Moments

I don't own any characters you may recognize

Chapter 28:

"This is disgusting" I muttered.

"I second that" Fred said next to me.

"Shut up and eat it already."

I glared at the dirty diaper in front of me. Nasty brownish black guck was filling out the diaper.

I closed my eyes and pinched off a piece, taking a bite.

"Dark chocolate and is that melted peanut butter?"

"Yeah, and roasted peanuts no wait there are cashews too" Fred added. We both looked to Rose.

"Yep they got it right."

Fred and I high fived. We've been kicking ass in these baby shower games all day.

"It looks like crap, but isn't that bad. You going to finish yours?"

No. This is like Ali's hormonal food all that is missing is a pickle.

I shook my head.

"Your turn."

"I think it's actually time for the next game. Rose?"

Rose went and got a huge box and pulled out a crying baby doll. Were those real tears?

"The next game is Diaper Change. Each crying baby has a dirty diaper, you have to change, wipe, powder and put on a new diaper. First one to do it all wins."

"Did that fake baby just move?" Fred asked.

"A real baby isn't going to just still" Mum said, "you used to pee on your dad everytime he tried to change your diaper."

"Count me out" Fred said.

"Are you a wuss?" Macey asked.

Fred looked highly affronted.

"Challenge accepted, little one."

"Oh no."

"Who are you calling little? Rose, baby me" she held out her hand waiting for a doll.

"I think Fred finally met his match" Lily stage whispered.

We were all given babies. Their diapers were heavier than the ones I ate chocolate out of, plus the dolls kept squirming.

"You aren't getting out of this, give the timer to mum" Ali told Rose.

Mum, grams, and some of my aunts were here. They weren't allowed to play this one since they already know how to change diapers.

We invited all of Ali's friends and my cousins. I didn't want to be the only bloke so I dragged Fred along.

"Ready? Set? Go!"

I ripped at the diaper.

"That's a baby, be gentle."

These things weren't easy to take off. Did someone use spell-o-tape?

"Merlin's arse, this is foul!" I heard Fred say.

"Poop doesn't smell like flowers."

I finally opened the diaper but then I had to cover my nose. What died in this diaper?

"Ugh," yellow liquid squirted out of the diaper and into my eyes. "What is this acid? It burns."

"Rose, be gentle, it's a baby."

"No one said these things puke!" Victorie exclaimed.

I turned to look, she had orange gunk trailing down her shirt. I started laughing.

"James your son is about to roll off the table pick him up before he falls and gets a concussion."

Oh, right. I went back to the doll. I tried to use the diaper wipes but most of the foul substance got all over my hand.

"Booyah!" Macey jumped up and down waving her baby like a trophy.

The veteran diaper changers did a check and it got their seal of approval.

"I beat you Fred, in yo face!"

Fred's eyes widened and he looked at me. I shook my head, it's always the quiet ones.

We played a few more games or rather most of us watched while Fred and Macey duke it out.

"Ha, now what, half-pint?"

"Who're you calling Half-pint, Gigolo Fred?"

"Whoa, hold up" Rose jumped in between them, "present time."

"Hold up. We're opening presents before eating cake?" I asked.

"This is a baby shower, not a birthday party, James. There is no cake."

"There is no cake?" I repeated.

"Your father made blueberry scones this morning there are probably still some left in the kitchen."

Mum didn't have to finish before I got up and rushed into the kitchen.

When I came back they had piled all of the presents into the sitting room. I handed Ali a glass of pumpkin juice and a scone.

"You two are too cute."

They went all out on the gifts. I wasn't expecting much, especially since most of our guest were seventeen and younger.

The adults got the big things like a pram and stroller. All of Ali's friends pinched in to buy like a thousand baby outfits. They called them unisex because we were keeping the sex a secret.

"Teddy made this by hand" Victorie said wheeling in a big white crib.

"Forget Unspeakable, tell him to become a carpenter" I said looking at the hand carved animals.

"Thank you" Ali rushed over to give Victorie a hug.

*JAMES & ALI*

"Now all you need is your own place" Fred said later that day when we went out for drinks.

"We got a place, kinda" I replied.

"What? What does kinda mean?"

"It doesn't officially go on the market for a couple of weeks but dad already haggled a price all we have to do is wait for the old bugger to move out."

"Remember when we talked about getting a bachelor's pad?"

"It seems like forever ago." I took a sip of my ale. "What's the deal with you and Macey? You gonna bed her?"

"She's hot, but she's not, my type."

I frowned. "Girl is your type. I saw the two of you. You want her."

"That is a relationship kind of girl, I want a lay. There's a difference."

"I know."

"Now Bethany Moss, that's one hot lay. She just got dumped too, so she'll be on the rebound." Fred rubbed his hands and I bursted out laughing.

"The best you can do is a bird on the rebound?"

Fred shrugged, "I won't have to work so hard. You always had birds throwing themselves at you."

"Birds throw themselves at you too" I pointed out.

Fred shook his head, "Those girls are teases who won't actually give up the goods until you sign your name on a relationship contract."

I laughed.

"So you got to go for the desperate and the lonely."

"Pretty much. Desperate and lonely makes horny."

Fred eventually ditched me for a muggle girl who got stood up on a blind date. I got this odd feeling that was going to be the last time we go out for drinks. It was kind of sad.

*JAMES & ALI*

"You sure you want to stay? If you stay they'll be no more late night loving, no more quickies in the shower."

Ali started laughing.

"We haven't had a quickie in the shower since I blew up like a whale."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't look like a whale. You're beautiful."

"I'm still staying here."

I pouted. "Who is going to rub your feet when you get tired of walking? Or massage your back after a long day?"

Ali shrugged, "There's another Mr. Potter in the house."

I growled. "Mum'll bat-boogey-hex you."

"I'm joking" she laughed.

"Okay, fine" I huffed, "what if I can't sleep without you. I'll become an insomniac and fail my NEWTs."

"You'll be fine. I'll be fine. It's only two and a half months."

"What if you go into labor and I miss the birth of our baby?"

"Not going to happen. The moment I feel my first contraction I'll own you. You've read the baby books, labor lasts for hours. It won't take you long to floo to St. Katherine's."

St. Katherine's is the maternity hospital. It's smaller than St. Mungo's. Most witches are old school and prefer to have their babies at home.

Most muggles opt to have their babies in the hospital, Ali said she'd feel more comfortable in a hospital and I agree with her.

Being in a hospital just seems safer.

"Is Hogwart's floo even connected to St. Katherine's?"

"Yes, the fireplace in McGonagall's office is connected. We went over this. I'll be fine, you'll be fine."

"James, Lily it's time to go!"

I cursed quietly.

"You better kick that habit before the baby is born."

I grinned. "I will. No don't get up. Stay in bed, relax. Take the rest of he pregnancy easy. I'll come back after the quidditch finals."

"After NEWTs."

I shook my head. "I can take my NEWTs at the ministry over the summer. They do it for people who are homeschooled or failed the first time."

"We'll talk about it when the time comes."

"I love you," I kissed her then moved lower to kiss her belly, "love you too. Look up baby names while I'm gone and owl me your favorites."

"That sounds fun. Accio baby name books."

Al stayed at school during the break so it was just me and Lily going back. I hates this, leaving her here.

It's just for a couple of months, I tell myself. We'll be back together before we even notice.