Chapter Fourteen
The Prophecy of the born again Virgin Mary had been drilled into her since birth. She knew the Bible, as critical and unbelieving as it was. It was hard to believe in something that so many people considered the truth when she knew the dark side that came with it.
She'd grown up, locked in her bedroom for the sake of her Father's works and Prophecy and that could possibly be why Zed never liked to stay in one room too long. She needed the freedom that came with being alive and one's own person. She'd had that for a short while. The Mill House seemed to be the only place that she could let that small fear go.
Claustrophobic? One of the many fears Zed had.
Looking around at the bare walls, Zed hated the room. There was no window, no outside form of light other than the electrical fixture overhead. She could do without TV and a phone. Those things were non-conceptual.
She was left with nothing to do but wait.
Wait for what? The world to come crashing down? For Manny to beget a heavenly child to rule the world? Wait for Constantine? There were so many questions that she had no answer for. She wanted to be patient, but there was an undying fear buried deep down.
She stared down at the Bible on her pillow. The gold binding stared up at her with the words Holy Bible New Testament. The one book her father had given her to read without any fear of her using it against him. She would have preferred a romance novel over the Biblical testimonies hiding in that book. There were so many contradictions there, and she only saw them because of what she'd witnessed with Constantine. Angels were just as cunning and devious as the Devil and his minions.
Zed reached out and picked up the Bible and flipped it to a random page. She could have found something directly to her father, but he would have found a contradiction of his own to prove his and Manny's word.
She sighed.
Psalm 119:11
"I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."
She tilted her head back and stared up at the ceiling. "I've done a lot of sinning, I'm afraid. There's nothing we can do about that. How about giving me a break."
They always said the Lord listened to and forgave a sinners heart. Did he? Because she didn't feel very repentant. She felt like doing a hell of a light more because she'd been denied a childhood, never had the chance to know her mother and her father was hell bent on his Biblical end.
She'd been denied the reality of a father.
The words on a thin white pages blurred as she stared. Constantine knew what it was like to adore a father who so thoroughly misunderstood everything. You could hate someone with every fiber of your being, but also love them in the same second.
She would always have that little girl fantasy of a normal childhood, of a normal father. She hated her father with a passion. But a part of her wanted to please him. She wanted his affection but without the added side effect of giving birth to the Messiah.
She hated herself for wanting what she couldn't have.
She blindly turned the pages until a small bookmark caught her attention. Her eyes moved over the scripture and she recognized it instantly. Who wouldn't? A few scriptures were highlighted in yellow, meant no doubt for her to recognize.
The words "Honor thy mother and father" were highlighted. They would be.
Her heart tightened. If only it were so easy.
"Thou shalt not murder."
" Thou shalt not commit adultery."It was a bit late to be reading up on that.
"Thou shalt not steal."
She'd never intentionally done wrong to those around her. Like Constantine, she had been entwined with the fate of the world and there was no escaping that. The people who had the misfortune to get mixed up with her were just unlucky.
Jim. He'd known her as Mary, but he'd still known her. That was too much.
Constantine? He'd gotten too close and now he was just as twisted into this as she was.
She stared at the Bible again. She wished she could obey her father. Just so that he would be happy with her―not because of some Prophecy―but because of who she was. Maybe that was his intention with the Bible.
Conviction.
The Bible, according to Christianity, was good at convicting the soul.
She'd once told Constantine she wasn't sure that she believed in God, but she did believe that there something out there. Whether it was God, Buddha or some graven imagine, there was something out there to believe in. Something powerful.
The door opened and she lifted her head. Martin filled the doorway and his eyes lowered to the open Bible. "Are you reading the Bible?"
Zed reached out and closed the pages and binder one handed and sat up fully. Her expression closed as she stared at him. "What do you want?" He'd looked pleased when he'd seen the open Bible.
She wasn't pleased.
He closed the door and the bed dipped as he sat down beside her. It was the perfect image of father and daughter. There was no mistaking the likeness.
"You know I only want what's best for you." He picked up the Bible with all the grace of dying soul. "The Prophecy coincides with the Holy word, Mary. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that." He opened the book and turned to Jeremiah 29:11.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not harm you and to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. The Lord has great plans for you, Mary. He saw fit to send one of his holy angels to give us his word and his knowledge. You'll have a future beyond this place."
Zed made an exasperated sound and stood up. "Don't you see, there is no future in any of this! This is insane! All you've done is harm me. Where is the prosperity in that? You took away my childhood with visions and brought me up with the knowledge that someday I'd save humanity. One person can't do that. I can only save myself. You can only save yourself. Manny is―is, he gave up everything that was holy when he set out to do this on his own."
She plucked the Bible from his hands and threw it. "I don't want any of this, don't you understand that? I won't have any of it." The Bible thudded against the opposite wall before hitting the floor.
Thunder didn't rumble. Manny didn't appear. Lightening didn't even strike when she threw the Bible. Zed huffed and stared at her father. He was calm. That was something he always was. She'd never seen him lose himself in anger.
He stood and grasped her arm and tugged her with him as he opened the door and pushed her through.
"Where are you taking me?"
"To Confessional."
"What?"
"To confess. Sin is natural to us all. It's something we crave, Mary. But we can overcome it. Confessing to your sins is the first step to immunity and a new beginning."
Immunity? He thought he was no longer capable of sinning? Zed laughed inside her head. "Have you forgotten For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God?'"
"We've all come short of God at one time. That's what his forgiveness is for. We can beat sin if we refuse to indulge in it."
He lead her through the long winding hallway and then past the massive doors that led into the Cathedral. She could hear the pipes playing in the distance and thought 'how fitting'.
"I have nothing to confess." Zed spat out and jerked at her arm. She didn't want to confess. What she wanted was out of here and away from Martin and everything that reminded her of her past life.
He wasn't listening to her. He opened the door to their side of the Confessional and pushed her into the small, dim interior and then leaned in. "Confess, Mary. It will open your soul and lead you to the light."
That sounded like something Manny would say.
Martin shut the door, enclosing her in the small box. She sat there in silence and clenched her hands in her lap. She didn't believe in Confessionals. Some sins were better left unsaid. Some things were better left in the dark. She reached out and turned the knob on the inside but it was locked.
"Dios dammit."Zed whispered.
"I'm sorry, child?"
Zed looked towards the thin divider. She could make out a faint light between the thin slated wood and the shadow of the Priest. She ignored him and spread her legs and felt along the edges of the seat for anything she could use as a weapon but there was nothing but smooth wood.
She could try to break the door down but she was sure it would take more than a couple of kicks and Martin would be notified by the sound. No, she wasn't getting out that way.
"Speak, child. Fear makes the sin seem too great."
"I just threw a Bible, Father. How's that for sin?" Zed braced her hand against the door and tested its standing hold, careful to keep any other noise quiet.
"Well, it depends on the Bible, love. The Book of the Dead is also considered a Bible."
Her head whipped around and she stared at the divider. That tone. That voice...
It couldn't be.
She curled her fingers in the groves covering the divider and shoved it to the side. It grated, but gave, exposing the other side.
John said there, dressed in Priests robes. "John!"
"Shhh. Not so loud. What is it with you people and yelling me name?" There was the female population, there was Papa Midnight and then there was Zed. He didn't mind the female population screaming his name, preferably in bed. Papa Midnight and Zed had a bad tendency to say his name when he really didn't want to be noticed.
Zed inhaled unsteadily. Her fingers tightened over the dividers edge. He was real. He was here. How he'd managed to pull off a Priest, she didn't want to know. He was here, that was all that mattered.
But so was her father.
"Threw a bible, eh, love? You could use forgiveness for that one. I forgive you." He stared at her for a moment more before his expression changed. He had to ask. "You're alright?" He'd asked her earlier, but he wouldn't be comfortable with himself until she was back with him.
"Yes, they're still waiting for something. I'm not sure what. But―"
John pressed a finger against her lips. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. I'm coming. I can't bring you out like this." He had to get that out before anything else. "Do you know where they're keeping you at in this God forsaken place?"
"Go out the doors to your right and follow the hallway. My father has an office on the left. There's a door beneath his desk. Follow the steps and the room is down there."
Some Cathedral this was. All kinds of secrets, wasn't there, John thought.
"Just know that I'm here. Okay? I'm going to get you out of here and we're going to finish this. No more running." John said and cupped her face. He tilted her head down and pressed a hard kiss to her forehead. He looked her dead in the eyes when he spoke. "If He tries anything, do whatever you have to do to stop him. Anything, Zed." He said, his tone clear.
That was John Constantine. His rotten core. He'd rather see Zed dead than Manny to impregnate her with some angelic spawn.
He wouldn't let it come down to that.
"And don't go throwing anymore Bibles, love. I can only forgive you for that so many times." He leaned past her and rapped his knuckles against the door on her side. "Now go play the good little daughter and keep them busy."
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