Hashirama glared at the surprised looking white-haired pervert before him as he stood protectively in front of Naruto. He, his brother, and his eternal rival had finally finished their talks with Hiruzen. It took them three whole days to hammer out all the details of their plan to take down that snake guy. Hashirama had honestly forgotten the snake dude's name since Hiruzen only mentioned it the one time and then refused to say it again.
"Ha-Hashirama-sama? You... you're alive?" The pervert asked, staring wide eyed at Hashirama. Hashirama glared.
"What have you been doing to Naruto-kun!" Hashirama shouted, making the pervert blink.
"Hashirama-sama, it's me, Jiraiya! Remember? The kid Tsunade-hime kept punching out?" Hashirama raised a brow, and thought back through the years. After a few moments of silence, Hashirama started snickering.
"Oh man, I forgot that you were whipped! By my granddaughter no less!" Jiraiya flushed and looked away as Hashirama began laughing. Naruto, who had been silent up until now, piped up,
"What's does being whipped mean? Shikamaru said I was whipped when I told him about Sakura-chan's hitting me!" Hashirama's laughter slowly died off. He wiped his eyes and turned to Naruto.
"Well Naruto-kun, to be whipped means that your woman is in control of your life." Hashirama tried to think of a way to continue explaining.
"It basically means," A familiar deep voice said with a chuckle. "that you suck and fail at relationships." Hashirama turned and spotted Madara leaning against the building opposite of them, a large smirk on his face. Sasuke was next to him, deep in thought about something or another.
"Madara! Where'd you come from?" Hashirama asked, ignoring Jiraiya's sputtering at the revived Uchiha. Madara gave a noncommittal shrug and gestured to Sasuke.
"Sasuke-kun here needed enlightenment." Madara immediately turned to Naruto and shushed him, as the blond was about to ask him what enlightenment meant. "Enlightenment, Naruto, means that I just told him a bunch of shit you don't need to know, and that I give you permission to pester Hashirama for new jutsu." Naruto cheered, and launched himself at the First Hokage.
"Hashirama-jii! Teach me a new jutsu! Please?" Naruto attempted to make the same face he made to Madara during the prelims. Hashirama desperately tried to look anywhere but the pouting blond, but was unsuccessful when Naruto shouted, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" and he was surrounded by cutely pouting blonds.
"Alright, alright! Naruto-kun! I'll teach you a jutsu but please, knock it off!" Naruto cheered once again.
"YAY! What're ya' gonna teach me Hashirama-jii? Ne, ne, is it something super-duper cool?" As Naruto jabbered his ear off, Hashirama lead him away from Madara, Sasuke, and Jiraiya. Madara chuckled darkly.
"Mwahahaha... revenge is the best." Madara looked at Sasuke, who was staring at him. "Now Sasuke-kun, I promised to teach you all about revenge, didn't I?" Sasuke nodded, looking almost like a depressed puppy. "Well, it starts like this..." Madara proceeded to tell Sasuke all about getting revenge as the two Uchiha walked off into the sunset. Jiraiya was left all alone, his mind brought to a halt at the two revived shinobi. 'One more surprise,' He thought, turning on the spot. 'like that, and I think I'll need a drink...'
"Ne, Tobirama-sama, isn't that Jiraiya of the Sannin?" Jiraiya heard a young girl call out. The revived Second Hokage and some pink haired kid entered his field of vision. He groaned and rubbed his temples, before heading towards the closest bar. Yes, he definitely needed a drink.
A/N: On an unrelated note, my newest crack!fic, We're Related, I Swear!, has been published!
On a related note, So an Uzumaki Delves Into a Scroll is probably not going to continue on for much longer. Maybe 20 more chapters. There's not much in Shippuden I plan to do aside from the many Akatsuki battles. I'll probably end the story off with a final showdown (which will be far more hilarious than necessary) with Tobito.