A/N: I can't seem to stop writing this particular version of the characters... Every time I think I'm done with this story, more chapters pop into my head, demanding to be written. At this point, the story will be at least eight chapters long. So, anyway, here's chapter 4.
Thank you very, very much to everyone who has reviewed so far, and to the wonderful BK2U, who has been beta-reading this story for me!
Chapter 4: Apartments
Tris looks sleepy and disheveled when she emerges from Tobias' bedroom. He smiles at her from where he's sitting on the couch, leaning over the map he has spread across the coffee table. They've been together for just over four months now, but he doesn't think he'll ever get used to how adorable she looks in his T-shirt, her bed-head making her look both taller and shorter at the same time.
"What are you doing?" she asks, blinking somewhat blearily at the map.
"Evaluating apartment locations." He doesn't elaborate, even though he knows she'll want an explanation.
She stares down for another moment before returning her gaze to him. "Is your lease running out?"
"No," he answers simply, doing his best to keep his voice steady, "but yours is. And mine doesn't have a specific renewal date – I just have to give a month's notice before leaving." He leans over more, running his index finger along the outline he drew on the map. "So, I figure that if we look for a place within this area, we'll be reasonably located for both of our jobs, and for the gym."
There's silence while she digests the words, clearly not sure that she's understanding him correctly in her sleepy state. "Tobias," she finally begins hesitantly, "are you suggesting we move in together?"
Her tone isn't what he'd hoped for, and he finds himself switching instinctively to plan B. "Actually, I'm saying that we already live together – in the most expensive and inconvenient way possible. I think we should fix that." He gives a small shrug, as if it's the most matter-of-fact statement in the world.
She opens her mouth, staring at him, before closing it again. "Either I really need coffee," she states flatly, "or something happened while I was sleeping, because I sure don't remember us living together."
He lets a smile trace his mouth. "Think about it, Tris. When is the last time we spent an entire day and night apart?"
The question clearly makes her pause, and she debates it for a good five seconds before admitting, "I don't remember."
Tobias nods. "Exactly. We spend every night together, even when we don't have sex. We have stuff at each other's apartments. We share a car. We don't make plans without including the other. We shop for both of us." He shrugs again. "We're living together."
Tapping the map, he adds, "But we're still paying for two apartments, and half the time we can't find stuff when we need it because it's in the other one. If we rented one apartment together instead, we could afford a bigger place and would still have more money left at the end of each month."
He gives her a hopeful look, but she seems unconvinced. Or maybe worse than that…. For a long moment, she evaluates him, and her lips purse more tightly the longer the stare lasts. "So, you're just being logical?" she finally asks. There's no way to miss the sour edge to her tone, and it makes him shift uncomfortably as he realizes that plan B is definitely backfiring.
He scratches the back of his neck, trying to think of how to fix this without abandoning the goal. "That's part of it," he murmurs, now staring fixedly at the map. He sighs. "But not most of it."
Now, it's his turn to be silent as she moves slowly around the coffee table, taking a careful seat next to him on the couch.
"You think it's too soon, don't you?" he mutters. He knows there's defeat in his tone, and he can't bring himself to look at her, unable to admit how much he wants this.
"I don't know." Her voice is thoughtful, but there's no way to ignore the edge of wariness in it that forms its own answer.
Maybe she's right. Tobias doesn't entirely know why he can't resist taking things to the next level with her. It's not like he ever had that desire with anyone else, but she does things to him that he didn't even know were possible, and it makes him keep wanting more. Honestly, he'd ask her to marry him right now if he thought it wouldn't scare her off. And that's from someone who never thought he'd get married.
Still, he knows better than to reveal those thoughts. Given the nerves she's showing just from the idea of living together, she's obviously not ready for more. Either she doesn't feel as strongly as he does, or she has other reasons to be nervous.
"Have you ever lived with anyone?" she asks him, her voice difficult to decipher. "I mean, other than your 'parents.'" He can hear the dislike in her tone when she mentions them.
"In college. Zeke was my roommate for the first couple of years, and then we shared an apartment for another few."
She nods. "But not with someone you were involved with?"
"No." He manages a lopsided smile, his eyes meeting hers fleetingly before moving away again. "There was no one I wanted to be around that much."
She bites her lip at the statement. Gently placing her hand on his, she traces his tendons while she thinks. "I do love you, Tobias. You know that. But the one time I lived with someone…it didn't turn out well."
The thought sends a deep fury pulsing through him, a reminder of the bastard who hurt her. He meets her eyes fully now, letting her see that he hates her abuser as much as she hates his.
"Tris," he starts, but she shakes her head, effectively shushing him.
"I know you're not like that, Tobias. I do. And I trust you – so much more than I've trusted anyone else I've dated. But part of me needs to know that I have a way out. I can't get trapped in a situation like…that…again. I just can't. And having separate apartments is that way out for me."
Slowly, he nods, understanding her hesitation now and realizing that it has little or nothing to do with him. He would have the same problem if he were to somehow end up living with a parent figure, no matter how good a person he thought that individual was.
His hand turns over on its own, his fingers twining with hers. "I can wait, Tris." He gives her a small, gentle smile. "I'm admittedly not good at that when it comes to you, but I'll do it anyway, for as long as you need."
Bringing her hand to his lips, he kisses it softly. The action seems to spur an idea in him, and he voices it before he can think twice. "Though, you know, we could always put the apartment under just my name, so I'd be the one to get the bill. That way, I'd be the one responsible if we fell behind on the rent, or if I trashed the place, or anything else. So, you could leave anytime, for any reason, if you needed."
Her lips part slightly, and he knows he's hit home. She's never revealed the full circumstances around what happened to her, but clearly she wasn't able to walk away easily.
He clears his throat before continuing. "And obviously, you'd still be working, and we'd have separate bank accounts, so you'd have money to leave if it ever came up."
She nods a little, looking torn, and he feels a spark of hope. But still, he knows there's one more thing he has to admit – something difficult.
"I need that, too," he says softly. "To be sure that you have a way out. I've spent so long trying to ensure I never become like my father, but I still worry about it sometimes." He swallows hard. "And I could never forgive myself if I did something like that to you. So, I need to know that you'll always be safe, no matter what."
The corner of his mouth lifts just a little before falling again. "That's why I keep telling you to continue your classes with Amar, even when you're learning from me, too. I want you to be able to beat the living crap out of me if I ever act like him."
She gives a short laugh, but he finds her gaze, and after a moment, she nods more seriously, realizing that he means it. "I will," she promises.
He nods, too, before reaching down and starting to fold the map to put it away. He's surprised when she places her hand on his again, stopping him this time.
"There's no harm in looking," she says quietly.
As their eyes hold each other's, he decides it's one of the best things he's ever heard.
"I'm getting too old to work this hard for pizza," Zeke complains as he plops his end of the couch down in the living room.
Tobias just gives him a look. "I didn't complain when I helped you and Shauna move."
"Yeah, yeah. What can I say? You're just a better person than I am."
Beside them, Shauna snorts as she carries a box toward the bedroom. Tobias isn't entirely sure whose side she's taking, and maybe Zeke isn't, either, since he doesn't question her on it.
Zeke's younger brother, Uriah, on the other hand, doesn't hesitate to speak up. "She's snorting because she knows that I'm the best man here."
Zeke rolls his eyes. "Give him that role at a wedding and he never stops using the title…."
Tobias can't help grinning at that. "Don't worry," he mutters quietly enough to avoid being overheard from the other room, where Tris and her best friend, Christina, are currently unpacking, "I'll give you that role at mine."
For several very long seconds, Zeke just stares at him, his jaw slightly agape. "Holy shit," he finally says, looking at his brother to make sure he heard correctly. "Did Four just indicate that he might actually get married someday?"
He looks out the window, as if checking whether pigs are flying past the building.
"Clearly, he's done too much lifting today," Uriah says, shaking his head solemnly. He looks at his brother with mock sadness. "Heat stroke is a terrible thing."
"Oh, come on," Tobias says, torn between annoyance and amusement. "I was never that anti-marriage." Was he?
"Yes, you were," both of his friends state in unison, so emphatically he can feel an answering redness rising up his face. Maybe he was…. After all, his parents didn't exactly leave him with a good impression of the institution, and he didn't have any close friends until college, and Zeke and Uriah's father is dead. When it comes down to it, he's never even seen a happy marriage, so it's not surprising that he never considered it to be a valid option for himself.
But there's no way to deny that he sees it differently now.
He's silent for a moment, facing his friends' questioning gazes, before he lifts a shoulder. "She's it for me. She really is."
The two brothers look at each other, smiles working their way onto both faces, before they step forward, clapping Tobias on the back.
"About damned time," Zeke mutters.
It takes the group the better part of the afternoon to get everything moved in from Tris' and Tobias' apartments. The two of them will still need to go back to their old places to clean, to make sure they get their damage deposits back, and there's still plenty of unpacking to do in the new place, but they relax anyway as they all sit around afterwards, eating pizza.
Their two groups of friends blend well, Tobias realizes, as he watches Uriah, Christina, and her boyfriend Will exchange jokes while Tris and Shauna talk. Still, he can't say he's sorry to see them all leave afterwards, giving him and Tris time alone in their new apartment.
They break the pizza boxes down for recycling and put the dishes into the dishwasher – something they're both excited to have – and stand there for a moment, admiring their kitchen.
"I can't believe we're actually here," Tris says, smiling softly. After all the places they considered, and her on-and-off nervousness about going through with the move, Tobias is pleased to see that she looks happy about their new reality. It draws a grin from deep inside him.
"It is a little surreal, isn't it?" He steps closer, wrapping his arms around her as he rests his forehead on hers. He loves holding her like this, taking in her scent and feeling her warmth against him. "Honestly, I never expected to do this with anyone."
"Yeah, I was definitely done with the whole concept," she admits with a wry laugh. "But you…." She sighs – more contentedly than not, he thinks. "You do things to me, Tobias."
His grin widens. "I do, huh?" Playfully running his nose down the side of her face, he kisses the sweet spot behind her ear. "What kind of things?"
She tilts her head to give him better access, clearly enjoying the attention he's now paying to her neck. "Perfectly innocent, G-rated ones, of course." He's on her collarbone now, and her words are a bit breathy as they trail off.
"Mmm, yes, of course." His hands find her hips, and he lifts her up, setting her deftly on the counter as his lips connect with hers, before trailing their way down again.
"You know," he murmurs in a deeper voice, "there's a tradition when a couple moves into a new place." His hands move under the hem of her shirt, running over the smooth skin beneath it. "They're supposed to make love in every room at least once. For luck."
"Luck, huh?" She reaches out, pulling his shirt off him easily. He returns the favor, barely interrupting his contact with her in the process. "Well, we certainly wouldn't want to miss that chance, would we?"
"No point in tempting fate," he agrees soberly, moving his mouth slowly down her front. A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips as he pulls back just a little. "But seeing as we're in the kitchen…." His eyes meet hers with a mischievous glint. "Eating seems more appropriate."
She raises an amused eyebrow. "Didn't we just do that?"
His fingers move to the button on her pants as his smirk widens. "Yes," he answers, his gaze now on her lower region while he leans her backwards, working her pants off her. "But I could definitely go for dessert."
"I didn't realize the tradition was supposed to be carried out all in one night," Tris gasps between heavy breaths as she flops back onto their bed, thoroughly sated.
Tobias' chuckle is deep. "Well, there are only four rooms," he answers, thinking back to their very first night together and to all the times they've repeated that particular number since then. Of course, it's usually more on Tris' part that they reach it, rather than his. At the age of thirty-three, it's not as easy for him to manage four performances in a night as it would have been when he was younger. Not that it ever came up then – there was no one to bring out that side of him the way Tris does.
Tonight, though, with this incredible woman in their apartment, it seemed impossible to get enough. And as they lie there afterwards, letting sleep slowly claim them, he doesn't think he's ever been happier.
Pulling her gently to him, he kisses her temple, letting his lips linger. "I love you, Tris."
Her smile speaks her own contentment as she snuggles deeper into his side. "I love you, too, Tobias."
A/N: Please take a moment to let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also, there's a poll on the fanfiction net Profile page for my Windchimed account (it doesn't display on the mobile version of the app, so you'll need to view it on your computer to see it), describing four storylines that I'm thinking about writing next. If you're interested, please take a moment to read them and to vote (if you don't have a fanfiction account, you can "vote" by letting me know your choices in a review). Thanks!