Please review. :)
Time for angst, Kaito's been getting it too easy.
Kaito: D: How the heck do you figure that?! Master! DX
My bgm is "Heart ni Kiraboshi" by Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugi, "Ten Sho Sho Ten Sho" by Kaito, and "Fuck You" by Lily Allen, yay
...
Gakupo hung up the phone with an unhappy sigh. Kaito was standing close to him, and Gakupo met his eyes with a frown. "Sorry, Kaito, there's still no word yet."
Kaito looked down, depression on his face. Gakupo put his hand on the bluenette's shoulder for a moment, then dropped it, and walked into the kitchen. It was almost dinnertime, and as much as the bluenette claimed he had no appetite, Gakupo knew he needed to eat anyways.
There was nothing more Gakupo could do than Mikuo and Taito were already doing, in the effort to find Rin. As much as it shamed him to do so, there was really nothing more he could contribute to the effort. To their credit, the pair of Vocaloid males were keeping in constant contact with Gakupo and Kaito. If any developments occurred, Gakupo had no doubt that they would be informed as quickly as possible.
Gakupo put a frying pan on the stove, and busied himself around the kitchen. It had been a few days since Kaito had come to stay at the violette's Master's house. They were getting into a routine of meals, sleeping schedules, and distractions. Kaito was coping extremely well, Gakupo thought.
With the exception of his nightmares, and the random times when Kaito started to shake or cry for no apparent reason. Gakupo remembered Taito's advice, and his actions, when those times came, and just sat or stood with Kaito, holding him in a quiet embrace, and trying to think of calming things to say that didn't sound too inane or stupid.
'Like "It's okay,"' Gakupo thought to himself, feeling angry. He cognitively knew that he was doing all he could think of to help Kaito's recovery, from dressing changes, to helping the bluenette to the toilet, to showering with Kaito and washing his body. Not to mention helping him eat the food that Kaito constantly tried to refuse, and helping Kaito sip water from glasses that Gakupo had to hold up against his lips.
Gakupo's mind wandered to the second night Kaito had spent in Gakupo's Master's bed. The bluenette had woken, screaming and flailing, falling out of bed and shrieking holy hell as he bashed his arm stubs against the floor. It had begun a new bleed from the ends of one of Kaito's arms, and was a traumatic experience for Gakupo, who had to hold the bluenette bodily while applying pressure to the newly opened wound where a couple of the tiny, neat, even stitches had torn through the flesh.
Holding Kaito, who continued to scream, scream, and scream, until his voice was hoarse, as Gakupo held him still. Screamed for his Master to stop, screamed that it hurt. Gakupo's eyes clouded at the memory. Kaito had eventually calmed down, his body suddenly relaxing in Gakupo's arms in a way that startled the violette almost as badly as the sound of the first scream and bodily thump that had occurred when Kaito had fallen to the floor.
Gakupo had sat there, cradling Kaito's limp body, his own purple eyes very wide, for a long, long time, before he even tried to get the bluenette back into the bed.
But there were good things, too, encouraging things. Like when Kaito's eyes raised and paid attention to a TV program, instead of staring off into space with a blank, but stressed-out expression, probably reliving his trauma in some way, shape, or form. And when Kaito finally came to Gakupo to tell him, "I'm thirsty," to ask for a drink that wasn't forced on him. That had happened only this morning.
Gakupo didn't mind caring for the bluenette. In a way, he felt like Kaito had become an extension of him. He wasn't sure what would happen to Kaito in the future, especially once Gakupo's own Master got home, but he couldn't see his Master kicking the injured bluenette out of their house.
Gakupo tried to remember what it was like living here by himself, while Master was gone on his long trips. He couldn't remember. Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like Kaito was part of his family now. He couldn't imagine things without the blue-haired male being a part of his daily life anymore.
The smell of sizzling pork brought Gakupo back to the present, and he flipped the meat over on its side, adding a little more seasoning. He grabbed for the vegetables, to get them started, when his ears picked up the sound of sobbing from the other room. Gakupo frowned, his heart aching, and he turned off the heat on the still-cooking meat.
Gakupo left the kitchen to investigate. Kaito was on the floor, sprawled legs awkwardly pulled up next to his chest, his bandaged arms trying to cover his face without touching it. He was curled up in on himself and sobbing helplessly like a child.
Gakupo quietly knelt next to the bluenette, touching his shoulder to alert Kaito to Gakupo's presence, before wrapping his arms around Kaito and pulling him close in a hug. "What happened?" Gakupo asked, though he knew there didn't really have to be a reason.
"The-the smell," Kaito sobbed out, "It's my hands, it's my hands, please... please, no." It was hard to follow what Kaito was saying, and Gakupo frowned, trying to figure it out.
"What do you mean? It's okay if you can't explain it," Gakupo offered up, hoping to console the blue-haired man without pressuring him.
"The smell, the smell, it's the same. Master's going to make me eat, please, please, please..." The bluenette seemed to get stuck, broken record, at "please." Gakupo's blood chilled in his veins.
He released Kaito from his comforting grip, and Kaito hunched over even further, the loss of the strength and warmth ruining his efforts to regain himself. He gasped through his tears, trying to get panic breaths into lungs that didn't want to work properly.
Gakupo ran to the kitchen, slammed open the freezer, irregardless to what frozen things were in his way, and shoved the scalding frying pan with the cooking pork into the cooling appliance, closing the door forcefully. He slapped the fan on and looked around with almost panicked eyes for anything that would have a strong odor.
Gakupo's wide violet eyes took in the spice rack, and he grabbed another pan, dumping in all of the cinnamon, rosemary, cloves, and nutmeg that touched against his hands, adding a water frantically from the sink, and slamming the pot onto the burner, turning the heat to high.
Gakupo left the fragrant pot unattended and sprinted back to Kaito's side, falling onto his knees to pull the bluenette back into his panicked embrace, holding a little too tightly, but not realizing it. Gakupo's heart was jackhammering.
Kaito's body shook, sobbed terribly, pressed hopelessly against Gakupo's chest and shoulders. Kaito wrapped his arms around Gakupo's neck as he continued to cry in shuddering, wracking sobs, the ends of his arm stubs up in the air behind Gakupo's neck.
Gakupo's heart was breaking with the bluenette's actions, and he was even further shocked and startled when Kaito suddenly pulled his arms back away from Gakupo, and started screaming, hitting at Gakupo's front with what was left of his arms. Shrieking in pain from the hitting, and hitting again, sobbing, sobbing, like an insane person would.
Gakupo grabbed Kaito firmly by the shoulders and forced him back into the hug, not giving Kaito enough room to hit against his chest anymore. Kaito screamed, screamed in rage and fear, struggling, but he was no match for the violette. Gakupo had Kaito's slim, malnourished body beat in pure muscular strength.
"I'm here," Gakupo said, again and again, trying to make his voice calm, which was a feeling he definitely didn't have himself, at the moment. "I'm here. I'm here. Kaito. I'm right here."
Kaito's screams turned backed into tortured sobs, and he stopped struggling his head away, leaning it back hard into Gakupo's collarbone as he cried.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Kaito. I'm sorry. I'm right here. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm right here," Gakupo said again, again, for what seemed like an endless amount of time, and simply held onto the blue-haired Vocaloid male with most of his strength, terrified that Kaito was going to start screaming and flailing again. But the sound of Kaito's broken, damaged, muffled sobs was almost worse than the screams. "I'm here."
Gakupo felt helpless to do anything but hold on and pray that something would change.