Author's Note:

I've been having to do a lot of research for these next few chapters, just to make sure I have things even near remotely right to go along with the story. I don't have internet right now, so I'm having to look it up by mobile and then type it up on my computer. Now that takes patience. Thank you for the reviews! And be sure to review again!

Chapter Four

Bad things tended to happen when he and Zed tried to bump uglies. They'd accomplished the deed once before, but not without a lot of trouble to go along with it. What with the sex demon and all. Maybe that was a sign that he really should keep his hands to himself, or at least off Zed. Everything he touched, he tainted with the evil that followed him like a damned bloody lost puppy.

Cock completely deflated by the vision that had cut through their lust like a knife, he crouched in front of her.

"Hey." John said, gripping her shoulders. "Look at me."

He'd thought that part of her past was all over and done with. Good job on his part. Maybe he should have killed her sorry excuse for a father. He'd had a rough childhood but somehow he doubted his was anything like Zed's. She'd had to run from her father her entire life. Sure, he'd been cigarette burned, kicked, punched and cursed at, but Zed was wanted for occult purposes. Something about ruling the world.

Zed looked up and John swore silently at the sullen look in her eyes. That silent fear was back, something he'd thought permnamently gone. She could face all kinds of evil spirits and demons without blinking an eye and the visions that nearly ripped her conscious apart, but she was terrified of a single man.

"We finished this. Whatever little plot they'd envisioned, we stopped that jackpot, luv. Are you sure you didn't see something else?"

Her hands were up, covering her face before he could stop her in what he knew was a self defense mechanism. The vision had been blunt. There were no shadows. Everything had been clear and she had recognized the voices all too easily. How could she have thought that she would ever be free?

She dropped her hands, staring up at the blonde haired demonologist and excorcist. "Maybe I should just let him take me." She said sourly. She'd been running all her life. At least she wouldn't always be looking over her shoulder then. She'd finally started to feel a sense of freedom again and her world had suddenly come crashing down on her shoulders all in a matter of seconds. And then her visions would be used for the not so greater good and she'd give birth to the new Messiah.

She lifted her hands but Constantine wrapped his fingers around her wrists, stopping her. "I won't let him. Not even if you wanted to go." That would tear her soul apart and he knew the sensation all too well. It wasn't one he'd willingly let her walk into.

"I should have known." Zed said softly. "It was too good to be true."

"Stop it." John said, pulling her to her feet. As much as he wanted to dismiss the vision, he knew her visions were a warning. Her visions had never been wrong, persay, they could be changed. But they were never wrong.

He needed to find out why Zed was the sudden origin of their interests again. He could put a stop to it once and for all. He was finding himself more and more overly protective of the chit.

He needed a cigarette.

Zed stood and tugged at her shirt to pull it back down over her abdomen. Her stomach was twisted in knots, her mind still reeling from the vision.

"Stop it." John said again, seeing the look on her face. "You forget, I'm John Constantine, Master of the Dark Arts."

She felt a small smile tugging at her lips at his remark, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Petty dabbler, you mean?"

"When he comes, we'll be ready. We've got a headstart." Thanks to those head pounding, horrific visions of hers. "We'll finish this once and for all."

And that was what she was afraid of. Who was going to be finished?

"Well, this isn't awkward." John said ironically and Zed looked up. He'd put his belt back on but he was holding both ends. His pants gaped open and the zipper was only halfway up because it wouldn't stay up. The button fastening was missing. He fastened the belt but without the button, the zipper dipped down.

"Looks like I left my fly down."

Zed bit her lip. How did he manage to find humor in the worst of situations? "Untuck your shirt."

He did as she instructed and it covered the minor imperfection. "Bloody brilliant, you are."

She stooped down and picked up the button, stuffing it into his jacket pocket. "Chas can sow it back on."

"Come on." He said grabbing her hand. "Because I really need to spark a ciggy." He flipped the lock but before he could twist the doorknob, it turned on the otherside and the door went flying inward.

"What..."

"It's all yours, luv." John said with a cheerful grin as he shouldered past the shocked restroom seeker, Zed following behind him.

Zed sighed, ignoring the heat in her cheeks. John had no shame. She'd once seen him unashamedly kissing some young chica with his tongue down her throat, in public view against the wall in some random bar he'd happened to call his own that night.

They knew where she was. Where she resided. They knew who John was. They knew Chas and his remarkable ability. She knew without a doubt John was hated by her father. John had fouled up their little party. His luck was going to run out eventually. Her father was a hard man set on the retribution of those that sinned.

She remembered when Constantine had stood there, looking completely at ease as he plucked the still smoking cigarette from his lips and flicked it over his shoulder. Her father had given him the option of repenting for his sins or dying.

"Sorry, Mate. I can't give up my ways just yet. Heaven would probably burn if I declared myself free of my wicked ways."

She followed him outside and beneath the neon sign. It was cold. She wrapped her arms around her chest and lifted her head to the sky. The knowledge left her feeling hollow, terrified that even now her father was planning, cunning and waiting. She shivered.

"Here." Constantine muttered through the cigarette hanging from his lips.

She turned but he wasn't looking at her. He was holding his arm out, the trench coat clenched in his fist. "I'm not cold."

"Take it." He wasn't arguing.

She stared at his clenched fist before reaching out. Her fingers brushed his when she took it.

Fear, desperation, need, want, damnation, hope. So much damnation. She'd felt that before. He'd been shirtless and he hadn't believed her until she'd said exactly what was in his soul. How could he feel hope?

"We'll figure it out, Zed." John inhaled and blew out a long stream. "We'll figure it out. And I'll kill him."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Do you trust me?" John said around the cigarette. With the green glow of the neon sign and his too big trench coat, she could have been the demonic version of the Mother Mary. Death was the only option. It seemed to only ever be the option where he was concerned. Death followed him like a clingy lover.

"You know I do."

"Why do I get the feeling you don't?" John sighed. "Be a good girl and toss me that light, luv."

Zed looked down and then dug into the trenchcoat pocket on her right and her fingers came against cool metal. She pulled out the lighter and tossed it to him. He caught it one handed and then did what he always did when something was bugging him. He started flipping the top of the zippo up and down, the clicking the only sound outside the bar.

"I do trust you, John."

"But?" He added for her.

"...I don't trust my father."

"That makes two of us, luv." He reached a hand up and loosened the tie around his neck. John made a lot of bad decisions. He'd be the first to admit that. Stupid decisions. Insane decisions that had gotten Chas killed on numerous accounts and Zed to play bait with said demons.

He pushed away from the brick wall and Zed fell into step beside him. The bright light of the street lamp illuminated them before falling behind as they continued on, the other multiple lamps repeating. They walked in silence for a few moments before John slung his arm over her shoulders. "I swear to God, Zed, I won't let it happen." In an after thought he added, "Though, I'm not so sure the man upstairs actually understands a word I say."

Zed wanted to believe him. She really did. But she'd been running for so long and after that momentarily sense of freedom, knowing it had all been a lie, her heart felt heavy. "I thought you didn't believe in God."

John shrugged. "I believe in hell. So I have to believe in God." Some help he was turning out to be, though. All these problems and not a bloody token of appreciation.

"Where are we going?" Zed said as they continued along the paved sidewalk. The pavement stopped, dipping down into the crossroad before them. Even though there was no traffic John pressed the "walk" button.

"To hell, probably." He probably was, no matter that he'd saved the world and planned to do it again. Ignoring the neon hand signalling not to walk across, he straight up j-walked onto the other side. "When we get back to the Mill House I'll re-enforce the protection spells. But you have to stay inside." He said with hidden meaning, referring to the time she'd deliberately ignored him and left the Mill House. That one was entirely on her because she hadn't listened and had in turn lead them straight to her.

"I don't want to go back to the Mill House." Zed said, looking down.

John paused and then stopped so that he was facing her. He placed his hand on the top of her head and bent down so that their faces were level. "You can't stay here."

"He knows the Mill House, John. He knows that's where I'll be at."

"He doesn't know the Mill House."

"You know what I meant."

"I know. Stop being difficult, little girl."

"Don't call me little girl." Zed scolded him softly.

John gave one of her curls a tug before straightening. He grinned. "You're right. You're definitely not a little girl."

"Charming, John. Charming."

"And here I thought you were going to say there was nothing little about me."

Zed rolled her eyes and then wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his chest. She hugged him.

John held his arms out from his sides. "Whoa, luv. I'm not the clingy type. I don't do hugs."

"Shut up. I'm hugging you."

His lips twitched before his arms closed around her. "I get plenty of hugs, doll."

She turned her head and bit his right pectoral.

John gave a small hissing sound. "Hey now, I like that sort of thing."

Zed chuckled. "I just bet you do, John."

"I want my trench back before you to go bed." John murmured.

"Maybe."

"Cause if you decide to get drunk-" Which he was half expecting her to do, considering her current state of mind. "-you might lose it like you did your clothes last night."

"I didn't lose my clothes. They were in my room." Zed defended.

"You weren't."

Even with the turmoil in her mind, Zed felt a smile tugging at her lips. She pulled away, releasing him from her much dreaded hug. The man had probably needed it as much as she had, even if he wouldn't admit it.

She sank back against the brick wall behind her, the overhead light barely illuminating them in its glow. John Constantine. A man of many wonders, hidden talents and a knack for pissing people off.

Zed reached out and curled her fingers in the length of his red tie and tugged him forward. He wasn't expecting it so he stumbled forward and braced one hand against the brick behind her.

He arched an eyebrow.

She didn't know why she did it. She shouldn't. They had enough complications without adding one more. And this was definitely an added complication. What was going to happen when she lost him?

He was already leaning down, his breath brushing over her lips. "Be it from me to ever deny a lady." He murmured before his lips touched hers. That was just like Constantine. Give the man any reason, a wink, a smile, and he jumped.

Her eyes closed when he moved his lips over hers. There was none of the urgency from before in the kiss. She wasn't so sure she would have been able to take it if there had been. His hands moved, sliding down and into the trench coat to rest at the swell of her hips. Again, none of the urgency that had hit them before.

His tongue moved against the seam of her lips, seeking entrance and she opened. There was that same taste from before. Cigarettes, beer and the man himself. She lifted her hands and moved them through his messy hair before sinking back against the wall. He followed the movement, stepping forward and pressing his body against hers.

He didn't do anything else. He just kissed her. He didn't touch her, just left his hands at her hips, though his fingers had shifted just under the hem of her t-shirt, touching bare skin.

A familiar 'whooshing' sound filled John's ears and he sighed before giving a teasing bite to her bottom lip. He broke the kiss and dropped his forehead against hers.

He turned his head. "You never did have good timing, mate. I'm starting to think that maybe all these interruptions is the almighty's way of telling me to buggar off." Buggar off Zed. He nearly snorted. He'd done more than 'buggar off' on her before. He kept that thought to himself.

"Hello, John. And here I thought you'd be glad to see me."

"Do I look glad to see you?" John said and he couldn't stop his glare.

Zed could feel her cheeks heating, but she couldn't stop the smile that came at the sight of Manny. She shyly pulled out of the loose ring of John's arms, refusing to meet his eyes. Unlike John, she didn't like being caught in the act. Much less by an angel.

"Manny." Zed said, her lips blooming into a smile. She never would get over this feeling of awe whenever she saw him. He actually made her feel like her visions were worth something.

John rocked back on his heels and went to stuff his hands in the pockets of his trench coat when he realized Zed was still wearing it. He opted for his pants pockets instead. "And to what do I owe this unexpected arrival? Has the high almighty decided to actually lend a hand?"

Zed punched him in the arm lightly.

His eyebrows soared high, his expression blank. "What?"

"Have some respect." She murmured.

"I have the highest respect." He retorted before turning his attention back to the angel at hand. The sarcasm in his voice didn't go unnoticed. "You've been remote."

"I'm here to see Zed, actually."

"Me?"

John shrugged and turned in the opposite direction. "Always other people, eh? Have at it, mate." He lifted his hand in a farewell and then stopped, turning in Zed's direction. "How about tossing me that pack in your pocket, luv? I'm suddenly in the mood to spark a good ol' ciggy."

Zed started to shrug out of the jacket and just hand it to him but John sighed and continued in the opposite direction without his cigarette. He lifted another two fingers in farewell. "Hold onto it for me."

What was his problem?

Zed watched him turn the corner and then he was out of sight.

"He's probably going to buy another whole pack. Don't pay him any heed. He's still mad about last time." Manny said, drawing her attention back to him.

"You really came to see me?" Her, and not John? The times she actually saw Manny were few and rare. Even though he had been scarce lately, he did see John more than he did her.

"You needed guidence. So here I am."

Zed felt herself smiling. "You...knew." The night Jim had kissed her, Manny had came to see her. He'd said that she'd needed his guidence then, too. She asked a lot nicer than John.

"Have faith, Zed. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to."

She felt a semblence of hope at his words. "So you're saying I should trust John?"

Manny smiled.

She did trust John. What she didn't trust was him to come out the winner against her father a second time unscathed. Show her father out one time, that was his fault. Come up against him a second time, her father was better prepared.

"You can't...intervene, Manny?" That would stop her father cold. He couldn't go up against an angel and hope to succeed.

"I can't change what is, Zed. I can't intervene on this earthly plane. I can only offer guidence."

A part of her understood John's arrogance with the angel. Sometimes Manny was far too vague.

Something crossed Manny's face before he spoke. "Just...be careful, Zed. With John."

Was there a hidden agenda there? Zed cleared her throat. "I am." She said softly. Be careful with what? John was a mess. He was everywhere. There was nothing to be careful with. But somehow, she knew that wasn't what he meant. John jumped beds and women like there was no tomorrow. But that was how he lived, wasn't it? He knew tomorrow might never come.

She felt touched that Manny was worried about her. He was afraid John might hurt her?

She opened her mouth but when she lifted her head, Manny was gone. She smiled. So he'd given her the guidence he'd come to deliver. His job was done.

Her smile died away. She wasn't afraid of John hurting her. She was afraid of hurting him. John said he lost people he cared about.

Her past was coming back to haunt her and she didn't want John apart of that.

Her shoulders moved when she sighed, shrugging out of his jacket and folding it over her arm. She followed the sidewalk back to the bar and then further to the motel. She didn't stop until she was on the second floor and rapped her knuckles against John's door. She waited, listening for any rustling inside and sighed again when no answer came.

He was probably out again. Probably making out with some blonde hair and blue eyed bimbo. Pulling out a slim card from between her breasts, she inserted it between the lock and the door and then jerked the card downward.

Voila. The door clicked open.

They really needed better locks.

Setting the coat on one of the chairs lining the wall, she made her way back to her own room. Once the door was closed she started throwing what few clothes she'd brought with her into the small backpack. She wasn't going back to the Mill House.

"I'm sorry John, Manny..." She muttered beneath her breath.

She slung the pack over her shoulder and stepped back out into the hallway. Chas was asleep and Constantine was only God knew where. She'd always been running. It felt...natural. And she hated herself for it.

She took the stairs because, God forbid John come back at that moment and find her on the elevator. He was too lazy for the stairs. The lobby was empty when she strode through, reminding her of exactly how many times she'd had to do this before. She pushed the front entrance door open and stepped out into the nightlife of New Orleans.

"Where's my trench, luv?"

Zed tensed and turned her body halfway. John sat leaning against one of the buildings pillars, his knees bent as he hit a pack of cigarettes against the palm of his hand five times.

So he had bought a whole new pack.

"In your room." She offered.

"My room was locked."

She shrugged at the silent accusation. "If you say so."

He flipped the top up and thumbed a cigarette forward and pulled it out with his lips. "Going somewhere?" He asked nonchalantly.

"John..."

"Obviously Manny's pep-talk didn't help."

John tilted his head back, resting it against the pillar. He hadn't expected to see her stroding through the entrance/exit. Not until they were heading back to the Mill House, anyways.

Good thing he'd come out for a smoke.

"Dammit, John, I won't watch Chas die because of me."

"He has lives to spare." He propped his arms up on his knees, his hands falling between his knees as he stared at her, smoke spiraling up. "Quit running."

"Running is how I've survived this long."

"Find a new way." John knew Zed had already found a new way to survive. She'd been surviving with him and Chas. It wasn't easy or even fun, but she was surviving. She turned away. She turned her back and took one step.

"You run and I'll fucking catch you, Zed. I promise you that." John murmured around his cigarette. He didn't raise his voice, he didn't move. He just watched her. He wasn't talking about her running from him. No, if she left to fucking hide.

She didn't move.

"You said you trusted me."

She turned then and her eyes met his. He knew he'd won when her eyes narrowed and she strode back towards the way she came.

His win was short lived, however, when she dropped the small back pack in his lap in passing before disappearing into the building. The damn thing knocked the cigarette out.

He wasn't letting her run anymore. He needed her by his side more than he cared to admit. But she also needed him.

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