Thank you for reading and reviewing! A shortish chapter at this busy time of year. Good luck to everyone going through transitions at work and school.
Kurt was dreaming.
He was back at L'Amour, but this time Adam was with him. The lights were flashing and the music was loud as they danced together. Kurt and Adam were in each other's arms. A crowd of people was dancing in a circle all around them, but Kurt and Adam only had eyes for each other.
The scene changed. Kurt was outside, swimming in warm water in a small pond, and he was filled with a sense of utter peace and contentment. He was naked and so was Adam, who stood just outside the pond on the sand, smiling at Kurt with a loving expression on his handsome face. Kurt stretched out his hand toward Adam.
"Come on in," said Kurt. "The water's perfect."
Adam moved toward Kurt and walked into the water, taking Kurt's hand in his when he reached him.
And then Kurt heard a sound that he didn't really understand, as he began to shift into that confusing place between asleep and awake. The knocking sound was starting to pull him out of his sleep, but he didn't really register the door opening in Adam's room or the sound of voices that followed.
All Kurt knew was that he had to get back to the water. Mumbling, he rolled over and fell asleep again.
The knocking on Adam's door woke him up. He threw on some clothes and opened the door to find Winston again, with wet hair, wearing a towel.
As Adam was answering the door, Kurt was rolling over in his sleep. The blankets fell off and Winston got a brief view of Kurt in all his glory. Adam quickly covered Kurt up with his blankets and shut the door behind himself, barefoot, heading down the stairs to the floor below his where Winston lived.
"I am so sorry," said Winston as they hurried down the stairway. "The lights are still off, so I had a flashlight in one hand and my shower caddy in the other and I forgot my key. And my R.A. isn't answering her door."
"It's okay," grumbled Adam, looking annoyed and sleepy.
When Adam came back to his room and opened the door, and his heart sped up. He hadn't dreamed it. Kurt was actually naked and asleep in his bed.
Kurt was on his side, with his back facing into the room and his face toward the wall. Adam slid in under the covers behind Kurt, kissing him on one shoulder until Kurt woke up enough to move over and give Adam some room in the small bed.
Kurt let out a contented little waking-up sound.
"Good morning," said Adam, curling his arm around Kurt's chest.
"Morning," answered Kurt, putting his hand on Adam's and tangling their long fingers together. Kurt closed his eyes again. He felt wonderful, relaxed and content.
"Are you hungry at all?" said Adam.
"Sleep," muttered Kurt. "Bring me back a banana or something."
"Oh, I'll bring you a banana all right," answered Adam.
Kurt opened one eye and side-eyed Adam scornfully.
"That was lame," said Adam apologetically.
"Good thing you're cute," said Kurt.
Adam chuckled and his stomach growled.
"Go eat," Kurt insisted with a yawn.
"I have something much more delicious right here," said Adam, dropping his mouth to kiss Kurt's bare shoulder again.
Adam's stomach growled even louder, and they both laughed.
"Okay," said Adam. "I'm gonna shower and head down to breakfast. There's a key on my desk if you need the bathroom or anything."
"Okay," said Kurt, and he fell asleep again.
Breakfast was cold food and bottled drinks again, with the only light coming from the windows. Erin and Winston were at a table waiting for Adam. Erin looked amused. Winston looked a little overwhelmed. Adam put his tray next to Erin's and sat down.
"Good morning," said Adam.
"For some people more than others," Erin said with a smirk. "I understand there was a naked boy in your bed this morning!"
"Erin!" said Winston.
"You know," she continued, "Adam's bed is very small. Sounds crowded. And sweaty."
"Erin," said Winston, sounding pained.
"I bet they were wiggling around all night, trying to get comfortable," she added.
Adam shook his head. "You're terrible. I'm trying to be a gentleman here."
"Screw that," she answered. "I want details."
Adam sipped his tea and paused.
"Well, let's just say there's been some progress. That's all you're getting from me."
"Progress is good," said Erin.
"We're taking it slow," he added.
"Slow is good," said Erin. "I like it when it's slow, and then it gets faster and faster and..."
"Erin. Margaret. McGowan!" Adam scolded in a stern dad-like tone.
Erin leaned over and kissed Adam on the cheek. "Loser," she muttered.
"I love you too," said Adam sarcastically.
"You'd better."
Adam ate quickly and started to leave.
"Hey, where are you going with that banana?" asked Erin, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Kurt's hungry," said Adam with a cheeky grin.
"I bet he is!" yelled Erin as Adam walked away, trying to ignore her, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
"Where are you going with that banana?" said Winston. "Seriously?"
"What?" said Erin, grinning.
Winston put his head down on the table. "It's so unfair."
Erin laughed.
"Don't laugh at me. Kurt is beautiful. It's going to take me months to recover from seeing him like that."
"You'll be okay," said Erin.
"Why did Adam have to meet him first?"
"Because life isn't fair," said Erin.
"Tell me about it," said Winston.
Kurt was starting to wake up. The lights were still off but the storm was over, and the sun was shining in through Adam's window.
This room is pure boy, thought Kurt. He couldn't help comparing the room to Blaine's bedroom and Chase's room in his mind. Blaine's bedroom, maintained by housekeepers, was stylistically restrained and preppy, everything perfectly in place, just like Blaine's elegant mother who had decorated it. And Chase was a designer, so of course his room was stunning, every piece in it stylish and expensive looking.
But Adam's room was warm and relaxed like him. This was a typical college room, with posters from shows and rock bands, one of them from a band Kurt had never heard of called The Shocking Mistakes. A battered and well-loved guitar case rested in one corner on the floor, a pile of laundry in another. The room was real and messy and casual just like Adam.
Adam came back to the room and smiled when he saw that Kurt was awake. Adam sat on the edge of the bed and smiled a little shyly at Kurt.
Kurt just held out his arms to him, and Adam happily moved down into his embrace.
"You're wearing clothes," said Kurt with a little frown, tugging on Adam's shirt.
"Well yes, they frown on nudity in the dining room."
"What a shame," murmured Kurt as he pulled Adam down into a delicious kiss that short circuited his brain.
And then Adam got a text. "Duty calls. I am needed in the kitchen again." He looked at Kurt with a questioning expression.
"As much as it pains me, I have to go," said Kurt. "I have things I have to do. But I had a wonderful day with you."
"Likewise," murmured Adam as he captured Kurt's mouth in another kiss.
Reluctantly, they parted.
"Can I take a shower?" said Kurt.
"Sure, let me find you a towel. And help yourself to my closet," said Adam softly.
And my heart.
"Do you need anything else?" Adam looked like he would give Kurt the moon if he asked. Or if Kurt looked at him. Or maybe just breathed.
Kurt smiled at Adam. "Shampoo?"
Back in Adam's room, Kurt was finally dressed and ready.
"I'll talk to you soon," he said to Adam.
"Goodbye Kurt," said Adam, pulling him into his strong arms and squeezing him in a big bear hug.
"Bye," whispered Kurt, reaching up for one last goodbye kiss.
It was cold and sunny as Kurt headed for Bushwick with a smile he couldn't wipe off his face. But he needed to get home, Kurt thought, and finally call that counseling hotline if he could work up the courage, and get some homework done.
And emotionally, he needed to get home, where he could process the twenty-four hours he had just spent with Adam.
Rachel was in her fluffy purple bathrobe at the kitchen table when Kurt walked in the door.
"So?" she asked.
"So," said Kurt, joining her at the table, unable to stop smiling.
"So tell me about Adam!"
"He is the sweetest man in the world."
"I'm so glad, Kurt. You look so happy. You deserve to be happy."
"So do you Rachel," said Kurt. "Any coffee left?"
Rachel poured him a cup and headed off to the shower.
Kurt ate some breakfast and puttered around. He checked his email, wasted a little time on his laptop, and finally settled down to do some homework.
With classes cancelled again, calling the counselor was his major goal for the day. He kept trying to call, but every time he picked up his phone, his nerves got the better of him, and his heart started pounding in his chest, so he would procrastinate by washing the breakfast dishes or visiting his favorite fashion blogs on the internet.
Eventually Kurt felt so anxious that he realized the only way to feel better was to just push through and force himself to call no matter how much his heart was pounding.
When Kurt finally called the number there was no answer, and the voice mail wasn't working either. So Kurt started some laundry, grateful for Rachel's incredibly generous dads who had insisted on installing a washer and dryer in the loft.
He tried again, and finally someone answered the phone.
"Violence Prevention Network. This is Sarah. How may I help you?"
"Hi," said Kurt. He took a deep breath.
"How may I direct your call?" asked Sarah.
"I..." Kurt sighed. "I..."
"Take your time," said Sarah. She had a kind-sounding voice.
"I would like to make an appointment to see someone," said Kurt.
"Of course. Are you safe right now?"
A chill ran through Kurt's body. "Yes, I'm safe."
"Have you seen one of our staff members before?" asked Sarah.
"No."
"Okay. Just let me get some information from you, and then we'll schedule your first appointment. Can you hold?"
"Yes, I'll hold. Thank you," answered Kurt.
Kurt let out a big relieved breath of air. He had an appointment scheduled for Friday afternoon. He was really doing this.
His phone shook with a message from Adam. Hello my lovely Apples! The power is back on and rehearsal is a go for this afternoon. Join us in the auditorium if you can make it!
Kurt had just enough time to make it, if he hurried. "Bye Rachel! Going to Apples rehearsal!
"Is the power back on at school?" she yelled from behind her curtain.
"Yeah...gotta run!"
"Bye Kurt!"
Adam sat on the stage, trying to go through his notes as the Apples trickled in, but he couldn't focus. He stopped to greet each person as they walked in, and naturally his mind was consumed with Kurt and the night they had just spent together. Adam thought about Kurt's strong arms and slim legs and soft skin, and whispered apologies for awkward wayward elbows.
Adam thought about a word Kurt wasn't ready to hear yet, and Adam wasn't ready to say. And he thought about Stavros too, and what he had said to him.
"You're always happier when you find an artistic outlet for your troubles."
"Take this crush or this love or whatever it is, and write a play about it. Put it in a song. But don't drown your feelings in a bottle."
Adam thought about the fact that Kurt had invited him to his favorite museum, where a van Gogh painting had reminded Adam that he could turn his sorrow into creativity and happiness. It was a nice affirmation to get Adam back on track emotionally as he headed into the final months of his senior year. Adam mused that Kurt's invitation to the museum had a deeper meaning that Kurt wasn't even aware of. Kurt was inviting Adam to a place that was safe and creative and wonderful and magical, and not just literally. Kurt was inviting Adam back to himself, he thought.
And Adam was so smitten with Kurt that when Adam had walked into his room to see Kurt sleeping in his bed, just the sight of one of Kurt's sideburns was enough to crack Adam's heart wide open.
They really are perfect sideburns, Adam thought.
I am in so much trouble.
Kurt was late.
The Apples meeting had already started when he walked into the auditorium. Adam was sitting on the edge of the stage in the auditorium, swinging his long legs in front of him as they hung off the stage. Adam stopped mid-sentence and tensed when Kurt walked in, looking at Kurt with a questioning look on his face, searching Kurt's face for some kind of reassurance.
"Hey Kurt, glad you could make it," he said in an attempt to be casual that wasn't fooling anyone in the room. "We were just working on the Sondheim mashup."
Kurt stood there, lost in Adam's blue eyes for a moment, sharing his gaze. Whatever Adam was looking for, he apparently found it in Kurt's eyes, because he relaxed and gave him a huge smile. Neither of them realized that everyone else in the room could see plainly that Kurt and Adam were holding each other's hearts in their hands. The affection their eyes held for each other was lighting up the entire auditorium.
Adam shook himself gently and came back down to earth. "So. Back to Sondheim. What were you saying, Rob?"
Kurt dropped his bag and walked over to the stage. He hopped up to sit next to Adam, who squeezed Kurt with a strong, warm arm around him. Adam's eyes never left Rob's while Rob was talking, but Adam's arm stayed firmly wrapped around Kurt.
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Every time I look at you
Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say
Want to tell you just how good it feels
When you look at me that way
- David Gray