A/N I am still wide awake because of too much coffee, I am still sad for all the victims because of Yolanda(international name Haiyan) Kind of sucked with our government and donations not being recieved by the victim. But still to divert myself not to be angry better to do update. Hope you enjoy.

"I don't know what to think anymore" Shingyouji whispered as he heaved a sigh. He bit his lips and found the cry. Cry yeah right. He let out a faint chuckle, he must be the craziest person alive. Right now, he wished the reason why he wanted to tear p is because he is confused he doesn't know what to do or what to think. He hoped that it's because he doesn't know wat to do or what to think. He hoped that it's because he doesn't know what to do or what to think. He hoped that's because he can't find a proper basis on why he's being like this, why he's feeling that way. He prayed it was thw case, but he certainly know that it's not.

He had no idea just how deep this emotion might be but he's certain on one thing. He likes Misu.

Not the kind of like that a friend bestowed for his friend, or a little brother to an older brother. No it's definitely likt that. it was more. He feels for Misu, he feels for him to the point that he fills up all his days. Like when he's around, Shingyouji feels nothing but happiness, no sorrows, no troubles only that gladness and contentment. Being with Misu is like living in a world filled with comics and strawberries, no bullies who will ever dare to hurt him, because there's one certain guy who's always ready to protect. That's exactly how he feels when he's close to the older man. A certain feeling he never felt with anyone. No one not even to Ikuta.

He groaned as he buried his face on his palms. How can he even face Misu after this? He was so busy contemplating on what he would do when he felt a soft poke on his hands. He peeked form his covered face and found a cute little girl staring at him, her head tilted a bit to the left, as if wondering what had happened to him,

"Ojiichan… are you okay?, came the tiny voice and Shingyouji let out a faint chuckle. He wished he could answer the girl's question with a confident yes. He removed his hands from his face and smiled to the little. "Am I too old to be an ojiichan? Just call me oniichan.", he uttered with a pout and the girl giggled with it. Seeing the little girl's face cleareare, he noticed that it's the same girl he saw first time he visited the place where Ikuta worked. It's the girl with puffy cheeks, milky white skin and expressive eyes.

"You like sad oniichan, you look upset, your shoulders are down like this and your lips are curved downward!" the little girl voiced her observations, making a very good and very cute imitation of Shingyouji. He chuckled loud this time, loving the confuse look on the little girl's pretty face. How he wished that his problem is as petty as hers.

"Don't mind oniichan, he'll be okay…" I wish. The little girl looked like she wants to press more on the topic when Ikuta caught both of their attention.

"Am I interrupting something in here?" he asked, a warm smile in his handsome face.

"hai! I'm courting this young lady and you came barging in, ruining our moment!" he teased his senpai and Ikuta chuckled and the little girl smiled sheepishly.

"I'm too young to be courted oniichan!", she pouted and puffed her already bulbous cheeks. "But if you want… you can wait for me! Fifteen more years!" the girl beamed and the two giggled with it.

Won't I be old by then? Would you still want me after that?" Shingyouji asked and the girl frowned a little.

"You must be old then…" she replied.

"Alright little missy… I don't want to spoil your moment but your sensei is looking for you." Ikuta uttered and points at his co-teacher who's waving not too far from them. The little girl belongs to the nursery class, a year younger on Ikuta's kindergartners. The little girl gasped as she quickly ran towards her teacher, but not before bidding goodbye to Shingyouji and Ikuta.

"That girl is really cute…" Shingyouji uttered as they watched the little girl hopped her way towards her other classmates.

"Don't tell me you are serious with that little girl?" ikuta teased him and Shingyouji scoffed with it. "But he's right though…"

"That she's you young to be courted?" The younger mine asked with a sly smile.

"Not that baka!", Ikuta replied, "I mean the part when she said that you look sad, is there something wrong?" he asked, now sporting an expression of fret.

"Shingyouji drew a deep breath before leaning on his chair. "Something…happened." He answered. Ikuta waited for Shingyouji to say something else but he didn't, and it doesn't seem like he will. He bit his lip as he think of ways for the other to open up or enliven at least when an idea crossed his mind.

"Hey you have no school today right?" he uttered.

"Senpai what do you have in mind?" Shingyouji raised his head to look straight on Ikuta's face.

"You'll see" he said as he winked at his former kouhai. "Class ends before lunch, we'll be there in no time." He said as he asked the younger man to wait for him while he is attending his students. Shingyouji on the other hand only wonder what his senpai is up to.

"I should have known you are capable of coming up with things like this." Shingyouji eyed Ikuta meaningfully and he just grinned.

"Well I kinda missed this place!" he uttered. They were currently standing in the quite huge soccer field, the younger knew that Ikuta was once a football varsity this place is where they went when their old school had a football game and they won, that same place holds a special memory of their younger years.

"So… are you ready?", Ikuta then asked placing his foot above the soccer ball on the ground.

"The question is are YOU ready?" Shingyouji answered, the tone of confidence made Ikuta cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm won't show any mercy even if you're my favorite senpai." He said, stepping back a little as he readied himself for his first kick.

"I'm not expecting you to." Ikuta smirked and Shingyouji scoffed.

"Then… game on!, he said as he aimed for his first goal.

After playing they decided to rest. Ikuta turned his head to survey the face of his senpai on that faint light and he can see him staring up into the darkening sky, his facial expression somehow resembles the state of the sky he's looking at. He saw him sniffed a little and he can tell that the younger man's somewhat not feeling well.

"Why does it have to be that way? Why do some things change, why do feelings have to grow? Why can't it just be the way it originally was? Wouldn't it be more peaceful and less frustrating?, he asked and yet Ikuta knows that the younger man doesn't probed those questions to be answered, but rather, to just let it out.

"Or contrary, if change is really inevitable, why do some things stayed the same?why do there are feelings who can't be forgotten? Why do there are emotions you can't just get over with it, even through the years?, Shingyouji placed an arm over his eyes and Ikuta is tactful enough to know that his friend is crying. "Why do I have to feel this way?"

"Kane-chan…" was all he can managed to voice out.

"I don't know what to think anymore…," and with that, he let out a soft whimper, so soft that even Ikuta beside him missed it. The cry is just for himself to know, the hurt is for himself to feel. It is all his alone, unintentionally… unshared

"Where have you been?"

it's the first question that greeted Shingyouji the moment he walked in inside the school. What's more aggravating is, it came to that person he least desired seeing as of now, Misu.

"Shingyouji… where have you been?" he asked again and the younger man just silently walk with his head bowed down and not meeting the other's eyes, he approached his room not noticing the older man followed him.

"Do you know what time is it?" Shingyouji subtly glance to his watch, thirty minutes before 11 "It's a good thing Akaike was able to oversee this, you can be suspended for missing the curfew, and you didn't showed up this afternoon we had an agreement to meet in the council office and you weren't answering my calls!, Misu exclaimed, this raising his voice a bit from the lack of reaction he's getting from Shingyouji. The other guy just look for his key opening the door, not paying attention to MIsu.

"Shingyouji, I'm talking to you, I'm asking you where the hell have you been?" Misu said firmly, the younger man could trace the hint of authority in there, like teliing him he should definitely answer right away.

"I'm with Ikuta-senpai and we went to some place." He said flatly before walking his way towards his room but Misu immediately grabbed his hand and stopped him from entering his room, much to his annoyance. Actually Misu could just have asked nicely but he felt Misu was a little rude for him to answer him properly.

"Why are you always with him?!" Misu exclaimed. He just doesn't get it why the younger man always spend his weekends and almost freetim with Ikuta.

"Arata-san, I'm tired." He answered plainly, to avoid further argument or because he's really weary, he doesn't know.

"Answer me first! Why are you with him, did you confess to him? Are you two in a relationship?, "He asked over and over as he tugged on Shingyouji's arm.

"Why didn't you inform me that you're with him, and you are not answering my calls, you should have told me you will be late."

"And why would I even do that?! Are you my mother or my father?! You are not even my boyfriend so don't sound like a nagging lover interrogating his wife or whatever! Shingyouji yelled back he himself was surprise with his outburts, he felt how the older man's grip on his arm loosens up.

"Arata-san I…"

"No… I am so sorry, I just don't want you to be in trouble sorry for snapping out."

"No it's…"

"Better go to your room now, like I said Akaike already fixed this, you're roommate might be worried I better go to my room."

"Arata-san." He called the older man.

"You might be my friend but that was all. You weren't my father nor lover for that matter… I don't need to tell you everything I do or about to…" he gulped as he tried to flaunt a blank face. "I appreciate your concern but my affairs… are non of you business." He uttered without waiting for the other to react, he walked straight to his room and shut the door, holding his chest as he did so.

Shingyouji leaned on the door for quite some time before walking sllowly towards the bed, lying on his tummy with his face buried on his pillow. He let out a disgruntled groan afterwards, a groan which is muffled right away by his fluffy pillow.

He knew how much his words pierced Misu but he knows there's nothing he can do. He like Misu, he likes his friend, he's currently in the state where he had no idea on what he's supposed to do.

The sane part of his brain tells him to terminate those feelings like how he did it before, but he knows it's easier said than done. He managed to set aside his feelings before because he haven't met the caring Misu he knew now, the Misu who's always there whenever he needs him, who he not need to call out to yet appears in front of him right away despite his busy council works.

They are friends, he is a respected senpai, and Shingyouji is afraid to face rejection.

He rather has Misu to be his friend forever than living with a life without him, since he knows a failed confession leads to avoidance and awkwardness. So he knows he had to forget this insanity, he got to stop this, and he had the best idea how.

On the other side of the room, it took Misu forever before finding strength to move, and yet he must have been weak to do that he fell on his knees, Takumi immediately ran up to his roommate.

"Misu-kun are you okay?" he asked checking the other but as soon as he stared on the other's face, he felt the urge to cry.

Misu is in shock, yet his lips are trembling and tears are starting to form in the corner of his eyes. He then started to shake his head, and followed by a faint chuckle. He laughed, he was laughing… but as laughter goes, so did tears. Takumi who had never seen this side of his roommate could only comfort him by stroking his back.

"You know… when he asked me if I was his lover… for a moment… f-for a moment…" MIsu bit his bottom lip as another set of tears recklessly fell on his cheeks. "For a moment… I wanted to answer that Y-yes… I-I am…I-I've always been…, he said and wiped his eyes harshly, which is a vain attempt since the tears keep on coming. "I-I've been wanting to tell him that… I've been wanting for so long.. from the moment I found he doesn't remember me at all… I want to tell him what I felt for him that I regret telling those hurtful words before he got into that accident. When can Shingyouji remember me that the one love is me?He cried out and let out a sob he's been controlling since earlier. For the months that Shingyouji had amnesia, it's the first time Misu had an outburst, and Takumi cursed himself for the incapability to do anything.

"B-be strong Misu-kun, …j-just… be strong.," was all he could say, as he envelops his brooding roommate and classmate in his arms.

And that night was one of those loneliest night Shingyouji ever felt. He stayed up until dawn, not that he intended to do so but he can't help it… he knew starting tommorow everything between him and Misu will change.

A/N Okay I know failed angst, Misu breaking down, rude Shingyouji... what else? I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry in advance for some spelling here *pout* I am not good in angst actually I started just doing some because in AFF I had became more flexible in storyline and all. But I hope it paid off and please leave comments if you enjoyed it, criticism is welcome just don't be if you'll be rude please be in a nice way. For flamers get a life! kidding! just enjoy it okie? Hwaiting!