A/N: And the second chapter everyone enjoy!
Gabriel reappeared looking down from high above Vatican Square. He gazed at the people aimlessly milling about taking pictures and pointing enthusiastically at the iconic church. His golden amber eyes took this all in and more as he heard the whispers and fervent prayers of the hundreds of thousands of people praying to him in earnest; asking for the most mundane of things and extending to the more extravagant. It still amazed him how some people could be so vain and uncaring.
Sighing, he watched, emotionless as one by one the people slowly dispersed from the square moving on to get some dinner most likely or to other plans or sight-seeing. It mattered little to him, as a light breeze whispered through his honey golden locks; he was invisible to them on this plain. They couldn't see him as he had chosen to remain concealed from their view, so he relaxed and leaned against one of the saints watching down with its stony eyed look.
Without warning, flashbacks of Amy's wrists popped into his brain and he closed his eyes frowning as the visions assaulted him like mega wave tsunamis. The fresh deep gash that marred the skin of one of her arms, furiously pulsing thick streams of blood that ran over the broken flesh, and into some of the deeper grooves, painting her pale skin like a tigers stripes. Then, the flashes of the other arm as he'd yanked back the sleeve covering her other wrist and saw the damage that she'd inflicted on herself in the past, he just couldn't bare it. He knew that Amy wasn't really what one might consider an emotionally strong person. She could handle things sure, but over the long haul she relied on those closest to her to cope.
Gabe shuddered as his mind took him back to the very first day that they had met. He remembered walking through the Crawford Hall grounds with the sun shining down brightly on him, lighting his eyes and hair up like a mini sun. As he'd walked casually taking in his new surroundings, a small girl sitting underneath a large tree had come into his view. Instantly, he knew that something was wrong as he drew closer to her and he found himself wanting to try and help her. Never did he think he would come face to face with such a captivating creature.
As she had looked up at him, his breath caught under the weight of her piercing blue eyes. They were so many different shades of blues that he had to compose himself before he made a fool of himself. Taking a deep breath, he quickly took in everything there was to know about her with this first glance. She was taller than the average female with a very slim body and long legs that were made for running or sprinting. Her golden hair was pale but shone brilliantly in the sunlight, under the dappled leaves of the trees giving her otherwise translucent skin more of a rosy colour. Her eyebrows lightly framed her face and her thin lips complimented the rest of her fine features. None stood out as much as they appeared to point you to look into her eyes and that's exactly what had taken Gabe's breath away. The depths of her blue eyes were entrancing, but now that he'd been pulled in, it became obvious that she had been crying. He knew in that instant that he would make it his life's mission to never be the cause of her tears.
He stood by her when it came to Missy, even telling the blonde off a few times for her. And just to be certain, he pulled a huge prank on her to get her to back off from Amy for good, hopefully. It had worked, but Missy was never one to stay down for long. Through thick and thin, he watched over her, taking some hits for her that she wasn't even aware of. He even went so far as to keep her hidden from other supernatural creatures, except for Jazz and Lance. Not to mention when that teacher made some kind of perverse move that left her having panic attacks, which didn't help with her trust issues, it had caused a major breaking point for him…someone had to die, literally.
Then she found out about him. Specifically, that he was trickster and basically she almost fainted from that revelation as it crowded into her brain. He was so scared that he would lose her for good, that she would look at him as a freak and shun him, or disown him, and for some reason he couldn't stand that thought. His heart constricted each and every single time he considered that possibility and deep inside his heart would clench painfully.
It was as if he knew, unconsciously maybe, but he knew that he just couldn't live without her, and the fact that he could lose her for good, right then and there sent icy chills down his spine. That very notion made him almost want to wipe her memory clean of his supernatural pedigree.
Before he could do that though, his hand hovered mere inches from her forehead as she lay there, out of it from his earlier touch. He couldn't do it. Even though it would mean a type of brand new slate for them, she would never know what he did or what he was, he couldn't do that to her. Not without her consent. While he would have felt better in the moment and less panicked, he would have carried that guilt for his whole life.
Clenching his fists by his side, Gabe opened his eyes and gazed out at the tall obelisk looming in front of him. He breathed deeply as he took a break from all of those emotionally draining moments of his past with Amy and allowed himself to cool off. He breathed a deep cleansing breath, like in yoga, even though he had no need for the air that filled his lungs, and slowly unclenched his fist. His mind unyielding to his desire to return to the present, returned back to his memories.
The day came, as he knew it would. Hunters had caught wind of his shenanigans around the school and came to investigate, and wouldn't you know who it was, Sam and Dean Winchester. What an honour. As far as humans went, these guys were higher than any king or queen that roamed the earth, in any time period. They had a big role to play yet, just maybe not for another few years.
He had walked with them, shown them the crime scene allowing them to do their thing, confident in the fact that he could get out of this easily. What he didn't count on, was Amy making friends with them. When he saw her that day, laughing and showing them various campus buildings, he seethed. Not because he was the jealous type. Well, he was, but not because of this! No, he was worried about the hunters. Amy might not know it, but he did, and those hunters could easily be misled or distracted.
Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
They had mistakenly thought that Amy was him, and stabbed her. He had felt her wound and the pain as if it were his own, and it took all his will power to stay strong and show a calming face for her so she didn't panic too badly. However, it was at that point that he realized for himself that the two of them didn't, and couldn't ever, have a future together.
He was a trickster, and she was a human. If she stayed with him, it would most certainly lead her to a dark place and eventually end in her death. Those two lines of thought and specifically that possibility of losing her for good made him stand resolutely in his decision to leave her. Not because he got tired of her, but because he wanted, no, he needed to keep her safe. The simple fact was that the best way to ensure her safety was to watch from afar. He had to leave her.
Of course, he had to convince Jazz and Lance that this was the best decision the three of them could make. It took a lot of convincing, some screaming, yelling, and cursing on Jazz's part, but eventually they had agreed that it was for the best. As long as it would keep her safe and well, they would do it. Even if it would break all of their hearts.
That night when he confronted the two brothers, and the older hunter...what was his name again? Tommy? He had made his peace, and as Dean Winchester drove the stake through his metaphorical heart, everything that he had created passed away in a quick shimmer of blue flames, and he had said goodbye to Amy.
To him there was no going back after that. That was it. He hadn't counted on Amy seeing him actually die. He'd never wanted that. Jazz told him a lot later that she had witnessed his 'demise', and he almost changed her into a cockroach. He was so mad, but he was able to work through it and try to let it go, eventually.
He realized that Amy had needed the finality that his 'death' offered in order to move on. Because of that, he was afforded the certainty that she wouldn't go looking for him under some false hope or pretense that he may still be alive. She didn't fully understand his powers at that time, and therefore she had no reason to think that he could have had a double.
It took him weeks but he eventually was able to let her go, and attempt to move on. The problem was he couldn't, he didn't want to. Secretly he would watch her; he knew she wasn't going to school anymore. She worked a meager job and could barely make ends meet, and because of that she lived in a very dangerous neighborhood. He knew who her boss was, her coworkers, and even the regulars in the small diner. Hell, he even disguised himself a few times and pretended to eat there without her knowledge, but he never knew about the one thing that really mattered, the cutting.
Had he had known that was going on, he would have jumped in immediately. He couldn't stand the idea of her hurting, even at her own hand, and there was only one reason that she would inflict that kind of suffering on herself. She had given up. It pained him to think about that, to know, that he was the reason she had given up on life. He knew she looked up to him, relied on him, maybe even loved him, and this was what he had done to her.
He wasn't mad at Amy when he ripped the sleeves of her sweater and saw her scars, old and new, faded and vivid. He was mad at himself, because he was to blame. He was the reason she had given up. He had taken himself, Jazz and Lance away from her hoping that it would keep her safe, and that she could live out a normal life with a husband and little babies, as well. Now he saw how wrong he had been, and he couldn't help the muffled sob that was wrenched from his throat.
And then, with Kali …. What was he even supposed to say about that? He screwed up big time and he knew it. He had probably lost any chance that he'd ever had with her, just after that one single act. One of her scars appeared to be at most, only a few days old. Realizing that she must have heard, or worse seen them, he bowed his head and wept.
It was his entire fault in the end.
"Wow you never cry; what the hell is wrong with you? Hmm losing your touch?"
Gabe's hands clenched all over again, and his eyes burned a fiery yellow that was brighter than the sun. Turning around he glared at the woman directly across from him with one eyebrow raised in the air in a mocking manner.
"Missy, I'm really not in the mood right now, and this isn't the time." Gabe gritted out through his perfectly even teeth.
Missy snorted as she walked over regally on her 7" heels. "Well, that's just too bad Gabriel. We have to talk, and you're going to want to hear what I have to tell you."
It was Gabe's turn to raise an eyebrow back at her, "Oh really, and why would that be?"
Missy shrugged her shoulders and stroked a hand casually over an old piece of the stone roof before hoisting herself up to sit on the ledge.
She crossed her legs demurely and batted her lashes at him before she replied, "I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't assume, but I thought since it was about your precious Amy maybe you would give a shit."
At the mention of Amy's name, he straightened up and his eyes widened slightly. She had his attention, and she knew it. One of the perks of knowing the archangel, as she grinned at him showing all of her white teeth and said, "Oh good, I'm glad that I have your full, undivided attention, finally."
A/N: So you kind of got some insight to Gabriel's thinking huh? Don't worry there will be more and I could have done better on this chapter so I hope I can pep it up next time with him :)