A/N: Welcome back guys! So the third chapter of this story XD pretty exciting even I must say. Umm this story will probably be longer than the other one...actually you should probably count on it being longer than the other story XD which is good for you I guess! ...and alot more work for me -_- jk jk i enjoy it.
Anywho just wanted you all to know, i don't have specific dates that I update on just kinda whenever I have something or feel like it. But i usually update once or twice a week if your lucky three times ;) oh and Gabe will be making an appearance shortly. I'm kinda stuck on that one because I have two ideas for it so I just have to decide which one will fit better at the time :p no worries you should see him soon though so just hang in there!
WARNINGS: This chapter does contain self harm. So for any of you who do not like to read events such as that please do not read this. I dont think I could do this kind of a scene justice, it's just too raw something like that but I tried anyways because it had to happen. I meant to put it in the warnings in chapter 1 and I should have but I just missed it, so you all know now! Thanks to a friend for reminding me :D
Anyways hope you guys enjoy the story!
Amy wearily cleaned the last table for the night. Wiping it, she made sure it shined out at her and that all the salt and peppershakers were in pristine order with tomorrows specials at the end with them. Nodding to herself Amy smiled and walked away from a job well done.
Her and one of the other waitresses had just finished giving the diner tables a thorough scrubbing for the night. By the time they finished it was completely dark outside and only the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk. Today was no exception. Amy could see cars whizzing over the bridge that ran over them somewhat as their occupants sped home for the night.
Walking to the bar Sasha looked up and smiled at her. She did a quick perusal of the diner with her eyes and nodded at her.
"Excellent job as always Amy," Sasha said kindly, "Daphne you can leave now! Thank you very much for the extra help!"
Daphne nodded and walked into the back room to change. Amy watched her go. While her and Daphne had never really talked Amy always had felt that the girl was very sweet just incredibly shy. That was rich coming from her but it didn't change the fact that it was true. Amy waited until the swinging door shut and then she looked at Sasha. Sasha stared back her with an intent look gracing her features.
"You ok after today Amy?" she asked her gently as she wiped a glass dry.
Amy shrugged at this, "Yeah sure I am Sasha, why do you ask?"
Sasha quirked an eyebrow up at her, "Well it just seems to me that you would be uncomfortable under that kind of attention; you just strike me as the type who isn't used to this kind of thing."
Amy blushed beat red at how she perceived where Sasha's questioning was going. Sasha saw Amy start to look a little hot under the collar and quickly rushed to correct her saying.
"I didn't mean!-"Sasha stated quickly, "I mean…Amy I'm sorry that came out completely wrong on my half, I didn't mean to embarrass you."
Amy shook it off and smiled at her boss, "It's no worries Sasha I just kind of looked too far into it."
Sasha smiled gently at her and nodded, "So umm change of topic you walking home by yourself?"
Amy nodded her head, "Well yeah, I mean, I only live 5 blocks away so it's not too bad."
Sasha looked past Amy through one of the windows to the outside. She frowned as she saw some of the lights out down the street and cars driving by slowly.
"Amy let me drive you instead," Sasha stated without even asking her if it was ok.
Amy frowned slightly at this, "But I can-"
Sasha shook her head in objection at this, "No Amy I don't like you walking this late. There's a lot of shit that goes on down here and if I can offer you a ride then I will."
Amy chewed on her bottom lip at this. It wasn't that she wasn't thankful to Sasha for offering her the ride it was just she didn't want to be a bother on anyone, especially her boss. Sasha seemed to understand her hesitation on the matter and smiled gently at her.
"Amy I have a daughter that looks like she could be your age and I would never let her walk home in something like this," Sasha stated as she jerked her chin at the windows outside, "even if it were someone else's kid I wouldn't let them go out alone, and I would hope someone would pay me the same courtesy with my own. You kinda remind me of my daughter as well; and I'm sure your parents wouldn't agree with this."
Amy could feel a lump form in her throat at the thought of her deceased parents. While Sasha did not know anything about them it hit incredibly close to home and Amy did, her best to swallow down the tears that had arose at this.
"Tell you what, 5 minutes is all I need here and then we can truck out in my car ok?" asked Sasha as she continued wiping the long counter down, "you go back, and gather your belongings and meet back here ok?"
Amy nodded and walked through to the back door. Daphne rushed by her and smiled a friendly good bye as she walked through the swinging kitchen doors. Continuing on Amy opened the door to the employee room and grabbed her coat from the hangar. Throwing it on she buttoned it up and cinched it at her waist. Her arms throbbed slightly at the added material and the weight of it covering them but Amy just grit her teeth and bared it.
Walking back out the back door she came to the front of the diner again and noticed Sasha closing the blinds around the last table. Turning she smiled at her already in her coat and carrying her purse.
"Ready to leave?" she asked Amy.
Amy nodded at her and together they walked out the front door. Sasha produced a set of keys from her pocket and locked the door behind them. Amy could hear the gentle click of the lock engaging and Sasha walked away to her four door Sedan parked on the side of the diner.
Getting into the car Sasha started the engine and Amy glanced outside as they pulled out of the parking space and headed to the opening in the curb to turn onto the street.
"Ok Amy which way to your apartment?" asked Sasha kindly as she gazed left and right for any traffic. Amy snorted in her mind at this considering the street was eerily dead, even for this area.
"Turn right and go down until you hit 40th street," Amy told her, "my apartment is the first one on the corner of the street on the right hand side."
Sasha nodded and turned right out of the diner's parking lot. The two of them rode in complete silence as Amy gazed out of her passenger window. The sidewalks were dark, most of the lights having been smashed out at one point or another. The back alleys were pitch black and Amy could see a flicker of movement in them but the car went to fast for her to pin point it. Lights were shining out of the dilapidated apartment buildings and houses as they passed. Amy could see people walking around in their homes.
Suddenly the car slowed down and Amy startled as she realized that they were already at her street. Looking across she could make out her apartment.
Sasha looked over at her, "I'll wait until you get in."
Amy nodded and opened the door, getting out she leaned over again to look at Sasha, "Thanks," she mumbled slightly awkwardly to the older woman.
Sasha gave her a small smile, "Don't mention it Amy, but seriously if you ever need a ride don't be afraid to ask for one."
Nodding Amy closed the car door and crossed the deserted street. Walking up her apartment steps, she used one of her keys and opened the door. Stepping inside she turned and waved to Sasha. Sasha waved back and then the silver sedan sped off into the night. Amy could just faintly make out the red lights glowing on the back then entirely fading away as she turned a corner.
Sighing Amy turned around and walked back up the stairs. Her apartment was on the fifth floor, which made it on the top. The stairs creaked and groaned under her weight and it wouldn't be the first time that Amy thought to herself she would fall through them.
Reaching the top floor Amy slotted her key in the lock and turned. The door creaked open ominously and Amy stepped into her now dark apartment. The curtains over the windows she had left open had moonlight streaming through. One of the windows had moonlight shining down on her small desk.
Amy's eyes were instantly drawn there as she shut the door behind her. The little red diary seemed to glow in the silvery shine of the moonlight. It sat innocently not having moved an inch since she had been gone.
Amy sighed and dropped her small purse by the door. Walking over she shut the curtains and turned on some of the lights that littered the small apartment. Grabbing the remote, she turned on the TV and listened to the news play as she went over to her desk. Grabbing up the diary Amy carried it to her room. Opening the door, she turned on the small bedside light and knelt down by the side of the bed. Reaching under Amy pulled out a small and ordinary wooden carved box.
The box was small, big enough to fit a small diary and a few other personal belongings. It was made out of dark wood but no extravagant carvings littered the area of the box. A small lock was on the outside of it keeping the box closed to all people…all people except for Amy.
Amy looked at the box and she could feel a cold sweat build on her forehead and lower lip. Slowly she tugged out a small silver chain that rested underneath her shirt. On the end of the chain, a small, delicate, silver key gleamed in the lamplight of the room.
Amy stared at the key as she watched it revolve slowly on itself, lights flashing on its smooth surface. Taking the key firmly in her hand she fitted it into the lock and gave it a swift turn; hearing a click Amy paused and took her hand away from the key.
Staring down at the innocent wooded chest Amy took a deep breath as she placed her hands over the lid ready to lift it. This box contained some of her more darker moments in her recent life. Not only did it carry news clippings and obituaries of her parents but it also contained the clipping of one of her best friends being killed.
Amy could feel her heart start to pound in her chest as she took deep steadying breaths. It had been just over a year since this box had been opened. Now she was going to open it for the final time until she could stand to look at all of the contents.
Pushing the lid open Amy looked down at all of her belongings nestled in the small interior. Newspaper clippings, a few loose items and a picture or too crowded the inside of the box. Amy caught a glance of the latest newspaper clipping that she had just placed in the box a little over a year ago and swallowed the large lump in her throat. Quickly grabbing the diary sitting innocently beside her she shoved it in and slammed the lid, locking the small box tightly. Taking the key out she dropped it next to the box.
Clenching her fists, she shut her eyes and felt the small tears squeeze their way out. Her whole body felt as if it were choking on her repressed sorrow. It felt as if nothing could possibly go right. She had lost everything in such a short amount of time she didn't even know which way was up or down. Her heart squeezed painfully as more and more tears flooded out.
Amy rested her forehead in the palm of her hand as she sat on the cold floor and sobbed. Her sobs racked her body so hard that she shuddered continuously and her arms throbbed and burned with aggravation. She couldn't even get enough air in it seemed to compensate her and her stomach clenched and spasmed violently at the harsh sobs.
Shakily she raised one of her hands and wiped at the tears with her fingers. Looking down at her hand, she saw black ink running down her fingers. Of course her mascara that she had completely forgotten that she had on; sighing Amy rubbed her eyes one more time then pushed the box under the bed and grabbed the key slinging it back around her neck.
Shakily she stood on her feet and turned to walk out of the room. Stopping she turned and looked out the window though before she could leave. Walking closer she gazed out of the window and saw a young mother cuddling her twins, or what Amy assumed, as she read them a story from their book.
Amy's heart gave a painful spasm and her throat choked at the large lump that she could feel that was stopping her from breathing. Quickly closing the door Amy turned and walked quickly into the bathroom right across from her room.
Closing the door Amy looked up into the mirror. Her tears had caused her mascara to run all the way down her face and ringed her eyes like a raccoons. Her deep blue eyes appeared dull and lifeless and were extremely red from her hard sobs just seconds ago. Her cheeks were a deep red and flushed. Her usually straight hair was a mess; she hadn't even noticed herself messing it up as she was consumed by her deep depression.
Turning on the faucet Amy cupped her hands and quickly started to clean off her face. Grabbing a face cloth she scrubbed at her eyes until all of her makeup was off and then she raised her nose at the state of the washcloth. It was streaked black from her eyes and Amy tossed it away onto the small counter as she gazed at her reflection.
It was a small improvement from her practically black eyes just seconds ago. Amy knew there were better ways to remove makeup but at this point, she could care less. Looking over towards the shower, she spotted her pink razor sitting innocently on the edge of the shower.
Amy's heart began to pound and it even felt like it skipped beats as she took in the razor. Walking slowly towards it Amy leaned down and picked it up. Gazing at it, she ran her hand around the smooth handle and then looked towards the protective casing that covered the razor blades. Lifting her hand, she pinched the cover and removed it casually dropping it onto the floor.
Gracelessly she fell down beside the tub and lifted one of her arms. Of course, her arm socks were covering her forearms so that she couldn't reach the soft skin underneath. Tearing off the glove Amy picked the razor up again and brought it against a completely smooth patch of skin still.
Before she cut into the skin though Amy took the time to inspect the other cuts; some were still red and sore from the newness of them, while others had slowly healed and left faint but noticeable white lines criss-crossing all over her forearms. There were even some from the gloves rubbing against them had broken open and began a light trickle of blood to well and flow down her forearm.
Ignoring the already flowing blood, she found a spot that was relatively unmarred by her constant abuse and placed the razor against the slightly warm skin. Slowly she slid the razor across her forearm. Amy didn't hiss anymore at the bite of the blade against her soft skin and instead grit her teeth and bared it. She watched the blood slowly bead up from the cut and witnessed it mingle with the blood already flowing down her arm.
The new wound stung at her but ignoring the pain, she picked another spot slightly farther up and slashed the once unmarred skin. More blood blossomed out from the cut.
As Amy sliced at her left forearm the pain that she had felt earlier seemed to evaporate at the presence of the physical pain that was assaulting her body now; once her left forearm was sufficiently cut Amy grabbed a spare towel and wrapped her forearm tightly in the soft folds. Her eyes closed tightly as the wounds burned and hissed at being smothered again and Amy couldn't help a small cry escape past her lips. She dropped the razor in the tub to join and mingle with the rest of her blood that had spilt at the bottom.
Getting up from the floor, Amy walked over to a cabinet and grabbed some disinfectant and a bandage. Quickly she disinfected the wounds, hissing at the sharp sting, and bandaged it tightly until they had healed sufficiently enough to stop the bleeding.
Placing all of her belongings away, she opened the bathroom door and stepped out into her living room/kitchen. The TV was still playing the news and Amy listened to it as she walked over to heat some water for some hot chocolate. Putting the kettle on she glanced outside of her window while she waited.
Prostitutes walked by on the street, their mile long shoes clacking against the cement like horses hooves. Amazing really, that she could hear all of them even from five stories up. Amy jumped at the shear-whistling coming from behind her. Quickly she grabbed the kettle and lifted it from the hot element. Pouring the hot water, she added some hot chocolate powder and some milk. Blowing on the hot beverage she walked slowly back to her couch and gently sat down still holding the steaming cup.
She watched the news with an impassive eye as more criminals were shown in the top right hand corner. The sketch artist having taken in the witnesses accounts for the raper's or killers. Amy took a slow sip as she watched the news.
Suddenly from far in the background Amy could hear cop sirens blasting away. Slowly they became louder and louder. Frowning Amy stood up and looked out the window facing the street. Five cop cars zoomed by and stopped slightly down. Amy tilted her head to the side but otherwise shrugged and walked back to the couch.
Sitting down she huffed as she nursed her hot chocolate still completely unfazed by what was going down mere blocks away from her. Before, when she had first moved in, the cops coming over so periodically worried her, now she just accepted as if it was everyday life. Well I guess living in this section of the city would do that to someone.
Polishing off the last drags of her hot chocolate Amy rinsed the cup out and turned off the lights and the TV. Tiredly she shuffled into her bedroom her whole body feeling sore, tired and stiff.
Without even undressing Amy flopped down onto her small bed in the center of her room and dozed off relatively quickly. The last thing she heard was the wail of the sirens and even those haunted her nightmares as she slept.
A/N: Hope it was ok guys! :S oooo can't wait to write certain chapters for this story :) so tell me what ya all thought!