Disclaimer: If I owned DGM, Komui and Reever would be a couple, so guess what?
Bruise
Chapter 5: Nightmare
"I'm so tired!" I exclaim, falling back onto the king-sized bed. Digging through his suitcase, Kanda gathered a few things before moving to the bathroom, "Then sleep, Baka Moyashi. I'm taking a shower."
With that, he shuts the door, and I'm left in the dim lighting, reminding him that my name is Allen, and a full moon casting a pale blue haze over the landscape.
Okay, now I shall explain the bed situation. We got off the train around noon and have been walking around the town until now, around ten at night, because the Order isn't sending a finder and we had no reservation. Every inn was booked, so the only room we could get was a fancy king-size room, which if I'm not mistaken, is used for honeymoons. Can someone drop the awkward brick on my head soon?
The room was mostly just a square. From the door, there's a small table and mini fridge on the right wall, balcony on the far wall with a dresser on its right in the corner, and the bed was on the left, a nightstand on each side. The bathroom door was on the right side of the bed.
The only lighting in the room other than the moon was the two lamps the connected to the wall on either side of the bed, and it was pretty dim.
Getting under the blankets, I claim the side close to the balcony as mine, turning on my music device since even though I was tired, my eyes felt lively and awake.
"That night he caged her, bruised and broke her, he struggled closer. Then he stole her! Violet wrists and then her ankles. Silent pain. Then he slowly saw their nightmares. Were his dreams.
"Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the window. Time will hear their voices! I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets.
"Monster, how should I feel? Turn the sheets down! Murder ears with pillow lace. There's bathtubs full of glow flies. Bathe in kerosene! Their words tattooed in his veins!"
As the song finished, the bathroom door opened, revealing a slightly wet Kanda.
In only a towel.
He had one around his waist and another he was rubbing his hair with to dry it, and he moved to his suitcase on the dresser, his back to me.
Why can't that stupid towel fall off?!
Blushing furiously, I squeak in embarrassment and pull the blankets over my face to hide it, but this must have caught Kanda's attention, because he asked, "Are you having some sort of epiphany?"
"Yes!" I yell through the blankets before I realize that the said epiphany is that I, Allen Walker, just realized that I wanted to see Yu Kanda naked.
No, this was not happening. Ignore it, Allen, and it will go away. Turning off my mp3 player and laying it on the nightstand, I bury my face in my pillow and mumble, "I'm going to sleep."
The lights go out and the mattress sinks on the opposite end, causing me to panic momentarily as I feel Kanda's heat emanating from his body. I'm not sure if it was mutual or not, but I felt really awkward right now, and I had this weird sense of needing to be closer to him. Yeah, that would help so much.
"K-Kanda?" I ask quietly, peeking up from my pillow to find his eyes on me. Seeming indifferent, he growled, "The more you talk about it, the more awkward it gets. Just go to sleep, Baka Moyashi."
Whacking him with my pillow, I correct, "It's Allen, BaKanda! Or is your brain too slow to process that?"
"I'm going to sleep, so shut up before I hit you," he grumbled, closing his dark eyes, and I immediately quieted at the threat. I mean, I know that he probably didn't mean it, but my bruises still hurt, and my rip only just healed. I don't need any more coloring.
The way we were laying now made me feel safe. My back was to the balcony and I could see Kanda's face, though I noticed that it seemed more lax than normal. He looked so much calmer and more relaxed, his frown not taking away from his beauty for once, and his lashes gently rested on his high cheekbones.
Suddenly, cobalt eyes opened, and the heat in the depths was unmistakable as he growled, "Stop staring at me. It's seriously creepy. It's bad enough that I have to share a bed with a gay guy and you watching me isn't helping."
Looking sideways at the bed since I was on my side, I mutter, "Sorry."
"Why were you staring then?"
"I don't have to answer to you," I say, closing my eyes and curling up in a ball, and for some reason, the sense of security I had vanished. Maybe it's that I feel like Kanda's mad now. Maybe I'm just feeling worthless again, but what else is new?
oO_Oo_oO_Oo
I bolt up from my sleep, breathing hard and tears streaking my face. After making sure Kanda was asleep, I get in the fetal position, my pillow between my thighs and my face, and I cry into the white cushion. Nightmares loved me so much. Somehow, I had managed to stay away from them the last couple nights, but then, they just came back full-force.
"Why can't you do anything right?! You should be put to death for your stupidity!"
Quietly, I cry into the pillow, "I'm not stupid!"
Tears fall from my eyes as Lavi pins me to the bed like he had some many times before, "Please! I don't want to do it!"
"Too bad. I own you, and you are my toy, so shut up and try not to let anyone hear you."
I scream at the top of my lungs as pain shoots up my spine before Lavi gags me, preventing me from crying out for help.
"Moyashi, why are you crying? Did you stub your toe?" a voice says mockingly from beside me.
Wiping away my tears when I realize Kanda was awake, I compose myself as best as I can before saying, "How exactly am I supposed to do that?"
"Knowing you, you'd find a way. You never give up as annoying as it is at times," he replies emotionlessly, but even so, I feel my heart lighten. Did I really just get a compliment from Kanda? It felt too good to be true.
"Anyway, answer the first question."
My spirit sank right back down to the pit of my stomach, and I looked toward the window, "No reason."
Suddenly, I'm flat on the bed, Kanda looming over me, and I feel the fear spark inside me. I couldn't get away. My voice wouldn't work. What if he does something like Lavi does? More tears leak from my eyes at the thought, and I let myself become limp. Moving so he could look straight down at me, the bluenette growled, "I've been awake since you started thrashing around and begging your pillow 'not to do it', whatever the heck that means."
"It was just a nightmare. I'm fine," I whisper, waiting until he had moved back to his side of the bed to let myself break down again. At this point, I didn't care what Kanda thought of me, and I figured he'd start yelling at me as I started to tremble in fear. No, he did something that made me freeze in shock.
Reaching out a hand, he began stroking my hair comfortingly, his palm rubbing against my jaw, and I couldn't help but scoot a little closer to him. This was the softest anyone has ever touched me, and it felt good.
It felt right.
A thumb grazed my eye, wiping away a stray tear before I felt what sounded like a tiny purr escape my lips, because I was just so happy. The nightmare was forgotten. The moon's beams highlighted Kanda's face in such a beautiful way, and my eyes widened as I saw his lips curved up in a smile. Not a smirk, but a real smile. It was tiny, almost nonexistent, but it was something that I never thought I'd ever witness. Heck, I thought it would never happen.
As quick as I had seen it, the smile morphed into its usual frown, and I felt my joy lessen a bit, but I really became disappointed when Kanda pulled away completely. Not wanting the contact to end, I grab his hand and pull it back to my chest, holding it there, and I give him a pleading look, more tears beginning to well in my eyes, "Please?"
Instead of replying, the bluenette closes his eyes, his hand gripping one of mine, and I smile genuinely for the first time in a long time. Nearly inaudibly, I whisper, "Thank you, Kanda."
His grip tightened momentarily so that I knew he heard me, and I fell back to sleep, holding his hand and listening to his steady breathing.
Oo_oO_Oo_oO
When I wake up, I'm holding my pillow instead of Kanda's hand, and I bolt up, glancing around. I quickly found the samurai on the balcony, probably meditating, and I stand up unsteadily.
We eat breakfast in the lobby of our inn. Hey, there's nothing better than a free breakfast!
Especially when I'm just going to throw it back up.
"I look like crap," I tell my reflection after I brush my teeth a few times. I've used a lot more toothpaste the last couple days, and I must say that it's worth it. Knowing that I'm losing weight makes me happy, and I feel like I'm becoming a better exorcist.
After I cut, take a shower, and get dressed, I begin putting on my make-up, and I'm nearly done covering the bruise on my jaw when I hear a knock on the door.
"Come in!" I say, trying to finish quickly. Kanda walked in casually, but then stopped, looking at my frantic strokes over my jaw, and he says, "I've seen it before, Baka."
Sighing and slowing my pace, I mutter, "I know. It's just that Lavi never likes to see them."
"Do I look like that Baka Usagi to you?" he growls. I don't reply and begin on my powder when he says, "You said that like he sees them a lot."
It took every ounce of self-control I had not to freeze when he said that, but I nonchalantly reply, "I get bruises a lot. Training with demonic punching bags that like to punch back, sparing with long-haired jerks, and missions can do that to you. As I said, no one sees them since I cover them."
"You cover them just because Lavi doesn't like them."
"No, I did it before then." As in, before he made the comment about them. I started covering them the first time he ever hit me. Of course, I don't say that and just continue, "What do you need?"
Staring at me through the mirror, Kanda says, "I asked a few people in the inn about the murders while you were in the shower. Apparently those tattoos you mentioned could have something to do with it. There are ten girls that have them and they all hang out together."
"A clique?"
"Yeah, and they were really religious. They would go to this shrine a pray every afternoon."
"Where is it at?" I ask, finishing my makeup and heading toward the door after I grab my jacket. Pointing towards the forest at the edge of the town, Kanda says, "Somewhere in that next to a river."
Beginning to walk in that direction, I say, "That's not much to go on."
"I'm not the one that decided to take an hour long shower instead of looking for leads. I at least got us somewhere," he growled. It didn't take long for us to make it to the forest, and I was super glad that my rip had healed with the number of boulders and roots we had to go over.
Kanda and I walked for another hour, still no sign of a river, and I sat down on a rock that jutted out from a steep bank. Rolling his eyes, the samurai says, "This is not the time for a break. We need to find that shrine."
"Shut up, BaKanda! I know that, but we need some sort of strategy for finding it…" I trail off, looking straight up at the oak tree towering over us. His eyes followed my gaze, and he muttered, "The tree isn't the answer."
Glaring at him, I say, "Either find a better idea or shut it!"
"Better idea?"
Leaping up the bank in a few strides, I eye the thick vines dangling from the branches and coiling around the trunk of the oak, and I ask, "You knew I was in the circus, right?"
"No, but I knew you were a clown at heart," he mocked.
My face darkened as I looked at him, "My father was a clown, so don't smart off about it. Got that?"
He doesn't say anything, but I'm pretty sure he has enough of a brain to know that Mana isn't a line to be crossed.
Taking a few steps back, I launch myself across the empty space between me and the tree, clutching the vines in a death grip as I swung carefully, and I grab a few on the oak, using them as a ladder until I get to a fat branch. Standing on it and holding one above me for support, I lean back and realize that I could have just used Crown Clown. Oh well! The good side was Kanda was staring at me like I had just been resurrected, and it felt good to show off for once. Smirking, I call down to the samurai forty feet below me, "How's that? You wanna try it?"
"I choose not to break my neck," he growls, and I stick my tongue out at him childishly before I start going up. Tiny branches scraped my skin and the abrasive bark made my hands feel raw, but I kept going until I could see the horizon through the glossy leaves. The sky was a pale blue, fluffy marshmallows floating leisurely through the air, and I stared in awe.
For the most part, all I could see was greenery, but not too far away I could make out some rocks and what seemed to be a small waterfall. Great, I found it! Or at least water of some kind.
"What did you find?" Kanda asked as I slid down a vine, hopping down next to him lightly. Pointing towards where I saw the waterfall, I say, "I'm not sure if it will lead us to the shrine, but I saw a waterfall about a half-mile away."
Nodding, he begins walking towards the destination, and I follow about a foot behind him. We hadn't mentioned last night at all, and it was starting to gnaw at me. What if he tells Lavi and the redhead thinks I'm cheating? Shivering at the thought, I quickly catch up to the samurai and ask, "Kanda?"
"Che," he grumbled, though I assume it was his version of "what". Pulling my sleeves down nervously, I continue, "About last night…I, uh―"
"Just forget about it," he said bluntly, not glancing away from the trail ahead of him.
"Forget about it?" I echo, looking to him before I got thwacked by a branch. This was followed by a very well placed root that decided to stick up a little, not much, but enough to make me trip and face plant in a small bush, and I yelp, struggling to free myself from the creeping vines and bracken that was hiding me. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I give up with roots twisted over my arms and legs and large fern fronds covering me, green littering my vision, but I didn't need my sight to know that Kanda was smirking as he said, "Baka Moyashi, are you trying to catch a mouse, because I think it got away."
"Shut up! Just get me out!" I whine, hearing the crunch of undergrowth beneath Kanda's boots. The ferns are parted to reveal the bluenette, and as he began pulling at my restraints, he grunts, "How did you manage to get caught in this?"
Whimpering quietly, I say, "The heck if I know. Everything hates me."
Kanda stopped and looked at me, his eyes telling me that I worded that awfully, and I needed to cover it up. Smiling, I correct, "You know, the plants and stuff. Not people."
Not replying, he finally gets me free from the vines, and I gratefully take his outstretched hand. When he tried to pull back however, I keep his hand in both of mine, holding it to my chest, and I say, "You would never have offered help to me, or anyone for the matter, a couple months ago. What's different?"
"What was your nightmare about?"
Freezing, I look down at the ground and let go of his hand, but it quickly returns with the other, gently pushing me back until my back was against a tree. Kanda uses a hand to tilt my chin up, and our gazes meet as he says, "If you tell me what your nightmare was about, I'll tell you what's changed."
"I…um…" I trail off, pierced by his dark eyes, and I suddenly feel trapped, like I can't escape. The feeling of safety I had had with Kanda last night vanished as he held me to the tree, hands on each side of my shoulders, and I internally panicked, fighting the urge to scream for help. Cobalt eyes widened while tears bubbled from my eyes, and I could clearly see my fear reflected back at me in the midnight orbs.
Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. He's not trying to freak you out. He's not trying to freak you out. In. Out.
"Are you bipolar or something?" he muttered, backing away from me quickly, and I let myself fall to my knees, trying not to hyperventilate. Why can't I keep it together? Why can't I trust someone that truly saved me from having more nightmares last night?
Why can I never feel safe?
Author Note: Hm, this was a long chapter, and I didn't even get to where I wanted to be at. Actually, you guys just got saved from a cliffhanger, too. I love to torture my viewers! Anyways, please, Please, PLEASE R/R!