Chapter 14
Ezra POV
Ezra wasn't used to enjoying himself, but he felt that way with Aria for the next two days. He showed her more of Long Beach, hitting up more of his favorite spots. He took her out to dinner and movie, going for late night strolls on the boardwalk. He even showed her where he went to college .He didn't know how it would be between them once they got back to Rosewood, but he wasn't willing to think about it.
They had sex, and more sex throughout the day and night, learning more about the other's body. They couldn't keep their hands off the other. Ezra didn't know he could be content with just one female partner. Aria made it so easy, never rejecting him when he wanted her physically. She was always willing and ready.
She would occasionally seek him out, wanting him as much as he wanted her. They had sex in every room in his apartment, a couple of times on the patio. Sometimes they couldn't even make it out of the bed in the mornings. It was like she knew what he wanted if he gave her a certain look. It was the same for him as well.
She even made it a habit of cuddling with him, showing him he was wanted. He never pulled away from her display of affection, he secretly liked it. She was sensitive to his needs, knowing when not to push him if he was having one of his bad days. She was always attentive and observant, knowing what he liked and what he didn't. He felt he knew her habits too. A smile was always on her full soft lips, making it easier to be around her.
Aria had a radiant aura that he soaked up every chance he got. He had never known anyone who never complained about anything. She was simple and uncomplicated, never fearing he would be hurt by her. He'd never met anyone so good and perfect. He still didn't think he deserved someone like her.
He was naturally bad, damaged goods. Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she reject him? Give up on him? He had anger issues, suffered from past addictions, and had a dark past. He was no choir boy. He hated himself, hated what he let happened to him. Most of all, he hated his parents' parenting skills.
They were at fault in how he turned out. He wished they had done things differently. Wished Vivienne had been less selfish and cold, and that Scott had been stronger. Wished that Vivienne had been there the night he had needed her most. There was no going back now.
He had to live for the future, and not in the past. He had to try to overcome his demons. He hoped with the help from his therapy sessions with Dr. Hill, and Aria's influence, he'll be on the road to recovery. He realized he couldn't achieve that alone, he needed help. He wasn't afraid to admit it.
Ezra knew he had to leave everything, and everyone in his past behind. That also meant Stephanie. He had no intentions of apologizing to her. She had known not to come to his apartment, to break his trust. He'd never trusted easily, but with Stephanie he thought he could.
She had proven him wrong. He made a poor judgment call with her. He wouldn't let that happen again. It made him questioned everything she had ever told him, or done for him. She was no different than the other faceless women in his life.
She had really crossed the line by hitting him. He never took kindly to someone placing their hands on him. It usually didn't end well for the person. He would have seriously hurt her if Aria hadn't been in the room. He had been out of control, passed the point of reasoning.
Aria had been the one to get through him, to make him stop and rethink his decision. She was the only female he'd listened to. He'd seen in her beautiful brown eyes just how much he'd scared her. He never wanted to see that look from her again; she had no reason to be afraid of him. Her opinion was the only one that mattered to him.
He knew there was a reason why he valued Aria so highly. She was different from other girls. She didn't throw anything back in his face, or asked for anything in return. She wanted him, embraced every portion of his being. She would never been like Vivienne, or Stephanie.
She would never let him down. He didn't deserve her loyalty. He didn't want to her hurt again, but he couldn't allow her to waste all her time and energy on him. He was unworthy. He knew he would end up hurting her again.
Ezra didn't want to push her away, but he had to find another way to distance himself from her once they got back to Rosewood. She should be out spending time with her friends, not spending it with him. They had to be the most important things in her life, besides her mother, Ella. He had to make her understand. He wished she wasn't young, that she was older to handle the harsh reality of who he was.
He held the door for Aria as they exited the little café and began the trek back to his apartment. Her hand was small in his, offering him much comfort. He would miss these moments with her, being allowed to her hold her and be with her intimately. He wished he was able to make love to her, but he couldn't. He was afraid, afraid of disappointing her.
He didn't know if he could. He only knew how to fuck when it came to sex. He kissed the side of her head, feeling her hand tighten on his. He watched the people around them, pulling her closer. He'd never wanted to protect another human being, until Aria entered his life. His lips gazed her plush hair again as she leaned on him, letting him support most of her weight.
He didn't mind, he liked having her close. She was so tiny compared to him. The world was a cruel and ugly place. His lips brushed against her ear, feeling her shiver and moan. He was just about to whisper something in her ear, when he saw a face from his past, his entire body tensing up as a dangerous light entered his eyes. He wanted that face to stay buried, to never have to haunt him again.
Ezra stopped walking, feeling as Aria glanced up at him in mild confusion. He felt sick to his stomach, eyeing the much older man in front of him. The older man looked back at him, recognizing him instantly as a twisted gleam appeared in his eyes, licking his lips as though Ezra was an appetizer. He couldn't keep his eyes from the man, looking away briefly for his friend who had a hand in raping him those many years ago. Aria jerked on his hand, calling his name, but he didn't see her, couldn't hear her.
All his attention was for the man standing across from him. He felt fury rush in him, consuming him completely as he continued eyeing the predator. He felt himself flashback to that night, the night of feeling helpless and weak. The feel of his insides being torn apart as the two men violated him brutally, over and over again as he cried and screamed for help. He had fought, but it hadn't helped, he hadn't been strong against the two males taking turns to hold him down.
They had laughed and enjoyed the sick acts they had performed on him, a young boy. A boy who hadn't thought something like that could happen to him, who hadn't been prepared for the shame and sickness that consumed him for the rest of his life since then. The two men had ruined him, ruined his life. They had taken something from him. They had not only raped him, but they had beaten him and tortured him. They had stripped him of being a man, taken away his innocence.
He'd waited for this moment, a chance to confront his attackers, to hurt them as they had hurt him. He was older now, stronger and more than ready for them. He wouldn't give them the chance to hurt him again, to hurt anyone else. He wanted the other friend too, but he would focus on the man in front of him. He had no idea he started to walk towards his attacker, inching closer as the predator this time.
His attacker had nowhere to run, to hide. Ezra would make him answer for his crimes, beg for mercy. Something his friend and him never offered him. Everything seemed to slow down around him, only focusing on one object, one goal. His attacker lost the sick gleam in his eyes, sensing danger as Ezra closed in on him.
He tried to back away, but there was no point. Ezra reached him for he could. Ezra released every emotion inside as his hands enclosed around the man's neck as he gripped tight, choking him senseless as cries and yells broke out around him. He only saw red, wanting so badly to end this man's life. He became less than human, became something savage, unattainable.
He heard Aria's voice in the background, but he couldn't reach her. He couldn't get to her as she cried for him to stop, pulling on him. His fists connected with the older man's face, any part he had access to. He was beating the man to the ground, using his feet to stomp on him as his fists continued to do damage. There was so much blood, his attacker's blood.
Ezra just kept hitting and hitting him, stomping on him as incoherent words left the man's dislocated jaw. He could hear police sirens, other people begging for him to stop his assault. He couldn't, he couldn't see past his rage. He delivered punches to the man's eyes, and his nose, hearing a sickening crunch. The man below him became unrecognizable.
He felt droplets of the man's blood hit his face, but still didn't stop. He wanted to stop, hearing Aria's uncontrollably sobs, but he couldn't. He was no longer in control. He heard himself yelling at the unconscious man, ordering him to tell him the location of his friend. He stomped down on the man's crotch, trying his best to disfigure him.
The same instrument used to rape him. He was finally pulled off his attacker by two uniformed officers, a third coming in to handcuff him. He was then shoved in back of a patrol car and hauled off to jail. Anger was still rolling off him as he kept his head down, his mind a blank. He only hoped he'd killed the man.
Once in the police station, he was photographed and fingerprinted, before getting booked with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He didn't speak, or resist arrest. He didn't even ask for a lawyer. He even declined an offer to use the phone. He had no one to call.
He didn't want to see anyone, especially not Aria. He couldn't bear to look her in the face. He went quietly to his jail cell, ignoring the other inmates. He couldn't understand how he got to this point. How he allowed himself to get so out of control.
Ezra was escorted out of his cell when he was told he had a visitor. He had a suspicion of who it was, his point proven when he walked handcuffed and feet shackled into an interrogating room and saw Aria. He cursed loudly, seeing her jump from his outburst. She looked terrible, her silky shoulder length hair in disarray and her big brown eyes red and blotchy from crying. Her hands shook badly as she kept them clasped together on the table, her eyes running over him.
He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't. He was chained up. He could only stare back at her angrily, hating her for coming down to see him. He didn't want to see her. He had fucked up once again.
She shouldn't be willing to give him another chance. He didn't deserve one. She should run away from him, keep her distance. He hated seeing her like this, so badly shaken. He deserved to rot there in jail.
"Why did you come here?" Ezra asked her accusingly, his angry eyes peering into hers. Silent tears met his question. No matter how much he wanted to remain calm, to show her he cared, he couldn't. She had to realize he was a lost cause. "I deserve to be here"
"What happened? Why did you attack that man?" Aria asked her voice no more than whisper as she wiped her tears away. "It was like you snapped".
He hated hearing her voice so sad, her wonderful smiles gone as she looked back at him as though he was a monster.
"That's not important," he refused to answer, not wanting to tell her his ugly secret. She could never know. "I was trying to kill him".
She stared widely at him, digesting his words.
"Who was he? Did you know him?" she fished again, trying to understand his reasons for snapping. He didn't want her to understand. He wanted her to leave him alone. "You could have killed him".
He didn't like the pity in her eyes.
"I'm sorry I didn't," Ezra said emotionlessly. "Where is he by the way?"
She blanched at his tone.
"He's in Mercy General Hospital in critical condition," Aria said as she rubbed at her puffy eyes, just before more tears poured forth. "He said he wouldn't press charges before he lost consciousness again".
He sneered at that. Of course he wouldn't want anyone finding out about his perverted past.
"Of course he's not," he laughed acridly, wishing he had gotten the chance to finish him off. "I'll pay him another visit once he gets released".
She pushed herself back and got up from the chair, walking around the room aimlessly as she gathered her thoughts, running a trembling hand through her silky strands.
"What is that going to solve?" Aria asked in a tired voice, before coming back to sit down at the table. "You're lucky their not pursuing these charges regardless of what that man said".
"Something you wouldn't understand," Ezra told her bitterly, cutting her deep with the hardness in his blue eyes. "Do you really think I care about being charged or not? I don't give a damn about that".
She shook her head sadly, hating how he cared so little about himself.
"Why won't you talk to me?" Aria's voice cracked. He looked away. "Don't you trust me?"
He rested his elbows on the table, his head falling against his hands. He hated he had done that to her, disappointed her. He was poison, destroyed everything he touched. She wanted to break his walls, but all he'd done was wrecked her. She needed to walk away.
"I need for you to go," Ezra steeled his voice, lifting cold eyes to hers. She winced at the lack of life in them. "Just walk away from me".
She shook her head no, reaching a hand out to touch him, but he shrunk back. He didn't want her touching him. He was still covered in his attacker's blood. He was unclean. She pulled her hand back at his rejection, biting down on her lip as it quivered.
"My checking account number is inside my nightstand drawer," his voice didn't lose the hardness as he gazed at her crushed face. "Take whatever you need, and catch the first flight back to Rosewood".
And with that, he got up from the table and walked towards the door, which signaled to the police officer, he was done with his visitor. He didn't look back as the door closed behind him. He was done. He didn't want her anyone. Aria needed to go back to Rosewood.
I'm very surprised I finished this chapter so quickly. I'm proud of myself. Thank you guys for sticking with me through the long wait. I don't know for sure when I'm going to have the next chapter up, because I started school Monday. But be patient with me :). Don't forget to review! I love reading your comments.