Hey Peeps. This chapter is going to be told from Elliot's point of view. I will do Olivia's side next. There have been some great reviews and messages about the story glad your all enjoying it.

Chapter 3

Maureen looked over at her dad when he stopped talking. He picked up his coffee and took a mouthful.

"What?" he asked her.

"What else happened?"

"What do you mean?" he asked picking up his fork again and pushing food around his plate, not wanting to look at his daughter.

"Dad I can tell something else happened. What else did you and Liv talk about."

"Nothing…" he looked up at his daughter who was just staring at him. "Jesus, "he sighed dropping his fork again. "What do you want me to say Maur, Huh. That I fucked up again. That I couldn't just go there and be a friend to her…. fuck!" he cursed dropping his head into his hands. "I have really screwed up," he told her.

Maureen leaned over the table and took hold of his hands and pulled them away from his face.

"Dad, what happened?" she asked him softly. "I'm not a little girl anymore. You can tell me."

"Maureen, please…. Just let it go."

"That's just it dad I can't. We let it go 3 years ago. We let you handle things on your own terms and look what happened, I'm worried about you. You would never have called me so early in the morning to go to breakfast unless something had happened. And the fact I could smell drink on you this morning doesn't ease my fears."

Elliot looked over at his daughter and saw the worry in her eyes.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he said reaching across and holding her hand. "I promise you I'm not drinking heavy again, I wouldn't do that to you all or myself. I just had a rough night."

Maureen nodded.

"Because of what happened with Livia?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, because of what happened with Liv." He paused as he looked over at his oldest daughter. "I know you want to know what happened but I'm not ready to talk about it just now especially to my daughter," he said with a small smile.

Maureen didn't say anything, she just sat watching him, as he got the waitresses attention and paid the bill.

"You gonna drop your old man off?" he asked her. "I think I need some sleep," he said as they headed towards the car.

"Yeah sure, your on your day off today aren't you?"

"Yep, and I am going to sleep the full day, I'm exhausted."

They sat in almost silence as Maureen drove him home, the radio playing quietly in the background. Elliot would glance over at his daughter every now and then he could tell she was pissed at him for not telling her everything. But how could he tell her what he had done.

As they got close to his building Maureen looked over at her dad.

"You slept with Livia that night, didn't you?" she asked him as they pulled up outside building.

Elliot whipped his head over to look at her.

"Maureen…."

"Don't try and deny it dad its written all over your face," she said to him. "That's what you meant when you said you fucked up."

"Yeah."

"Have you spoke to her since?"

"Not until earlier this morning," he sighed. "It shouldn't have happened that night, I went there to talk to her to try and fix things. Instead I screwed everything up. She was in….. is in a relationship, we shouldn't have done it, it just kind of happened."

He dropped his head back against the seat. He couldn't believe he was sitting talking to his daughter about having sex with Olivia.

"Dad… do you Love Livia?"

Elliot stared straight ahead out the front of the car.

"I…. Its always been complicated between us. We were partners for so long. We were close really close."

"That isn't what I asked," she said reaching for his hand.

"I don't think what I feel for her really matters right now. She is In a steady relationship, they live together…. I guess I just waited to long to let her know how I feel. Even if she ….." he stopped what he was saying before he said pregnant.

"Even if she what?" asked Maureen.

"Even if she did have feelings for me, she made it clear that night she doesn't anymore." He said covering his tracks. "I will see you later sweetheart, I need a shower and my bed."

Maureen nodded and leaned over giving him a kiss on the cheek "Call me if you need to talk."

"I will I promise you," he smiled. "And don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid." He said closing the door and leaning on the open window.

"Dad just one more question. If Livia said she wanted nothing more to do with you, and you hadn't had any contact since that night. Why did she come to ths station to see you early in the morning?"

Elliot shook his head and smiled. "That is for another day," he told her turning and walking up the steps to his door waving at his daughter.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliot collapsed ontop of his bed after his quick shower. He picked up his phone and checked for any messages, the screen was blank. He opened up his messages and began to type.

I know you will have got my voicemails by now so I guess your choosing to ignore me. We need to talk Liv. I don't regret what we did that night and I don't regret saying what I did. I left cause you told me to not because I wanted to. Please call me

His finger hovered over the X button wondering if that one little letter at the end would be to much.

"Fuck it," he said pressing it then pressing send.

He flung the phone onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, thinking back to that night.

3 months ago

They sat on the floor together and cried, Elliot holding her tight to him, her head on his shoulder, he felt her tears soak through his t-shirt. She sniffed and took a deep shakey breath.

"When Lewis had me," she said her voice just above a whisper. "I thought that was it. I thought he was going to kill me. I was so scared, I needed… I needed my partner, but you weren't there. When ever I got realy scared I would think about you. I kept praying you were looking for me and you would find me. But the longer it went on the more I realised that wasn't going to happen."

Elliot didn't say anything he just held her shaking body to him.

"When he got me to the beach house, he had me handcuffed to the bed, and I was thinking about you. He asked me who I was thinking about but I wouldn't tell him. He grabbed me and forced my mouth open and pushed the gun in, I really thought he was going to kill me, I begged him to let me live I was so scared. All I could think about was you, how I might never see you again."

"God I am so sorry Liv, I should never have left like I did, I should have come back sooner. You have to know I never stopped thinking about you, were always in my head."

Olivia lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes red from crying. She reached up and gently touched his cut lip from where she punched him."In all the years we were partners, all the times you pissed me off and were a total prick, I never hit you."

"Yeah well I guess I deserved it, showing up like this after three years. To be honest I expected something like that," he said giving her a small smile. "And you did hit me once, well slapped me anyway."

He could see her thinking "You can't use that against me I was saving your ass," she said her fingers still stroking his face and lip where she punched him. "Is it sore?" she asked him.

"No its fine," he said enjoying the feeling of her fingers stroking his face softly and he looked down at her. He gently brushed some loose hair behind her ear his fingers touching her so softly.

"He tried to use my feelings for you in court, when he questioned me," she said quietly almost whispering.

"What do you mean?" he asked his fingers still playing with her hair.

"When I finally got free I handcuffed to him to the same bed he had cuffed me. I started thinking about you again and what you would do if you had been there. I told him how you would have hurt him, how you would have broke him. He used it in court."

"I would have hurt him Liv, I would have killed him."

"I know you would have."

"I should have been there I should have had your back, I should have been looking out for you."

He dropped his hand from her hair to her shirt that she had ripped open earlier. His hand pulled the shirt apart slightly, his eyes dropping and looking at the scars on her chest.

"Jesus Christ," he said under his breath. He was unable to stop the tears that rolled down his face. He ran his fingers lightly over the scars. "What the hell did he do to you?"

Olivia reached up and wiped his tears. "He liked to burn me," she whispered. "He got off on it."

"I'm so, so sorry, if I had only come to you three years ago instead of running away and hiding from you. God I'm such a fucking idiot. All I cared about at the time was how I felt. I was ashamed for what I had done, I hated myself. I killed a little kid. And I ran, instead of talking to my partner, and best friend, I ran and fucked up my life and yours….. God I'm so sorry. I thought I was saving you, when all I done was put you in danger." His tears flowed freely and dripped from his face as he dropped his head unable to look at her. "I let you down."

"El, you couldn't have known what was going to happen nobody did. At first when Cragen told me about you leaving I was upset, then angry but then I just accepted it was what you needed to do. I'm not going to lie it really hurt that you couldn't come to me, but I know you must have had your reasons. If I had known what you were going through, that you were falling apart I would have been there for you. I would have kicked your ass. We weren't there for each when we should have been. We let each other down."

Olivia cupped his face and lifted it up. "We are both still alive and that's all that matters," she whispered as they looked at each other. Elliot raised his hands and copied Olivia as he wiped away her tears.

"I missed you so much," he told her. "I talked about you all the time in rehab, your were my favourite topic in therapy."

"I missed you aswell, I was a right bitch to work with after you left. Nobody ever matched up to you."

Their faces were only inches apart, their eyes locked together. They could feel each others breaths. In all their time together as partners they had never been this close.

"Liv," he said his voice raspy and low.

"Yeah," she breathed back as they moved even closer.

"We should stop, I should go," he said swallowing hard.

"We should …..and you should," she said as they both moved closer making no attempt pull apart.

Elliot felt his heart racing, he was sure she would be able to hear it. He licked his lip and dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. He knew he should stop what was happening, their emotions were all over the place, he needed to stop and leave, but he couldn't. He had fought against his feelings for her for years, and now sitting here on her kitchen floor, holding her. It was too much for him everything he had felt came flooding back, he knew it was wrong, she was happy now. She had finally settled down made a home for herself. He felt her hand on his cheek.

"El?"

"I need to go," he said pulling his back slightly. "I should go."

"Okay," she said dropping her head as he moved away from her a little

"Will you be okay?"

"I don't know," she said not looking up.

"Look, maybe we could meet up for a coffee sometime this week or lunch."

"I need you," she said her voice so quiet he only just heard her.

"I'm not going anywhere, not again, I promise you," he said taking hold of her hand.

She shook her head "No, I need you. I need you to take away the pain. I need you to help me forget…."

"Liv….." he said not knowing what to say or do. She lifted her head and looked up at him, the tears still in her eyes. "I don't know what you want me to do, tell me what you need and I will do it." They sat staring at each other for a few seconds, their eyes locked onto each other.

"Fuck me," she said never breaking eye contact with him.

"Liv, I …..I…." he stuttered not knowing what to say. Olivia moved closer to him.

"You know you want to El, you have wanted to do this as much as I have, for the last 15 years, but there was always something in the way," she said reaching towards him and cupping her hand round the back of his neck playing with his short hair on the back of his head. "Your marriage, our partnership, your kids ….our conscious. But we both wanted to," she whispered her lips brushing over his ear. "Now there is nothing to stop us," she said as she kissed him over his jaw line and down his neck.

"What about Brian," he struggled to say.

"He won't be back till the morning," she said lifting her head and looking at him.

It wasn't what he had meant, but he didn't care. He could feel his body reacting to her. "Okay," he said and lifted his hands cupping her face. "But I won't fuck you, Liv," he told her. "I would never just fuck you," he said licking his lips as he moved his head towards her and his lips brushed against hers gently. "I could never just fuck you," he mumbled as his lips crashed against hers and he pulled her against him. He ran his fingers through her hair and moaned into her mouth as he felt her tongue slip into his mouth and tangle with his. He finally pulled back as they both gasped for breath staring at each other.

"Jesus Liv I have wanted this for so long," he told her. "You will never know how many times I have wanted to do that."

"I think I can guess," she replied as their lips crashed together again.

Elliot moved his position and pushed her back lying her gently down on the kitchen floor his mouth never leaving hers. He lay next to her on the floor and ran his hand over her stomach and undone the last few buttons on her shirt and pulled it fully open. He ran his hand over her stomach and moved it slowly up brushing the underside of her breasts, he felt her body twitch slightly as his hand cupped her breast over the top of her lacy bra, moaning into her mouth as he felt her hard nipple against the palm of his hand. Elliot looked down and grinned when he saw her bra fastened at the front. His fingers fumbled slightly as he unfastened it and pushed the cups away from her breasts, his eyes wandering over her.

"Don't look at them," she said. "The scar's, don't look at them."

Elliot lifted his eyes from her breasts and looked at her, "trust me Liv, I never noticed the scars," he told her as his fingers brushed lightly over her breasts and nipples, you are so beautiful," he said. "Every part of you is you beautiful."

He dropped his head to one of her breast and replaced his fingers with his mouth as he took the small hard bud between his lips and sucked on it gently, as his other hand massaged her other breast. He heard Olivia gasp as his tongue swirled around the nipple. He kissed his way over to her other breast to show it the same attention. "Fucking gorgeous," he mumbled.

He reluctantly moved his mouth away from her and lifted himself up and pulled off his jacket and t-shirt. Olivia lifted herself up slightly and pulled of her shirt and bra throwing them on top of Elliots clothes. She looked up at Elliot and licked her lips as she ran her hand over his chest and stomach.

Elliot moved over the top of her and between her legs placing small kisses over her chest and stomach as she ran her fingers through his short hair and thrust her hips up against him, as Elliot pushed down against her as they moved together only separated by their jeans. Elliot could feel his cock throbbing as it grew hard pushing against the inside of his shorts.

"Liv….. let's move this to the bedroom," he panted in between kissing her.

"No, I want you now….. right here…..now."

"But Liv…"

"Please El," she said reaching between them and undoing the button on her jeans and pulling down the zip. Her hands brushed against the front of Elliot's jeans and his hard on. He pushed himself up as Olivia pushed down her jeans and he helped her to pull them off along with her lace panties. He sat back on his heels and looked down at her lying naked in front of him on her kitchen floor.

He ran his hand lightly over her stomach and down over her shaven pussy. He had dreamt about this moment so many times, he never thought in a million years his dreams would come true.

"El, you okay?" he heard her ask him as he stared down at her.

"Yeah," he said moving over the top of her, his body hovering over her and kissed her lips once more before making his way down her body leaving a trail of kisses till he was just above her pussy where he stopped and looked back up her body. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lower lip.

"Liv if you want me to stop, you need to tell me now."

"I want you El, I want you now," she said pushing her pussy up towards his mouth.

Elliot smiled and kissed her pussy lips once before slipping his tongue between her folds and licking the full length of her as he settled between her legs pushing her thighs apart as he flicked his tongue over her clit and felt her body shudder as he sucked it into his mouth before licking her again over and over as he tasted her sweet juices covering his tongue.

"God you taste amazing," he said before he plunged his tongue deep inside her. Olivia moaned and pushed herself up to meet his mouth trying to get him deeper inside her.

"Fuck that feels so good," she gasped as he moved his mouth back to her clit and swirled his tongue around it before sucking it back into his mouth. He moved his hand to her pussy and slipped a finger deep inside as his mouth and tongue continued their attention on the swollen nub.

"More, I need more," she begged him. Elliot smiled as he pushed a second finger in and slowly moved them in and out of her twisting them as he did, her juices covering them. The feel and taste of her was almost too much for him, his cock throbbing and begging for release.

"El, I need….. I need you inside me. I need you inside me now," she told him.

Elliot removed his fingers and reached down undoing the buttons on his jeans and pushing them and his boxers down releasing his throbbing, hard cock into his hand. He moved back up her body between her legs. Resting on one arm he looked down at her as he continued to stroke himself as he looked down at her.

"Liv I don't have any ….. condoms," he struggled to say.

"It's okay, you said your clean, I believe you," she said reaching down and removing his hand taking hold of him stroking the full length of him.

He smiled down at her "I am but I meant in case…"

"I'm on the pill," she said interrupting him. "Now if there is nothing else I would like you to fuck me," she said guiding him to her and lining him up with her wet hot hole.

"I already told you," he said as he looked her in the eyes. "I won't fuck you," he said as he pushed into her. "Christ," he grunted as he slid into her, she was so tight, so wet and hot. He couldn't believe they were actually doing this, when he came here tonight it was to talk to her, to apologise he never thought he would be making love to her. That only happened in his dreams.

"You….. you need to move," Olivia said pushing up to him and clenching her inner walls and pulling him back from his thoughts.

"Yeah," he smiled as he dropped his lips to hers and kissed her as he thrust in and out of her slowly at first, pushing deep inside her. Olivia wrapped her legs around him pulling him to her as he picked the pace.

"Christ Liv you feel so good baby, so, so good," he panted dropping his head to her shoulder as he pushed into her hard.

"So close El," she panted. "So fucking close….don't stop, I'm gonna…."

Elliot lifted his head and looked down at her" Just let go Liv, come for me baby," he panted as he felt her tighten around him gripping him tight as she pushed up to meet his thrusts. "Open your eyes, Liv," he said to her.

He watched her as her eyes fluttered open. He kept his fixed on her as he felt her body begin to shudder and she clamped him hard, as she came.

"Aaaaahhh Fuck!" she cried as her orgasm ripped through her body.

Elliot kept his eyes on her watching her as she climaxed as his balls tightened and he released inside her, his hot seed coating her walls. "I love you Baby," he grunted as he came inside. "I have loved you for so long," he said dropping his head between her shoulder and neck. "I just couldn't tell you," he panted as his body relaxed against hers, still buried deep inside her.

He kissed her neck softly as the lay on the kitchen floor joined together. "You okay?" he mumbled into her neck after a while.

"Yeah," she nodded. "We should move off the floor," she said quietly.

"I guess your right," he said pushing himself up and sliding carefully out of her as he knelt between her legs. Olivia sat up and without looking at him she stood up and picked up the shirt she was wearing.

"Liv, what's wrong?" he asked standing up and pulling up his shorts and jeans. She didn't answer as she bent down and picked up her panties and jeans, pulling on her panties.

"Hey," he said taking hold of her wrist gently and pulling her round to look at him. "What's going on?"

"You should go," she said her eyes avoiding him.

"What do you mean I should go?" he asked cupping her face with his hand, trying to get her to look at him. "Liv, baby look at me."

"Don't do that," she said. "Don't call me that."

Elliot just looked at her unsure what was going on.

"Liv talk to me, what the hell did I do. You wanted this as much as I did."

She pulled her arm away from him and leant on the counter. "You should just go," she told him.

"What!... No! Liv please don't do this. Don't push me away, not after what we just done."

She turned around and faced him "It was just sex El, that's all," she said walking around the counter to the fridge and getting a fresh bottle of wine out, unscrewing the cap and taking a drink straight from the bottle.

"What do you mean it was just sex….. it wasn't just sex and you know it."

"Yes it was," she said.

"NO! No it fucking wasn't. Not for me. Liv, sweetheart I love…"

"STOP…Don't ….don't say that, just …. Just go okay. Just leave. Christ it was supposed to be just sex, you weren't supposed to say that!" she yelled.

Elliot just stood looking at her. He couldn't believe that one moment they had been making love and the next she was screaming at him to get out. He walked slowly around the counter as she picked up the bottle and took a drink straight from it.

"I can't help how I feel can you really look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything. What the hell you scared of Liv, you scared cause you feel the same."

"I'm with Brian…. I have feelings for Cassidy."

"But do you love him?"

Olivia glared at him. "What?"

"Do you love him. Because if my girlfriend said she loved me and I found out she begged her ex partner to fuck her on the kitchen floor I would be well pissed," he said his anger getting the best of him.

Olivia raised her arm to slap him but he grabbed hold of it before she connected with his face.

"No way," he growled. "No again."

He kept hold of her arm and pulled her to him.

"I love you, whether you want to hear it or not. I came here tonight to talk to you, not for sex but to talk. I wanted to try and fix things between us."

Before Olivia had the chance to reply her phone rang. She picked it up from the bench and answered it.

"Hey Baby," she said as she answered. Elliot glared at her as she spoke. "No nothing exciting, just having a glass of wine….. yeah I miss you to," she smiled.

Elliot turned away and picked up his t-shirt pulling it on, before picking up his jacket. He kept his eyes on Olivia as she listened into the phone.

"No I'm fine… I promise you," she said as Elliot walked back over to her standing right in front of her. He took hold of her hand which held her phone and covered the mouth piece pulling it away from her ear and mouth. Leaning forward he whispered in her ear.

" Your freaked out right now, I get that. When you decide what you want I will be waiting for you, I'm not running and I'm not leaving," he told her. He turned his head and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you Olivia Benson and I know you feel the same for me, I saw it in your eyes as we made love and you came."

He let go of her wrist and walked to the door, leaving without saying another word.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliot jumped as the ringing cell phone woke him up. He grabbed it and answered without looking at it.

"Stabler," he yawned.

"We need to talk," said Olivia.

"Okay," he said pushing himself up. "When , where."

"I will come to you, you can't come here in case Brian comes home. Text me your new address."

"Okay, how about tonight then, about seven."

She went quiet for a while.

"Okay, will see you then," she said hanging up.

Elliot flopped back down on his bed and took a deep breath, he looked over at the clock it was just before midday. He typed his address into the phone and dropped it back on the bed closing his eyes. Hopefully he would get a few more hours sleep before she arrived.

Next up how Olivia is handling all this before they finally get together for that talk.

Don't forget to leave your thoughts, they make me smile.