Off to the Side: Bluestreak

Author's notes: It was commented on LJ that Bluestreak deserved a few words. Well, naturally, being Bluestreak, he rambled.This will actually take place after the next storyline piece (which I'm attempting to whip into one chapter, but the muses tend to be temperamental about such things). There should be hints of what's to come... I think, I hope.

Who am I?

When you look at me, and your optics dim and you smile so softly, who do you see?

I know it's not me. For when you are looking at me, you never look like that. And I know that before me, there's been Equinox and Smokescreen, and Alterside and Ion, each of them the same model, the same frame, as I. Is it some odd fetish you have? Much like Sunstreaker and rotary assemblies? Or Ratchet and vocal indicators? Or that old kink where mechs would pair with femmes, like Ironhide or Prime (can it really be bad, when Prime's doing it?)? Or is there some Enforcer back on Cybertron that has won your affection. A comrade lost in battle many vorn ago? A lover, a friend? Do you look at me and see him, or her, in your arms, by your side. Do you kiss their lips, caress their panels?

It is inevitable that we end up here, on Lookout Mountain. We drive around, and always our tires roll to a stop here. We transform and enjoy the view. I stay quiet, because I know you don't want to be disturbed. You stare into space, lost in your own processor.

Who are you looking for? Is it that lost love?

Or your brother?

In all the time I've known you two, I've never seen Optimus separate you for so long. Why would he do that? With most of the Decepticons on Cybertron, you are wasted here .You should be there with Sunny. Why did Prime separate you? I don't understand. Ultra Magnus doesn't know your abilities like Prowl does. He doesn't know what you're capable of, not like Prowl. Prowl knows you and knows how to handle your tactics and make them fit with his own.

But Prowl and Jazz are on one of the Moonbases with your brother.

Now isn't that funny? Inevitably, when I think of you, I think about Prowl and anyone else you annoy. I wonder if you miss him? Miss annoying him? And annoying Ratchet and Ironhide?

I just can't figure out why Optimus left Ultra Magnus, who really doesn't know that much of the situation on Earth, but does know about the situation on Cybertron. I can't process any reason.

No. I'm certain that you miss Sunny. Are you seeking him through your bond? To make sure he's still alive? Do you let him know you miss him?

You must miss someone.

Now your optics turn down, and you smile that smile at me, but not for me.

Who are you seeing? What colors does your imagination paint me?

I know what will come next. I should walk away, but I don't. I never do. I don't know why I take it.

You wrap me up in your arms, gathering me to you, like I'm the most precious thing on this planet.

But it's not me.

You bury your face into my neck, your dental plates scraping down my power lines. Your hands caress and stroke my doorwings, making me hiss in pleasure.

But it's not me.

Why do I do this to myself? I let you guide me into the bushes, out of sight of the city. You press me down, your touches sure and needing.

But it's not me.

You look surprised when I react at some places and not others, and I know that it's not me under your hands. Your mouth moves soundlessly against my chestplate, and if I didn't know any better I would think you whispered my nickname. But I do know better.

And it's not me.

It doesn't happen all the time. I guess that's why I keep coming back. Why I don't walk away. Because sometimes you look at me, and see me, and not the ghost of whomever you miss. Those times I treasure more than any memory of peace.. Those are the days when you know where to touch me and when your optics flash brightly and you grin at me and murmur my name. But not today.

Today, it isn't me.