June 24th, 2011
11:28pm
His kisses aren't anything like Peeta's. They're only sloppy and wet but he hasn't been drinking or smoking anything at all. He's just a plain bad kisser.
"Katniss," he groans as his pelvis grinds into my own but I feel nothing, I just lay there emotionlessness. "You feel so good."
Trying not to chuckle at his poor husky tone and count for as long as I can until I push him off of me.
"My mom will be home," It's a poor excuse because my mom is never home at night. She's always working night shifts at the hospital, but he doesn't know that. "You should get going, Marvel."
Hitting the bed with his fists, Marvel curses and sits up straight.
'Here we go again.' I think and before I even have time to say it out loud he's already getting mad over how I haven't given anything up for him tonight.
"Katniss," he spits, "when are you going to actually fuck around with me?"
"When worms get ears," I reply and fix my tee then throw his shirt at his chest. "And you should most likely get going because that's never happening." Standing up he does, too but on the other side of my bed and I shrug, adding a comment, "I guess this is good bye."
He aggressively tugs his shirt back onto his body then points his finger at me with annoyance easily visible on his facial features.
"You're a fucking tease." Marvel doesn't yell but talks in a calm manner with his teeth gritted and his coat clenched in his free hand. "You're a fucking little slut who can't even live up to that title."
"Yep, you're right," I nod with a small sigh and stand shove my hands into my pockets. "I am and you probably should go because I might just break down at any given moment because I do not live up to my title of being an little slut."
He happily obliges and exits through the window that's at ground level, like the rest of the one story house we live in.
Prim would go crazy if she knew a boy was here with me and most likely let it slip to my mom somehow. And we wouldn't want that happening or they'd both get the idea that I'm actually having sex and my mom's number one rule is never to have sex under her roof, or to have sex at all because that's for marriage, for love, for the one that will hold my heart for life.
What a load of shit.
He leaves in his car and I let out a good sigh of relief. The expiry date on that one was well needed.
When I enter the kitchen, Prim is eating a bowl of cereal. Looking up from the television she smiles and looks back to it. It's a good view from the island counter so in the morning both my sister and I can watch cartoons. I'm twenty one and still watching cartoons, I know it's sad but it's the only real bond we get anymore.
"Been smoking anything lately?" I ask her jokingly and she shoots me a glare, making me laugh.
"Shut up," Prim snaps and I could see a faint smile on her. "It was one time and you should blame Rory for it, okay?"
"Oh, I will. Gale got me into far worse at your age, kiddo. I say it's the Hawthorne's that do these things to us. It always was." I'm only joking, the Hawthorne's have done so much good for us that the bad things seem so senseless to get angry over.
She chuckles and flips through the channel and I look to my phone as I pour some orange juice.
There are three text messages from Madge, one from Gale and Annie and a missed phone call from Finnick. I suppose there is a party tonight, one they want me to attend, badly.
"Listen," I began to start a bargain with Prim but she waves her hand dismissively.
"You're going out, I can only guess with how you're looking at me." Prim sighs and looks away from the show to look me dead in the eye. "Story is you're in bed sleeping when mom gets back and I'm in trouble for staying up late." She gives me thumbs up and pours more cereal into her bowl. Is that all the kid survives on? I made food earlier, gees.
I kiss her the top of her hair and head for the shower then get dressed in light distressed jeans and a tank top.
Outside I stand with my hair in a knotted bun. I don't care too much for my hair, it's too frizzy during the summer for me to even try and handle it.
Finally the red pickup truck comes down my street and it slows down before halting right in front of me. Instead of getting into the actual truck, I climb into the back and sit there until we pull up in front of a large building.
"Whose party is it?" I ask once we're all standing on the sidewalk and I adjust the jeans that had somehow lowered themselves off my hips.
Gale stood next to me and lit a cigarette and threw the lighter over to Johanna, just one of my many close friends.
"I don't even know," he says and lets out a small puff of smoke. "I just saw flyers all over downtown, near that bakery you wanted to go to so badly since it opened two months ago, and it said something about a big bachelor bash that was open to everyone and anyone willing to go."
From outside it seemed like a big bash. There was even a line to get in with a bodyguard that checked everyone's ID. There must be alcohol if they needed the bodyguard.
"Finn," Annie whined and jumps up and down on the heels of her flats. "I forgot my ID." She was always a forgetful one, she was also slow and quite but we didn't mind that.
"Gale," Finnick muttered and as if on cue Gale threw his keys to the bronzy haired guy and the couple was off to pick up what she had forgotten back home.
"Looks like it's just the four of us until the love birds get back," Johanna says and Madge comes towards us after eyeing at the building with furrowed brows.
"What is it?" Johanna asks and elbows her in the ribs so hard that Madge jumps and hits her arm.
Rubbing whatever pain she had coming, Madge shook her head and looked at me but she spoke directly to Johanna.
"Nothing," she said softly. "I just thought I saw… something."
Choosing to ignore her I take the smoke from Gale's mouth and place it between my lips and pull out my money and the three follow my lead.
"One hundred, forty three dollars and eighty nine cents…" Gale says slowly and starts counting in his head.
"I guess I could buy a pill for each of us and the rest go to drinks." He finishes and we all agree with it.
Within fifteen minutes Marvel is here and makes a point to ignore me. Giving Gale the small baggy in exchange for the money, Madge starts flirting with the boy who was just placing his lips all over my neck and I roll my eyes.
"So," Johanna whispers and sits onto the cool cement ground next to me. "I'm guessing you and Marvel are done?"
"There was no Marvel and I to begin with," I state and turn to her. "But yeah, I guess we are. He was a sloppy kisser anyway."
"Then you won't mind if I go and tweak up his skills a little?" She smirks and stands, stepping on her third cigarette since we had arrived and sways her hips over to Marvel and kisses him square on the mouth. Stunned, Madge backs off and sighs and stands next to Gale as they try to ignore the dealer and the smoker make face with each another.
Within another fifteen minutes Annie and Finn are back with their money, her ID and her cellphone.
"Ready?" Gale asks and we place the pill on each of our tongues, minus Finn and Annie, and we look at each another. One sober second and the next we're swallowing the white tablet dry.
On the inside of the building is far crazier than what it seems to be like from the exterior view.
Male and female dancers stand on small, square stages place around the large room and waiters and waitresses walk around with trays full of drinks in all kinds of shapes, sizes and colors. The crowd dances, or rather the crowd is swaying and grinding, that would be a better description. The lights flash and zip around as it follows the beat of the music.
"Let's head over there!" Gale shouts to us and points toward an area of the part that seems to be less crowded. We follow each another to form a line until we're a circle where Gale wanted us to stand.
"I'll get drinks," Finn says and makes Gale go with him. They're so used to what we get while we're out that they know our starting drinks.
Madge fixes her top and has her eyes on Gale from afar. Johanna smacks her hands and shakes her head because neither Johanna nor I think it's a good idea for Madge to go chasing after Gale while they're both drunk and drugged. That has happened before and they got over the one night stand—actually… Gale did, and Madge just seemed to have fallen in love with him since then.
Annie giggles and helps Madge fix her blonde curls.
"You should do it while you're sober," says Annie, "you'd be surprised just how he might react."
The three of us stare at her and she looks innocent as she adjusts' Madge's hair. When she realizes that all our eyes are on her she blushes and pulls her hand away to let it hang by her sides.
Before we could bombard her with questions with what she meant, the guys are back with a small tray containing our drinks though some of the liquid has flowed over and onto the trays surface.
"You're a shit waiter," Johanna comments to Finnick and he mimics her remark with a higher pitched tone than what she really sounds like.
Smacking his shoulder, Annie gives him a look and he pouts at her like he's asking for forgiveness. It's kind of sickening how they can communicate without actually speaking but Madge begs to differ because she thinks it's romantic and it means that they really truly love each another. Even thinking about Madge's view on it makes me sick to my stomach. No one can actually love someone else that deeply. Everyone has a motivation for doing something, wicked or not, there is always a motivation.
"Okay," Gale says and lifts his drink so we all follow in suit. "To fucked up nights and young age!"
"Or," Johanna interrupts in the usual Johanna way, "to having fun!" We all know it's for the sake of Annie and Finn because they don't get as fucked up as we would, but hey, who really cares because all we really want to do is drink.
All together we say it, "To having fun!" and we finish our drinks as quickly as we can with Finnick finishing first, Johanna, Gale, me, Madge then Annie.
After a few hours we find the guest of honor, the bachelor. He apparently co-owns that bakery and had enough funds to buy this place out for the day and this was his last night being single. He told us that his brother planned the entire thing for him.
"Sounds like a very fun man," Gale slurred and chugged from his can and threw it over his shoulder so it hit Madge right on her forehead. We all laughed, even Madge though her face was tomato red.
"He's around here somewhere," Riker said slowly like he was trying to taste the words. "Would you guys like to meet him? He's totally into meeting new people and shit like that, I don't know. He's just a real outgoing kind of guy who paints and bakes and reads a lot of weird books."
My throat closes up when a broad man in a deep green tee wraps one of his strong arms around Riker's neck to bend him over and roughly rubs his knuckles through the bachelor's blonde curls in a playful way.
"Talking about me, are you Rye?" The boy teases and continues to trouble the drunk he had in his grip. "Huh, are you?"
We all laugh—actually they all laugh, I'm only gaping at Peeta like his actions is a bad thing I would never catch myself doing but that's not it, not at all.
When he finally releases Riker he looks over to Gale and his brows shoot up because he must have recognized him.
"Hey," he murmurs and smiles a little. "I know you, right? I met you that night I met…" his eyes look from each of us until they fall onto me and his smile widens into a grin and he finishes his sentence, "her."
My cheeks flush but I hope they're already red from the heat of the room and the pill and liquor that consumes me. Shifting my eyes around the room to focus on anything but Peeta is hard when he's standing before me right now.
"Hi," he speaks in a slow way like the boy he called Rye. "Katniss Everdeen, am I right?"
Nodding I look up to him and unconsciously pay all my attention to his eyes that are now the ones to be consuming me.
"And you're Peeta," my voice is low and my eyes shift down to my hands that are now clasping each another out of habit when I'm nervous, "Peeta Mellark."
Blinking a little bit to make sure this isn't a hallucination I find that he is really here, by my side, his hands playfully pulling at the hems of my shirt every now and then which I try to ignore.
We're once again a crowd that's drunk and laughing. Only thing is that I'm not laughing as much. Why? Well it's because I'm too self-conscience to really laugh aloud in front of Peeta because I know that when I'm in that state of euphoria and being kind of tipsy, I have a very careless laugh that sounds like a mixture between a snort and a bark.
I don't even know what time it is but when Gale wants to leave he tells me that the sun is out and so Madge follows, Johanna does, too. Finnick and Annie left a few hours ago because they're babysitter, still Mrs. Cresta, can't watch Dmitri for too long into the late hours because she has to work in the morning.
Rubbing the grogginess from my eyes I follow the three until the warmth of someone's fingers wrap over my hips. My stomach does flips and my eyes widen when I'm pressed up against someone's chest and I can only hope its Peeta trying to get me to follow him back home to feel something, anything.
"Katniss," I tense at the sound of my name rolling from his mouth. "Are you going to give up the games, babe?"
"No, I'm not." I mutter and attempt to free myself from his hold but he has me too close and too tight in his embrace so I only wriggle and grunt when I know I can't get out from this.
"Aw," he fakes compassion and leans down to kiss my bare shoulder. Detachment comes right away when he does. I feel nothing when his lips kiss their way up my neck until they're kissing around my ear. I let him, I let him kiss me and hold me and I let his hands wander my body because what am I to do? He's bigger, stronger and larger than I am. I can't stop him.
Shutting my eyes I start to think of things that make me forget what's really going on, but I can't. Not when I'm high and alert of every touch and kiss he places onto me.
"Hey," my eyes snap open at the sound of an angry voice and a fist comes flying my direction and I shut my eyes again, preparing for a sharp pain to come.
But it never does. I hear a few more punches and a few groans until I soft and small arms cover me and soothe me. I let them because these aren't his hands.
"Hey, Katniss, are you alright?" Madge whispers and Johanna hugs me close to her chest. I don't like affection but this is the only exception. No one is allowed to hug me unless it's because of this exact reason.
When I see Cato on the ground with his nose bleeding and his lip split with a cut, it doesn't bring me triumph but only sends me fear.
But that feeling was beaten with the shock I get when my eyes find that Peeta was leaning over him with bloody knuckles and the other hand clutching Cato's shirt. For a second I shriek, thinking that Cato was hurting Peeta but Gale blocks my view and pulls Peeta off of Cato.
"You'll fucking get it," Cato hissed and pointed his finger knowingly at Peeta, then to me with an expression I know all too well and he adds another threat meant for me, only me, "especially you, easy slut." I flinch when he calls me that and I look down to the floor out of two emotions: terror and mortification.
The club was still going on like nothing had happen besides the few that were nearby to witness what had happened. Something by Lady Gaga was playing and I wanted to cry but I only felt numb, like I always did after he had touched me.
"Catnip," Gale murmurs and cups my face in his hands like I'm a baby, a baby he needs to watch over. "Are you alright?" He asks me and I give him a very curt and very short nod.
Johanna and Madge still hold onto me, hugging me close to them and I felt Gale's hands smooth my hair down. Normally at this point Finnick would purposefully find a way for them to release me but he isn't around so they continue to treat me like I'm damaged. Though I wouldn't blame them, I feel damaged all over again.
From where I stand they usher me out but not before I meet Peeta's gaze with my own for a few seconds and in those few seconds I manage to mouth a thank you and he nods at me with pity in his light blue eyes. I don't like that. I don't like the pained look he gave me like I'm the crazy one. If anything then Cato is the one who's crazy, not me.
I know for sure that this is the last time I see Peeta because I'll never, ever, live this shame down.
I thought that I should just start updating on Saturday's and Monday's! Is that okay? I hope it is because Saturday's are easiest to remember and Monday's are just so boring that updating would just give me some entertainment. By the way, I thank you all so much for following and reviewing. Reviews are best because it just gives me more motivation. :)
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