''Lena…?''

''Hey…''

A hand grabbed my shoulder and I jumped out of surprise.

''It's alright, it's just me.'' Kaiji let go of my shoulder again with a small smile. ''You spaced out.''

''Oh…'' I murmured and blinked a couple of times and looked around. ''What's that…'' I mumbled while looking around and felt my face drop once I realized what that smell was. ''Oh no!'' I exclaimed loudly in panic and hurried to the stove. ''I burned the rice.'' I sighed and then started laughing. ''I can't even cook rice.''

''It's fine.''

''No, it's not.''

''Lena-''

''I can't even cook rice for crying out loud!'' I raised my voice and balled my hands into fists.

''It's rice, it's no big deal.'' I could hear he was trying to sound nice.

''Yes it is! I can't… I can't do this…'' I breathed quickly, unable to control myself and the upcoming outburst. ''I can't be calm about this and I can't relax! There was a man, who-who crawled inside my window because he wanted to kill me! That's what he said! He looked at me like I was a bug that he was about to step on! I had a knife against my fucking throat, so don't tell me that it's fine!'' I yelled in anger and threw the plastic spoon I was holding down in the floor. I looked away from him while huffing once I felt the wet trails of tears run down my face. ''I can't do this, Kaiji. I just can't…'' I sobbed and fell to my knees.

Kaiji caught me halfway down, but instead of stopping me, he followed me and sat down on his knees as well. ''Hey, hey…'' He breathed and looked at me with such a troubled and worried expression it nearly broke my heart in two. His hands moved to my face, softly framing it before he let his thumbs wipe away my tears, or at least tried to. ''I know it's not easy, trust me, but you're stronger than this.

''No-''

''Listen to me; I've known you all my life. I know that this isn't like you. You're stronger than this, Lena. Trust me and let me help you through this.'' His voice was almost shaking while he leaned closer to me, bringing his forehead against mine. ''Don't leave me again, let me protect you this time.'' He whispered and closed his eyes.

I felt my bottom lip quiver as he talked and I couldn't keep a sob back once he was done. ''Okay…'' I sobbed after a moment or two and then moved my face down to his shoulder. Why did he have to be so kind to me?

''Just cry.''

''Okay.'' I sobbed again and then let it all out.

I don't know how long we sat together on the floor but we sat there until I couldn't cry anymore and my voice had gone hoarse. My head was heavy and I could already feel my eyes starting to swell. It didn't make me feel any better that I knew that he was going to see me like this.

''You've calmed down?'' He asked with a soft smile.

I nodded faintly and we stood up from the floor.

''Wanna order some take-out instead?''

I nodded again and we started to discuss what to order. It was mostly Kaiji doing the talking but it calmed me to hear his voice and watch him frown as he couldn't decide what to get from the menu.

''Thanks…'' I mumbled and watched as he looked up from the menu.

''For what?''

''Doing all of this for me and what you said to me earlier. You're doing so much for me and I don't even know what to do or say to express how it makes me feel.''

''What you just said there makes up for it.'' He smiled and looked down again.

I exhaled softly and stayed silent while watching him.

He really was too good to me.

Some hours later, we were sitting on the couch, watching some action movie on TV and with the food and our wineglasses still on the table. I wasn't really watching the movie as I was far too busy with concentrating on the buzz left by the wine and the warmth Kaiji provided as I was snuggled up against him and the couch. I knew it was a mistake to be this close to him and it would only make my one sided situation worse, but I didn't care and I needed the comfort. I pulled the blanket tighter around me and let out a sigh while closing my eyes.

''Don't fall asleep on the couch. I'm not carrying you to bed again.'' He hummed while softly patting my head.

''I won't…'' I murmured and opened my eyes again to prevent lying to him.

''Hey…''

''Yeah?''

''Do you ever wonder how it would have been like?''

''You mean if I hadn't moved?''

''Yeah…''

''Of course I do.'' I turned around a bit so I could look up at him. ''Do you?''

''Well, yeah… I mean, it would have been pretty great.''

''Pretty great? Is that the best you can do?'' I chuckled and watched as his cheeks turned faintly red.

''Shut up.'' He softly groaned and I had to laugh faintly.

''I'm pretty sure it would have been more than just great.'' I laughed.

''Yeah?''

''We would probably have been married now and maybe even with a child or two.'' I hummed and had closed my eyes again.

''Probably…'' He hummed softly.

I lay still for a while as I played out the happy scenario in my head but my thoughts came to a stop when I remembered the dream from a couple nights ago. I sat up slowly before standing up and walking to my bedroom. I had to take a deep breath before opening the door and then carefully walking inside. While still clutching the blanket around me, I walked to my dresser and found the jewelry box. I brought it back into the living room with a smile and sat back down on the couch before starting to go through the box.

''What are you doing?''

''Searching.'' I mumbled while looking for the silver ring with a blue stone. Once I found it, my smile got a lot bigger. ''Here, look.'' I picked up the ring and showed it to him.

He recognized it almost instantly and the sweetest smile I had seen in a while appeared on his lips. ''You really kept this?''

''Of course I did… I wore it until it was too small.'' I smiled and watched as he simply looked at it, the smile still on his lips.

''Oh man…'' He whispered and turned the ring around. ''Your favorite color was blue and you never wore gold…'' He mumbled as if he was thinking out loud.

I chuckled faintly; he was so cute to watch. I lay down on the couch again as I continued to watch him with a soft smile. The mental image of him standing in a jewelry store and being confused made me close my eyes. Then, I wished that I had never moved.

''You're gonna fall asleep on the couch… aren't you?'' I heard him ask while a hand stroked my hair twice and I sighed softly.

''No…'' I murmured but I knew this time that I was lying.

He didn't say anything after that but the TV's volume was turned down before the channel was changed but I was too tired to make out the words. The only thing I did hear before falling asleep was Kaiji murmuring something low to himself but it was just loud enough for me to hear.

''You're going to be the death of me…''

His hand started stroking my hair again while I dozed off.

Sometime later, I was halfway between sleeping and awake, not sure what was a dream and what was reality. I recognized the familiar feeling of being carried and let out a soft sigh while shifting a bit in his arms so I could press my face against his chest.

''Don't shift around when I'm carrying you.'' It was just a whisper but I knew who the voice belonged to.

Once I was carefully placed on a bed, I opened my eyes when I felt the arms around me disappear. My hand searched for him in the darkness and I closed my eyes again when I found his hand with mine.

''Stay.'' I murmured and managed to pull his hand a little.

''Okay…'' He whispered.

I listened to him shift around, probably undressing, before he joined me in the bed. Without much thought, I rolled over to my side and leaned against him, exhaling calmly and deeply. His arm moved around me and pulled me closer to him, just like last time, and I listened to his steady breathing. It quickly turned heavy as he was probably just as tired as I was.

''Don't ever leave me...'' I whispered softly before falling asleep again.

The following morning, I woke up to the smell of something burning. I was completely awake within seconds and didn't think about anything else as I jumped out of bed and ran into the living room. Once I located the source, I stared it completely dumbstruck.

''Morning.''

''Morning… what are you doing?''

''Making breakfast… I accidently burned one of the pancakes''

I walked closer to him with a slight frown. I knew he had never been a great cook and he had proven that on several occasions whenever he tried to help with dinner, but he had managed to make something decent looking for once. While looking it over, I noticed something that made me smile and looked up at him.

''You're making me an English breakfast?''

''Well, I'm trying.'' He hummed, his face turning a little red. ''I mean, it's only eggs and bacon. The first pancakes got a little burned.'' He smiled embarrassed.

''Thank you.'' I smiled and looked up at him.

''It's nothing… really. I just thought you could use a pick me up…'' He mumbled and looked down, avoiding my eyes.

''No, it means a lot to me.'' I hummed and watched as he flipped a pancake. ''Hey, why don't we go do something today?''

''I really don't think the public is very safe right now.'' He grimaced shortly.

''Oh… okay.'' I tried to keep smiling and not sound disappointed but the way he looked at me told me that I hadn't done a very good job.

''Sorry.'' He breathed and put the last pancake on the plate with the others before looking at me. ''It would only make my job harder since we don't know how many there are or what they look like.''

''I understand. I'm just getting tired of sitting here and the bookstore has been closed since this mess started.'' I sighed but found a smile anyways.

This wasn't his fault after all so I had nothing to blame him for.

''Yeah, I know the feeling. I've missed practice twice now but I'm going to call my boss later and hear if there are any updates on the situation.'' He showed me a soft smile while taking the plate of pancakes to the table.

I followed him with my eyes as he left. He was wearing a black tank top, similar to the grey he usually slept in, and a pair of grey sweatpants. He looked ridiculously good in casual clothes, but then again, he looked pretty good in almost everything. I had trouble not letting my eyes swallow him up, especially his bulky arms and the way the tank top stuck to his skin. My cheeks went warm once I found myself biting my lip and I had to look away. Maybe my feelings for him were just a result of us being so close again and once all of this was over, they would be gone as well. Maybe I could go back to just thinking of him as a friend but then again, when had I ever thought of him like just a friend?

I let out a soft sigh and followed him to the table. I sat down and he began to serve the food with a proud look. I made me chuckle softly and he looked at me with a confused glance.

''What?''

''It's just… you look so goddamn proud right now.'' I chuckled and watched as he frowned.

''Hey, if you don't want any-''

''No no, I'm just teasing.'' I continued to chuckle when he grimaced at me before biting into a pancake.

I smiled as the warmth of his presence settled in my chest and started to eat. My teasing turned into complimenting him for making something edible, which then turned into me teasing him again. It went back and forth while we finished almost all of it.

While we ate, a small voice kept reminding me that this could be normal and all I had to do was ask him but I pushed it away, calling it nonsense and silencing it. I didn't need it to get worse. I didn't need my stomach to do flips whenever he smiled so sweetly at me and the current situation wasn't helping.

''Hey, I was thinking. Why don't we watch movies all day? I know it's boring to just sit here, so we might as well do something.'' He smiled.

''Yeah… that sounds great.'' I smiled back and our eyes met.

''Great. I'll call my boss and you can go and pick out some movies then.''

''Is there anything you want to watch?''

''I don't care, just don't pick any soppy chick flicks.'' He smiled as he stood up from the table.

I did the same and we started to clear the table.

''I'm pretty sure I don't own any of those. No, wait, I have Grease but that's it.'' I said as I put the plates down into the sink.

''Then it's all fine.''

I was about to walk into the office to find what movies we could watch when Kaiji's phone rang. We both looked at it in surprise but he hurried to it and picked it up.

''Yes?'' His voice was low, as if he didn't want me to hear. ''Seriously?''

I watched him get a grave expression on his face before he took a few steps away from me and then continued the conversation. It was then I knew it was something bad and stayed still. I watched his expression shift between anger, fear, annoyance and concentration.

''… Yeah, good, thanks.'' He sighed and hung up. His eyes remained in the screen for a while before he turned and looked at me again. I couldn't read the expression on his face but I knew the situation had probably just turned serious.

''What's wrong?'' I finally got myself to ask.

''Subaru's client was killed.''

''W-what…'' I swallowed hard.

''Apparently, the police has caught what they believe is the leader of the Wolves but they're not certain. But because of this, Subaru's client ended the contract despite Subaru advising him not to. It was a stupid call of him.'' He paused to rub his forehead. ''They found him dead this morning, killed in his own bedroom.''

My eyes widened as I reacted to the resemblance.

''That's… that's just like…'' I stopped and looked down, fear stopping me from speaking further.

''Hey, it's going to be alright.'' He tried to sound optimistic but it was halfhearted.

''I'm scared.'' I breathed and kept my glance down as he walked closer to me.

''You're allowed to be scared. This isn't a normal situation after all.'' He said calmly. When I didn't say anything, he let out a small sigh. ''I have something you need to wear until this is over.'' He spoke before walking to his room.

I followed him and watched as he started to dig around in his bag. He pulled out a small box and turned to me before opening it, presenting its content to me.

''A watch?''

''It's not a normal watch.'' He hummed as he took it out and gestured that I should lift my arm. ''There's a GPS tracker in it, a microphone and when you press this button, it sends me message on my phone.'' He spoke as he put it on my left wrist. Out of curiosity, I pressed the button. Seconds later, his phone beeped in his pocket.

''This feels like some gadget from a TV show.'' I mumbled as I studied it.

''It's standard equipment nowadays. I could have used your phone but in case something happens, we need a microphone as well, so this is a better call.''

I nodded faintly and kept studying the watch.

''Are you still scared?''

I looked up at him then and his grey eyes found mine. He was obviously concerned but he was also putting on a brave face, possibly because he knew how I would freak out if he was just as scared as me.

''Yeah…'' I mumbled and felt my pulse quicken slightly when his expression turned worried.

''Just trust me, okay? I can't protect you if you don't trust me.'' He smiled faintly.

''I trust you… you're the person I trust the most in the world but this is a whole other world to me. Someone's trying to… well, kill me, so it's putting me on edge because I don't know how to handle this. This constant fear.'' I was honest with him and my words made his expression calmer.

''I know it's hard but the police are closing in on them and then all of this will be over.'' His large hand patted my head softly, as if I was a child, and it soothed me.

''Yeah.'' I breathed and managed to find a small smile.

All of this would be over soon.

''Now, let's go find some movies, alright?'' He smiled, seeming pleased with my reaction.

I nodded with a small smile and for a while, I forgot about being scared.

We spent the day watching old movies and talking about our school days. It was nice, calming, and for once, I could spend mine time thinking about something else than the current mess I was in. I relished it the short time it lasted because each time a car come down the road, Kaiji would stiffen. I knew he tried to seem calm but it was obvious that he was on edge, just like me.

For the first time in a while, I had absolutely no idea what to do.

''What's with the frown?''

I looked at him as he sat next to me on the couch, his hair messy, wearing his grey sweatshirt and a pair of loose jeans. His eyes studied me as I studied him and I was the first to look away. My eyes fell down on the floor as I bit my lip softly.

''It's just… I wish I could do something.''

''The best you can do is stay here and follow my instructions.''

''I know… I know… I'm just restless and tired of being helpless. When that guy tried to… when he was there, I couldn't do anything besides scream for help. I don't like being a damsel in distress, helpless and scared because I know I can't do anything. I'm useless… I'm nothing but a burden.'' I looked up at him again

His expression was almost pained and he looked down, avoiding my eyes. It took him a few seconds before he exhaled and then looked at me again.

''You're not a burden to me, remember that…'' He sighed and looked up at me. ''I don't know what to tell you, I wish I knew, really, but I don't.'' He smiled bittersweet. ''All I can ask of you, is to trust me.''

''And I do, for god's sake Kaiji, you're the person I trust the most on this planet and the one I-'' I bit down on my tongue once I realized what I was about to say and stopped myself before I would blurt out my own secret. ''You know me better than anyone else and there's no one else I would want to have here now.'' I found a smile and watched as it seemed to calm him somewhat. ''I just… I don't know. I want to be less useless.'' I continued smiling softly and looked down.

''Hey, I have an idea.''

''What?'' I looked up at him again and was met by a warm smile.

''Why don't I train you?''

''Train me?''

''Yeah, just some self-defense moves.''

''You're serious?'' I smiled.

''Of course.''

''So, what, we just start tomorrow?'' I laughed.

''Sure.'' He grinned at me.

''Great.'' I laughed again before smiling at him.

We looked back at the TV then and changed the subject to the movie we were watching but hadn't paid much attention too yet.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.