A/N: This chapter I guess should be at M hahaha

Shingyouji knows he had already made his mind up regarding this issue on Misu. He knows he decided to decline his love. He already told thenolder man that he can't love him back. But unexpected turn of events happened and there he was, desperate to feel Misu's love and at the same tim, remind the other whom he rightfully belongs to.

It all started with seeing Misu hugged by his former senpai, he was shocked and this made him out of his mind. He contemplated first if he would pay attention to what he see but the fret got the better of him. He feels like what if Misu realized that he still love the other guy and not him. He broke his heart and now the other is trying perhaps to open his heart to someone. He cares for him and he loves him, although it's not enough to return his feelings.

Yet everything changed as soon as he see him with Sagara-senpai. The figure of Misu smiling returning the hug, he didn't know why but at that time all he wanted to do is haul his former senpai away from Misu and strangle him to death. He was furious, stupefied and more over, betrayed. Didn't Misu tell him he's in love with him?

"But you rejected him! You caused his heartbreak, remember?" his inner-self told him and Shingyouji knows he doesn't have the right to argue. It's true he couldn't make himself agree.

"It's still not right! I don't like what I see!" he uttered inwardly, and feeling the corner of his eyes heating up, he left the place with a heavy heart.

He was hurt badly. The tears kept on coming and he's frustrated because he couldn't find a way to make it stop, he was mad because he felt that Misu had lied to him. He knows he's acting unreasonable but as he couldn't help it. He can't deal with the older man is intimate with Sagara for that matter. The older had told him how much he loves him, showed him even. It's true that he didn't return his love but it doesn't mean he didn't believe him. He thought he owns Misu, that he'll be seeing him and him only.

And the painful truth struck him, like a slap in his face. He was not aware of how selfish he can be—until now.

He doesn't want Misu to look at anyone else besides him. As long as he will be able to prevent Misu from getting involved with other potential lovers, he would. He wants to be the center of the older man's world, the core of everything he does. He wants him to be only for him and him alone. He wants to be Misu's everything. Because to him, he's all that-and more.

Shingyouji took no notice of the overwhelming feeling that's he's been threathening to burst inside him as he grabbed Misu's nape and pulled him closer deepening the kiss as he struggled to feel more of the older. Ot was not his first kiss, but the feel of those lips he was currently indulging himself into, have been the same pair of lips he had always dreamed of kissing—unconsciously or not, he never knew. Misu's soft lips fit his plump once perfectly, both were aggressive and expressing a certain kind of need, both signifying hunger and longer, like they've been drying to do this ever since.

Lips still attached, they reached the bed and hitting the back of Shingyouji's knee, they fell into it, with Misu hovering above him. The kiss broke and both were panting for air, but that was the least of their concerns in that moment.

They both staring at each, yet none of them found the courage to speak. Both breathing heavily, Misu opened his mouth to say something but words failed him. He's clueless how to start a conversation, and additionally, clueless on what's happening between the two of them and on where they are heading to.

He won't deny he loved the kiss. Heck if there's someone who's extremely happy with the situation, it's him. No doubt about it. But he's confused on why the younger man is suddenly like this, and why he is accusing him of lying and cheating earlier? Rembering those, he opted to ask Shingyouji but was caught off-guard the moment he felt the younger caressing his cheek tenderly. At once, their eyes locked with ech other, like nothing else exist and matters but the two of them. Slowly the hand that's stroking his cheek made it's way to his jaw, to his neck, then to his nape, grabbing it and dragging him closer.

Misu was too hypnotized with Shingyouji's stare to object, they continued gazing at each other, their faces inching closer, mesmerized at the sparks reflecting in both orbs. As their noses touched, Shingyouji closed his eyes and so did Misu, sharing another kiss for the third time around. The questions were left unsaid, and Misu decided to save them for later. Because now there wasn't anything that mattered more to him than the way Shingyouji's lips merged perfectly into his.

It's been so long

That's what MIsu thought as he let himself be mesmerized by the taste of Shingyouji. It was months-ever since the accident happened and Shingyouji had lost his his memories. Misu almost lost all hope that will ever come to this again. Whatever miracle happened to Shingyouji for him to act like this, he only could thank the heavens for it.

Their tongues battled with each other, each fighting for dominance, with Misu winning in the end-as always. The younger gripped on the other's hair as he let him suck his tounge and taste every part of his mouth. The once sweet kiss turned sloppy, signifying how badly they are craving for each other right now. None of them is holding back. Both had stopped thinking if what they're doing is wrong, because in the long run of faded memories and roller coaster emotions, they've enevr felt more right than now. Time stopped, heaven and hell might freeze but Misu and Shingyouji couldn't care less.

Detaching his lips from the other, Misu showered Shingyouji's jaw with butterfly kisses, continuing to plant soft kisses all over his face. Both their eyes were closed, just feeling and savoring the moment right now. The trail of kisses reached the younger's neck, making him tilt his head slightly, to give better access and permission for Misu's sinful lips to drown him in an ocean of loving caresses. Shingyouji's hold on Misu's nape tightened. A small moan left his mouth, caused by the overpowering sensation of the older man's touches.

He instinctively inched his body closer to the man above him, wanting to feel more of the other, wanting to share more of this growing heat. Misu buried his face on his neck, nibbling and licking the skin softly before biting down quite hard, gaining him a gasp from the man beneath him. He waited for the other to protest, but there was none, so with one final lick on that certain spot he had marked, Misu tracked his way back to Shingyouji's lips, capturing his mouth in another kiss full of lust and desire. Greedy lips and tongues meeting over and over again, not able to get enough of each other.

When kissing didn't satisfy their needs any longer, Misu tugged at the hem of Shingyouji's shirt, which the other understood quickly. He helped the older to oull his shirt up. Their finger interwinde, making them shiver, as they got rid of the shirt. Their lips separated for a moment to pull the shirt off of Shingyouji completely before crashing into each other once again. Misu's hands explore the smoothness of SHingyouji's bare torso, slightly shaking as he was feeling it for the first time after months of immense tears and heartbreak. Shingyouji suddenly felt impatient too. The need to feel the older's skin was overwhelming. His hand left Misu's nape and started removing his polo.

Misu shivered as he felt Shingyouji's fingers brush the skin of his stomach and immediately obliged, pulling away for a moment to take his top off himself. The hungry look in Shingyouji's eyes once his eyes landed on Misu's upper body, made Misu groan, before he attacked Shingyouji's lips once again, never getting enough of them.

Well it's true, Shingyouji is his addiction, his guilty pleasure, his very own disease. There's definitely no medication, no rehab no cure for this overpowering craving he has for him.

The kiss broke with the necessity for oxygen becoming unbearable. Misu took the time to stare at Shingyouji. His SHingyouji is perfect! Hes perfect, like he had always been. Big doe eyes, cheeks tinted pink and his swollen lips parting slightly in a tempting way! Everything flawlessness. He worships all of Shingyouji.

Feeling emotional and still in disbelief with what's happening between the two of them now, Misu reached for Shingyouji's cheeks and caresses them softly, mirroring the younger's gesture earlier. Misu's eyes were filled with tremendous love and passion for the other. He's looking at him so gently and adoringly that Shingyouji wanted to cry. How can he deserve someone like Misu?

The hand caressing his cheeks went down, giving feather light touches to his neck, his chet, to his arms until it reaches his hand, interwining their fingers carefull. The older raised his hands and grought it to his lips, kissing it gently with his eyes closed as Shingyouji continue watching. The moment he opened his eyes, there was that unspoken promise of assurance and love that promised him the world. Misu hovered above him again, kissing his forehead, his nose and lastly his lips.

"Suki-desu", he heard him whiper and with that Shingyouji bit his lips to suppress the tears threatening to fall. He just encircled his arm around Misu's nape and buried his face on his neck. The older lets out a soft chuckle before showering the other's head with his little kisses.

The butterfly kisses went slowly on to the sensitive spot beneath his ear, the mark he left earlier on Shingyouji's smooth neck, his shoulder down to his broad chest. Shingyouji shivered and gasped slightly as Misu's fingers touched his nipples lightly and hesitantly. When the older was done with his careful exploration of Shingyouji's chest, peppering his upper body with pecks and love-bites, he decided to focus on the younger's already protruding nubs.

He cusked on it hungrily earning him a pleasured moan from the younger man. His fingers entangled with Misu's soft strands pulling on them softly. The older smiled and continued delighting him with his skilled tongue, biting the sensitive part occasionally then sotthing it afterwards. Addicted with the soft noises that left Shingyouji's mouth he repeated his actions on its twin and was rewarded with sets of heavenly moans from the man beneath him.

Satisfied with his works and with panting Shingyouji, Misu began slowly trailing his torso with his tongue, drawing small patterns down to his happy trail. He hesitated a bit since it felt like their first time all over again, but Shingyouji's moans encouraged him to undo the other's pants. He lowered the other's zipper but didn't take it of completely. Even though Shingyouji seems to be a willing victim; he still wants him to take the initiative. He wants to make sure if he's really okay with this. Misu caressed Shingyouji's inner thighs teasingly, making the younger part them for Misu to settle in between them. Misu looked down at the guy that possessed his heart, hoping for him to give him any sign to carry on.

Shingyouji was out of his mind. Right now, there's only one thing he wants and that's Misu. And with the memory of Sagara-senpai hugging him, his need to mark the other as his own, his possession grew even more. He's being self-centered and very childish but the hell he cares. Throwing his inhibitions overboard, he bucked his hips towards Misu and the two men groaned upon feeling how hard they both were.

Misu wasn;t stupid, he knew It was his cue. He slowly slid down Shingyouji's body while pulling his pants off of him in a very slow, teasing manner. Once the pants were off completely, Misu started kissing Shingyouji's foot, scrunching his nose jokingly as if taunting the younger of having a smelly feet. Shingyouji pouted and kicked Misu's face playfully which gained him another chuckle from the other. The mischievousness ends there anyway, when Misu's eyes caught the bulge hiding in SHingyouji's black-colored boxer. Immediately, lust and sensuality reigned and the flame started to spread in his body again.

Misu's eyes found Shingyouji's as he reached out to stroke the hardening member under the garment. They silently agree on taking everything nica and slow, wordless but meaningful.

Without breaking the eye contact, Misu lowered his head and give an experimental lick on Shingyouji's clothed member. The younger's breathing hitch as he stared at the other's brown orbs emitting passion and desire. He gave another lick before slowly removing the younger's boxers, revealing a semi-erected shaft that made Shingyouji blushed to his roots.

With Shingyouji naked as the day he was born, Misu was at it again, mesmerized and feeling dreamy upon the sight of his beloved Shingyouji. He knows he will never get used to it. No, not in a million years!

Upon seeing the shy expression Shingyouji is sporting, Misu placed his hand on the younger's hip caressing the protruding bone sensually, before tauntingly moving his fingers towards Shingyouji's treasure. The moment he gripped on it tightly, Shingyouji groaned, wanting to feel more of it.

Misu didn't disappoint him as he began stroking it in a slow pace at first until he once again addicted to Shingyouji's moans, awakening the craving to give more pleasure to Shingyouji. He pumped the smooth erection faster causing the younger to arch his back, flexing his muscles in his very own elegant way that Misu always loved. He couldn't take it anymore, he lowered his head and engulfed the wholeness of Shingyouji's stiff rod, gaining him a low growl from the other.

Shingyouji was getting crazy, with the warmness enveloping his member, and the tight know froming just below his tummy, he gripped tightly onto the bed sheet, feleing he's about to explode any moment. He untangled his fingers from the sheets to grip onto Misu's hair while the other kep on bobbing is head up and down on his member, fondling his balls and licking the whole length once in a while then swallowing it up once again. Shingyouji wasn't able to put up a fight against the overwhelming sensations that were flooding his body, with one last suck from the older he came and as usual took all of what he has to offer.

Shingyouji bit his lip in embarrassment as he watched Misu lick his own hand with remnants of SHingyouji's sticky white liquid in there. Silence reigns between them afterwards, both oblivious on the next thing to do, Misu feared that it'll all ened here but Shingyouji had other thoughts in his mind. He has still yet to prove his power over the older, has yet to claim him.

Tossing the coyness aside, he got a hold of Misu's waist and switched their positions with Misus back flat on his back. Misu looked like he's about to protest on whatever the younger has instore for him (not because he doesn't want it but because he thinks Shingyouji may not be ready) but he was silenced by Shingyouji's lips attacking his, suffocating whatever he has to say. So it'll really be a quiet ride for them.

Shingyouji continued kissing him while his hands busied himself on unbuttoning Misu's pants zipping it down, the younger smirked in the kiss feeling Misu's hard erection. He is naïve on how to make love with a man but pleasuring Misu got the best of him. He started on stroking it gently, while his other hand grabbed on the older's nape, deepening the kiss even more. He quickened his pace and Misu groaned, detaching his lips from Shingyouji to be able to breathe. The younger reached for the other's neck to nibble on it, biting it quite harshly as if marking a territory. He then did him faster and harder and Misu threw his head back, before crashing his lips to Shingyouji once again as he was seized with the extreme sensation. When thenolder bit his bottom lip and shivred all over his body, Shingyouji knew very well that he came, and he couldn't be anymore pleased with himself for a job well done.

And now it leaves them again silent on the next thing, Misu knows very well what is it and Shingyouji has an idea what and yet no one is daring to make a move. Misu had done it countless times but he's quite unsure how he'll break it to the younger man. Will he be willing to bottom or will he insist on topping like what he always did? Yet Misu feels he owes Shingyouji the chance to dominate if he wants to, he's willing to do anything. Besides, who's topping in a relationship had never really been an issue for him, he'll let Shingyouji be dominant of he wanted to. Who tops doesn't really matter, the important thing is they have each other.

Misu is willing to give away, and yet before he could make a move, Shingyouji had cupped his face and kissed him tenderly. The kiss is sweet and not as hungry as they had before, but very romantic nevertheless. For a moment Misu feels his Shingyouji is back, that same Shingyouji who loves him with all his heart and soul. Shingyouji broke the kiss but didn't let go, he pressed their foreheads together before murmuring but clearly.

"Take me…"

Misu was beyond shock. He even contemplated if he had heard it correctly or not. He was seeking explanation in SHingyouji's eyes but they only show encouragement and an assurance that what he heard was right. Misu looked at him sternly, giving him the chance to change his mind but Shingyouji was determined. He nodded hi head and hauled the older for another sweet kiss, and Misu lost it completely.

Shingyouji isn't sure if he's ready of what's yet to come but he known very well what's going to happen. He wasn't as innocent as some thought he was, he already knows how stuff like this works. He feels like this will be the first time he'll ever do this. Although he knows, they have done it already before but since his memory lost prevents him to remember, this will really be just like the first time.

Shingyouji felt a little scared. He knows it'll hurt and he doesn't know how he would take it. Misu's huge and he's not sure if it'll fit. He might break him and cause him enormous pain but he guessed he had no choice but to just take it all. With all the hardships and tears he had caused the other, Misu deserves this. And he doesn't known why but he has this certain feeling that he's terrified to break Misu in his own hands. The older is too precious to be taken by someone as unworthy as him.

SHingyouji watched as Misu stroked his own manhood, lubing his fingers with his very own cum and the younger can feel himself harden upon the sight. This way Misu is looking at him seductively isn't helping either, Shingyouji's desire grows even more.

Coating his fingers perfectly, Misu signed Shingyouji that he'll start so the other prepared himself and nodded his head. The older tenderly curcled Shingyouji's entrance, eliciting a frustrating moan by the younger, before he inserted his for-finger slowly. Shingyouji winced at the initial pain. Misu immediately distracted his lover with little kisses, cooing him as he stretches his muscle gently. He placed soft kisses all over the other's face, murmuring sweet nothings and "I love you's". shingyouji seemed to have relaxed with the sensation not even noticing that there were already three fingers moving in and out of his entrance.

"A-Arata san…nggh…" Shingyouji moaned as Misu's fingers caressed his insides, turning the pain into pleasure, making him moan and shiver beneath him. It was a new feeling for him, never did he imagined that sex can be as pleasurable as this.

Wanting to feel more, he gripped on Misu's arm, pleading to take him already. Misu chuckled slightly capturing the younger's lips in a sweet kiss.

"So impatient, Shingyouji." He murmured amused but nonetheless complied to his request.

He postioned himself infront of Shingyouji's entrance , smiling at him, Misu leaned forward and kisses his forehead tenderly, trailing over his lips before murmuring sweetly.

"I belong to you…"

And Shingyouji felt something huge penetrating and filling him to the brim. A tear escaped from his eyes as the pain was unbearable, but Misu was quick to coax him all over again. Whispered promises of more pleasure, apologizing whispers and pleads of love filled the room once again, followed by chaste kiss and soft caresses. It isn't the first time they had done it but it's still has the same effect on Misu. This is his most favorite place in the world, this is where he knows he rightfully belongs to and no one else.

Beneath the hurt that's been ripping Shingyouji apart, he somehow feels a certain kind of completeness, like coming to his very own sanctuary after a long tiring journey.

They've both reached home, and it couldn't get any better than this.

Sensing the other relaxed, Misu tried to move, painfully slow until the other fully get used to it. Eventually their craving intensifies and both feel the urge to go faster and harder, moving like their lives depends on it.

Misu's powerful thrusts were met by Shingyouji's bucking of hips with the same intensity. They both wanted this, both yearned for this. At that moment the motivation of owning Misu because of his own selfish reasons became meaningless. This time, Shingyouji felt like it's the right thing to happen, like they are meant to be with each other just like this.

Breathing heavily as they try to reach their peak, the two men had their eyes secured on each other the entire time. Both orbs show nothing but their tremendous feelings for each other. Maybe Shingyouji's not really doing this because of lust or whatever silly reasons he first thought he has. Maybe this happened because this is fate's own way to tell him that he had wanted to do this all along. That he might be in love with Misu all along.

Having to comprehend the nearing climax, they were at their faster speed and both were screaming their names over and over. The intertwined their fingers as Misu's one last thrust made the both reached their peak, seeing a piece of their own heaven as they call out each other's names.

Misu buried his face on Shingyouji's neck as they tried to calm down their breathing. Chest palpitating against chest, Misu showered another butterfly kissed on the younger's neck before finding courage to face him.

Now that it's allover, where will they go from here?

Misu had wanted to ask but the moment their gazes met, they were once again caught on their own little world where nothing else exist but just the two of them. Shingyouji moaned upon the feel of Misu's member still between his legs and at once, both understood what will be the next things to do.

Tomorrow might be unclear but that is yet to be worried about. Today, right at this moment what matters the most is just Misu… just Shingyouji… that one bed… and certain memories they are about to make.

A/N: So this is the longest love scene I have ever done I tried to make it safe as possible. I hope you're not disappointed because honestly I sucked at this kind of writing. But I know I have readers that had always wanted me this kind of scene so this is for you guys and hope you leave comments. Enjoy this update. But in your opinion should i have let Shingyouji to top? What do you think guys? Maybe in the future ^^