Off Kilter

Time: Pre-Earth

Saying that the fight was going badly would have been an understatement. The slag had hit the turbines megacycles ago, and did not look to be improving. Ghostly husks of buildings rose amid the battlefield. Only the contested energon silo remained whole, but not for long if the Decepticons followed normal procedure. Obtain any resource possible; leave none for the enemy. They fought on the upper level of the multi-tiered Praxis Ra. Great metal plates supported what used to be a haven for the wealthy and well to do. War had turned it into as much of a slum as the lowest level.

Sideswipe ducked behind one of the skeleton buildings, wincing as he jarred his leg. Blitzwing and his slagging gyro disruptor rifle. The triple changer had knocked him off balance, allowing one of the cassettes, a slagging cassette, to take a shot at him. He took a moment to look the hole in his thigh over. Internal repairs had already closed the fuel lines in that area, so there was not much energon around it. It did not look as bad as he thought, but it stung like the Inferno. Sideswipe glanced around the corner of the building, and swung back around just as two missiles swept past. He kept his sensors on the projectiles, but peeked around the building again. Astrotrain pelted the meager cover the others crouched behind. His sensors informed him that the tracer missiles had arced back around for him.

A touch on his arm made him jerk around, bringing his weapon to bear. The black and white mech stepped back in surprise. Sideswipe relaxed and smiled at Prowl. "Come to join the party?"

"Your leg?" More concern than his voice allowed etched into the second-in-command's face.

Sideswipe calculated less than two klicks until the missiles hit. "Need to move."

Prowl followed the warrior's gaze. He grabbed Sideswipe's arm and dragged him away, his grip tight with worry.

The explosion knocked them both to the ground. The section of plating they stood on groaned under their feet. More missiles exploded around them and a Seeker trine roared overhead.

"What happened to your jet pack?" Prowl shouted over the noise. They flattened themselves to the ground, as Astrotrain swept past, his lasers blazing.

"Same thing that happened to my leg. Why are they missing us?"

As if in answer, the plating groaned again, shifting. Then the entire thing buckled. The world spun, disorienting Sideswipe. He felt Prowl's hand scrabble for his, but just as suddenly it was ripped away. He tumbled aft over head, slamming into everything imaginable. The secondary plate crumpled under the weight of the first and started a chain reaction all the way down to the tenth level.

Sideswipe went offline.

Lights flickered in bewildering patterns through cracks in the rubble. At least he was not buried very deep. Sideswipe lifted a hand and shoved through the thin layer. Scrap metal tumbled to either side of the red mech. He ran a diagnostic as he scanned the area. Sometime during the fall had had slid off the plate entirely. The top of Praxis Ra no longer sparkled with laser fire and missile trails.

Internal repairs had already started working on small things, like some of the energon leaks. Diagnostics told him that dents and his transformation cogs would need to be tended. Great. There goes fast travel. The fall had trashed his communicator as well, so no backup. His empty launcher lay a few dozen feet away from him. Which would explain the burning in his shoulder. Ow. Fragging glitches in a processor.

Slag. Was Prowl still at the top of the collapsed section? His optics swept around him and he activated his scanners, hoping for something from Prowl.

He found the smaller Enforcer at the edge of the collapsed plates. The lowest corner of the top section stood hundreds of feet above them. "I am so glad you fell down here, Prowl." Sideswipe crouched next to the second-in-command, wincing at the energon still leaking from the tactician. "Prowl?"

Blue optics flash in response.

Sideswipe cast about to see if anyone was around. He leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on Prowl's lips

White hands cupped his audio sensors and gently pushed him away. Prowl's optics flickered on to look around. A smile graced the tactician's lips and he drew Sideswipe back down to finish the kiss. A pleased purr rumbled out of Prowl's engine. "What I'd give to online to this every recharge cycle."

Prowl, sentimental? "You sure you're okay?"

"Headache, but kissing you mlbakes it better."

Did Prowl's vocalizer just glitch? Sideswipe decided it was his audios. He furrowed his brow ridge. "What does a diagnostic scan say?"

Prowl went silent, patterns running on his optics. "Internal repairs are already at work on some of the worst of it. " A frown creased his face. "I'm not getting a reading from my battle computer." Prowl sat up and one of his door wings groaned at the hinges, drooping listlessly. "Transforming's out olf the question."

Sideswipe grinned and draped an arm over the tactician's shoulder. "Looks like it's just you and me one-formers."

Prowl giggled.

Sideswipe rocked back on his heels, staring at his superior. "Prowl?" Concern laced his voice.

"One-formers." Giggle. "I'll have to remember that. Robots, no dilsguise," and Prowl curled into a ball of giggle fits.

Now Sideswipe was getting worried.

He reached out and tugged on Prowl's arm, managing to coax the still giggly tactician to his feet. Sideswipe put a finger on Prowl's lips. "Maybe you should be quiet. We really don't want to attract any unwanted attention to us."

Prowl nodded, and modulated his voice quieter. He slipped a kiss onto the warrior's finger, his frame still shaking with the amused rumble of his engine. "We should get back to base camp. Looks like the fight's olbver."

Sideswipe nodded and Prowl set off at a brisk place. The warrior attempted to follow at the same rate, but faltered when his leg nearly gave. Slag. He'd forgotten about that stupid hole. He called Prowl and the tactician turned.

"Oh." Prowl returned to Sideswipe's side. "I don't know what I wblas thinking. Here," he ducked his chevroned head under Sideswipe's arm. "Lean on me."

Prowl's height, or rather lack of it, made it a little difficult for the arrangement. After jostling about for a few klicks, Sideswipe finally managed a few burning steps. Then the tactician paused again. "Sides," Prowl barely spoke above a whisper, "Wherg arle we going agvain?"

Sideswipe stared down at the tactician shocked into silence.

Prowl and Sideswipe stared at the remains of the camp. It looked like everything had been pulled up in a rush. One tent still stood, its metal roof caved in with the imprint of a hand. Cables lay strewn about the mess of toss outs.

Prowl's doorwings shook as a giggle squeaked out of his vocalize. "Look what happlens when I'm dnot holme. Leave for a cycle anb they lreave a mless. Sparlklings."

Sideswipe eased himself to his aft, holding his injured leg in front of him. "Did any of the medics leave behind any tools?"

Prowl planted his fists on his hips, a stern frown on his lips. "And how am I psl'pposed to tell?" Giggle.

I am so not letting you live this down, Prowlie. "Could you look please?"

The tactician snickered as he rifled through the debris, a disturbing image to the warrior watching him. Suddenly he straightened, toolkit in hand and belted out a drinking song about an Autobot femme captured by a Decepticon warlord. Sideswipe hadn't realized Prowl even knew that lewd song.

"Prowl." Sideswipe hissed.

The song stopped and flickering blue optics turned to the red warrior. A drunken grin curved Prowl's normally down-turned lips into a turbinebat's leer.

Sideswipe finally admitted it to himself. Something was seriously wrong with Prowl.

Sideswipe stretched the kinks out his partially repaired leg, watching as Prowl staggered out of the tent and plopped himself next to the Toughline. Energon still glistened along the tactician's form. That worried Sideswipe, it meant Prowl still had a leak. "So if camp has been struck, where to next?"

Prowl lifted his head and stared in each of the eight directions. He tilted his head in thought. Another giggle bubbled out of his vocalize, "I don't- I can't brlememberer." He sobered. "That's so illogical." Glitching laughter snorted out of his closed lips. "I said illogicibal. Hee hee."

Sideswipe covered his optics, unable to watch the spectacle. Normally it would make his spark sing to see Prowl laughing, but right now, it took all of his will not to strangle his lover. "Would you mind running another diagnostic?"

The tactician got his laughter under control. "I can't. Dielgnoshtiks failed lastibit nightb. I can't bridng them balck online." He grinned at Sideswipe. "I hrthink I neled a bmedic."

"No joke." The warrior got to his feet, testing his leg. "Ready for the long walk back to Iacon?"

"Shurle."

Sideswipe kissed Prowl in the middle of his chevron and helped the tactician up. "We'll get you some help soon, sparkles."

Prowl stepped away a pout on his face. "I hate it when you call me that," or at least that is what he normally said. This time his vocalize glitched so badly that it nearly garbled the entire message.

"Slag," Sideswipe hissed. "Do you have any idea what might be wrong with you?"

"A-a-a guee-ee-sss?" The glitch seemed to about face from slurring to repetition. Not normal at all for a hardware problem. "B-b-b-attle clompewther." Very odd.

They walked as they talked, navigating the dark streets of Sunken City Delta. "That doesn't make any sense. I thought your systems froze if something went wrong with your battle computer."

"The-e-e-y do-el. Us-sually." Prowl pulled out a canister and a glowing stick popped out. He glanced to Sideswipe. "Dildju lo-ose yourspop?"

Sideswipe pulled out his energon goodie container and popped one into his mouth. "So, if usually you freeze, what happens only rarely?"

"I-I hlate the-e-ese." Prowl reluctantly ate the goody then he answered the question. "Doeln't re-e-member."

Sideswipe was about to ask why not when the distinctive noise of Seeker engines roared overhead. He shoved Prowl against a decrepit building, hiding the Enforcer's bright colors with his own darker body.

A contented purr rumbled out of Prowl's engine. His arms slipped around the warrior's back. Sideswipe looked down form watching the skies at the feeling of gentle nips on his chestplate. He shuddered at the wonderful feeling of Prowl dragging his fingers down the seams in his back. Prowl then reached up and kissed Sideswipe, his lips traced the strong jaw to nip at the black helmet. "It's been too long."

"Primus, Prowl. You're malfunctioning! You're not thinking clearly and I'm not taking advantage of that." Much as I'd like to. Slag, that Enforcer can sure turn my engine. A sound caught his attention and he clamped a hand over Prowl's mouth, silencing the tactician's reply. A seeker trine passed by overhead. He could not tell if it was the same ones as before or a different set. He did notice that they passed by slower and lower then the last ones. Primus fragging smelting pits of slag.

As soon as they vanished from sight, Sideswipe dragged Prowl into a building. He was not sure the tactician was up to a battle of any sort. Nor was he really, but he was used to long odds. Sideswipe was not willing to risk Prowl.

The sharp sounds of confident steps echoed in the streets. Sideswipe pulled out his gun, briefly checking its charge. Only half full. He had to make this quick. He glanced at Prowl to make sure the tactician was not in direct line of sight from the door, and noted the tactician's decidedly disquieted face. A quick scan revealed lower than normal temperature in his extremities. Slag, what else could go wrong?

The red mech pressed his back to the door, arming his gun. He listened, and watched the shadows that moved on the wall. He caught a glimpse of conehead shadows and glass cockpits. Then he threw himself around the threshold, opening fire. Lasers pelted his armor in return. His gun died with a subtle whine. He threw himself into their midst, piledrivers replacing his hands and he pounded on their wings, throwing them out of the doorway and into the street.

They howled at him, lashing out with their feet and fists when he got too close for comfort. Sideswipe snarled promises of pain in return. He grabbed one yellow arm, tossing the Decepticon into a wall. The other two took advantage of his brief attention to the yellow Seeker to sweep him off his feet with a smarting blow to his damaged thigh. They fell on him, tearing and denting his armor.

"Get olff hi-i-im," Prowl snarled. There was the characteristic 'pop pop' of Prowl's rifle and both Decepticons leapt to their feet shrieking in pain. Poppoppoppoppoppop. The Seekers transformed and took off, still screaming in pain.

Sideswipe sat up on his elbows to glare at the tactician. "You should have stayed put."

Prowl leaned against the building, visibly shivering. "Who-o-o's the-be syuper'or offic-c-cer?"

The warrior got to his feet and went over to the Enforcer. He put an arm around the tactician's waist, surprised at how cold Prowl was. "Let's go before they bring reinforcements."

Prowl nodded and stumbled along beside Sideswipe, his systems audibly fritzing. They traveled as fast as Sideswipe could push the tactician. The warrior ground his dental plates as he ignored Prowl's soft requests to stop; he was too tired to go on, to just leave him.

Finally Sideswipe had enough and he whipped about to face the shorter mech. He shook Prowl's shoulders, and fixed an angry stare on the tactician. "How can you ask me to do that, Prowl? I can't just leave you. Slaggit, you're still bleeding out, if I leave you, you'll die. Worse, the Decepticons could find you, it'd be too easy for them. I can't leave you. I'm not going to leave you. I refuse to leave you." He wrapped his shaking lover up in a hug, indulging in a momentary kiss. "I love you too much."

Prowl looked away, and conceded with a nod.

"You know if anyone else caught you, you'd both be slagged."

The two mechs jumped, startled out of their processors.

A sleek golden, and slightly worse for the wear, Toughline pulled up next to them and transformed into Sunstreaker's handsome form.

"Sunstreaker!" Sideswipe reached out to bang a hand on his twin's shoulder. "How'd you find us?"

The golden warrior blinked as if his brother should never have asked that question. He slowly turned and pointed the way they would come. "Did you think I'd leave you? Besides it wasn't that hard." A trail of dripped energon glowed in mockery of Sideswipe's attempts to stay hidden. "Where are you going anyway? New camp's that way." The golden twin frowned down at Prowl pointedly.

Sideswipe tightened his grip on the quivering tactician. "Prowl's not doing so hot, bro. He's a real mess."

Sunstreaker scowled thoughtfully at Prowl, his optics shifting as they changed to infrared. "Is he- Is he shaking? What's wrong with him?"

Prowl giggled suddenly, something he had not done for a while-to Sideswipe's relief. "I-I sbtill on-n-line yrrrou know."

"Tell you on the way."

Sunstreaker looked them over for a moment longer before he reached out to take Prowl. "I know you like cuddling with your superior, but it'd be faster if I take him." He gathered the black and white mech into his arms, with more care than he normally showed. "Just don't tell anybody. And you, stop laughing."

Sideswipe looked over at Prowl. Ratchet had been apoplectic, demanding to know just what the warrior had done to the tactician. It seems that the fall had knocked his battle computer offline, which then cascaded to throwing his other systems out of sync, such as his thermal regulator. There was a reason Prowl froze when his computer locked up.

Both of them were supposed to be recharging, but Sideswipe found himself unable to rest, and he saw that Prowl already had a small collection of datapads to peruse. The tactician's door wings twitched and he looked up. A smile lit his face, quickly stifled.

"Shouldn't you be recharging?" the second-in-command asked.

Sideswipe regarded Prowl evenly, brow ridge quirked. "Shouldn't you?" he countered smoothly.

"Need something to occupy that troublesome mind of yours?" Another twitch of the doorwings, a soft rumble of an engine. A hidden message. Say yes.

"Whatever."

Prowl looked around and slid off the gurney. He quietly made his way over to the red warrior, careful not to wake any of the other recharging patients. It was a small trek, as Ratchet had not wanted them to start shouting at each other and so separated them as much as he could. Prowl lay a datapad, screen down, on Sideswipe's chest. White fingers surreptitiously brushed down the warrior's forearm to grasp the black hand at the end.

"I expect a full report."

Sideswipe waited until the tactician had slipped back onto his gurney before he peeked at the screen. A time and coordinates was etched across the top of the screen. Strangely enough it was followed by a brief message, all printed so that no one would recognize the script. Prowl never liked to leave messages for his lover, written or verbal, for fear that they would fall into the wrong hands.

I have no idea what I did. Did I make a fool of myself?

Sideswipe set the datapad back down after memorizing those words, and the time for their next rendezvous before he cleared the screen. He looked at Prowl with a knowing smile on his lips and nodded. Twice.

Oh, yes Prowl. You made quite a fool of yourself.

Now how much could he make up, and still have his lover believe it?

Author's note: I attempted to work the glitches in without leaving Prowl's speech completely illegible. This chapter did not turn out as I'd planned. Originally they were going to make it all the way back to Iacon where Sunstreaker was waiting, but then I realized Sunny wouldn't abandon Sideswipe. So... Not much in the way of romance, but I tried to squeeze it in where I could.