Guitar strums greeted his ears as soon as he hit the play button. The familiar voice of that one he missed the most hovered beneath the air, as he started reading the short letter.
I'm telling you
I softly whisper
Tonight tonight
You are my angel
Arata-san I know it's sort of absurd. It's a bit a rush since I've only finished and recorded the song overnight. I asked for Sachi-senpai's help with the guitar, I'm still learning, so I apologize if it wasn't that good, I tried my best though. For you ^^
I love you
We will become one
Tonight tonight
I just say...
I know I've caused you pain and I don't know how will I even start making up.
Wherever you are, I always make you smile
Wherever you are, I'm always by your side
Whatever you say, you're always on my mind
I promise you "forever" right now
I wish I could take your heartache away in a snap. I feel so insecure because I know right now, I don't deserve someone as precious as you. If only I could turn back the time and be the Shingyouji you fell in love with, that Shingyouji that would never dare to hurt you. I feel so bad about myself, it's clear how much I'm so unworthy for your love.
I don't need a reason
I just want you baby
Alright alright
Day after day
But even if it's like that, will you still hang on to me? Because I don't think I could ever survive without you near, without you here with me.
We still have a long journey ahead
Please always, always,
until death, stay with me
We carry on...
You made me see the world in a different and happier perspective. You're still cold and rude but you wouldn't be Arata-san if you're not like that My Arata-san. Will you still permit me to call you that? I'm happy I met you, never did I regret that fact and if God will alow it, I wish I would meet you again in my next life. Because I'm always willing to give anything… anything just to be with you.
Wherever you are, I always make you smile
Wherever you are, I'm always by your side
Whatever you say, you're always on my mind
I promise you "forever" right now
You're my personal definition of perfection, and I will do my best to be the guy that will deserve you. To be the man that you won't make you cry, to be the man who'll be there for you the time you needed me the most, or even if you just want someone to sit beside you. I'll be the man you loved, and the man you'll keep on loving till the end. I know I'm not in the position to claim that pose now, but if you allow me, I have my whole lifetime to prove it to you.
And should I start with this little something I prepared for you? Meet me at this place once you read this. I don't know if you will still consider after all that I've done but… I'll be waiting.
And I don't think if you still haven't figure this out up to now, but I like to say it anyway.
Thank and I love you.
KS
Attached with the letter is an address of a place that if Misu's memories serve him right, four or five blocks from his hotel. Good thing he had spent a fair amount of time in Taiwan, making him familiar with the city because of it. He stared at the letter, and the he hit on the replay button for the song to play all over again. Re-reading the letter over and over, and yet he still can't comprehend what everything is about.
But there's one thing that makes the most sense out of it. And it goes with the last three words in that letter.
…I love you
It's the only thing that registered in his bewildered mind yet at the same time, it's the same phrase that made the letter more confusing than it already is.
Is this implying what he thinks it does?
Everything seems surreal, seems too good to be true. There were questions in his head and there is this tiny bit of hope on what this is all about. He looked at the letter once again and then abruptly, he stood up, grabbing his keys he tossed earlier on the centre table, his coat and the CD. He then headed for the door, reading the address over and over as he think of the right path to get there in the fastest way.
He opened his door to head out only to stopped in surprise as he found Sachi in his front door, the violinist's finger raised as if intending to buzz on his door bell.
"Oh. Misu! I was just about to ring you." He uttered and beamed at Misu.
"Sachi? What's with the—"
"ARATA-SAN!"
It was all too sudden.
There's just this certain person who dashed beside Sachi from behind, the next thing he knew, a certain guy thrown himself in his embrace. He was sniffing and quite shivering as he buried his face on Misu's chest, his arms possessively wrapped on Misu's neck and his whole body is nothing but wet.
"Well I told him he should change first, but he was having tantrums and insisting that he needs to see you. He started crying and whining which is totally uhm attention seeking, so I brought him here." He explained as to why Shingyouji is soaking wet.
To say that Misu is surprise will be an understatement, because right at that moment, he's in a complete shock that he doesn't even know what to to do. It was like he's been rooted on the spot, too flabbergasted to say anything, or even make a move.
He was brought back to his reverie however, the moment he heard Shingyouji sobbing.
"Shingyouji?", he called, he was a bit uncertain though.
The younger man raised his head a bit, his swollen red eyes meeting Misu's worried brown ones. Once he could see the other's handsome face clearly, Shingyouji bit his bottom lip and started to shed tears once again, tightening his hold on the other's neck as he now buried his face on the curve of the older guy's neck.
"Hey…" Misu cooed, never in his imagination did he though that his and Shingyouji's meeting will be like this. Life is indeed full of surprises. He wrapped his arms on the other's waist, then draw circles on the other's back as a form soothing, not minding if he himself got wet too in the process.
The keys, the letter and the CD were all left forgotten, they fell on the floor the moment he turned the other's embrace.
"I-I'm sorry Arata-san… I-I was r-right… I knew it all along that I-I don't deserve your love… I-I'm such a failure Arata-san… I don't deserve you.." Shingyouji's voice was almost muffled by Misu's neck but the older guy had heard it all, he didn't like the way Shingyouji's voice is breaking as the time went on, indicating that the younger guy is crying really hard.
"Shingyouji, what's wrong?" he asked, bewildered as ever. He doesn't get it why Shingyouji is acting like this but impulse got the best of him and he could never ignore a crying Shingyouji, so just as much as he's befuddled at the moment, he at the same time make sure to try and calm the other boy down.
"I-I'm such a failure…" Shingyouji started as he gripped on Misu much tighter, if that's even possible. "I actually planned something for you but stupid me didn't thought of the stupid rain and everything just turned into stupid I don't know what to do anymore!" Shingyouji howled the first time he did in years. Yes Shingyouji cried a lot but he cried in silence most of the time. He let the tears flow but he always tried to hold back the words, so it's kind of new seeing him bawling like a little kid like this.
"I-I was aiming for a romantic approach. I-I'm not trying to be cheesy but I was thinking we could have at least an official date together instead of waiting on summer like you asked me to when we are in the dressing room back in Tanabata days. I want to wear the polo shirt you gave me back then but I was not even able to bring it because I was so stupid!
I want to exert effort because you deserve it, but I still failed! I'm a loser!" he continued and cries even more.
Shingyouji was a weeping mess and as much as he wanted to pacify the other, something caught Misu's attention.
I was thinking we could have at least an official date together instead of waiting on summer like you asked me to when we are in the dressing room back in Tanabata days. I want to wear the polo shirt you gave me back then but I was not even able to bring it because I was so stupid!
Well he indeed talked about their date during Tanabata, but he did not mention about the shirt he bought for him and about him asking the younger man to officially date on summer.
"I was so stupid, I even wished I didn't remember all that now so I wouldn't be insecure! You were so good to me, I feel so worthless!" the younger man kept on and that Misu had his eyes wide.
"Wait, Shingyouji…" he asked as he pushed the younger gently to see his face. "You, you remembered?"
Shingyouji bit his lip to suppress the impending sob, but he failed to do so and cried it out loud. He threw his arms on Misu's neck once again, crying and feeling oh so guilty and ashamed of himself.
"I'm sorry, Im' sorry Arata-san. I was terrible, I hurt you, I even flirt with Ikuta-senpai on purpose just to get rid with those indescribable feelings I have for you. I should have known all along that it has been my heart that's telling me that I indeed love you. I love you Arata-san, I love you… and I'm really sorry." Shingyouji kept on crying, he was sniffing and sobbing as he hugged Misu closer than before, afraid that the other will disappear once he let go.
"You remembered." Misu whispered.
"I do, I remembered! And I'm sorry! I love you so much! It may be too much to ask after all the heartache I caused you but…" Shingyouji let go of Misu to hold his hands and star deep into his eyes, pleading, "Please don't leave me…" he said in a faint murmur and Misu could really make out with the desperation and insecurity lingering in his voice.
He wanted to answer him back, but Misu was too overwhelmed, that the only thing he could actually voiced out is that one fact had registered in his mind.
"You remembered…" he said in a low voice, a small smile creeping off his face as his eyes starting to get misty.
"Y-yes, yes I", All of Shingyouji's words came in halt the moment Misu's palm feel the softness of his cheek, caressing it in a tender way as his eyes speak a thousand emotion, yet out of it one feeling stood out…longing… and then love.
At once Shingyouji understood. He let silence reigned between them as Misu leaned in close, cupping Shingyouji's face and the younger face his own hands over the other's.
"You remembered…" Misu spoke softly as their foreheads touch.
"I do… I remember you…" Shingyouji answered, love and relief reflecting both in their hazy eyes. "I remember you… My Arata-san…"
And just like a movie clip, everything appeared before Misu's eyes. The day before the accident, how he unintentionally hurt Shingyouji, on how he was all so nervous, on how he almost die when he saw him lifeless on the hospital bed, on how he let out a sigh of relief when he woke up, and how his heart broke when he found out he had amnesia. He watched on how hard it was for him to content himself on just looking over Shingyouji, not being able to touch him, hug him, or kiss him like he always does, on how he patiently helped him remembered, on how in some ways he had learned to enjoy and reminisce the child-like state of Shingyouji. He saw how his world shambles down when Ikuta came into the picture, on how Shingyouji bluntly express how much he had missed and like Ikuta on how he practically chooses Ikuta over him, on how Shingyouji had directly told him to leave him alone and stopped meddling on with his life. He saw how he broke into pieces when Shigyouji started avoiding him and on how he turned him down even after he came to know that they were indeed together. Then there was the unexpected lovemaking, and Shingyouji's disappearance after. Everything flashed in front of his eyes until it leads it back as to where they are now, in front of each other, faces millimeters away, eyes in tears but they both know that the hardest part is already over.
Now they can confidently say that they finally found the way back home, back in each other's arms.
"Gomen, Arata-san…" Shingyouji, uttered foreheads still touching Misu shook his head lightly, he smiled at Misu, those were not the words he wants to hear as of now.
Shingyouji smiled back. Again, he understood.
He pressed Misu's hands beneath his as he bowed down for a little while before meeting the other's eyes once again, promises, apologies and his never love for the other mirroring in his eyes.
"I love you…" he said and Misu smiled before closing the distance between their lips, hauling Shingyouji with him inside his hotel room and closing the door. That moment nothing really exist but themselves, and the world disappeared once again.
A minute before the door close, Sachi who had witness everything still can't believe those things could really happen in real life.
"So those things could really happen in real life huh?" he muttered to himself as he punched on the elevator button.
Shingyouji's arms snaked on Misu's nape, while the older find its way on the other's hip. He grabbed the younger's lower back and lifted it up making him instinctively wrapped his legs around his waist. He pressed Shingyouji's back on the door as he indulged himself on the other's sweet flavor. He tastes his mouth, devouring on that lovely cavern he can now proudly claim as his. Not like he had lost possession of it, it has been his all along. Shingyouji had been his all along.
"I-I'm back…" Shingyouji uttered still panting after the parting of their lips.
Misu smiled as he pressed their foreheads together once again. "Welcome home then" he whispered before pecking on the other's lips. He would love to spoil himself with his lover's addicting lips over and over but noticing the puddles Shingyouji had already created for being so wet, and on how he himself was already dripping too, he secured Shingyouji in his arms and heads for the bathroom.
"You've been to you mother's house?" Misu asked as he let his fingers brushed on the other's locks as the younger played with the bubbles around him. They were now in the bath tub, Misu's body pressed on the cold tile whilst Shingyouji is on his lap.
"Yes and you would love the reason."
"Why?"
Shingyouji beamed to himself before blowing all the bubbles in his hands. He then turned and straddles himself on Misu's lap both groaning a little upon the contact of their lower regions. If it's any given time Misu must have attack this precious guy before him but he's currently enjoying the cute expression Shingyouji is sporting, maybe he should have save his naught thoughts for later. After all they have all the time. Funny how he manages to remain his cool, or maybe it's because he had missed being with his Shingyouji nevertheless.
"We're legal." Shingyouji said proudly, Misu cocked an eyebrow.
"Huh?"
"We're legal. I told my mother were together."
"You did?!" Surprise is evident on his handsome face.
"yep."
"Just when did you remem—"
"Ahh no, I made it before I regain my memories. You see I want to be the best for you… and I guess I could start by showing you that I'm not ashamed of what we have." Shingyouji uttered shyly, bowing down a bit as he tried to hide the shade of pink that's creeping on his cheeks.
"And she said…?"
"Well she said it's fine, as long as I'm happy, so you better take care of me!" Shingyouji warned cutely and Misu chuckled tightening his hold on the other's waist even more.
"I'll be more willing to do so. So we will tell my parents on of these days?"
"Yeah."
There was a moment of silence. Shingyouji had his head resting on Misu's shoulder as they feel each other's heartbeat.
"You know…" Misu spoke. "I was wondering why you keep saying you don't deserve me. If there's someone who's undeserving here, it would be me. Because I think no one could ever match someone who's as perfect as you.
"No! that's not true! You're the perfect one! You're handsome, you're talented, you're intelligent! You're prefect in every way and there's now way I could match up with that!" Shingyouji reasoned out as he leveled his face same with Misu, his expression earnest and trying to make his point.
"You're perfect, you just don't realize you are." Misu remarked
"ARATA-SAN!"
Misu chuckled and pinched his lover's cheeks for his cuteness.
"Alright, alright we're perfect for each other okay? You and i… we're wonderfully just right…" the brunette answered, caressing the part he had pinched oh so lovingly. They were staring at each other for a good one and a half-minute with no words between them just gazing and getting lost with each other's eyes.
"Arigatou Arata-san… for never giving up on me…" Shingyouji stated after some time, combing Misu's dark brown hair with his fingers gently.
Misu smiled as he caught on of the younger's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly as he eyed him.
"Thank you too… for finding your way back… to me," he whispered and the other's eyes turned hazy once again. He holds on tightly to Misu, the older burying his face on the crook of his neck as Shingyouji tear up a little.
"I almost thought of giving up…" Shingyouji said, insecurity lacing on his words.
"But you didn't…"
"Yeah… and for the record… I've love you even before I recollect everything back. Maybe…" he murmured "maybe I just love you so so much… that my brain intuitively told me not to give up."
"I'm glad… because I love you so much more." Silly smiles crossed their faces as Shingyouji closed the gap and let themselves got hooked on each other again. It was a long, needy kiss, both of them inching closer to each other till no space existed between them.
"You know…" Shingyouji started as they continue kissing. "I promised everyone I should be back…" he gasped a little when Misu bit on his chin, before consuming his lips all over again. "…tomorrow morning…"
"Can't you come back the next day?... or the day after… or next week… can you just go home… with me?" Misu answered in between his kisses and nibbles, his naughty hands already busy feeling the milky white skin on Shingyouji's back.
"C-can't… ahhh." Shingyouji bit his bottom lip to prevent another moan. "I wasn't suppose to be here in the first place…"_I…ahhh, A-Arata-san…I-I really have to.. g-go…"
Shingyouji had his head already tilted sideward since Misu was busy nibbling in there, but then he felt the ministration stop. His eyes searched for Misu's and when he found them, he saw fear and uncertainty reflecting in it.
"Hey…" he whispered.
"I was just scared."
And Shingyouji need not further explanations to make him understand. Promptly, he already knew. And his heart hurt seeing Misu worried like this.
"Arata-san…" he began leaving trails of soft kisses all over the older's face. "If there's one thing I've proven the most after all this it's that the fact our love… is powerful. Too powerful that something as complicated as amnesia didn't even stop ourselves from falling so deeply, passionately and madly in love with each other. Our hearts find their way back to each other, our hearts know where our home is…" he whispered, please to himself upon seeing the small smile and the expression of relief on his boyfriend's face.
"I love you…" Misu whispered as he resumed on kissing his lover.
"I love you too… words will never be enough to explain how much…"
"Then… would you show me?" Shingyouji did not miss the playful tone beneath his lover's words and when he checked on his face he already knows he's in for a long night.
"The beastly Arata-san is back…" he uttered, rolling his eyes. "But not that I complaint nonetheless." He added cheekily before pressing his body closer to his boyfriend's. Misu groaned upon the contact, he had missed this, the feeling of being mischievous like this.
He secured Shingyouji tightly on his arms, turning the shower on to wash all those bubbles and soap in their bodies as their lips merges once again under the water, once they're both soap-free, Misu turned the shower off and let the younger reached for a towel, letting him wiped the droplets out of their body as he made their way towards the bed, they're still a bit wet when they arrived at it but both were too busy to care.
Misu hovered above him, showering butterfly kissed all over his face before leaving once sweet chaste kiss on his lips.
"I'm gonna love you all night…" he murmured seductively.
"I'm a willing victim." Shingyouji answered, the want on Misu's eyes replicating on his, to which the older guy smirked.
"I wanna love you~" were the last words that was heard before moans and groans reverberated the room.
It has been a long journey for the two. The road wasn't as smooth as they opt to be though, there were bumps, obstacles and problems along the way. But when two hearts are just meant to be, no troubles or hindrances can ever separate them.
Misu and Shingyouji are destined to be together. They are so meant for each other that they didn't even let their big difference or Shingyouji's memory lost becomes an issue. For love sees no gender, no age, no limits nor boundaries. Love will teach you to do things you yourself are not aware you are capable of. Love gives you a reason to live, to be selfless, to have someone you know worth living for.
Solely they're good, but together they are the best. And they have the eternity to prove just how much they deserve each other. The future isn't clear but if there's one thing that they are both sure of, it's the fact that they have no plans of letting go. Misu is Shingyouji's and Shingyouji is Misu's. They belong to each other and no one could take that away.
A/N Lame ending Mianhae
And uhh smut part... sorry maybe next time I try a full in the future ^^
I hope you don;t feel uncomfortable for me exploring more emotions from Misu and Shingyouji, I know most of you are still used to what tey are in movies you watched and manga you read so I say Miahae in advance. Cheongmal Mianhae.(really sorry)
Actually I am now in process of doing the epilogue hopefully by next week?
But yes this is the final chapter, I hope you enjoy reading.
I want to thank june-chan for giving me the wonderful song that I include on the story which is Wherever You Are- by ONE OK ROCK I used the English Translation Lyrics.
I am almost lost of Japanese words I learn before due to being engrossed of learning Korean this past months Mianhae again.
I was actually thinking of either using the song by Jessica(SNSD)- The One Like You: watch?v=HFvBDaM7yEY
and If- Taeyeon(SNSD): watch?v=BRDCIvd1BKg but I just listen to them as I was writing this story. I hope you look forward for the epilogue. ^^ Annyeong! Saranghae!