It was late in the afternoon when Xemnas came home to the castle with all the groceries. He carefully placed everything where it was supposed to go, and checked off the items from the list when he was done. He was going to make sure that Xigbar could no longer come in and have a late night snack. He stood up and looked behind him. He was sure that someone had just tapped him on the shoulder, but there was no one there. Xemnas shrugged off the feeling and returned to putting the groceries away.
It was not till he reached the frozen foods did he realizes that the fourteen gallons of ice cream that he had bought were now gone. He looked around through all the bags and cabinets thinking that he had accidently misplaced them, but with no luck. "I cannot have left them at the store…" He looked at the hundred or so bags he had left and shrugged. "I'll just go back when I'm done."
Xigbar carefully walked through the hallway and passed a hanging light as he crept to the kitchen. This time he was going to be successful in his mission, not to be caught. He looked into the kitchen, and everything was upside down, but there was no soul in the room. He grinned and dropped down to the floor. Xemnas thought that it would be funny to replace the normal toaster with a free range one during the night so that it would attack anyone who went into the kitchen. But that was no longer going to work because he had passed the toaster off to Vexen that afternoon, and Mr. Freeze was currently running it through a series of tests to see how it worked.
He moved through the kitchen with supreme ease, and found himself at the freezer. There was a small noise, like a glass bottle rolling across the floor. Xigbar jumped and landed on the ceiling and crouched down, his eye narrowing.
Zexion came creeping into the kitchen. He obviously was trying to pull something off. Xigbar reached into his black pajama pants and pulled out a round object. "Smell this." He hissed evilly. He through the object at the ground. It exploded silently into smoke, and Zexion coughed and fled the room. "Vexen you do know how to make some great things, I'll give you that much dude." Xigbar said as he hit the ground gently.
Now with no more distractions he would be able to get into the freezer. He placed his hand in the handle and checked the room once again. He had the strange feeling as if he was being watched by something. He turned his attention to the freezer and opened it up. To his horror there was no ice cream there. "What?!" he yelled not bothering to keep his voice down. "There's no ice cream?!" Something smashed to the floor and he whipped around.
A lone package of Sea-salt ice cream slide across the floor. He looked around, but from the dim light there was no one there. He reached down for the bright blue box, but it moved back. Xigbar froze, something was definitely wrong with this picture. Isn't this how idiots were lured to their death? Or how Demyx was almost eaten by the toaster because it had his turtle? He walked forward to get it again, but it moved back once more. This was it, he would not be lured to his death by ice cream, even though it was the best.
Xigbar watched the ice cream box be dragged into the shadows. "ATTACK!" Something yelled. Xigbar fled from the kitchen as fast as he could. If this was a trick he would shot whoever was involved. Something tripped him and he fell face forward through a wall. He hit the floor in the room.
"HOLY CRAP!" Demyx yelled and he sprang from his bed. "THE TOASTERS ARE BACK!"
"Hey little dude it's me!" Demyx stopped yelling and looked down at Xigbar.
"Oh hi Xiggy…What are you doing in my room?"
"It's not like I wanted to be here. I was running down the hall and something tripped me."
"Was it you yelling before? I heard someone scream help."
"Why would I scream help… I yelled that there was no ice cream."
"No it was definitely someone yelling help." They looked at each other. Something banged on the door, and they both jumped. They could hear many voices in the hall as the banging continued. "There after me now!" Demyx yelled as he hugged his turtle Fred even more tightly. The door was broke open. Xigbar grabbed Demyx by his blue fish shirt and dragged him through the portal he had conjured.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Demyx screamed.
"You can stop yelling now dude." Xigbar said as he patted Demyx on the shoulder. "There isn't a man alive that can get to us now." He said waving to the large room that they were in. Demyx looked around at the many doors and stairways that crisscrossed and filled the room.
"How are we going to get out of here?"
"Easy." Xigbar said. "It's my room so it's easy to navigate." There was a bang on one of the doors and the voices could be heard. "Oh no you don't," Xigbar laughed. He snapped his fingers and his guns appeared in his hands. The door was broke open, but there was nothing to shoot at. Xigbar lowered his guns and frowned. They could hear the voices, but see nothing.
"Hey I didn't know you like broccoli." Demyx said as he picked up a large piece.
"I don't like broccoli." He said snatching the green thing out of Demyx's hands.
"PUT ME DOWN OR I WILL EAT YOU ALL!" Xigbar and Demyx stared at the little creature.
"I think we need to see Vexen." Demyx said as he hugged his turtle.
"Finally the tests are almost complete. With this toasters DNA I can create an army of clones that will obey my every word!" Vexen pulled down his glasses and grabbed the switch. Suddenly all the machines shut off. "NOOOOO! ALL THE DATA! IT IS GONE!" He sank to his knees in a sobbing fit.
"Dude you can rerun the tests and we kind of have a more deadly problem." Vexen turned to Xigbar.
"HOW DARE YOU COME IN AND…" Xigbar grabbed Vexen by the neck of his cloak and held him off the ground.
"I dare you to finish your sentence number four." He said in a deadly voice.
"Xiggy stop! It's biting me!" Demyx yelled and he flung the creature into the wall. Xigbar dropped Vexen and dived at the ground, and caught the fleeing creature. Demyx sucked on his wounded finger and looked at Vexen.
"Here, run tests on this." Xigbar said, and he shoved the Broccoli creature into Vexen's hands.
"Incredible, this creature is made of Broccoli!"
"Thank you captain obvious." Xigbar muttered.
"Let me just…" Vexen began, but the toaster suddenly jumped off the table and bit the hand that Vexen was holding the Broccoli creature. It let go as quick as it had attacked and chewed the creature, swallowed then burped. The three people watched in astonishment as the toaster walked in circles laid down and began to take a nap. "No wonder why they were dying off!" Vexen said sounding as if it was his birthday and he had just got the state of the art dissecting robot. "This is what they eat along with all the bread!" He grabbed a note book from under a stack, which spilled all over the floor, and he began to write the amassing discovery down.
"Yeah, anyways there are more of these things up stairs and it will only be a matter of time before they get down here." Xigbar said. "So the toasters eat them…Can we have all the left over toasters if you haven't killed them?" Vexen nodded and pointed to a door on the other side of the room.
"Don't touch anything!" He said as Xigbar and Demyx made their way to the door.
"He's creepy."
"I agree little dude." Xigbar said as he opened the door.
"THEY NEED TO BE ON THEIR LEASHES!" Vexen yelled to them.
"Great." Xigbar said savagely.
"I didn't think that they would be this calm." Demyx said and he fixed the ten or so ropes in both his hands.
"They like your turtle and since that one is the Alpha…Leader they will follow that one." Vexen said as he followed Demyx. Xigbar was in the front. He was leading the head toaster and a toaster oven. Apparently Vexen had created the toaster ovens as the protectors of the herds.
"Free range toasters and a toaster oven. This is frigen' ridicules." He muttered under his breath as the lead toaster (Alpha) stopped to sniff at the ground. It made a hissing noise and then made a clinking noise which was followed by a mass of clicking from the other toasters.
"I think they smell the creatures." Vexen said as Xigbar was dragged around the corner.
The toasters lead them to the main room, the room where everyone hung out to play games or watch TV or do whatever they wanted to do. The toasters growled as the group of three looked into the room. All the other members excluding Xemnas were tied up and placed on the couch, and were being lectured by a larger of the Broccoli creatures.
"Do not fear the Evil Broccoli alliances. They will be very helpful in this operation. You see our former enemies created unstoppable creatures to try to defeat us. But those creatures were lost, and we killed all of the remaining of them." He paced pass the couch and looked at the members. "We have yet to get three of you, but we are expecting them soon."
Xigbar looked at Vexen. Then at the toasters. Vexen smiled in his creepy way, and they let the toasters off their leashes.
It was a massive attack of burning toast as the toasters charged at the Broccoli people. Demyx, Xigbar and Vexen quickly ran into the room, to help their fellow members. "Hey Xigbar, it's about time that you guys joined us." Xaldin said as Xigbar untied his hands.
"Sorry dudes we got attacked and then we found out that our toaster buddies like these creatures."
"FRED NO!" Demyx yelled as one of the Broccoli creatures picked up his turtle and ran. Alpha (the toaster) turned and steam rose from his back. He charged through the mass of Broccoli creatures and slashed it down to size and picked up Fred with his tail. He made a sound like a bell, and all the toasters echoed. The broccoli creatures tried to flee, but more toasters were coming from the darkness and devouring the creatures.
"I honestly don't know what to say." Saix said.
Something hit Roxas in the side of the head and he swore. "What the hell…" They looked up as the Broccoli creatures began to throw ice cream at the toasters, which they did not seem to like at all.
The doors banged open and everything stopped. "I'M GONE FOR AN HOUR AND YOU GUYS HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED HALF THE CASTLE!" Xemnas stopped shouting and looked at the toasters that were continuing their attack. "What the hell?"
Demyx sat on the couch patting Alpha who had Fred in his clawed hands. He growled happily as Demyx scratched his side. "I'm still not sure what happed here." Xaldin told Xigbar.
"I don't think that we can let anyone who's name is Mansex do the shopping." Xigbar said before he drank what was left of his coffee. "This is the second time that something bad has happened when he went shopping."
Larxene was busy sweeping up what was left of the broccoli creatures. She was muttering something under her breath as she did this. "Interrupting Marly and me…" She looked up at Xigbar and Xaldin.
Xemnas watched the toasters run wild and destroy the piles that Larxene had created. "Damn toasters." He muttered.
Veroxen: Sup guys. I thought that I should add to this story a bit, also I had no choice because some friends kept bugging me about adding something. I got this idea from my friend Joe one day when our calculus class was over (about a month ago) he was writing random things on the board one included "Do not fear Evil Broccoli alliances" I thought that it was cute. Not surprising since the guys wants to live in a tent in Mongolia and take over the world.
Oh yes I do not own Kingdom Hearts Although I own all the games that have come out. The only thing I do own is the Toasters so beware.
EXTRA NOTE: Wow this is old and somehow dissapeared and I was asked to repost the chapters. Haven't edited them nor read them in almost 5 years O.O i'll be back eventually to rewrite it and such when I find the time.