A/N: Thanks to all who have kept up so far, readers and reviewers, you guys are awesome! Anyways, a huge thanks to Astern for being my beta reader, if you want to check out an awesome TLoU story, check out Dirt by her, it's one of the top ones on my list!
Joel and Ellie sat quietly across from each other at the kitchen table, each finishing a bowl of oatmeal in the mid-morning sunlight beaming through the window above the sink. It cast the room in a healthy, cheerful light, leaving its trademark squashed rectangle on the hardwood floor. Ellie didn't mind the comfortable silence, but she sensed a bit of tension this morning. Every time she glanced up from her bowl, she noticed Joel gazing back at her, his expression impossible to read as usual. Tommy and Maria were long gone, the former helping build another cottage, and the latter doing a shift at the infirmary.
"You've been spending a lot of time at the barn. Everything alright?" Joel rumbled between spoonfuls of oatmeal. He raised a skeptical eyebrow at Ellie.
Ellie hesitated before putting another spoonful into her mouth, lowering the silver utensil as she instead used it to slowly stir her oatmeal. "Yeah, why?" she replied, following the spoon with her downcast gaze.
"Can't blame me for wonderin'," Joel casually scratched his beard, "So tell me about this Jason kid."
Ellie shrugged noncommittally, pausing for a few seconds. She still didn't meet Joel's gaze. "He's a bit of an asshole, but he's not so bad," she said after she let out a slow breath. Ellie had a feeling she knew where this was going, and she didn't like the sinking feeling she was getting in her stomach.
"Is that who you're goin' out to see after dark?" Joel rumbled, and Ellie snapped her head up, meeting his eyes. The expertly-hidden guilty look on her face and her silence told him all he needed to know. Figuring she wasn't going to talk, Joel decided just to leave it all on the table. "I hope you're not doin' anything…inappropriate with him. I heard some things about a party in the barn last night, was that why you came home so late?" Joel asked, fixing Ellie with a stare that told her there was no beating around the bush with this one. Concerned as he was, he trusted Ellie not to get herself into trouble. He knew she had a good head on her shoulders.
"Yeah, I was at that party…but nothing happened. We had wine, but I didn't have any. And I don't like Jason that way, Joel. He's just a friend," Ellie quipped, clenching her jaw. Why was she getting so defensive, and anxious? She could feel it lapping at her insides, leaving an acrid feeling behind in her gut. Maybe it was just Joel's penetrating stare that was putting her off. How did word even reach him, anyway? He never stuck his nose into other people's business when he didn't have to.
Joel worked his jaw, rubbing it pensively with one hand. "Was it true a fight broke out?" he queried gruffly, continuing the interrogation.
Ellie massaged her upper left arm with her opposite hand, chewing her lip as she deliberated whether or not to tell the truth. In any case, he would probably find out sooner or later, and things would be worse if heard it from someone else, and then cracked down on her. "Jason got mad at this one guy, and he broke his nose, but he might have been a bit drunk, I don't know," Ellie finally replied, watching Joel switch to pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed. It was the sigh that either came with a warning or a lecture that would end up with both of them shouting at each other.
"Does Jason 'get mad' at people a lot?" Joel asked, grinding his teeth. He could feel the tension inching up his back, spreading to his shoulders.
Ellie narrowed her eyes at him. She hated how Joel would just slightly lift an eyebrow sometimes, and anyone else wouldn't notice it, but to her she knew he was getting impatient. It was like he saved it just for her, and he always knew she noticed. "He doesn't get violent a lot, if that's what you're thinking about. Jason's nice to me and he's never hurt me, so stop acting like he's some kind of criminal," Ellie snapped her reassurance, pushing her chair back so fast, it almost tipped over, "I have to go, I'm already late." Dumping her bowl and spoon in the sink, Ellie hurried out, letting the screen door slam shut behind her.
The sharp clap of the door made Joel's shoulders slump, and the emptiness of the house settled in as he let out a frustrated sigh.
When Ellie got to the barn, she found Jason doing his usual morning sweep down the aisle. He didn't seem to notice her entrance, not that it was anything unusual. She would be lucky to get a "Good morning, Ellie" most days, and a "How are you?" would be nothing short of a miracle. So Ellie took her trusty straw broom, beginning her sweeping at the opposite end of the barn.
"I already did that half," Jason broke the silence after Ellie completed a few brushes, and Ellie shrugged, glad to have less work. However, unlike the other mornings, he didn't tell her what her next task was. So Ellie waited patiently, stroking Pixie's nose through the bars of her stall door.
The black overo filly curiously nibbled at her fingers, bringing an upward twitch to Ellie's lips as she glanced at Jason out of the corner of her eye. He was wearing his usual ratty jeans and a black tank top, sweat already collecting on his exposed skin even though it wasn't even noon. Ellie would take her plaid hoodie off, but that would mean revealing her bite mark. She supposed girls would find it attractive, watching the way the muscles in Jason's back and shoulders tensed and relaxed with the motions of the broom. Back in Boston, if someone like Jason walked into the cafeteria, she and Riley would take bets to see how fast a girl would hook herself onto his arm. The thought made her smile sadly.
"So…" Jason relieved the endless silence between them, which in Ellie's opinion was too long, even for him. Ellie gave him her full attention, leaning against the stall while Pixie lost interest and returned to eating hay. Jason stopped sweeping, setting the broom aside in favor of shoving his hands into his front pockets, chewing his lip as he studied the floor. The silence stretched out between them, leaving Ellie hanging and Jason with heat creeping up his neck and face.
"What?" Ellie drew out the word, getting the same sinking feeling she had at the kitchen table.
Jason pursed his lips, a strand of dark hair falling into his eyes. A few more moments of excruciating silence followed before he finally gathered up the nerve to mutter, "You…like girls, eh?" Ellie had to strain her ears to hear him. He almost sounded…disappointed.
Ellie shrugged, "I…guess. Why?"
In truth, she had never given it much thought, she just felt whatever she felt. Kissing Riley felt right, natural. She didn't care much for gawking at Jason in a tank top.
Jason was quiet for so long, she thought it was an end to the conversation. But he didn't move from his post by the stall door, so Ellie could tell he wanted to say more. Eventually, he scuffed the floor with his heel asking, "When did you…umm, know? That you liked girls?"
"When did you know that you liked girls?" Ellie shot back, which seemed to jolt Jason back to his former self, "I just do, okay?"
Jason snapped his head up, meeting Ellie's eyes for once. The curiosity and nervousness almost instantly drained from his countenance, which resumed its dulled, stony mask again. Ellie would almost use the word numbed, because it was impossible to tell what he felt, or how much, just by looking at his face. The tension in his shoulders and chest gave her a better indication, which were slowly relaxing at the moment. Good, Ellie thought, he's back to his normal self.
"Nevermind…Maria's here," Jason informed her, and Ellie turned to see said woman approaching the barn door. She might not have been close enough to hear their extremely awkward conversation, but if she did she was kind enough not to mention it.
Maria gave the pair a wave, shoving one hand into the front pocket of her scrub pants. They were a faded blue, matching the V-neck shirt, and Ellie remembered her saying at one point over dinner that she studied as a nurse before the outbreak. "Hey, you two. Ellie, I want to give you some work at the infirmary, if you're not too busy here," Maria smiled tiredly. Ellie noticed the dark circles under her eyes, wondering how early she had really woken up for her shift.
"Uh, sure," Ellie agreed, glancing back at Jason for permission. He spun on his heel and disappeared into the tack room, silently indicating he didn't care. So Ellie followed Maria down the dirt street and into up the steps of a large longhouse shaped like a T. The scene inside the double doors was much the same as any triage or small infirmary. Eight cots were set up on either side, the row on the left side having a large space for access to the second set of double doors, which had a sign taped to one that read "Operating Room-Staff Only" on a piece of paper with black marker.
Two pairs of windows on either side, situated between beds, let light spill through and brighten the building. There were only three patients, two with an IV stuck into their forearms, and one that had a bandage around his head. He was reading a book, propped up by pillows. The two with an IV were sleeping, gauze wrapped around various limbs. Ellie guessed gunshot wounds.
"What do you want me to do?" Ellie asked. There didn't seem much for her to do, in fact the place seemed quite boring. Jason's awkwardness was better than boredom.
"I'll show you how to check vital signs, and how to record the patients' conditions. Dr. Anderson will help you," Maria explained, pointing to a fifty-something, balding, gray-haired man in a white lab coat. Besides Maria and another black-haired nurse, he was the only other professional in the room. The other nurse's long, black hair was tied back neatly in a bun, and her skin was a dark tan colour. Ellie almost did a double-take at the doctor; he was perfectly camouflaged against the white-washed walls. Ellie nodded, wrinkling her nose a little at the acidic stench of rubbing alcohol that seemed to seep out of the very walls.
"When you're done, you can play cards with some of the patients, or talk with them. They'd like that, we don't get a lot of visitors. I'll just be in the operating room cleaning things up if you need me," Maria continued, giving Ellie a gentle shove towards Dr. Anderson as she disappeared through the double doors. Ellie caught sight of a metal operating table, a giant overhead lamp, and an array of surgical instruments on a nearby table as the doors bounced shut, some she had never even seen before. She was curious, but she knew Maria wouldn't let her explore. Nobody knew when the next emergency surgery would need to be performed.
Dr. Anderson smiled politely at Ellie, briefly introducing himself as he handed her a clipboard. The other nurse completely ignored them, going about her duties making the beds, checking the cabinets at the back of the room, and making her own notes on her own clipboard.
Despite Ellie's initial thoughts about how boring the job would be, she soon became interested in the process of taking vitals, explaining how IV drips worked, and the basics of caring for patients. 's voice was fatherly, calm from years of practice, and his fascination about the human body slowly started to rub off on Ellie. He spoke of the remarkable adaptability of the human mind and body, and how many times he saw patients on the brink of death pull through despite severe injuries and debilitating illnesses. Dr. Anderson held a high respect for the human body, and Ellie could tell just from hearing him talk.
Once Ellie got the basics down, Dr. Anderson let her play cards with the man across the aisle, apparently whose name was Oliver. Oliver was freckled, red-haired, and couldn't be older than 25. He seemed pleased to have a companion to relieve his boredom. He only had a minor cut along his scalp from being grazed by a bullet while on patrol, and the hair that poked out from underneath the bandage was as bright as a carrot's.
Oliver put his book down, pulling a deck of cards out from the nightstand's drawer to his left. Ellie pulled up a chair on his right, and Dr. Anderson gave him a stern look. "Don't be teaching this young lady how to gamble, you hear?" he warned, but Ellie caught a hint of playfulness in his tone.
"Yessir. I promise," Oliver chuckled, giving the doctor a mock salute. Dr. Anderson muttered something under his breath, going to check on the black-haired nurse.
Ellie cocked her head at the young man. "What's gambling?" she queried.
A wide smile broke out across Oliver's freckled face, and he lowered his voice so the doctor wouldn't hear, "Gamblin's like betting. Works great with cards, like whenever someone wins a game, they take all the stuff the losers bet. You gotta be good to win, though."
"What kind of games do you gamble in?" Ellie asked. She chewed her lip as the memories of how many times she had lost at cards to Joel came to mind.
Oliver chuckled, "Poker's my favourite. Blackjack and Texas hold'em are also pretty popular. Wanna learn how to play Blackjack? It's real easy."
Ellie shrugged and agreed, having nothing else to do since Maria wouldn't let her leave. While Oliver shuffled the cards he explained, "Each player in this game gets two cards. The name of the game is to get to 21 without going over. Sound easy enough?"
Ellie nodded. Oliver handed her two cards face-down on the bed, and placed two on his lap. Ellie quickly got the hang of it, and soon she was winning just as many games as the young man across from her. Once bored of Blackjack, Oliver switched to explaining the rules of poker. Ellie hopped over to the other bed opposite Oliver, using the chair as a sort of table between them. It took her longer to wrap her head around the rules, but eventually she started improving.
Dr. Anderson would shoot them glances every now and again, and since they were having fun, he didn't bother disturbing them. He came over once and, smirking, whispered to Ellie, "Use the Ace." Oliver promptly shooed him away with a few empty threats. The peaceful silence soon settled back in, Ellie resuming her avid studying of her cards.
Suddenly, couple of men burst through the infirmary doors, carrying a young brunet man on a stretcher between them. He was deathly pale and unconscious. Ellie didn't get a good look at his injuries, but she could tell there was a lot of blood from the soaked-through gauze wrapped haphazardly around one shoulder and his abdomen as he passed.
Ellie's stomach clenched. He looked worse than Joel had last winter, where he had lain for weeks on the verge of death. A chill stole over her and she shivered.
A woman jogged behind them, carrying a black jacket that trailed blood across the floor as she hurriedly crossed the room. She cradled a sheathed sword in her arms, hastily depositing both down on a chair as Dr. Anderson barked orders to the men and the nurse, all of whom rushed inside the operating room.
"He don't got long…"Oliver murmured, bringing Ellie's attention back to him.
"You don't think they can help him?" Ellie raised an eyebrow at him.
Oliver sombrely shook his head. "I've seen those types of injuries before, and with that amount of blood…I'd say a few days at most. With that damage, organs usually fail, and they die of that if they hadn't died of blood loss already," he sighed, "Poor guy, he looks young, too."
Ellie snorted at him, "You're awfully hopeful."
"I've seen my fair share. Wonder where he came from, haven't seen him before," shrugged Oliver, going back to the card game. Ellie imitated him in reply, concentrating on her cards. She could hear the medical jargon Dr. Anderson and the other nurses were using with each other, none of it making sense to her. The three people who had accompanied the newest patient walked out of the infirmary, exhaustion and anxiety written all over their faces.
After a few minutes, with everyone in the operating room, Oliver broke the silence that had settled on between himself and Ellie. "Why don't you check what that guy has? I wanna see that sword," the red-haired man nudged Ellie, pointing to the coat and said weapon that had been deposited on the chair in the corner.
"That's not our stuff, though," Ellie reminded him.
Oliver gave her a look that indicated she should stop being a goody two-shoes. "Look, that guy in there had so many chunks missing from him, he'll probably die on the table. Doc said I shouldn't get up, but take a peek for me," he winked, and Ellie rolled her eyes. He was probably a scavenger at heart. Ellie was used to scavenging, but not when the owner of the stuff was around.
She reluctantly snuck over to the jacket, wiping the fresh blood off as much as she could with a rag. Hanging it on the back of the chair, she almost dropped it in surprise at the weight. This wasn't just a jacket, it was full-on body armour. Ellie couldn't say she had seen a trench coat that doubled as body armour. Inspecting the jacket, she fingered the tears, a neat one she guessed was done by a knife, and a crater of one that would probably need a patch. Then there was one that was so large on the shoulder that she could only match it to the sword.
"Jesus…Oliver's right," Ellie breathed, assuming that all three tears correlated to the brunet man's injuries. She felt the pockets, finding small hidden knife sheaths, some still with knives in them, others with well-protected smoke bombs, and various supplies like gauze and a few packets of unused stitches. She found more knives, pistols, and other small weapons on the guy's belt. Ellie cocked her head at the sword, musing over the tarnished golden hand guard. It was shaped like a dragon.
This guy's loaded…she smirked to herself. Joel would be impressed for sure.
Going back to the jacket, she rubbed a finger over the insignia embroidered on the tip of the hood: two intertwined snakes poised to strike. She wondered if it meant anything, along with the silver winged horse intricately sewn onto one flap of the collar. Searching one of the breast pockets, she fingered a thin piece of paper. Pulling it out, she realized it wasn't paper. It was a Polaroid, like the one she had of herself and Riley.
"I promise…" Ellie mouthed the words scrawled across the back in letters that looked more carved into than written on the Polaroid.
Flipping it over, she almost dropped it in shock.
She couldn't deny the boy in the photo was Jason, but it looked like a slightly younger version of him. He was kissing a blonde girl, and she looked surprised. Why would that guy on the operating table have Jason's picture? Did Jason know him? Who was the girl in the photo? Ellie's only reply was a flurry of more questions that whirled in her mind as she pocketed the Polaroid, returning to Oliver.