First, I would like to thank you to read this fic and to share it….

That's touched me a lot because this story is a message for the victims and the torturers

A message for all of you…don't be blind facing the distress of this victims….

Thank you so much

Enjoy

CHAPTER 12: FAREWELL

Dean opened his eyes and saw the ceiling, his look was blurred and the pain was pulsing in his head. He lifted his hand to his right eyebrow and frowned when he felt he had a bandage. He tried to move but moaned his pain out.

The door opened and footsteps came closer. Gaby was here with a shy smile lost in his beard.

"Hi…"

Then Dean remembered: The Cage… Billy Joe…his head hitting the bars with an immeasurable strength… screams resonating and then… a black hole.

"I'm sorry Gaby." He whispered leaning his arm on his eyes.

Gaby took a chair and sat next to him.

"What happened, Dean?"

"I lost. It's not the first time and it probably won't be the last."

"That's not what I meant."

Dean tried to sit but he was unable to do so, his whole body was hurting. Gaby stood up and helped him. He sat against the wall and Gaby put a pillow behind his back. Dean tried to breathe deeply.

"Are you ok?"

"No. I have the feeling I ran into a high speed train." He said closing his eyes.

"Doctor said nothing is broken, but you'll stay here tonight, the impact on your head was violent and I don't want to take any risk."

Dean thanked him with a smile while he was sitting back on his chair.

"So?"

"So What?"

"Dean, please… don't play that game with me ok?"

"I lost a fight, Gaby… this is not the end of the world."

"I lost almost 8000$ on this one…"

"And you won double with Bitchie" he added quickly.

"That's not the problem."

Dean opened his eyes and met Gaby's.

"You lost your rage." He stated.

Dean looked down at his injured hands.

"I know." He whispered.

"What happened then? I barely recognized you. Is it your job at the crazies' hospital that disturbs you that much?"

He looked up and Gaby tried to search for a reason in his eyes but he found only silence for a few seconds.

"I think I finally said farewell."

"To who? Your brother?"

Dean nodded.

"Remind me to stop my future fighters from working with crazy people… at least I won't lose my best ones."

"You didn't lose me, Gaby. I never said I will stop fighting."

"Yes you already did."

Dean tilted his head confused.

"The rage inside you helped you fighting, but you don't like the cage, you never have. You just needed something to evacuate all of this. I've known those things for a long time, I know when someone has to stop fighting. Guys like Jet love it, but you don't… you've never really been one of us. Like I said it was just a way to evacuate your anger and I knew it as soon as I met you."

"You knew what?"

"That you wouldn't stay."

He gave him a sad smile.

"I just wished…" he paused and looked down.

"What, Gaby?"

"Nothing."

He stood up.

"I'll bring you something to eat. Just rest."

He was about to leave.

"Gaby?"

He turned around.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's better if it ends like that rather than with your death on my hands. I like you, you know… I would've hate seeing you in a coffin or a wheelchair." He tried to sound like he was joking.

"I will never be able to thank you for everything you've done for me, Gaby."

"You already did." He said showing him money.

He opened the door.

"We'll still see each other right?" Dean worried.

"You know where I live" he replied with a wink.

"Thanks" Dean whispered.

The door closed and the silence settled, bringing memories of the screams, the blows and the fights. He remembered Melvin's look too… he saw his distorted face the whole night. He was shocked about the fever of the audience, about their screams and their unhealthy exaltation, he was also disgusted with all the blood and the ripped skin, he went to the back of the room when he felt sweat and blood splashing around him.

He thought he would be caught in the global frenzy of the place but it was all the opposite, he felt like it wasn't his place in this violent environment. Dean's defeat added a bitter taste on his disgust. He left before the last fight between The Hill and Monster, he drove back to St Gerry and didn't sleep that night.

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Dean slept during the whole way, curled up in the back of the car. He was feeling empty, he wasn't nervous or stressed, he had no anger. Something in him broke… or maybe something in him healed.

The motel was away from the town and the fights would take place in the parking lot. The rooms would be used as locker rooms and would protect the Cage placed behind with their walls. It was far enough from the town and the main road so no one could see any light or hear any noise. Nobody was coming in that part of the town anyway.

When Dean got out of the car he saw The Hill who greeted him with a nod, so he nodded back. He's never fought with him and he hoped he would never have to. Not that he was scared, Dean wasn't scared of anyone, but he was very impressive because he was big but so calm and peaceful at the same time. He would never let his emotions show on his face, no anger, no rage, it was like he was fighting for the fun. All the fighters were respecting him because he was respecting them too.

Dean took his bag in the trunk, Gaby was looking at him with a very suspicious look. Bibi saw some couple she knew so she went to greet them, walking with confidence with her very high heels on the damaged ground. Gaby had to admit she was very classy.

"Is everything ok?" he asked Dean.

"yep."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Why are you asking me?" Dean said closing the trunk.

"I don't know… you seem different."

"That's because I'm always different."

Gaby pouted.

"Follow me."

They entered a very old room but at least there was electricity and the mattress didn't look so bad. Dean threw his bag on the bed near the window.

"How much time left?"

Gaby checked his watch.

"Two hours I guess. I'll leave you alone, I need to see if everything is ok with Bitchie. I'll be back in a few. Get ready."

"I thought she was in Vegas?" he said sitting on the bed.

"Seems like she burnt her wings" he winked and left the room.

Dean laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his hands behind his neck. He felt his heart pounding when he saw Sam's smiling face in a humidity spot.

"Sammy…" he whispered.

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Shirtless, black boxer and bandaged hands, Dean was looking Bitchie fighting in the Cage. She was a tall brown haired woman with a very dark look on her face, full of anger. He talked to her once when he was at Gaby's and realized they almost had the same childhood. Incest was part of her life as violence was part of Dean's. The Cage was bringing only misery.

Bitchie was tall but she seemed even taller because she had very large shoulders too, without hiding her feminine traits. She was always fighting with her nails polished and her face full of makeup. Dean had to admit she was attractive in her own way. She was also the oldest fighter of Gaby: almost five years fighting… One of the only women fighting men and winning.

Dean liked her, so when he saw her falling on the ground he jumped off his sit and ran near the Cage. She looked up at him and winked. She wiped the blood out of her lip and without Dean to realize it, she knocked her male opponent out with just a kick in the face.

Gaby won 20000$ thanks to this fight. Bitchie and Dean were the ones who brought the most money. She got out of the Cage under the audience screams and patted Dean's shoulder on the way. She stared at him and lost her smile.

"Be careful." She said to him.

She couldn't find the sparkle in his eyes anymore, and Dean felt it probably would be his last fight.

Billy Joe entered on the right, Dean was already in the Cage. Gaby was right: he was bigger and more confident. He was not the skinny fighter Dean fought against in the past. He looked at Dean with one brown eye and one all white, and he lifted his arms making the audience scream even more.

He turned to face Dean and banged both of his fists together lifting his chin full of pride.

The referee stepped forward, made them greet and stepped back.

Billy Joe ran head first toward Dean who avoided him and hit him on his ribs just in time. He straightened up smiling.

Gaby, sitting with Bibi and Melvin, had a worried face. He was feeling something was wrong with Dean because his punch lacked rage.

Dean didn't want to hit first, he let his opponent come to him. Billy Joe faked a front attack so when Dean wanted to avoid the front punch, his opponent crouched down and slid hitting Dean in his hip, surprising him.

Within five months, Billy Joe had the time to change the way he fought, he was faster and stronger. He replaced his missing eye by more agility and more strength.

Dean fell on one knee but had time to step away before his opponent hit him on his shoulder. He kicked him right in his calf making him frown only, his leg just shook a little. Billy Joe turned around quickly and kicked Dean on his throat making him fall and cough. He stepped back and Billy Joe took this occasion to rush on him and hit him on his face. Dean protected himself with his forearms as well as he could and finally found the strength to catch him by his neck forcing him to bend and then he kicked him on his hip.

Both men were out of breath and they started circling the Cage staring at each other.

When the audience yelled, Billy Joe ran into Dean furious and he couldn't avoid him. He lifted Dean off the ground and threw him on the Cage's bars, then he hit him on his ribs without leaving him any rest.

Gaby suddenly stood up, Melvin was terrorized, Bibi was exulting… no matter who was fighting she loved sweat and blood.

In a last effort, Dean hit his opponent on his collar bone which made him step back. Dean took this opportunity and rushed toward him pining him to the ground. This was usually when he started hitting with all his rage but this time, he saw his reflection in Billy Joe's fake eye. He wasn't under rage's influence, he should've hit him in the face but he hesitated a second, and Billy Joe quickly straightened up and hit him with his head, opening his eyebrow.

He caught his ankles and Dean fell on his back. He straightened up but the blood in his eye was blurring his look. He managed to catch his arm, avoiding his punch at the same time, but Billy Joe caught his neck and kicked him on his lower abdomen.

Dean let him go and he lifted him off the ground again, throwing him on the Cage's bars one more time. His head hit them so hard his head protection flew.

Billy Joe gripped his hair, Dean tried to straighten up but his opponent hit his head on the bars.

The audience was screaming so loud, they wanted more. It looked like antic Rome games in the 21th century… the madness of humanity.

He saw Gaby standing up in slow-motion… he heard the screams resonating and then nothing… the black hole.

When Dean opened his eyes on his room he searched the ceiling but Sam's face was gone. There was a man checking on him, probably a doctor, and then he fell in that black hole again.

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Castiel was staring at his room's ceiling cracks, stretched out on his bed, his body straight and his hands on his belly holding the book. The moon was lightening the room because he never wanted to close the curtains, he didn't want to feel locked and needed to see the outside. At least when he would woke up because of a nightmare he would see this piece of freedom, this view of the outside world he was running from. The night was pushing him deep in the dark, but the outside light, as weak as it could be, was an exit.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep. He didn't dream of green-eyed crow this time, he dreamt about her cold look.

He woke up in sweat, panic on his face and desire threatening on his crotch. He curled up like a child holding the book tight against his chest, turning his face to the window.

He wanted it to stop, he wanted to be the little bird under her shoe so his pain would go away forever. He looked down at the book and opened it randomly on a parrot picture with bright colors. He tilted his head and leaned his fingers on the feathers, red like blood and blue like the day sky.

He shut it and got lost in his prison, the one where crows and parrots were now flying with blackbirds and chickadees, the one he liked sinking in even if he was afraid to never be able to get out.

He put the book under his pillow and fell asleep.

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Dean woke up with a bad headache. Gaby put painkillers on his nightstand, he took two and laid back down the time it would stop.

When he left the room he saw Gaby serving breakfast to Bibi wearing only boxer and sport-bra. She obviously went jogging.

"Hey Rage!" she greeted drinking her juice.

"Hi Bibi. You run on Sunday?" he asked stepping near the table.

She nodded with a smile.

"How are you feeling?" Gaby asked offering a sit.

"Better."

"I'll leave you two alone" Bibi said.

She smiled at Dean, kissed Gaby and left the room quietly. Gaby opened the fridge and took orange juice for Dean who winced in pain when he leaned his back on the chair.

"So… can you tell me where Rage left?"

Dean looked up surprised.

"Why this sudden farewell?"

"It's not sudden, Gaby… I just needed to accept it, that's all."

"Right…" he said waving.

Dean drank his juice in silence.

"What are you going to do now?"

"You mean beside the Cage?"

"Forget about the Cage, Dean. There is no Cage for you anymore."

Dean closed his eyes, his head was still pounding.

"I'm talking about your future."

He leaned on his elbows.

"I have more than four months to think about it."

"You wanna go back there?"

"Of course! First I have no choice and second I've got…" he paused.

"It a job, Gaby. I get paid for it, not too bad, and we never know… maybe I could stay longer."

"Oh really?" Gaby smiled… "What's her name?"

"What?" Dean looked up.

"Well… the reason why you care about this place so much… what's her name?"

"There's no one! I just like the job."

"Cleaning people shit… allow me to say you can find better than that!"

"That's not about that, Gaby. I like the place, I like what they try to do with these lost patients…"

"You're not projecting you and your brother between those walls right?"

"I thought about it but no."

"Ok really what's her name?"

"Come on why are you so sure there's a woman?" Dean asked a bit vexed.

"Dean… you smiled more in a few days than you did past months, even when you were broken in pieces and you look hum… relaxed."

"I have purpose, Gaby, that's the difference… a long term purpose. Something to give a meaning at my life for once."

Gaby saw his face lightening.

"Her name!"

"Why are you so sure it's a person?"

"Because I am Gaby" he winked.

Dean couldn't resist but laughed. He was so grateful for this man's help. He helped him getting out of the streets and to control this hate which probably would've led him in jail. He looked at him.

"Have you heard about the attic boy?"

Gaby sat in front of Dean leaning in his chair and frowned. He thought a few moment.

"Yes." He finally said remembering that story.

"I remember something about a guy found in an attic, they said he probably spent 30 years in it… damn that's how you get crazy!"

"His name is Castiel."

Dean stared at his empty glass, Gaby stood up and got coffee.

"He's the one messing with your head?"

"Him… me… this hospital… these patients… I feel like I finally found my place."

"Or another shelter…" Gaby added.

"Yeah that's what I thought at first, but that's not about that. I feel useful even if my job is not really glorious."

"That's the least you can say!" Gaby laughed.

"Gaby…" Dean sighed.

"Sorry buddy but I see you in boxing gloves rather than in cleaning gloves."

"I can do both."

"Oh no you can't, not anymore."

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little… But at the same time I guess it's also my fault."

Dean tilted his head.

"If you haven't fought that day, if cops wouldn't have come and take you to jail, you wouldn't have ended in that attorney's office proposing you to clean bathrooms among crazy people."

"Stop calling them like that, Gaby."

He lifted his arms as he was surrendering.

"I see this as a move from destiny" dean tried to stand up and Gaby gave him a curious look.

"See this as you want… I just see I lost one of my best fighters." Gaby stood up and sighed filling his mug. "Worst thing is… I'm happy for you." He admitted putting the cup in front of Dean. "I'm too old for this." He laughed.

"You're not… you're just a nice guy, Gaby."

"Don't try to flatter me I hate it and I already have my oversized ego for that."

Their talk was interrupted when Gaby's phone rang. He rolled his eyes and stepped away sighing. Dean smiled and drank his coffee.

He looked at his wounded hands… who would've thought his life could change so fast? Who could've imagined a simple signature could turn his destiny? Who could've said a single look could've broken the walls he built on his past to make him see the truth?

He was a fighter full of rage living from day to day and today he gave his boxing gloves back to look toward the future. He smiled… no matter what future will bring, he promised to himself he would go on living his life, he lost too much time already.

Sam would be with him, he will be a part of his life forever, but Dean was not feeling guilty anymore. His brother would forever be in his flesh and blood.

He closed his eyes and thought about Castiel's blue ones… Destiny.

Gaby came back bringing him back to reality.

"I'll drive you back." He smiled.

"Bibi will follow us with the BMW. But for now I have some business appointment and I have to go."

"Fine." He answered sadly.

They stared at each other a long time without a word. Everything has been said.

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Castiel saw the Impala parking in the alley. Dean got out of it from the passenger seat, shook a man's hand for a long time, and then the man left to another car.

Dean waved and when the car disappeared, he lifted his head to look at the third floor. He couldn't see Castiel but he knew he was here, he could feel it.

He smiled and went inside, he needed to sleep and to think.

He also needed to find a way to communicate with Castiel other than his looks and his silences. He wanted to break his prison's walls as he did even if his were probably stronger and higher. How to enter the world of someone lost for 30 years?

He stopped and knocked. Melvin opened the door, he looked terrible.

"Dean!" he said between surprise and sadness when he saw his face.

"Hi, Melvin. Am I bothering?"

"No, come in."

Between two coffees he announced him he wouldn't fight anymore and Melvin felt relieved. Dean asked if he could borrow his laptop one more time and Melvin gave it to him. Then he talked to him about Castiel.

"You should talk to Leyla Fredges, the occupational therapist… she probably is the best to help you. Sometimes patients express themselves better with a drawing or using some pictures, especially patients we don't know anything about like Castiel."

"You're right, I'll see what I can do. Thank you, Melvin."

"You're welcome." He said shaking his hand.

"Oh and for the fight…I'm sorry. I hope you didn't bet on me." He winked.

"Don't worry." Melvin smiled.

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Dean didn't go to dinner, avoiding questions about his physical situation. He would order some pizza and drink beer.

He took the badge out of his pocket and put it on the table near the laptop. He told Mary he accepted her conditions to continue visiting Castiel because he accepted them too. She didn't say anything about it and smiled when Dean left her office.

"This is the beginning of a new chapter." Dean said to himself while falling asleep.

End of chapter XXII