The little calmness I could achieve only lasted for about two hours. My chaotic thoughts kept me restless and I couldn't stop thinking about it or keep myself distracted for very long. So after those two hours, I decided to go against Kaiji's orders as I judged it safe enough to go grocery shopping. It would be fine, the store was only a few streets away and it wasn't like I needed a lot.

Getting outside helped a bit but the bad feeling quickly got accompanied by the one of being watched. I walked quickly to the store, never really daring to look over my shoulder because I kept expecting someone to be there, as ridicules as that was.

I let out a sigh as I stopped on the sidewalk. I looked both ways as I intended to cross the road and accidently made eye contact with someone standing on the other side of the road. He looked older than me and he was smoking a cigarette while standing a little further down the sidewalk next to the store. It only lasted a second, the typical, random way of meeting a strangers eyes and then looking away as if you got caught doing something you weren't allowed. It always left me wondering why the other person had been looking at me in the first place, but then again, I was also looking at them.

Doing my best to look normal, I crossed the street and kept my eyes locked on the store's entrance. It was reassuring to be in a place with other people but without it being crowded and I could already feel myself getting relaxed. I grabbed a basket and tried to remember what I had decided to buy without getting distracted by anything else. Before I knew it, I had momentarily forgotten about the USB stick as I was discussing with myself which brand of coffee I should get while walking down the shelves. But my calm was really only momentarily as my phone started to ring.

''Hello?'' I answered without bothering to check the screen and continued to look down the shelves.

''Yeah hey, it's me.'' Kaiji hummed from the other end. ''I checked that document and pulled some favors from a guy I know at the police.''

''Police?''

''Yeah. This could be pretty serious so I'm coming over as quick as I can.''

''Just give me ten minutes and I'll be back.''

''Back? You left your apartment?''

''I just went to get some things.'' I hummed and tried to sound innocent while I turned around. I put the coffee down into the basket and was about to walk towards the checkout when I noticed something. The same man from outside was staring at me from the end of aisle but he adverted his eyes once I made eye contact with him. He quickly took a few a few steps and vanished from my view.

''I told you not to leave your apartment!'' He groaned annoyed but all I could think about was how that man had been staring at me.

''W-when you said this could be something serious, how serious did you mean?'' I swallowed and lowered my voice.

''Serious as in you should listen to what I say and not wander off! Why?''

''I… A man was staring at me outside and now he did it again inside the store.'' I mumbled and looked around, now feeling afraid.

''Where are you?''

''It's a convenience store a few streets away from my apartment. I'm pretty sure the street is called Kaigan.''

''Just stay there and I'll come get you.''

''Please don't hang up.'' I whispered without realizing it and felt some heat rise to my face when I heard myself.

''I won't. Keep talking to me.''

''I don't know what to say.'' I mumbled and looked around. ''I'm scared.'' I breathed and started to walk to the checkout.

''Just stay calm. I'm on my way.'' I could hear how his breathing had quickened and a car honked in the background. ''What did you buy?''

''Um…'' I looked down into the basket while starting to put the groceries on the conveyor belt. As I started naming everything, I looked up and tried to smile at the young cashier and tried to casually look over my shoulder when the next costumer walked up behind me.

It was him.

''Lena, keep talking to me.''

''Yes, sorry.'' I breathed as I looked back at the cashier once she began to scan the groceries. ''I'm-I'm paying now.'' I stuttered and started to look for my wallet.

I could feel my hands shaking.

''I'll be right outside when you're done.'' He huffed.

''Thanks.'' I managed to smile at the cashier and handed her the money but the smile vanished when she gave me the change. I didn't waste any time and quickly collected the few items. I tried to walk out in the most normal way I could but I knew I was walking unusually quick. I bit into my lip as soon as I saw him running towards me across the parking lot. ''Kaiji.'' I exhaled deeply and had never felt so relieved in my life, momentarily forgetting about everything else. ''You're here…'' I mumbled and stood still as his arms moved around me and I was pulled against his chest.

''Yes. It's fine now, everything is fine.'' He breathed against my ear, low and calm.

In that moment, I didn't even think about the fact that I was being held by him; all I could think about was his actual presence.

''Just get me home.'' I shook against his chest and closed my eyes.

''Of course.''

''So… what's all this about?'' I asked from my seat on the couch and looked up at him. The cup of coffee still warm in my hands despite it being untouched so far.

''You're being watched.''

''Watched…'' I repeated and looked down.

''Listen,'' He spoke as he sat down next to me but I kept looking down. ''I asked around and used a few favors in the police department. That list on the USB stick is far more important than I thought. It's not random names at all. They're all names of people who have something to do with a criminal group called Wolves.''

''So they're after me because I've seen that list?'' I laughed in disbelief but stopped once I saw his serious expression. ''Seriously? This sounds like the plot in some awful action movie.'' I raised my voice in disbelief and stood up from the couch.

''Sit back down.'' His hand grabbed my wrist and he gave it a soft yank. He let out a sigh when I finally did as he said and sat back down. ''I know what it sounds like, believe me, but you can't afford to be stubborn now.'' His voice was harsh but I knew he was right. ''The police are after them and as far as I was told, they're getting close. Subaru is already acting as bodyguard for a man who is on that list, just in case they get provoked to act.''

''What are you saying?''

''It's a hit list. All they know is that you've seen that list and that makes you an important factor in their operations. The package was in your mailbox by mistake but this group never leaves mistakes.''

''You're making it sound like they're going to…'' For some reason, I was back to laughing in denial and looked at him, waiting for him to say it was all a joke or a misunderstanding, but his expression never changed. ''… kill me.'' I swallowed and felt my face go pale.

''They will try.'' His voice was small now, maybe even a bit scared.

''What…'' I breathed soundlessly and stood up.

He didn't try to stop me this time.

''That man in the store… he was watching me…'' I mumbled as I walked towards the kitchen. ''Oh God, they know what I look like, where I live…. Where I…'' I swallowed hard and felt a pair of hands carefully touch my shoulders. ''What do I do?'' I quietly asked while slowly turning around, meeting his grey eyes.

''It's fine, I'll protect you.'' He hummed as he once again pulled me against him.

I didn't know what to say and closed my eyes. I knew he could feel how I was shaking in his arms.

Two days later, I stood on my guest room and watched as he threw the sports bag on the bed.

''You know, when you said that you would protect me, this really wasn't what I had in mind.'' I mumbled from the doorway.

''I can't protect you unless I'm at the same location as you are.''

''True… but-''

''Lena, I've already told you how serious this is.'' He sighed and looked over his shoulder. ''Besides, we basically lived together before you moved and it's only for a week.'' He smiled.

''Let me refresh your memory. We were teenagers that snuck inside each other's room, I doubt that counts as living together.'' I smiled back.

''I hated when we had to sleep at your place.'' He chuckled.

''You got real good at climbing that tree though.'' I laughed as I thought back to how he used to climb the tree outside my window to get inside whenever he spent the night. ''Hey remember when you fell down from it?''

He stopped unpacking and looked at me, his face faintly red. ''Of course. That was your fault.'' He grumbled and started unpacking again.

''My fault? You'd climbed that tree since we were kids and you still managed to fall as a fourteen year old.'' I snickered.

''Yeah well, don't tell a man something like that when he's climbing a tree.''

''I just told you that I was ready.''

''Precisely.'' He sighed and rolled his shoulders before turning around and looking at me. ''So, what now?''

''You can help me cook dinner.'' I smiled and shrugged.

''Sure. Let me just change first.''

I nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me. It was strange, suddenly having him in the next room. I took a deep breath before moving to the kitchen. I put my hair into a bun before starting to find what I needed from the refrigerator.

I heard the door open behind me and then footsteps followed, but I didn't react to his approach before he stood next to me. I looked up at him as he stood next to me and leaned against the top cabinets. He had switched from his usual suit to a pair of black jeans and a navy blue T-shirt. For a second, I simply stared at his defined arms and the way the T-shirt hugged his firm chest. Then I forced myself to look back down at my hands.

''So what are we making?''

''Stew.'' I smiled.

''Great.'' He smirked.

His presence was both calming me but it also reminded me of why he was here in the first place. I still had a hard time believing it, especially since there hadn't been anything strange since the episode with the man in the store. Everything had been normal but I felt strange, watched. As if I knew I had to be afraid and cautious, but then again, I didn't have any other proof for it.

Then again, I couldn't say I didn't like having him there. After two calm days, the way we functioned together was making me question everything again and I was back to my 'what if' thoughts. I had pushed most of them away during the past years, but now that we were pretty much living together, I couldn't stop myself from thinking those thoughts again.

It should have been like this. We should have been like this.

Preparing meals together, arguing over what we should watch during the evenings and joking around like I had never left. Maybe we could save it. Save us. But then again, all those memories that kept me warm at night were fifteen years old and those of a teenager. Things had changed between us but it was getting harder and harder to accept.

The nights were actually the worst part of it. I knew he was right in the next room, so goddamn close, but I couldn't go in there.

I swallowed as I turned in my bed, now lying on my back and staring at the ceiling. My right hand moved to my chest and I clutched the shirt I was wearing. Why couldn't I just continue to see him as an old friend? Everything would be so much easier and less hurtful. Then again, had I ever really just seen him anything else than the most important piece of me?

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, struggling with holding tears at bay.

Oh God, I just wanted him back.

I exhaled deeply and would have turned to my side if it wasn't for the sound of a door creaking. I caught my breath and sat up, a voice telling me maybe it was the man I had just been thinking about. But I was staring at nothing but darkness. I sat and stared at the closed door while my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, but there was still nothing there. I sighed and was about to lie back down when I heard the sound of creaking again.

That was when I remembered that my window made the same sound.

I turned around quickly, not knowing what to expect other than something unsettling.

The first thing I saw was the metal glistening in the pale moonlight, then a pair of eyes watching me.

I sat completely still as I stared at him. I knew I was supposed to scream or yell, but my mouth was utterly dry. His eyes were as black as his hair and his glance was deadest on me. I watched him take a step closer to me and I finally brought myself to move just a bit, pushing myself closer to the edge of the bed.

''It's a shame one of our guys messed up. If he hadn't, a pretty little thing like you would never have ended up in a mess like this.'' His voice was smooth and low, sending chills down my spine.

Scream.

I remembered to breathe once he spoke and this time nearly fell of the bed as he took another step.

''Well, that guy has been taken care off, all that's left…'' A small smile played on his lips now. ''Is you.''

Scream.

I swallowed loudly while blood pumped in my ears and my pulse was racing.

When he took another step, I finally opened my mouth and screamed his name as loud as I could. Everything next happened in a blur. The intruder sneered darkly and moved the few meters between me and him while I scrambled to get off the bed and out the room. I already knew I was too slow and somewhat just waited for the iron grip on my shoulder and then the following yank. I fell down, hard, and let out whimper while he leaned in over me, the knife looking grotesquely beautiful in the darkness. My wrist was grabbed and I noticed the feeling of leather touching my skin. The hold was used to turn me over and I met his cold eyes. I saw the way he was looking at me, as if I was nothing but an inconvenience to him and that I had to be dealt with. When he raised his knife, I quickly closed my eyes, not wanting to see what would happen next.

So I heard it instead.

I heard the door being thrown open while my name was yelled loudly, then almost instantly, a gunshot and the intruder groaning. I curled into a ball when the weight on top of me disappeared and listened to my own panicked breathing and then the scattered footsteps, Kaiji yelling and then strange sounds moving outside. I lay as still as I could while I felt my heart race against my ribcage and did not move before I could feel a pair of hands grab my shoulder.

I moved before I really knew it then, sitting up before throwing my arms around his neck. I clung to him in desperation while I felt my whole body starting to shake uncontrollably and the tears fell down my cheeks.

''Hey, hey, it's alright.'' He whispered and held me tightly against his chest. ''It's alright.''

Far out in the distance, I could hear the sirens approaching.

I sat on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me and a cup of coffee in my hands that had gone cold a while ago. My mouth was still dry and I stared straight ahead while listening to the loud chatter in the background. Kaiji was still talking to the police and despite not listening to the voices, I could hear from the tone he was using that he wasn't happy.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me and closed my eyes, trying to zone out the sound of them speaking and forgetting about those dark eyes watching me. I felt my lip quiver once they wouldn't leave my thoughts.

''Lena?''

I reluctantly looked up and met Kaiji's worried eyes.

''What?'' I asked hoarsely.

He let out a small sigh before sitting down beside me, carefully watching me.

''You should get some sleep.''

I blinked several times before looking at the door and noticed the lack of police.

''Come on.''

I looked back at him but my eyes shifted to my bedroom soon after.

''No.'' I murmured.

''Why not?''

''Because… I'm scared.'' I whispered and kept my eyes away from him.

He stayed silent for a short time but eventually, he let out a soft sigh. The next thing I knew, his hands moved beneath me and he picked me up without much trouble.

''Kaiji!'' I gasped once I realized what he was doing and looked up at him. ''What are you doing?''

''If you're too scared to sleep on your own, then you can sleep with me.'' He hummed, sounding embarrassed, and his cheeks got a bit of color. ''Your bedroom or mine?''

''You're calling it yours now?'' I somehow found a small smile.

''Just make up your mind and we can discuss that later.'' He smiled gently.

''Yours then. I hummed and leaned my head against his chest. ''You didn't have to carry me.''

''It's fine…''

I closed my eyes and stayed silent then.

He carried me inside his room and put me down on the bed as if I was a child. I looked up at him while he was still leaning in over me and I felt my heart skip a beat or two. He was so close I could feel his breath and I had to look down out of embarrassment.

''Thanks.'' I mumbled and moved beneath the blanket.

He let out a soft hum while he moved down beside me and I felt his warm presence. I let out a soft sigh and closed my eyes but I couldn't relax.

''Kaiji?''

''Yeah?''

''Could you do me a favor?''

''Of course.''

I swallowed as I couldn't say it and just moved instead. I moved up beside him, leaning my head down on his shoulder. ''Please let me stay like this.'' I whispered and then bit my lip.

''Anything for you.'' He whispered back and moved his arm around me, carefully pulling me closer to him.

It was what I needed to calm down and relax completely. It didn't take long before I knew I was dozing off but just before everything turned dark, I felt what I knew was a soft kiss on my temple and I let out a small sigh.

Maybe he knew how much I needed him.