Thanks for the great response to the first chapter. All the great reviews made me want to put up the second chapter straight away. Keeping the Same rating for now. Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 2

"Because you're the only person I have had sex with since the trial, I couldn't let him…." she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks that she had tried so hard to keep from falling. She quickly wiped them away. "I wouldn't even let him touch me; he hasn't touched me since before the attack. I'm pregnant and the baby is yours El," she said turning away from the door and walking out the squad room.

Elliot sat back in chair staring at the pregnancy test, his heart racing. He was interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Stabler," he said answering.

"Stabler it's me," he heard his Captain say.

"Hey Cap I was just on my way to meet you," he said standing up and putting the test into his inside pocket.

"Don't bother," he told him. "The guy is dead. Just finish off the paperwork you were doing and head home."

"You sure Cap?"

"Yeah, the other guys already here can handle the scene. It's your day off tomorrow anyway may as well keep you out of it."

"Thanks Cap, see you later." he said hanging up.

He sat back down at his desk and picked up his pen and doing his best he finished off his remaining paper work. An hour later he finished signing off the last of the paperwork and put it into the folder. He reached into his pocket and took out the test looking at it again, a small smile slowly forming on his lips.

"I'm gonna be a dad again," he whispered to himself. He picked up his phone and dialled Olivia's number but it rang a few times before going to answer phone.

"Hey it's me," he said. "Look I'm sorry for how I reacted when you came to tell me. It's just…. Well that's the last thing I thought you were going to say when you said you needed to see me. Hell I haven't seen or heard from you since that night, but only because you told me to leave you alone and never call you again. Liv we slept together and then you told me you…" There was a beep as he ran out of time. He called again. "As I was saying, you told me you hated me and your life was with Brian, you to stay away, and what we had done was a mistake, so I done what you asked. We need to talk Liv so call me or text me with a time and date…"

The beep came again cutting him off "Fucking answer phones," he cursed dialling again.

"We can ignore what you just told me…. and Liv I meant what I said to you that night, you have to believe me. I know I fucked up when I disappeared for three years and you had a right to be angry. But I told you how I felt and I meant it….. I'm off all day if you feel like talking…and Liv… I ….. I still ….." He dropped his head and hung up the call. He reached into the drawer of the desk and took out the bottle of whisky and unscrewed the top looking at it.

"Fuck it," he said and took drink feeling the burn as it went down. He looked at his watch it was just after half 6. He picked up his phone.

You up yet. He text. He took another drink as he waited for the reply. Instead of a text the phone rang a minute later.

"Hey I didn't wake you did I? … That's good…. No nothing is wrong… I'm not lying, well maybe a little. You want to meet me for breakfast…. Yes I'm buying don't I always…. You can pick me up from work if you want I just finished… Okay see you soon…. Yeah love you to," he smiled as he hung up the phone. He took one more drink and put the bottle back in the drawer.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Olivia sat in her car outside the station and listened to his messages, tears streaming down her face. She dropped her head to the steering wheel and took deep breaths trying to calm herself down. She knew she shouldn't have just told him and ran. He had every reason to be mad and upset with her after all she practically threw him out the last time she had seen him. She had been sat outside the station now for over an hour and a half trying to decide whether to go back in or not and to talk to him when she got the messages.

She wiped her eyes and gave herself a shake "Just do it Benson, talk to him," she said out loud. She took the key from the ignition and was about to get out the car when she seen him exit the building. A car pulled up beside him and he opened the door and climbed in. Olivia watched as he reached over and hugged the driver, Olivia couldn't make her out properly as he kissed her cheek before they both faced forward and the car pulled away and into the traffic.

"I guess you done what I told you to do and moved on," she said to herself. She took a deep breath and started her car again and pulled out into the traffic, heading back to the apartment.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So come on spill it, what's happened?"

"Why do you think something has happened?" he asked pushing his pancakes around his plate.

"Well for one you don't normally stink of Whisky when you finish work….."

"It was only a little I promise you sweetheart." She nodded and smiled before carrying on.

" Two, the last time you wanted to meet me for breakfast was to tell me you were going away to work for a while and you were worried about telling the others. Three you said everything was okay then added sort off. But the real reason I know something has happened is because I saw Livvy parked in her car just up the block, before I pulled up outside the station."

Elliot dropped his fork and lifted his head.

"She was sat in her car?"

"Yeah," nodded Maureen. "Now you gonna tell me what the hell has happened or are you gonna keep it all bottled up inside like you used to. And dad we all know that didn't work in the past."

Elliot sighed and pushed his plate out of the way. "Why the hell did you have to take psychology at Uni," he smiled.

"Because I didn't need to look far for help in the practical side of it with our family. Between You and Kat I have it covered," she smiled.

Elliot let out a small laugh "I guess you do," he said sitting back.

"So come on spill it."

"I err…. I took your advice and went to see Liv," he told her. "It was a week after the verdict of her trial."

"And?" she asked.

"I told her everything."

3 Months earlier

Elliot got out his car as he watched Cassidy pull away in his. He had sat almost 2 hours waiting for Him to leave. He climbed the couple of steps to the door and pressed the button for the apartment, his hand was shaking. Before he had the chance to speak the door clicked open.

"3rd floor, "he heard her say before another click as she let go of the button. He took the stairs instead of the elevator to buy himself more time. Finally he found himself outside the door. He felt sick, and his body was shaking. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Almost straight away he heard the locks turning and the door slowly opened.

"Hey," he said as he finally came face to face with the woman he walked away from almost three years ago. She stood and just stared at him for a while.

"Wondered how long you were just gonna sit in your car before you rang," she said stepping towards him. She raised her hand and punched him hard on the side of his face, forcing his head to twist to the side, before calmly turning away and walking into the apartment.

Elliot rubbed the side of his face and touched his lip as he tasted and felt blood. "Should of known it wouldn't have been just a slap," he muttered.

"Your fucking lucky, I didn't kick you in the balls," she replied to him. "Either come in, or shut the door on your way out," she told him. Elliot followed her in and closed the door; she was stood behind the counter in the kitchen with a glass of wine. He stood the other side of the counter and looked at her not sure what to say as he licked the blood from his lip.

"I seen the paper…..I read about the trial….. How are you holding up?"

Olivia took a large drink from the glass "Oh just fine," she told him. "Nothing I love better than to be questioned by the man who kidnapped and assaulted me. How the hell do you think I'm holding up she snapped.

"I should have been there," he said to her.

"Why?" she asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"Why should you have been there?"

"Liv I…"

"You what?" she asked interrupting him. "You care about me. You worry about me. You want to look out for me," she came around the counter towards him.

"I…. I just wanted to ….." he couldn't even look at her.

"What the hell did you want to do Stabler, tell me!" she yelled picking up the half-drunk glass of wine and throwing it across the kitchen. Elliot jumped.

"I would have come back sooner if I had known!" he yelled back. "Yes I care and worry about you I always have."

Olivia laughed and began to shake her head. "If you cared for me," she said pushing her hands against his chest, making him step back. "You wouldn't have left in the first place."

She pushed him again harder.

"If you cared, you would have come to me and explained why you left."

Another shove in the chest, as Elliot just looked at her.

"If you were so worried about me, you would have picked up the phone and fuckin called me," this time she slapped him across the face.

"If… if you had still been my partner he wouldn't have taken me and tortured me," she said tears falling down her face as she slapped him again. "He wouldn't have drugged me and force fed me alcohol."

She hit his chest this time; Elliot did nothing to stop her.

"If you hadn't left he wouldn't have had the chance to do this," she said ripping her shirt open to reveal the scars Lewis had left on her chest.

"So don't you dare stand there and try and tell me you were worried about me, and that you care for me. You lost the right to say that the day you walked away from me without even a goodbye," she said staring him in the eyes, before turning away and picking up the bottle of wine on the counter and drinking from the bottle. She stood with her back to him, her body shaking. Elliot just stood and looked at her back in silence.

"I couldn't call you," he finally said breaking the silence. "I wasn't allowed any contact with anyone on the outside from rehab, my psychiatrist thought it was for the best, well in the beginning anyway."

Elliot leant against the wall and slid down to the floor. Olivia turned around and looked down at him.

"I lost it Liv, when I shot Jenna, I totally fucking lost it. I couldn't tell Kathy what happened, I wanted to talk to you to come and see you but I got it into my head you would hate me for what I done. I needed to take the pain away so at first I drank. Started to stay out all night instead of going home, getting into fights anything to take away the anger I felt. After a while the drink and fights didn't help so I started….. I started having sex with different women. I didn't care who they were, I would just fuck them and leave. It was like; I took that shot and pressed the self-destruct button."

Olivia just looked down at him as he talked not knowing what to say or think.

"Kathy found out and left me. Went to her parents, guess she hoped her leaving with Eli might of snapped me out of it but it didn't. I just moved out and back to the small apartment I still had from when we first split up. I was really wasted one night and close to passing out. One of the women I was with was doin lines of coke, she handed me the straw and said to help myself."

Olivia sat on the floor opposite him resting against the counter.

"God it felt so good after I took it, I just forgot about everything, the job, Jenna, Kathy leaving…you," he said looking across to her. "I didn't feel anything anymore. After a while the buzz from the coke wasn't enough and I started doin heroin." He dropped his eyes to the floor unable to look at her; he never saw the tears falling down her face.

"Kathy came to see me, to tell me Eli wasn't well. She found me unconscious on the floor next to the bed, my personal gun next to me fully loaded and a note saying how sorry I was," he looked over at Olivia she wasn't looking at him. "The fact I Overdosed on the drugs that night probably saved me, as I collapsed before I had the chance to pull the trigger."

"Kathy called an ambulance for me. When I finally came around I agreed to get help and go into rehab. My Mom paid for me to go away to a good private one. That's where I was up until a year ago. That's why I didn't and couldn't call you. I had to sort myself out in here," he said tapping his head. "I asked Kathy not to call you; I didn't want you to see me like that."

"Are you… are you okay now?" she asked him wiping her eyes.

"Yeah it's still hard. I haven't touched drugs or women since…." He gave a little smile. "Still have the odd little drink, but I know when to stop. Being in rehab scared the hell out of me Liv, I had to be tested for HIV and every other sexual disease you can think of. Coming off the drugs was hell I have never felt pain like it. I never want to go through that again. Having to wait to find out if I was HIV was the worst. I know I went through the same test years ago at work, but this time it was different. This time I knew it was my entire fault."

"Are you…."

"I'm clear; I guess I was one of the lucky ones. Made me realise I had a lot to live for though. I didn't see my kids for 6 months when I was in there."

"And now?"

"Now we are good, I spend as much time with them as possible. Me and Kathy never got back together but we are still close….. I never meant to hurt you Liv and if I did then I'm so sorry. When I got out of rehab a year ago, I took the kids away on vacation just us for six weeks. When I got back I came to see you. I sat outside the station waiting for you. You came out with Cassidy, and you looked happy, so happy. I didn't want to risk ruining that by coming back into your life, so I just drove away. If I had known then what was going to happen with Lewis I would of got out the car and spoke to you."

"I really wish you had," she whispered. "I really needed you."

Elliot moved across the floor and sat next to her.

"Why did you wait till now to come and see me? Why not when I was taken, it was all over the news. Why wait till after the trial?"

"I was out of the country. A friend of mine from the marines gave me a job doing security on the boats. Protecting them from modern day pirates. I didn't get to see much news from New York. Kathy had moved to Florida with Eli and the twins, and Kathleen and Maureen were at Uni. None of us knew. Believe me Liv if I had known I would have been there looking for you. It was only when I got back last week that I saw the paper and the story about the trial."

"I thought you didn't care," she sobbed.

"God no Liv, I just didn't know I swear to God. If I had known I would have been there with you."

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him holding her tightly to him as she cried.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her as his own tears fell.

"I needed you so much, El. More than I have ever needed anyone before."

"I'm here now and I promise you I'm not going anyway," he said holding her tight.

Next up the rest of what happened that night. I have a feeling the story will be changing to M rated then. If it does I will let you all know.