dramatic falls and tumbles had the entire tent in raptures. There was also an approving look coming from the big boss, meaning there could well be a raise for the Clowns. Jack grinned. Not bad for one night…
Sandy was busy shaking his head, amused by the young spirits antics -as he often was when he heard about them- but also had a good haul for dreams that night.
He blinked, however, when he noticed Jack had vanished. Seriously, how did the Winter Spirit do that? True, he was the only one who really spent time with the spirit on the rare occasions their paths crossed, but still. Surely someone must have an idea of just how spirits in general did vanishing acts? Surely there were others who could do it? He had to find out…
Honestly, the only other one he could think of who was known for bloody vanishing was that 'Shadow' guy. The one who enjoyed causing a fuss around the spirit world by breaking into high security places for a joke now and then. Again, amusing, but that was off topic. Just where did that spirit go?

Sandy left the tent, scanning for the winter spirit, and blinked as he saw him near to the tent with the big cats. Sandy liked Lions. They were fluffy. Of course, if he told anyone else that, not that he could because… well, no voice, but if he could, they would probably think him crazy.
Heck, at this moment in time, he thought he was crazy himself, because how the hell else could he be seeing a winter spirit taming a lion?
Seriously, he just held his hand out, muttering something from what Sandy could see, and the Lion let him into the cage and purred into his hand. Just… There was something about that spirit.
He waited for a few minutes, until Jack had finished petting the huge and dangerous, yet adorable looking, cat, then flew down and shot several question marks out.
Jack shrugged.
"I like animals. Plus he looked cute- Oh, how did I do that? Dunno. He looked lonely, so I just gave it a go. I'd best be off. China needs a snowstorm. See ya Sandman."
He flew off, leaving the Guardian to blink. Seriously, there was definitely something about that spirit…

North blinked as they all came back to the present, and slumped into his chair, huffing in annoyance.
"Is not fair. Must be something he cannot do!? Come Tooth! I need ideas! He has completely completed the to-do list I made!"
Tooth sighed, her wings fluttering with amusement.
"North, we have been over this. We will be better off waiting to see if we stumble across something he can't do. Making another list is-"
"Bah, we cannot wait! I must know! Until then, I am going to build a life-size lion!"
Tooth blinked as Sandy gave an explosions that seemed half due to panic, half to shock. Tooth summed up his worries in a worried question of her own.
"You don't mean… A kinda living lion, right? Like, one that was almost real life…?"
North shook his head, giving them both a look that said he thought they were crazy.
"Why would I do that? Is foolish to create dangerous creature! I would not do something so dangerous!" He missed the incredulous looks being shot his way, and mused. "No, will be large stuffed lion. That can growl. Will be for Jack's Christmas gift, da!?"
Sandy nodded, grinning. That would be funny. Tooth simply shook her head, and flew away, saying something about a meeting for a job she needed done by a professional. The other two were too busy with there own thoughts to pay too much attention to what that could mean.
Sandy could even picture the glare Jack would shoot at him for telling even more stories about him. The glare got given to everyone who gave a story to North. North even had a list of things he could make simply to irritate the youngest guardian. Of course, the glare would turn to an eye roll. And there would possibly be a prank or two. Which would likely spawn a war.
The Golden Guardian shrugged.
Ah well. Jack was Jack, and Jack would have a stuffed, life-size lion for Christmas.
_

X-treme was going well.
So far, Jack had pranked Cupid, the Sprite Council, Cupid again, some random banker, which had been requested by North, who was apparently trying to do so anonymously and had attempted to disguise himself as an old Brownie woman (Hey, like the leaflet said, he did not ask any questions, he just did it… Well, within reason of course. Besides, Jack didn't think there was anyone within the entire town that had not figured out who the 'Old Woman' was. The swords kind of gave it away.), But yes, there had also been another random banker, then came the most famous Baker in the spirit world (no-one knew whether to laugh or rage at the fact that all of his bread came out pink and blue for two weeks), a couple of nondescript spirits and Cupid yet again. He would have felt sorry for the 'Love Matcher', if she hadn't spent the last few years constantly trying to get a kiss from him. Like, an enchanting 'we are now partners forever' kind of kiss. Mother Nature had not been impressed when she found out-
Anyway, that aside. At this exact moment in time? He had a client in his office, asking him to carry out a task that he really wanted answers for.
True, it was against his 'X-treme Code', but when Tooth was sat across from you, literally red-faced with frustration, and was demanding you replace all of Spectrum's gothic wardrobe- that the Rainbow Spirit had perfected over a great many years and with a great deal of effort, and for which he was now known about world-wide, even having sparked his own fashion craze - with multi-coloured 80's style disco-ish horrors that would not look out of place on that Albus Dumbledore character Jack had heard about… Well? He wanted answers.
"Tooth… There is a prank, then there is attacking someone's prize and joy. Spectrum loves that bloody wardrobe. Like, loves it. What did he do to demand such vengeance?"
Tooth's wings were bristling as she replied.
"I asked for a sugar free drink… He gave me the human drink, Coca Cola!"
Jack winced, and tried to ignore the fact he had slid down in his chair, trying to put a little more distance between him and the irate Tooth Fairy Queen.
"Err… Okay. But can I not completely destroy it? That's a bit over-the-top-"
"In that case, I demand horrors beyond imagining!"
"… Done. I'll even throw in a bubble special." Those magic words had Tooth blinking, before attempting to regain her 'not-caring-either-way' façade. Kind of hard to do when she wanted to dance and squeal with glee.
"… That will suffice. I want photo evidence, I want embarrassment to the extreme. He needs to be photographed wearing the disco horrors!"
Jack gave her an incredulous look, having seen enough people wearing the 'eye ticking, half-insane' look to be able to ignore it, as he gave her a very indignant huff and response.
"… What do you think I am? An amateur? Embarrassing blackmail comes with the job. Honestly Tooth, I am offended…" He pouted, before suddenly leaping to his feet, skipping out from behind the desk. (Yes, he had a desk. It was a big desk covered in official looking paper and pens and folders and stuff, what with people liking the whole 'business' look. It also had a comfortable, high-backed swivelling chair on wheels. In a random office in a random, spirit only, town. Seriously, if people were desperate enough for vengeance that they would follow the rumours to said office, then they deserved his help. And if he wasn't there, then Flow would be. She had nothing better to do, so had made herself his assistant... Plus it meant she was exempt from the pranks).
Grabbing a sheet of paper, he made a note of the plan and tacked it onto the list he already had to carry out. Most were time specific, you see. He actually had a whole year-diary taped to the wall, with different tasks coded ready for him to do them.
"Okay, Tooth. Get me a load of clothes designs, and I'll get it done. Won't be till at least next week though. I've got one major prank to play, all top secret stuff so I am afraid I can't tell you, and also another prank to play on Cupid. Not to mention all my usual stuff. That sound okay? "
She blinked, before nodding, a small, evil smile spreading across her face as she settled back into her chair, summoning her two escort fairies. (After all, one did not simply meet the Big Boss of X-treme, in an official business capacity, without a body guard of some sort… No matter to what degree you knew him outside of this line of work. Appearances had to be maintained after all…)
"That's perfect. Fairies! Let us return. We have horrific clothing to design. The more your eyes burn, the better you are carrying out the task. Bye Jack! Oh, and Sandy was telling me and North something about a Lion? Only you could feel sorry for a lonely Lion, it's so sweet!. " Jack shook his head as the three very unsubtly leapt from the window and flew away.
Great. Honestly, how many more stories could Sandy have about him? They weren't even that interesting! But yes, that aside, now he would have to move to the third office for the next few weeks. Second, aka the one he was currently stood in, had been compromised.
Yes, he had a network of offices, all in random places in random spirit only towns. After all, wouldn't want to make tracking him down easy. It was always the most desperate ones that had the best ideas. Now, he had to make sure he staked out Spectrum's place properly. After all, he had a reputation to maintain, and getting caught, or leaving evidence of him being somewhere, was simply unacceptable. He was a professional!
_

Jack shook his head, inwardly cringing, at the clothing that lay on the rail in front of him.
It was all bright, clashing, covered in ridiculous patterns and generally horrifying. Tooth could be very vindictive when she wanted to be. Ah well, a task was a task. He let the fairies pack up the outfits, before slipping them into his larger backpack. With a small wink for good measure, which had several of them swooning (Yep, even after so much exposure, he still had it), he hopped from the window and head for Spectrum's tavern.
It was bloody hard. Seriously, the damned spirit had almost as much protection on the wardrobe(which was actually an entirely separate room all on its bloody own) as North had on the new improved 'Recipe' safe. Yes, there was that much security, and yes, it was that good.
Eventually, however, he managed to bag every outfit in the wardrobe, making sure to be very careful with it. After all, it really was a great collection. Most of it was vintage too.
After carefully shrinking the neatly folded stacks, he put them in his bag, replacing the clothing with the horrors that Tooth had created.
Then, he added his own little twist.
Using a new dust he had created, he blew it over all of the clothes. Now he just had to get some of it on Spectrum, and he would be set. The spirit would still see his usual outfits, and what he expected to see, but everyone else would see what he was actually wearing. It would only be when someone pointed it out to him that he would see the reality.
Harsh, but amusing. Best bit was, the spirit would still only see normal clothes in his wardrobe. Of course, as soon as the spirit had seen the reality of all of the outfits, the dust would be rendered inert and Jack would return his actual clothes, but the damage would be done.
Flow was going to be positioned in one corner of the bar, holding a 'spy camera', which was actually the ring on her finger, and Jack, himself, would take some pictures from the bar itself. After all, the best alibi is one where you are in plain sight of… well. Everyone.
He had managed to get all of this part of the plan done during the evening shift, so the next part would take place the following day. As soon as the tavern opened, that would be it. The prank would begin.
And to think people said Jack was too irresponsible to work properly.
Now though, he had to brief Flow, tell Tooth that 'Operation Rainbow' was set to go, and see what the hell Bunnymund wanted now. Seriously, if the damned Pooka wanted to know about the new 'ultra-top-secret' prank he had been hired to do, then the answer was still no, just as it had been last week. To think, Bunnymund had actually managed to get an egg into his office to spy on him. Oh the shame of it… THE SHAME!
He really had to improve his security. Couldn't have Bunny thinking he was in the lead of their little 'War of Anything and Everything'… but that could wait.
_

Flow grinned as she settled into her corner, early then next morning, a coffee in front of her. This was going to be great! There was always quite a few regulars who turned up in the morning, seeing as Spec's coffees were almost as well known as his 'Gold'. For good reason too, but she was here on a job. And where was- Oh, there he was.
"Morning Jack!"
"Hey Flow, you're out early?"
Ah, so they were going with 'basic undercover/alibi creating conversation No. 4'.
What? They required such measures in such a high-stakes area of work such as this!
"Yeah. Not up to much though. You?"
"Nope. Just came in from Russia, so felt like stopping for a bit."
"Tired?"
"Very. I'm gonna grab a drink. Coming?"
"Nah, I'm comfy here. Probably too warm for you though. Heater is on."
"Fair enough."
Jack head up to the bar, fully aware that Flow had already got several photo's of the monstrosity that the spirit behind said bar was wearing. Good thing he was good at keeping a straight face!
Blue and neon yellow striped jeans, with spotty trainers. Like, Red spots on a pink background trainers. Then there was a light pink jumper, with neon green stars on it, along with a dark brown jacket, covered in blue sheep.
He had no idea what Spectrum thought he was wearing, but all Jack could see was a headache forming. Ah well, he had a job to do.
"Morning Spec. No-one else in this morning?"
"Nope. Probably pick up later. Iced Coffee?"
"How did you guess…"

Jack sat, sipping his coffee, and managed to subtly take several photos with the small camera on the collar of the jacket he was wearing (Yes, he was still wearing the leather Jacket. What? He liked it! What with the whole 'Tooth making clothes for you if you don't wear those you already have' thing going on, he really had no choice! For some reason, though, the last time he had met Cupid, wearing it, she had barely been able to hold a straight conversation, or give him an answer longer than two syllables. What was getting into people lately?)
So, today's photos were done. Hopefully, when others came in and Spectrum found out what he was really wearing, he would go and change. If that was the case, he might get through all the outfits Tooth had made before the day was out! Ah well, that made life much easier. Plus, there was a simple excuse for staying all day then. What 'Guardian of Fun' would be able to walk away from such entertainment? It was going to be practically expected of him to stay and ridicule!
Thus settled, he grinned as the door swung open and a spirit walked in.

"Holy- Moon what- Spectrum mate, what, in the name of the Sun, are you wearing!?"
Spectrum blinked, and gave his perfectly normal gothic outfit a glance.
"What?"
"… Mate, you look like a bloody Human clown!"
"Terry, I have no idea- HOLY MOTHER OF MOON! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"
Spectrum legged it from the room, as the reality of his outfit became visible to his own eyes.
Jack shrugged to the newcomer.
"He'll probably be down in a minute…"
The spirit gave him a suspicious look.
"Do you have something to do with this…?"
"Me!? I only just got in here… But if he happens to wear a similar outfit, leave long enough for someone to, hypothetically of course, take a few photos?"
"… Sure." The spirit took his seat, making sure to be at least two seats away from the 'Guardian-of-Fun-and-Impossibly-high-levels-of-Humiliating-Vengeance',(The spirit world had yet to find a shorter name for the newest Guardian, so were left with many variations of the 'Name-of-too-many-hyphens') leaving Jack to grin.
"Thanks. Hang on, don't you work at the American Spirit bank? Yeah, I accidentally hit you with the pink dye a few weeks ago. Sorry 'bout that. How's the big boss recovered?"
"… Was that you!? All us floor guys are on a two week holiday whilst he recovered! Been ages since I've had a chance come here. And it's fine, I thought the pink looked rather dashing in a way."
"... Each to their own. And well, someone who was behind such an event would not inform someone that they were behind it. It could ruin the image they were cultivating of not getting caught-"
"So it was you. Cheers for that."
"… Flow!?"
The spirit looked over, blinking.
"What?" she called back, and Jack sighed.
"Why am I trusted so little with denials and such?"
"… Because you are Jack Frost, 'Guardian-of-Fun-and Amusement-and-Humiliation-Beyond-Imagining'." she replied, as though it was obvious, getting an incredulous look from the Guardian.
"What kind of name is that!?"
"One of the shorter ones, actually. The longest has twenty seven hyphens. And yes, people actually use it."
"Unbelievable. You don't see anyone doing that to Bunny, or North!"
"Well, think of a shorter name then. No-one else has been able to!"
"… Terry? That task has fallen to you."
"… Frosty?" was the timid response, and Jack blinked.
"… Was that a joke?"
"Okay then, what about… Err… Prank Master?"
"My ego is not that large. I it ever dared get that large, I would have a lot of people attempting to whack it out of me. Including a very scary young spirit with a very good right hook."
"You mean Lily, Jack?"
"Who else? And... err... I never said that?"
"Sure thing boss." Flow grinned, returning to her coffee, as Terry mused and came up with another name.
"Okay then… Snowball-?"
Jack blinked, hoping against hope that the spirit was joking, but not willing to bet on it. Instead, he turned to a safer source of conversation.
"No. Just no. Flow? One, that name does not get back to Bunny, and Two? The task of coming up with a name that is not hyphenated is back with you. Maybe Shady could help. Offer him five months of no pranks. If he haggles, no more than eight."
"You got it boss. Permission to use a little leeway?"
"Go for it."
"Awesome- Oh, hey Spec…"
Jack immediately span and had to really struggle to avoid laughing. Quickly, he snapped several photos, under the pretence of re-arranging the collar, and grinned.
"Err… Spec? Sorry, but that is even worse."
"But… But I definitely took the stuff from my wardrobe, and it was definitely Gothic! Definitely! Those… Hideous things from before are just… I can't even… No. No, I am definitely wearing my Gothic Glory!"
"Really?" This was a barely coherent Terry, who managed to splutter out between his laughing fits. "So… The Green and Blue spotty pants, and the lovely pastel cream t-shirt with the rainbow on it with colourful dancing lambs? And the- Aww, come on Spectrum! I wasn't finished! "
The Rainbow Spirit had legged it out of the room again, and the others were too busy laughing to notice.
When he came in several minutes later, there were a few more people in the bar, who had heard of the phenomenon, and no-one wanted to call the present Guardian out on it. They wanted to see for themselves.
And so they did. It was several seconds of stunned silence, which Jack took advantage of to get his precious evidence, before the room erupted into laughter.
Spectrum, however, decided to let his business side out again, and served them all, trying to keep hold of a mask of dignity. He failed.
As soon as everyone had there orders, he was back out of the room.
With a direct glare at Jack.

Spectrum knew it was Jack. It had to be Jack.
As soon as he walked into the room, where Jack was, his clothes changed. Yes, that had to be what was happening.
"Jack! Stop it!"
The guardian blinked, turning from where he was chatting with a couple of spirits, and raised an eyebrow, leaving it to Flow to take photos this time.
"Stop- Moon, what are you wearing this time!?"
"You! It's you who's doing it! Stop changing my clothes every time I enter the room!"
"… What?" Jack shook his head, grinning. "Spec, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"Well… I don't care. Stop it." Spectrum huffed, before storming away to change. Again.
The others in the room gave him a look, as if to say 'Caught out' and he shook his head at their lack of faith.
"Flow? I'm heading over to the Hard-ware store for a moment. Be back in a bit. This is too good to miss."
"Sure thing, Jack."
Everyone shared looks. What the… Did this mean it wasn't Jack…?
And, when Spectrum entered the room again, this time wearing a lovely pastel blue and pink outfit, with a neon green Jacket and bright yellow boots, they realised that Jack was either not responsible, or very bloody good at his job.
"Where is that darn 'Guardian-Who-Pranked?'"
Flow blinked. Hey! That was a good one! Anyway…
"He head across the street for a minute. He said he'll be back in a bit. He doesn't want to miss this."
"So… It's… Not Jack?"
"Who knows, Spectrum. Who knows…"

Jack casually walked back out of the store, a staple gun and a blow-torch now securely in his back-pack and a terrified shop-keeper trying to be subtle about hiding behind the display on the till counter, already mentally crossing those two items off of his need-for-the-next-prank-on-Bunny list. He entered the bar just in time to see Spectrum stalk back out of the room, just managing to catch a glimpse of what appeared to be a neon pink tutu, bright green and orange striped tights, and an 'I love the Yankee-Doodles Spirit Squad' shirt. Ouch, Tooth really did have a harsh sense of humour. Yankee game supporting clothing in a 'Brownie Boys' town? Cruel and unusual punishment.
And so the pattern continued for the great majority of the day, until Spectrum decided to close early. But he had still made more today than on a normal weekday. After all, it is not everyday that customers from all over the town head there to buy a drink and ogle at the most amusing prank that had been heard of that week. Front row seats? Who wanted to miss that?
Jack grinned as he left, taking Flow's camera with him, a little before the rest of them. He had been musing, and decided to sort out the wardrobe the following day, maybe around lunch hour. Plenty of time during the usual rush.
Now he just had to sort out these photos, get them to Tooth, and find out just what that name-of-twenty-seven-hyphens was. Honestly, why could they not simply use Jack Frost?
Oh, and he did have that bubble special to arrange...
_

Three days later, the clothing horror had worn off, and Spectrum allowed himself to relax.
Big mistake.
When a huge wave of multi-coloured bubbles erupted as he opened a bottle of 'Gold', he was left covered in the stuff, as were half of his amused customers.
He had forgotten one of the rules...
Never let your guard down. If something seems safe, it likely isn't. Or something like that. Where was Guerilla Shady when you needed him?
_

The-Guardian-of-Utter-and-Sheer-Awesomeness-and-Fun-and-Amusement-and-Horrific-Crashing-Doom-by-the-way-of-Intense-Humiliation-for-Anyone-who-dares-Cross-His-Path.
Jack simply shook his head. The name had spawned in a playground (though how the kids came up with it had him bemused, seeing as they were kids and there were several rather large words in that name)and had spread to the parents. Then their friends. Then everyone else.
What kind of a name was that!? And that wasn't all. Oh no, not by a long shot. There were loads of versions of the name going around. He just hoped Flow fixed it soon. That could get tiresome in a conversation. Honestly, 'Jack Frost' would do. 'Jack' or 'Frost' on their own would also do. They had for over 300 years after all.
Heck, he would even take 'Frost-bite' over some of the more ridiculous names he had come across. But only some. He wasn't that desperate.
Yet, at least.
_

"No, Bunny. I am not going to tell you who the 'Ultra-Secret Prank' is targeted at. It will likely reach the news anyway, what with the sheer audacity of it."
"But Frost-bite! Why not?" Bunny was actually whining, and Jack rolled his eyes.
"Look to the name. 'Ultra-Secret'. Trust me, anyone finding out, aside from me and the people ho signed the petition, will be in grave danger if this gets out."
"Petition...?"
"Sure. Took then seven meetings to convince me to even consider the suicidal idea they had in mind."
Bunny whistled.
"That bad, huh?"
"Bunny, think the worst, then multiply it."
"... So not Pitch?"
"No, not Pitch."
"... Tooth?"
"Scary thought, but no. I'm not crazy enough. Not with her still fuming at Spectrum."
"... Some other posh banker?"
"Bunnymund! I. Am. Not. Telling. You!"
"... Fine. But it had better be good when I hear it. And I need ya to prank North again."
"... What did he do this time?"
"He actually had the audacity of sayin' I should put Christmas themes on me googies!"
Jack blinked, then sighed.
"Fine. But no more trying to send egg spies into my offices."
"... You drive a hard bargain."
"Deal or not? I'm speaking as the Boss of X-treme at this moment in time..."
Bunny blinked, then gave a sheepish chuckle.
"Heh heh... So... No more googie spies. Got it... So you really are not going to tell me who this 'Ultra-Secret' prank is on-"
"NO!"
_

The following week, Bunny realised that he owed Jack big time for not telling him his target.
Jack would have to go underground and be subtle and not go out too often in public for at least half a decade. Anyone else implicated would be in big trouble too...
Seriously, who in there right bloody mind would turn Mother Nature's Summer Palace BRIGHT PINK! With Neon green stripes. It was bloody horrific, and terrible, and by Moon, she was out for vengeance. True, Jack had left no evidence, and was only suspected because of the fact that he was, likely, the only one aside from Fool who could have done it. Then again, even Fool would have had trouble, and wasn't crazy enough to even try.
He had actually, if rumours were true, barricaded himself inside his highest security store and sent Mama Nat a video recording of his denial of any involvement.
Wise decision.
Honestly though, Jack was the prime suspect, and his innocent eyes had only worked to enable him to escape from Mother nature the first time she had tracked him down. It probably would not work a second time. Even his 'Gaze of Adorable Doom' might not be enough...
So yeah, hiding.
North, who was emphatic with Mother Nature about not being involved had given Jack a stock of orbs, telling him he would need them. Tooth had told him that, whenever he went out into public, he would have to ask her for a fairy escort to accompany him. Even Bunny had told him he could have an egg guard if required.
Seriously, Mother Nature was a scary old girl when she wanted to be. He honestly would not like to be in Jack's shoes right now.
Of course, Sandy, not being at all terrified of the spirit who was almost as old as him, had just been too busy coping with his Hero-Worship to offer anything helpful. Maybe he could be convinced to give Jack a couple of sleep sand-grenades? Those, along with Jack's, now constantly present, pranking weaponry (which consisted of a couple of paint blasters, one of his adaptable rifles that could hold practically anything though snowballs were often his ammo of choice, and a few smoke-grenades to make good his escape if needed), should be enough to enable his escape from any tricky situations.
Seriously Mother Nature had people looking for him everywhere. If she got hold of him, it would be a rant of epic proportions which would likely last for hours and go down in history! The Daily Guardian had even assigned a reporter to her, full time, to be sure they got every moment of the action, and in the hope that they could catch the rant. But of course, with Jack, it would be a task and a half to catch him for that long. This would be in the news for bloody weeks.
Bunny was trying to keep a stern view on the whole thing, but really?
Man, Jack had bloody guts. And whoever it was who made that damned petition definitely knew what they were doing.
Pranking Mother Nature? Likely the first and last time it would ever happen, so they had better make the most of the fallout.

Well, there we go. Hope you all enjoyed!
If anyone has any ideas for hyphenated names, I am considering slotting in a scene in the next couple of chapters where Jack visits somewhere with a load of people(maybe a spirit school or something as a Guardian visit? Could be interesting…), and gets exposed to loads of them. Make them as amusing or ridiculous as you like!
And the Pun War is also likely going to take place next chapter, along with Mother Nature's hunt for Jack.

That aside, I finally managed to extract Vader from the wreckage of the ship. Yoda on the other hand? Gone. Again. But this time? I am not following him. Oh no, no this time I am sending Vader on a solo mission. He needs to learn the fine art of diploamacy. My reasoning?
1- He needs to learn that a light-saber and choke-holds are not the answer to every problenm you face. He has to find other solutions… I have the Toons on hand to help with that. Bugs will be doing that whole thing where he pops up from random holes in the ground or in the trees or under rocks or wherever, and will then be giving Vader some wonderful life motto's. Bugs will then be teching me how the hell he manages to pop up in these random places, as I really want to know. Have ever since I was a kid.
2- The people Vader meets will likely know me in some capacity. (Well, most of the doors are to worlds I visit all the time! It is totally not my fault that Mulan and Shang's actual anniversary was interrupted. Nope, not my fault at all. Honestly, I completely blame Mushu, I had no hand in it. At all, whatsoever) This means that they will be likely to just give him a weird look, kick his ass, and send him back.
3- Most of the worlds know how terrifying a Yoda-on-the-Loose can be, so will eagerly help Vader in the Green Monkey's apprehension.
4- I get some bloody peace and quiet. Well, aside from the fighting tournament that has been arranged between several of the different film and TV show casts. Star Wars, Pirates of the Carribbean, Men in Black (I, II and III. Yeah, I am that awesome!), Lord of the Rings, Looney Tunes, a variety of Marvel films and stuff (Money's on Coulson from that group! Fury was too much of a killjoy to take time off from 'Hunting Hydra', though I reckon he's just lying low in a bar somewhere. I would have invited the Fantastic four, but Mr Hottie would be spending too much time flitting between his two roles, and I really want Steve… Well, Captain America), then there is a few key figures from a variety of other Disney films. Mulan and Shang are visiting, as is Mushu, though I still say Crickee will beat Mushu anytime. Tarzan and Jane are coming along, Abu is too (Aladdin couldn't make it), and quite a few side-kicks are tagging along with a lot of the main characters being too stuck-up or boring. Quite a few bad-guys turning up too, surprisingly. I mean, who would have thought Hook would willingly give Peter Pan a Lift?

Oh, right. Okay, yeah, stuff in my head is taking up too much of authors note. Point taken… (But I will still give you the results and progress of this particular tournament next chapter!)
Anyways, hopefully won't be too long till I can update again. (I have exams on the 3rd, 6th and 11th of June, so revision needs to come in as well, but there will definitely be completed fics popping up all over my page after that final date!)

A quick thanks to all the reviews that have been given since the last chapter, I will try to respond as soon as possible. Thanks to the Guest reviewers as well! To those of you who were very specific in your concerns, as you can now see, I am definitely alive and well. Busy, but well, Lol
Thanks for the feed-back, and hope you continue to enjoy the fic!

Till next time guys!

Raven xx

Before I completely leave you, however, here is a thanks to everyone who has followed and faved over the last couple of chapters!

RedHoodieAngel, Kitty-Chan UchiNaru no Miko, Skullkay 25, JayFoxMaster, ReaderKit, Fyrusfairy, clarkeashley39, Anti-Social-Catterpillar, thecrazygenderbenderfangirl, A Nonny Mouse Fangirl, TheQueenOfMusic, GiuliaZe, BreeTannerHuang, superwhomerlin2000, brittanyleewilton, ancientanger, Visible Pumpkin, jessica_neal_56679, G4M3RGUR1, turquoise ninja 012, Rolosumm, Queen Arabia, YuukiHikari999, fnguyen_wave, Gabwolfgirl, Gummiworm, ChristinatheHobbit, martinannamartinanna, iHeartsDarkJack, MapleMischief, MerthursFollower, Piunum Damuus Alneke, ForeverPowerless, Bethlovesall, annea101, demonicfate616, Champion3, IvyLestrange, BoundlessBlood, Fiction reader 3199, Frosty Sparrow, DarkMoon010, AyameKitsune, Dragon Maiden Of Camelot, Amaranthe Efstathia, YaoiQueen18, ilove0t6forever, ComeHellOrHighWaterBringItOn, PhoenixTears21, frostbite124, percabeth2025, FictionFreak16, Misty Flare Dash, ppgzfanz1, CryinHate, lyakudryavtseva, TheRookMaster, DarkBlue1292, DreamingBookWyrm, naruto uzamaki namikaze angel, Wildgirl404, Era-Penn, Celestial Slytherin-Black, Arkell26, CenturysRuin, Jack-Frost13, Luna Miste, Gage39, Shadow Cards, lovelypurple1999, Lady Lily Anne, Cat Lunanoff, IvetheGreat, percyjacksonforevah, maryam24ish, Shadowcatx3, x talitha x, midnight rose112358, changeofheart505, Dragonfan47, FireLovesMe22, JustThinkingOutloud, soaringhawk32, kanakoyuki, ahriufakir18, God of Spirits-Spirit Black, saraphine85, TheObsessedWriter, Hawkeyerocks5, Killerkoala, huggerofbugs, Rogue8496, Wolfenden, fanfiction lover 228, rainbowhedgehogs8, sarathestarkidranger, bribri16, midnightnovaangel, YukiTenchi, monst3rboyd, AryaAirWaterEarthFire, lollypop2d, happy-go-lucky writer,.

That... was a longer list that I thought it would be. Like... Wow. Seriously, humble pie has never tasted so good :P