~Day 4 & 5~
-Xarki's Diary-
The past two days have been reasonably uneventful. I've gone on missions to Twilight Town and Wonderland to defeat Heartless and collect hearts and I tackle two or three missions a day. Although it's a strange world (to say the least), I was actually quite glad to visit Wonderland again. It was nice to be somewhere I found familiar.
I've become quite close with Larxene and we spend every spare moment we have talking in my room, sharing our dreams and our secrets. I've also gotten quite used to having Zexion around. Whenever he asks me to tell him how I got a heart, I just say 'even if I did tell you, it wouldn't really help you. I'm kind of a special case.' I find ways to make casual conversation with him instead. I'm not really sure how it happened, but I ended up telling him pretty much my whole backstory and all about the adventure I had with King Mickey. Zexion listened with what seemed like genuine interest. In turn, he told me about his past life, back when he was called Ienzo and lived in a world called Radiant Garden. The conversations we have are actually quite enjoyable. I don't really like to admit that, though. He's still a creep.
But still, I can't help but feel homesick and although the other members are usually quite nice to me, they aren't good enough to replace Tsuki and Roka. I get tired really easily now, too. I think all the darkness in my heart is finally taking its toll.
~Day 6~
Xarki kicked her legs rhythmically as a warm summer breeze surrounded the clock tower which she was sitting on. With her eyes closed, she tilted her head back and let the warm air touch her face. She found herself thinking about Sora. Xarki couldn't picture the boy's face as she had only seen him from behind in visions she used to have. Those three friends watching the sunset together on the other side of Destiny Islands. Everything about them mirrored Xarki's life on the dark side of the islands. While in her world where two girls and a boy got up early to watch the sun rise on a swing they had made themselves, two boys and a girl stayed up late to watch the sun set on a tree bearing star-shaped fruit in a parallel world.
Xarki wondered what Sora was doing right at that moment. Did he find his friends? Did they get to go home? Just forget about everything that happened and just…live normal lives? Xarki wished that wasn't the case. She knew that she was horrible for thinking that, but she genuinely wished that Sora didn't get a happily ever after that easily. Maybe he had worked for it a lot harder than Xarki had, but he hadn't suffered the great loss that she had experienced. Her best friend had died. She had to leave the boy she deeply cared about behind as she disappeared and ceased to exist. And now Xarki was trapped in an in-between world, waiting for Kingdom Hearts to reward her with her freedom.
With her face still exposed to the orange sky above her, she surrendered to the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, letting them slide down her cheeks; some falling from her chin, others travelling to her neck and chest. She let in a long gasp, opening her watery eyes for a second before shutting them tight, letting out a long, shaky breath. She felt like she had been nailed on the spot and she couldn't move any part of her body. Xarki wished she could just run away to a happy place, but she was too weak to go anywhere. Too drained.
"Come on, keep up, Roxas!"
Xarki barely heard the voice behind her.
"Ah, here we are…huh? Xarki? That you?"
Xarki came to, gasping as she pulled her black hood over her head to hide the tear stains on her face. Now completely shrouded, she looked over her shoulder to see who had approached.
Axel looked at her with his head titled at a questioning angle. "You okay? For a second there, it almost looked like you were-"
"I'm fine," Xarki interrupted him quickly.
She pulled her legs up and sat facing Axel, now able to see a blank-faced Roxas standing behind him.
Axel rubbed the back of his neck, "Not to be rude or anything, but this is kinda a little hideout I share with Roxas, so…"
Xarki was confused and first, but then she quickly understood.
"Oh, of course. Sorry," she said apologetically.
Axel laughed quietly as Xarki stood up. Taking a few steps forward, she got a good look at Roxas' face. They had the same job, but they hadn't spoken properly yet. She hadn't even bothered to attend his welcoming ceremony, which Xemnas and Saïx were not impressed with at all.
Sora's Nobody.
Did he get his heart back when Sora obtained his? But how could that work? Kira and Xarki were now the same person, but somehow, Sora and Roxas were able to co-exist.
Xarki was thrown out of her thought and gasped suddenly when Roxas' face started to change. She stared at it as it happened quickly in front of her. Roxas' hair turned brown and spiked more outwards rather than upwards. His skin was darker, as well. Although Xarki had never seen Sora's face before, something told her that this was what it looked like.
Suddenly, Xarki saw bright lights in her vision and it felt like something had a tight grip on her heart. The Nobody kept changing from Sora to Roxas at lightning speed and Xarki became dizzy, taking a few uneasy steps backwards. She caught a glimpse of Axel who seemed more concerned for her than he was for Roxas. He was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear what it was. She realised that she was the only one who could see Roxas change.
"Xarki, what's the matter?" she could finally hear Axel's voice.
Xarki kept walking backwards, trying to get away from the visions and the painful feeling inside her. By the time her back hit the terrace around the clock tower, even though Axel lunged forward with an outstretched hand, it was already too late. Xarki's back arched over the edge, her feet lifted out beneath her and she fell with a throaty scream. As Roxas stood there like a zombie, Axel leaned over the terrace and quickly extended a hand and flexed his fingers to summon a Corridor of Darkness directly beneath her. She fell into it, clutching her head in pain, and disappeared.
...
Falling out of the portal and onto her bedroom floor, Xarki lay there on her side for a moment as she caught her breath. Her hood was still pulled all the way over her head. She could feel tears biting at her emotions again as she inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. It wasn't just that experience that had shaken her up. It was just…everything. She just couldn't handle it anymore. Her reborn heart of pure darkness wasn't strong enough to cope. As much as she hated to admit defeat, she desperately needed someone to turn to.
With her legs moving on their own accord, she found herself walking to Larxene's room. She knocked on the door a couple of times before she heard a muffled "What do you want" on the other side. Xarki clutched the handle and slowly opened the door.
Seeing the hooded Nobody, Larxene sat up on her bed and glared angrily.
"What do you want!" she repeated with more demand in her voice this time.
Xarki pulled her hood back and let it fall behind her, staring at Larxene with teary eyes.
"Xarki?" Larxene's expression softened immediately and then turned into one of shock as she saw tears run down the young girl's face.
Xarki turned to close the door behind herand then walked briskly towards Larxene's bed with her head down low. Stopping in front of her, Xarki looked up slowly to make eye-contact with the blonde.
"Xarki…how are you..?" Larxene stuttered in disbelief.
Xarki's words caught in her throat, but she eventually forced them out. "I…I have a heart."
Larxene gasped, throwing her hands to her mouth, eyes growing wider.
"But…how?!" Larxene's voice was muffled and high-pitched behind her gloves.
As Xarki sat on the end of the bed, she began to explain her theory on how she had come to obtain a heart. Larxene listened intently with her back against the wall and her knees tucked up to her chin. When Xarki had finished, Larxene sat there staring at empty space as she took it all in. The silence lasted a few moments before the blonde finally made eye-contact with Xarki who was still drying tears from her own eyes.
"You have to leave," she said, finally.
Xarki was a little shocked to hear that.
"What?" she whispered.
"No, I mean you've got to escape! You've got to go home and be with your friends where you belong!" Larxene's expression was now very serious.
Now realising that Larxene was trying to help her, Xarki started thinking realistically.
"I can't. Xemnas would just have me hunted down and captured," she sighed.
Larxene made her gloved hand into a determined fist, "I won't let that happen. I'll hold them off if I have to. I promise, I'll make sure you're safe."
Xarki stared at her with parted lips, not knowing what to say or even think. Could I do it? Would it really be that easy to just walk away from this world? Where would I go? I can't go home yet. Not in the state I am now. And I still need to find Tsuki, or at least her Nobody. Then we can go home together.
Xarki started crying again; full on sobbing. Almost instinctively, Larxene reached forward and pulled her into a motherly hug. She held the crying girl to her chest as she clutched her tightly. Not being great with comforting words, she sat there in silence with her cheek rested on Xarki's head. Xarki grasped at Larxene's coat and sobbed.
"I just want this to end! I want to be with my friends! I want to see Tsuki! I want to see Roka! I just want to go home!"
Larxene hugged her even tighter, almost feeling a little sadness at seeing her friend in this state.
"I want to go home!" Xarki screamed into Larxene's chest.
...
Xarki had become so exhausted, she ended up crying herself to sleep in Larxene's arms after about ten minutes of sobbing into the Nobody's chest. Larxene figured that Xarki would have a better rest in her own bed, so with one arm holding Xarki's legs and the other supporting her head, she carried the sleeping girl back to her room.
As she pulled the covers up to Xarki's shoulders, she stared down sadly at her friend. As she was trying to work through the confusing emotions that she could no longer deny she was feeling, she was interrupted by Xarki's door opening. Zexion had arrived right on cue.
"Oh, good to see you again, Lar-"
"Shut up, she's sleeping!" Larxene whispered fiercely.
Zexion tilted his head slightly, "Has she had a rough day?"
"Yes, and she doesn't need you making it any worse!"
"Fine, I'll leave," Zexion smiled as he stepped out of the room and closed the door.
Larxene glared at the space where Zexion had been standing before turning to give Xarki one last look before disappearing in a Dark Corridor.
Almost immediately after Larxene's Corridor vanished, Zexion appeared in Xarki's room once again in his own portal. He walked slowly towards the bed and stared down at the purple-haired girl for a while.
"What are you dreaming about?" he said to himself in a hushed voice.
He gingerly placed his fingers near Xarki's face and parted her fringe so that her closed eyes could be seen. Her sleeping expression looked restless and depressed.
"Escape from your nightmares. You have nothing to worry about," he whispered in a gentle tone.
He ran his gloved hand slowly down Xarki's cheek. Using his power over illusions, he sent a dream into her mind. A dream where she was home on her island, surrounded by all her friends; where everything was okay. After a few seconds, a small smile began to grow on Xarki's face and she looked more relaxed in her sleep.
"You can be happy now, Xarki," Zexion stroked her hair slowly.
He didn't know why he wished happiness for her. But his wish was genuine and he didn't try to question it. Seeing Xarki's contented expression made a tiny smile appear on his face. He didn't question that either. He just let it happen.
"Sleep well, Xarki."
He ran his hand over her head one more time before disappearing in a Corridor of Darkness.