Finding a comfortable place as he leaned back on the taxi's back seat, Shingyouji stared outside of the window, watching the busy streets of Tokyo as he makes his way back to their dorm, he sighed for the umpteenth time that day, weariness visible in his face. He just met Ikuta earlier, killed time with nothing to do in particular except playing with that little girl he had grown fond of, yet he keeps forgetting to ask her name.

Somehow it helped him be occupied for a while, especially that he refused being bothered by thoughts of Misu. It's hard though, especially when the image of the older man when he left him earlier, he finally let his mind wander on the events that happened.

Letting out a deep breathe, Shingyouji gathered himself as he walked painfully slowly towards the student council room. The other was busy signing some school paper works. Misu smiled softly at him, loving the way he awkwardly shifted his gaze when their eyes met and bit his lip while playing with the hem of his polo shirt. Although taking too long to say what he wants, the fact that the younger approached him on his own is enough for Misu to be happy. It's an sign that Shingyouji is not avoiding him, even after all the confession and revelation. He sat properly and turned to the fidgeting younger man, looking to start the conversation. And so he did.

"You need something Shingyouji?" he asked softly.

"W-well… uhmm.. I-I was thinking..", he began and Misu moved closer to hear him clearly. "Anou.. about us.."

Misu frowned; he never thought Shingyouji is really thinking thoroughly about that matter. Not that he does;t want him to but the thing is he's not expecting him to do so. He thinks it's best for the younger man not to fret over it. He knows the issue is hard to ignore but making Shingyouji isn't really his cup of tea. Furthermore, he's also afraid what might be going on inside the younger's head. Deep inside he's scared he already came up with a conclusion even before he had given his best shot in winning Shingyouji's heart all over again. Misu for the first felt fear that the younger man might reject his love and stayed away from him. He can't take that.

Thinking that way, he can't help but voice it out. "Shingyouji please… I—"

"Can you tell me what we're like when we're together?!", He blurted out even before Misu could finish his sentence. The younger had his eyes shut as he said those, his hands clutched tightly at the hem of his shirt, his head slightly bowed down. He was really anxious on how to break it to Misu, and he think there's a high chance that he would faint any minute now so he just had to exclaim that out.

Misu on the other hand was taken aback, failing him to react faster than necessary. Sensing the lack of response, Shingyouji opened his eyes and slowly gazed at the older man. He blushed as he saw the other staring with an amuse expression, a soft smile curved to his lips.

"Do you really want to know?" Misu asked his heart fluttering for this is the first time Shingyouji had ever start to talk about this thing between the two of them. Shingyouji shyly nodded and Misu smiled once again motioning for Shingyouji to have his chair move nest to him.

They started off on how Misu and Shingyouji met when the latter was taking an exam where he was the one monitoring their class, where Sagara spotted him almost breaking down thinking the older man will report him. How he treat him in the school canteen, how Shingyouji surprisingly asked for his name, confessing to him he liked him. And how he finally studied to Shidou and starting following him, how he call him as his pet, until he realize his feelings in Tanabata Day if Gii hasn't planned for them to meet how they started gong out together, and how he tearfully decided to break-up with him knowing that he would graduate soon not thinking of the younger's feelings.

Shingyouji was close to tears as Misu continued talking and he listened silently, laughing and making a few remarks along the way. Misu talked about every memory, and the younger man can clearly see the happiness and regret in the older man;s eyes when he said those. The tone of bitterness could also be traced, and above all, the longing and sorrow he feels.

Shingyouji knows he promised he had to try, he knows he had considered taking a chance. He actually thinks it's the right ting to do but looking on how Misu talks now, seeing how his eyes sparkles when he talks about just how much they love each other, the younger man suddenly felt a nudge of fear. It's like they are madly in love, like they live for each other solely. This made Shingyouji scared of the burgeoning feeling. It's too strong, too powerful, and he thinks he can't handle it.

He was afraid he won;t be able to reciprocate the amount of love Misu has for him, and he has no idea until he'll have his memories back. He felt like he does;t deserve him. For him Misu is such a good man; he deserved to be love by someone who can embrace his love whole-heartedly.

Cutting the other from talking, he gazed at him with a cold expression and muttered heartlessly. "Gomen, I can't love you." And he stood up leaving Misu speechless and motionless.

Back to Shidou, cursing himself more inwardly, Shingyouji breathed out and closed his eyes. maybe he should take a rest. Maybe it's wrong that he had jumped on things even if he's not sure he's ready. Well, he thought he was, but apparently, it's not the case. So maybe he's indeed very much in love with Misu before, but it's not like that anymore.

As he walked along something caught his attention, he suddenly saw Misu and Sagara walking along the school and he immediately hides. Seeing the older man smiled to their former senpai and suddenly seeing them hugging before the other finally left he suddenly felt this weird feeling again. Suddenly he decided to talk with Misu again, let the awkwardness of facing each other again be handled later.

After Misu had his talk with Shingyouji and with Sagara-senpai encouraging him not to give up and just give the younger more time he decided to go to his room and rest for a while, good thing he'll be alone since his roommate will be staying with his boyfriend's room when he heard a knock on the door. Misu stands up, thinking it might be Takumi, as he opened it he was surprised to see Shingyouji.

"Shingyouji…"

"Liar…", it was cold, soft that Misu didn't catch what he was trying to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that?"

"Cheater." Shingyouji said through gritted teeth, a bit louder and enough for Misu to hear which made the latter cocked an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?," he heard it clearly but he has to check.

"You're a liar, and a cheater, and I hate you." He said with his eyes piercing on Misu. His eyes speak nothing but intense anger. Liar? Cheater? Just what he had done wrong?"

"Just what are you saying?" Misu asked him and Shingyouji, walked closer to him shutting the door of his room.

"Don;t you dare denying it, it was all clear to me! You have the guts to tell me you love me but you go cheating behind my back!" he exclaimed making Misu confuse even more.

"You know what I feel for you, What cheating are you talking about?"

"Oh spare me! You're a liar and a cheater, I no longer want to see you again!" Shingyouji said finally trying to walk away but Misu grabbed his arm and pinned him on the wall.

"THE HELL SHINGYOUJI WHAT ARE YOU—" But Misu's sentence hanged in mid-air as he met the tear stricken face of the younger man. He is biting his lips, his cheeks in a shade of pink, his eyes crying though he failed to notice it. Misu's softened at the sight. He was confuse, oh sure he is, with those accusations the younger man is throwing to him but he could never ignore a crying Shingyouji.

"Shingyouji…", he opted to touch his cheek but the younger was quick to slap his hand away.

"Don;t touch me.", he hissed. "You're a cheater", he glared at him.

"Just what are you saying? I didm;t cheat on you! I will say this once I'd rather die than do that!", he didm;t mean to yell but he did, he's just so frustrated.

"Oh yeah? But still you did! You're a liar and I hate you! I hate you!" He punched Misu's chest while the other struggle to hold his fists.

"Shingyouji please tell me what's wrong?"

"I hate you! Cheater!"

"Will you stop calling me a cheater? Believe me when I say I'll never leave you for anyone." He uttered, he held Shingyouji's hands to his chest, if only the younger knows how every thump of it beats only for him. If only he knows how much he's still willing to love him even he rejected his heart yesterday. He pledged to love Shingyouji and Shingyouji only, even if the other wouldn't want to be with him.

So why he is saying he cheated on him? Can't he see through him how much love he has for him?

Shingyouji's tears were endless and Misu's heart broke because he doesn't know the reason behind that. Clutching both Shingyouji's wrist on his one hand he reached for the other's cheek and wiped the tears away, then caressed it in a gentle way.

"Stop crying..." he whispered, as his eyes starting to heat up too. "Please… tell me what's wrong…" Misu's voice breaks but he doesn't care. Right now, knowing what others the younger man is what's more important. Stroking the other's face while waiting for an answer, Misu winced upon perforating stare the other is sending him through tears.

"Shingyouji, don't be like this..", he pleaded. "I—"

But his words were cut off as he felt a pair of lips crashed into his. Misu was surprise, the lips against him were aggressive, seeking for a response but he was too stunned to react. Like he's been paralysed, stock-still to do anything.

Shingyouji stop as he felt Misu not retorting. Pulling back to look on the other's eyes, he muttered a soft. "Arata-san…"

Seeing the other's blank face, the younger man pulled away completely but was surprise when Misu suddenly leaned forward, his thin lips chasing his plump ones. They engaged into a bottle of domination. It was both so unexpected and bizarre, no one was attempting to separate. Unblocking their lips for moment to catch some air, Misu stared ack at Shingyouji with a bewildered expression.

"Shingyouji—this…" he said through heavy breaths. He was dead perplexed. It's not like he doesn't like it but this is he first he saw Shingyouji act so aggressive, but why now? He had just pointed out to him that it's impossible for him to fall for him like before. Everything that's happening is confusing. Everything is just plain crazy.

"Shingyouji…"

But the rest that Misu has to say once again got cut when the younger anchored his arms on his neck, the same time Misu was surprise when Shingyouji moved closer to nibble slightly on his ear facing him once again.

"Love me…" he whispered provocatively, wanting to prove something, like indicating a sign of power and ownership of him, and that's all it took for Misu to smashed his lips into the other's, grabbed his legs and encircle it on his waist, then carry him towards his bed.

Screw his so-called realization that he's not in love with Misu, This day, right at this moment, Shingyouji will remind the other just whom he rightfully belongs to. He's selfish, oh yes he is.

A/N

Finally I am back was I missed? Just kidding I know I was not LOL! thought for the reader of this story thank you for patiently waiting I had been sick this past months and had been busy at work, thats why I had not time to update. I know I made Shingyouji undecided to what he wants. Feel free to leave comment if you love this chapter as for SMUT? Uhm I'll think about it but I guess that's were heading too ^^