Chapter 4 - BPOV

Sitting in this hotel room makes me feel antsy. I feel like a sitting duck, just waiting for James to attack. Edward assures me that he won't find me here and that even if he does, he knows people. I don't even know what that means. I don't even know if I want to know what that means.

All I know is that as ridiculous as it sounds, because I was only with him for a night, I miss Edward. And the more I talk to him over the phone, the more I miss him. Maybe it's because all I have to do every day is sit around and think about him and this fucked up mess we're in, and how it's all my fault.

If anything, and I mean anything, happens to Edward, I'll never forgive myself. Someone as good as him should never be wrapped up in a mess like this. He claims that I'm doing him a favor by staying here, by accepting his help, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like I'm putting him unnecessarily in harm's way. And it's killing me.

This is my life, my battle, not his. He shouldn't have to change anything for me.

I can't say I regret approaching him that night, though, or being with him. I meant it when I said it was the single best night of my life. It changed me. It's hard to put into words how, but it did. Something inside me ignited that night— a desperate need to be rid of that lifestyle and James and to get far away from the things he forced me to do. That night, I decided that it would be the last time I helped him. I never saw a dime of anything I stole anyway, and when I really think about James and his track record, I realize that I never would have.

I'll be nineteen in two weeks. I'm an adult. The things James and I were doing were against the law, and I don't want to end up like my father. I don't want to spend my life locked up behind bars. I want to live. I want to be free. So even though it feels crappy sometimes, I'm going to let Edward help me because I don't know any other way out. I can't fight James on my own. Sure, I could go to the police, but knowing James, he'd go into hiding, and then I'd spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come after me.

Edward seems to think there's a way we can take him down without drawing a lot of attention to the situation. Edward's biggest concern is that if the police were to get involved, that I might be implicated. He doesn't want me paying for James' sins, even though his sins are my sins. I technically deserve to pay, too. The guilt has really been riding heavy on me lately. I can't shake it. Sometimes, I feel like taking the first bus back to Dallas and going straight to the police—confessing, telling them everything, and letting the cards fall where they may.

I said that the other night to Edward over the phone, and he flipped out. He told me it's not my fault and that I never would've been in this situation if it wasn't for James. I know he's right. I know I never would've done the things I've done if it hadn't been for him. I was alone and left to fend for myself, and as fucked up as it is, James was all I had. Until now.

Edward says he thinks the lady James was with the night of the gala is helping him in some way. She just so happens to be friends with Edward's cousin, Jane. Edward thinks she's trying to get on the inside and find out information about my whereabouts. But Edward is smarter than that. And I don't know why, but I trust him.

Unlike James, he's given me no reason not to.

I've been in Phoenix for two weeks. I planned on having a job by now, but Edward made me promise to only leave the hotel when it was daylight. He'd prefer that I not leave the premises at all, but he knows I can't stay here 24/7. I'm going stir crazy as it is. If I never saw the light of day, I'd probably be drinking myself into oblivion with the tiny bottles in the mini bar. I'm not a drinker, but a girl can only take so much.

Yesterday, I took a car that Edward had arranged for me and went to the mall for a few hours. I didn't buy anything. I just got out of this place and stretched my legs. I have the few clothes I bought, and I've been using the laundry service at the hotel. Edward took over my room charges the day I came back here from the Comfort Inn.

Even though I didn't want to.

Even though I wanted to do things on my own.

~C22~

"Bella?" Edward's voice on the other end of the line sounds nervous, maybe panicked even.

"Yes?" I ask, scared of what he's going to say. He never calls me during the day, so the fact that it's only a little past noon and Edward is calling me and sounding like he does, has me on edge.

"I need you to stay in your hotel room. Don't leave. Okay?"

"You're scaring me."

"Good," he says with a bite to his tone.

I pause for a moment, not sure how to respond to him. He's never been like this before.

Maybe he's angry with me?

Maybe he's tired of dealing with all my shit?

"I'm sorry." I can hear the remorse in his voice and the deep breath he exhales.

God, I miss him.

"Listen," he says when I keep quiet. "Things with James are coming to a head. He knows we're on to him. He also knows where you are. So I want you to stay in that room if at all possible. Don't answer it unless you call for room service, and even then, be on guard." He pauses for a second. "Better yet, call me first. Keep me on the line."

"I don't want to interrupt your life like that. This is all too much. I think I should just take a bus back to Dallas and face James head on. What's the worst that could happen?" I begin to ramble. It's what I do when I'm nervous.

"No!" Edward's voice is loud and demanding. He really does sound angry now. "Bella, please," he begs. "You're not going anywhere. We're going to catch this asshole, and then you can come back… when it's safe."

"And then what?"

"Whatever you want."

I want you.

"College, a job… whatever you want. I'll help you make it happen," he continues. "Just a few more days at the most, and this will all be over. Well, at least the part where you have to be in hiding. You know you'll have to testify against him, right?"

"Yeah." I do know that. I'm prepared to do that. Whatever I have to do to put James away and get my life back, I'll do it.

"I'll be with you. Every step of the way," he says. Before I can argue with him, he adds, "And don't say I don't have to, because I know that. I want to."

"What if I want to be with you when all of this is over?"

"That can be arranged." His voice is deep and gruff, but there's a hint of softness now that wasn't there before. "I told you, Bella. Whatever you want."

A/N:

As always, a big THANK YOU to our beta, GeekChic12! And to Rachel (J Ray Fanfiction) and Pamela (DrivingEdward) for their awesome pre-reading skills!

I know this was short chapter, but there will be another up tomorrow morning! See ya then!