A/N: So sorry this took me so long to write! I've been falling behind in school and didn't do so well on my midterms so I need to focus more on my school work. On the upside, this chapter is far longer than any of the others that I have written, so hopefully it will be able to keep ya happy for a little while. I'll try to update as soon as I can.
As always R & R and thank you so much for sticking with me! I LOVE reading everyone's comments :D!
I have to say, life felt quite different after that. Once I admitted to Rachel, and to myself, that I loved her, and when she said it back, it was like we were living in a different place or an entirely different world altogether. We had our own world, just the two of us, that no one could touch us in. Everything felt natural and it was really hard to explain it in words, but I realized that I had never felt so content in life than I did at that moment. Those three words I never hesitated saying, again and again, every chance I got. It was how I said good night, how I said good morning and absolutely everything in between. Once they came out, I never wanted to put them away again.
Looking back on that moment now, it was easily one of the best moments of my life.
The hospital trip was fairly short and uneventful, except that we couldn't stop staring at each other with silly, stupid grins. Rachel would just glance over at me, innocently enough, then I would look at her and she would begin to smile a little and I found myself mirroring her until we were both sitting in the waiting room and giggling. We must've looked insane, but neither of us could care less.
I got seven stitches, which wasn't too bad (I'd had much worse), and a new cast. I was awake to pick the colour this time and I picked pink, for my girlfriend. When we got back into her car, she found a Sharpie marker in the glove compartment and signed my cast in big black letters, taking up the entire length and adding her signature star at the end. Her eyes were concentrated and determined as she tried to write her name perfectly on the curved, uneven surface and she blew a puff of air at the stubborn bangs that repeatedly fell into her view. Her tongue had poked out for just a second as she bit down on it while drawing the star and I smiled to myself as I watched her, so encased in what she was doing. She blushed as she finished, realizing that I had been staring at her the entire time and she ducked her head while tucking her hair behind her ears and asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
My smile grew but I didn't respond, instead I turned down the passenger visor so that I could see her signature on my cast in the tiny vanity mirror and the uneasy breath I inhaled caught me off guard. I could remember that not so long ago I was worried about having Rachel on my arm as we walked around school and sometime, when neither of us was really paying attention, the world had turned upside down on its axis and the pride that I felt, for just having a simple signature on my cast, was overwelming. It was her signature and that made it irreplaceable.
I took the marker from her hand, before she could put it away, and lightly pulled the neckline of her camisole down with one hand and used my other to sign my name over her left breast.
"What are you doing," she asked as I placed a gentle kiss to the area when I was finished.
It was silly and cheesy, but I had acted on impulse and suddenly the entire thing seemed embarrassing, but I shrugged and answered anyway, "You signed my broken arm to help heal it, I signed your heart to protect it from ever breaking."
I could see her breath catch in her throat as she locked her fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me towards her for a kiss. She mumbled how much she loved me against my lips and I responded in the same manner as I awkwardly leaned over the stick shift. I broke away from her, reluctantly, a few minutes later, knowing that we couldn't sit in the hospital parking lot all day and a disappointed sigh left her throat as my body moved away from hers.
She dropped me back off at the competition site, where I had left my car, and the site was now bustling with people. I leaned into the driver side window, giving her a kiss to tide us both over until we saw each other again, and when I leaned away from her she had a sad look on her face.
"What's wrong," I asked, lifting her chin towards me with the tips of my fingers.
"Oh, it's nothing," she said, forcing a smile, "Silly really."
"Tell me anyways," I urged, resting my cast on the window frame and swiping my thumb across her chin.
"Well," Rachel said slowly, taking in a large breath and rolling her eyes as she let it out, "I don't want you to go."
I smiled slightly, because I knew the feeling and it felt good to know that we were both, truly, on the same page. Even if we were apart for mere minutes it felt like days and I understood how crazy that sounded. I knew that most people would scoff at how quickly and deeply we had fallen for each other, but my only response to that was that those people had never really experienced true love. In the past I had never even considered that there was one person out there for everybody, who when you met them and were with them, everything would be exceptionally amazing for the rest of their lives. Soulmates I supposed the term was. I was too busy keeping score in the race to the most people I could sleep with, relationships just felt like something to hold me back.
Rachel had made things different from the start. I could always feel it, that invisible chain holding us together and drawing us back when we had strayed too far from each other. I was sure no one else around us had even noticed that there was any kind of connection between us, there really wasn't anything to see. Rachel and I had never spent much time together, but when we did have our brief encounters, no one was watching us. The times when I would wrap an arm around her during a musical number, or dance a little nearer than needed in rehearsal, remembering how my stomach would flutter when I had to stand next to her and her bare arm would graze against mine, there were so many little hints that I had been ignoring for a long time and had gone unnoticed by everyone around us.
"You'll see me tonight," I reasoned, for both her sake and mine, knowing that I wanted to leave as much as she wanted me to, but she pouted in response.
"It's going to be a long six hours," she sighed.
"Text me when you get home," I smiled, leaning in to bite her earlobe playfully, as my hand teased her side.
"You could just stay with me," she said softly, hooking a finger into the neck of my shirt and tugged it towards herself, pulling me into a kiss.
I broke away, finding the strength that she obviously didn't have at that moment, and winked at her as I straightened.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said, turning towards the motocross track and leaving her behind to watch me walk away and find my discarded bike.
I had just closed the door to my bedroom behind me when I heard the familiar chime of my phone, telling me I had received a text message. I dropped back onto my bed unceremoniously as I fished the phone out of my jeans and illuminated the screen.
Entertain me.
-Rach
I pressed my lips together as I tried to think of a way to pass the time, but, as usual, my hormones were controlling my brain and all I could thing about was sexting.
Did you have something in mind?
-Britt
I switched my phone to vibrate and dropped it on my stomach as I stared up at my plain, boring, white ceiling, patiently awaiting her next message. It came about thirty seconds later, and I smiled at the feel of the vibrations against my stomach.
Tell me about your first time.
The words surprised me. She had said that she didn't want to talk about my past sexual relationships and now she was asking for the information. I wasn't sure what she was getting at, what the information she was looking for was, so I decided it was best to ask her to clarify before I put my foot in my mouth.
What do you want to know?
The wait was longer in between texts this time, two minutes longer, and when you're waiting for a text, two minutes is a very long time. But it finally came and I eagerly scooped up my phone, from the bed this time, to see what she had texted back.
How did it happen? How old were you? What was it like? Were you scared? Did you love them?
I smiled at the list of questions because with my eyes closed, I could actually hear her blurting them out, one after another without even taking a breath, and expecting me to answer just as quickly.
I wasn't prepared to give all that personal information away for free, though, and I was an expert in trading.
Send me a pic and I'll tell you.
I hadn't said naked picture, so I figured the probability of her agreeing to the request would be pretty high. It took even longer for her to reply this time, though, and I wondered if I had upset her. Maybe from her point of view she was really just trying to have a conversation with me, a heart to heart, open conversation, and I was ruining it by asking for things in exchange.
My fears vanished though when I clicked a button to illuminate the screen on my phone and found a picture loading. I held my breath as it loaded. I'm not sure what I was expecting, I knew that she was going to be fully clothed, but I think it was the fact that she was doing what I told her to that was so exciting.
My breath still managed to catch when the photo finally loaded and my hand began to travel down my body as I took it in. She was laying on her bed, just as I was, and she had held out her phone above her to take the picture. Her hair was lightly messed around her pillow, her camisole wrinkled and raised enough so that I could just make out a small glimpse of her tanned stomach, and she had a nervous smile that told me this was the first time she'd ever sent anyone a picture like this before. My absolute favorite part of the picture, though, the part that was driving me wild, was that the angle she had taken it, was the exact way that I would be seeing her if I was laying above her on that bed with her.
Did you know I have the sexiest girlfriend in the world?
I smirked as I typed it out and sent the message, because maybe not everyone would associate Rachel Berry with 'sexy', but I knew better.
You really think so?
The words stung a bit, because I knew it was a real question. She was so insecure inside and I was still trying to get over the guilt of being one of the perpetrators to have had a hand in putting those insecurities there in the first place.
Do you really think I'd be with you if I didn't?
After I sent the text I realized that I could've probably responded with something a little better than that. A definite 'yes' or an 'of course' would've likely been better than the open ended question I had sent, but I hoped she understood the meaning.
Sometimes I wonder why you're with me...
My heart broke as I read the text, genuinly upset that she still didn't get it. She still couldn't see past the teasing and bullying and realize how extraordinary she was.
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. If I were to make a list about the reasons why I'm with you, it would be never ending. I love your smile and the way you get excited at the littlest things. I love how you're always able to pick yourself up off the ground when things get rough and your almost entirely consistent positive outlook. I love the way you roll your eyes at me when I say something stupid, or your ability to make me feel like the only person in the world when you look at me. I'm with you because when I think about where I'll be in ten years, all I can see is you.
I was typing the message frantically, not stopping to read the words over again, as my mind began to spit out sentences. By the time I had it all written out I realized that there was so much more I wanted to say, but decided I better let her sit with those words for now.
Minutes went by and a response from her never came and I tried to think of all the things she could be doing that would prevent her from writing me back. It was frustrating, not knowing what was going on at her end. I rolled onto my side, hugging my phone in my arms and closed my eyes for a moment as I tried to wait as patiently as I could.
Almost immediately after my eyes had shut, my phone erupted into vibrations and I quickly mashed the buttons to turn the screen on. When it finally lit up, it showed another loading screen, indicating that I was receiving another picture from Rachel. My heart skipped as I waited, anxious to see what this one would show.
When the image finally loaded, I would've probably passed out, had I not already been lying down on my bed. She was still in the same position, lying back on her bed with the camera angled above her, but her camisole was gone, leaving her in a black bra with hot pink stars, and she was playfully biting the tip of her index finger on her free hand. Her skin looked so soft and smooth, except for the bite marks and hickeys that I had given her on our previous adventures, and the look in her dark, dark eyes, was one purely of need.
Is this enough? Can you answer my questions now?
Her text message interrupted my daydream and I felt myself nodding idiotically as I typed my response.
Yes. That's more than enough.
I sent the text and then hesitated as I recalled my first time. I had no regrets about it, I had very few in life despite the many major mistakes I had made, but I was always one to believe that to have regrets meant that you didn't like the person you had become. Every little mistake made in life shapes who that person becomes. It still wasn't something I was exceedingly proud of. I probably should have waited until it meant something, or until I was a little older, but sex had never meant more than sex to me.
I was 14 and it was with a boy named Hayden. I had a bit of a crush on him, but I wasn't in love with him. It was his 15th birthday party and he asked me if I wanted to see his room. I agreed and once in his room we started making out on his bed and he asked me if I wanted to go all the way. We had sex. It was uncomfortable and awkward. End of the magical story.
I'd never actually talked to anyone about my first time before and it felt strange doing it with Rachel. I really hated the fact that I couldn't see her as I was telling her to gauge her reaction to everything. I hoped that I wasn't turning her off from the idea of sex or giving her a bad image of me. Thankfully, I did not have to wait long for her next text.
That sounds a little sad. This may sound selfish, but if you want to, I would like to think of our first time and my first time as your first time too.
The words confused me. It sounded nice, but how was it suppose to be my first time when I had sex with almost the entire school population.
How would that work?
There was a lump in my stomach that was making me wish I waited. That I had waited for someone special and for that perfect moment just like Rachel had been doing all this time. I had never really cared about it before, but being with her made me cherish the intimate moments and understand what it meant to share your body with someone you love and only that person. In the past I would never hesitate to cheat on the person I was with, I had 'Stupid Brittany's innocence as an excuse, but in all truth cheating didn't mean anything to me. Now that I was with Rachel, I couldn't even imagine hurting her like that, nor did I even find anyone remotely attractive anymore. Maybe it was because it was all too new and we hadn't had sex yet, but I knew in my gut that was not the reason. I couldn't imagine a situation where I could rationalize cheating on her in my head.
She was mine and I was hers and that was it.
Just believe it. You're not the same person you were when you had your first time. You're not the fake Brittany you created to fit in with the Cheerios. This will be the first time that the real Brittany S. Pierce has sex. It really will be your first time, Brittany, and I really want it to be with me.
The last sentence gave me great pause. She wanted my first time as the real Brittany to be with her. There was no indication on when that first time would be, but I knew, somehow I knew, that I would not be waiting much longer. We had gotten to our 'I love you's. We had admitted them truthfully and openly and we had come out to the entire school. There were no secrets and we were living this perfect relationship and sex was the inevitable next step that I knew we would be getting to soon. The build up was excruciating and extraordinary all at once and as much as it frustrated me that my lower half was tied in knots with the unresolved sexual tension, I was still loving every minute of it. The uncertainty of when it would happen and the rush of taking it that little bit further each time was making it that much more exciting.
You're right, as always ;). This will be the first time that I will be having sex as myself, and not playing a part, and I'm so glad it's going to be with you. I'm so thankful to have you in my life, Rachel. You keep calling me your hero, but you're the real hero. You saved me from the hole I had kept digging for myself and didn't know how to crawl back out of. You're my angel. You're the only person who's ever really known me and I promise that you will always be safe with me.
I was near tears as I typed the message, my thumb shaking as I pressed the 'send' button, but being so open to another person was never my strength. People always thought that they knew me, but every bit of information I gave them was always just a lie. Even Santana didn't really know anything about me. Quinn didn't either, but she was so inciteful and although I never confided in her, she knew that all I was speaking was lies. I loved her for never calling me on it and simply giving me that all knowing half smile. As much as I considered Quinn to be a sister to me, in another life, I could've seen things between us being very different.
Thank you for waiting for me, Brittany. It means a lot to me that you are willing to do this for me. I've had so many people try to pressure me into having sex and, although we can get carried away at times, you always respect me enough to stop and not press it upon me. When I ask you to stop, I never have to feel guilty about it, because I know you understand.
I was happy that she could see how hard it was for me to hold back, her sending me that message and awknowleding the struggle I had been having and thanking me for it, made me glad that all my efforts hadn't gone unnoticed. It was so hard not to pressure her, but I didn't want to be one of those kinds of people, and more than anything I did want our first time to be special. I wanted it to be just as perfect as Rachel imagined it.
We have all the time in the world, Rach. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready.
"Brittany," Leroy exclaimed as he welcomed me at the door later that evening. He quickly wrapped me into a warm embrace, as he said, "You truly are a godsend."
I wished I was welcomed like this in my own home.
"Why," I asked as he pulled away from me and ushered me into the house.
"Rachel told us about the song you sang to her in front of the whole school and saving her life at your own expense," he said motioning towards my cast, "It's so nice to know that Rachel has found someone that cares for her as much as Hiram and I do."
"Oh," I smiled, not sure how to respond to such a wonderful compliment.
"No need to be bashful," Leroy said, his warm smile seeming to grow larger with each word, "You're a hero."
I shrugged, feeling my cheeks grow hot as I wasn't used to getting such kind words from adults. I decided to quickly change the subject before the water works began and looked up the stairs, "Is Rachel waiting to make her grand entrance again?"
"Not today," Leroy laughed and then leaned in to whisper, "Although between us, she has asked how she looks a few hundred times in the past hour."
"So where is she," I asked, looking into their sitting room and finding it empty.
"Here," Rachel bounced out of the kitchen, "I needed some water."
She looked stunning as always, wearing a short black skirt and a dark red top with a low neckline. It was a little fancier than something she'd wear to school, a little more adult, and I think what I loved the most was that I was getting both worlds. During the day I got my school girl fantasy and at night I got something a little more elegant.
"I have a surprise for you," she said excitedly, skipping around behind me and covering my eyes with her hands. She pressed up against my back, using her body to guide me where she wanted me to go and after we had walked a few steps, her hands fell and she said, "Open your eyes."
I opened my eyes and found myself in their sitting room facing their back wall. The wall had several framed pictures of Rachel in different stages of her life and in the middle, the biggest out of all the pictures, with the most elegant gold frame that could be imagined, was the photo of Rachel and I in our gowns for the country club dinner. She was standing on the steps, with her arm extended, and I was leaning down and kissing it. It looked like something out of a fairytale movie, even if there were two princesses. It was a modern fairytale.
What struck me more than the beauty of the photo, was that I was on the Berry family wall, framed and all. It was like I was a part of the family already, like this was their welcoming gesture, and I could feel myself beginning to get emotional once again.
"Rach," I breathed, blindly reaching for her hand and after a few failed attempts at finding it, she took pity on me and slipped hers into mine, "It's so perfect."
I felt her chin rest on my shoulder as I continued to stare in awe at it, still in disbelief that her and her family had accepted me so easily, and she whispered, "You're perfect."
I finally tore my eyes away from the photo and turned my head to look at her face still on my shoulder, smiling modestly as I gave her nose a soft kiss and whispered back, "I love you."
She squeezed my hand in hers and used the fingers on her other hand to gently draw lines up and down my arm, "I love you, too."
"Hiram, aren't they just adorable," I heard Leroy say from somewhere behind us, reminding me of their presence.
"Dad, you're embarrassing me," Rachel said through clenched teeth, but I knew it was an act. She was loving all of this. Her dad's knew as well, smirking to each other as Rachel rolled her eyes and pretended to be annoyed with them.
I kissed the top of her head, momentarily realizing that, motocross aside, my life was perfect. Maybe not perfect, but all the parts that were less than perfect, Rachel made up for by just being with me.
"Oh, Brittany," Hiram spoke up as if he was just recalling something.
"Yes," I asked, turning towards her dads, but keeping her hand in mine.
"Leroy and I would like it if you came for dinner tomorrow evening," he smiled, "You know, in honour of your heroic endeavors towards our daughter the other day."
"I'm cooking," Rachel exclaimed, her grip on my hand tightening as she rocked back on her heels.
"I can't wait," I smiled back down at her, resisting the urge to kiss her in front of her dads.
"Excellent," Leroy said and I turned back towards the photo for one last look before leading Rachel towards the front door.
"We've gotta go," I said, almost apologetically, to Rachel's dads. I wanted to stay and talk to them longer, it actually felt better to be in Rachel's house, with her family, than to be in my house with mine, but once again, my surprise had a specific time.
"Not too late, now," Hiram warned Rachel and she rolled her eyes once again in response.
"Dad," she said, drawing the word out and using a tone to say that he was being unreasonable, even though he hadn't really given her a curfew. It felt like it was a ritual that they always did. I could tell they trusted her completely and had so much faith in their daughter that she would make the right choices, but they still wanted to keep her close by and were fighting with themselves to give her the space to grow into an adult.
Leroy laughed at Rachel's whined response and said, "Have fun girls."
I gave them both a smile and nod as we left her house, leading her down the front steps to my car, keeping her hand in mine until she was sitting in the passanger side and I had to close the door behind her. Once I had settled into the driver's side and had my door closed, Rachel's hands were around my neck, pulling me towards her until our lips were crashing together. As much as I loved being in control and being the one on top, Rachel's new found confidence in her romantic actions was very sexy and she'd also started doing this little moan in the back of her throat when we kissed, like she wanted me to devour her, and it drove me wild. I wasn't even sure she was aware that she was doing it and, to be honest, it was even hotter knowing that it may be involuntary. I wrapped my arms around her waist as I awkwardly leaned into her, across the stick shift, and shivered as I felt her nails scratch lightly against the skin on the back of my neck. I trailed my right hand down to her hip, rubbing circles there with the palm of my hand as Rachel bit down on my bottom lip and then sucked on it. I moaned softly, letting her know the effect what she was doing was having on me, and she did it again as I leaned even closer to her, pushing my hand down her hip and down into the seat so I could grip her butt. As soon as my hand got there, one of her hands left my neck and pulled my hand up from underneath her, and I couldn't cover the disappointed sigh between kisses. Rachel was full of surprises though, and instead of moving my hand back to her hip, she continued to trail it up her body, over the jutting bone of her hip, the gentle flutter of her stomach, and the bumpy ridges of her ribcage to the soft flesh of her breast. She pressed my hand against her, closing her hand on mine until I had her breast squeezed under my fingers, the same way as the evening before, and she broke away from our kiss to gasp, her dark eyes fixed on mine. Her chest pushed forward against my hand as she heaved in a breath, my name on her lips as she exhaled, making me want nothing more but to have her lips on mine again. Before I could close the distance between us, my attention was turned to the front window of her house and although the street lights were casting a reflection on it, obstructing my view inside, I realized that if Rachel's dads were there, they would likely not be impressed by what I was doing to their daughter.
"Rach," I sighed and her gaze followed mine to her front window.
"I've been thinking about this all day," she whispered, taking her hand off mine and turning in her seat until she was sitting on it properly.
"Me too," I admitted, being with her was the only thing I ever thought about, "but we probably shouldn't be doing this where your dads can see us."
I saw her blush out of the corner of my eye as I turned the ignition and started my car and she slowly licked her lips before she replied, "I can't even think logically when I'm around you anymore. I've suddenly become one of those teenagers who make decisions based soley on their raging hormones, no matter what the consequences."
"No you haven't," I giggled as I pulled out of their driveway and headed down the street, "You're exaggerating."
"I'm really not," she protested, folding her arms across her chest, "So where are you taking me?"
"It's a surprise, remember," I smiled, reaching over and giving her knee a squeeze, "Nice try."
She pretended to pout, but a few minutes later she looked more interested in where we were going than keeping up her facade and as we left the lights of Lima behind us, she began to get even more confused.
"Brittany," she said slowly, looking out at the dark empty Ohio fields around us, "Are you kidnapping me?"
"I wish," I laughed, taking the back of her hand to my lips and giving it a loving kiss as we stole away into the darkness of the highway. "We'll be there soon."
"Wouldn't it be lovely to run away together, though," she said excitedly, and her eyes took on the sort of glow they got when she was talking about her future on Broadway.
"Anywhere with you would be great," I said, and for a moment I allowed myself to believe that that was what we were doing. Our suitcases were packed in the trunk of the car as we headed to New York, where Rachel would fulfill her Broadway dreams and I would... I would... Figure something out when I got there.
"It could be like an old black and white movie," Rachel continued, "Two girls in love, heading to the big city to make all their dreams come true. I believe a flapper dress would fit my body perfectly, what do you think?"
"I think we're here," I smirked, pulling off the highway and up to the admissions window. Rachel quickly looked out her window and saw the large sign, almost leaping out of her seat when she read the words.
"Barbra Streisand marathon," she shrieked as I rolled down the window to pay for the ticket at the drive-in movie theatre.
"I saw it in the paper the other day," I explained, taking my change from the lady and driving into the lot. The car rocked as Rachel bounced up and down in her seat and when I finally found a good spot and turned the car off, she practically leaped into my lap as she hugged me.
The old drive-in usually played old black and white movies, like the one Rachel had just been explaining, and I enjoyed coming to see the old Hitchcocks on the big screen. Tonight, however, they had decided to put on a Streisand double feature, consisting of What's Up, Doc? and, of course, Funny Girl. Both movies sounded boring to me, I would much rather watch a good horror or action movie, but obviously I was going to take Rachel when they were playing a Streisand marathon, no matter how much I didn't care for it.
"I have a gift for you," I said softly, suddenly embarrassed at the choice in gift I had made.
"Really," she asked, her face lighting up and she bounced in her seat. Her eyes began to dart around the car before she asked, excitedly, "What is it?"
I reached over her into the glove compartment and retrieved the small white box, handing it to her as I nervously fidgeted with my fingers.
"Open it," I urged, watching her face and wanting to remember her exact reaction to the gift.
She gave me one final look before turning her eyes down to the box and gently pulling off the top.
"Oh, Brittany," she gasped, her hand going to her heart as she stared down at the piece of gold jewelry.
"I know how much you like wearing the name of the person you're dating around your neck," I explained, hoping that she understood that and didn't think it was because I wanted to own her or something crazy like that, "Now, it can be my name. If you want it to."
"Of course I want it to," Rachel whispered, her fingers outlining each letter that spelled out my name. Finally she looked back up at me and held out the box, "Would you put it on me?"
I nodded, cursing my shaking fingers as I carefully pulled the delicate chain from the box and wrapped it around her neck. My fingers fumbled a few times with the tiny clasp until it finally latched and I uttered a celebratory, "There."
She turned back towards me, her fingers playing with my name as she smiled and asked, "How does it look?"
"Absolutely perfect," I breathed, feeling myself getting emotional at my name hanging from her dainty neck.
She leaned forward and kissed me, before settling back into her seat, all the while playing with it as she smirked happily to herself.
As we waited for the movie to start, I watched as Rachel began to shift uncomfortably in her seat and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said quickly and then shrugged, "It's just, I would like to cuddle with you, but the shifting thingy is in the way."
"We could sit in the back seat," I offered, pointing my thumb in its direction, and before I had even finished speaking, she had climbed over the centre console and into the backseat. I smirked back at her as she bit down on her lip, "You were just waiting for me to say that, weren't you?"
"Maybe," she shrugged playfully, then grabbed my arm and dragged me back with her on the seat. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she leaned her head against me and I tried my best to pay attention as the movie started.
It definitely wasn't my kind of movie and a few times, when I thought I had blinked, I would discover that at least ten minutes of the movie had gone by. By the time the first movie ended, I was wishing that it wasn't a double feature on tonight, I didn't think I would be able to stay awake for another Streisand movie, but Rachel looked so blissful I wouldn't allow myself to put a damper on it.
"What did you think," she asked as the intermission between movies began.
"One of my favorite movies," I lied, hoping she wouldn't notice.
"Really," she asked, her face looking surprised, "I didn't know you could see it through your eyelids."
Busted. I really hadn't thought she'd even noticed.
"It's all right," she laughed, bumping my shoulder with hers, "I know it's not your sort of thing and I'm very thankful that I have a girlfriend who is willing to do things that make me happy."
"I want to make you very happy," I said suggestively, turning towards her so that I had one knee on the seat and gently laid her back onto the seat. She shifted beneath me, pulling her knee towards her chest before wedging it inbetween me and the back of the seat so that I could settle between her legs, where I always fit so perfectly. I put my injured arm down on the seat near her shoulders and supported my upper weight there as I leaned down and kissed her. I slipped my good hand between our bodies as we kissed, and had barely gotten it under the hem of her shirt when I felt her hands pushing my shoulders back.
"We should set some rules," she reasoned and then added, "We can get a little carried away when we're making out."
"Okay," I agreed, although not happily, "What are the rules?"
She lifted the bottom of her shirt until I could just see a sliver of the bottom of her black bra with the pink stars, then wiggled her skirt down her hips until I could see the pink hem of her panties. She bit down on her lip, watching me as I stared down at all the skin she was showing me and wondering where the rules part came in.
"You can only kiss the skin you can see," she said, her knuckles caressing my cheek as she spoke. "Is that satisfactory?"
I dragged the fingers of my good hand down her smooth stomach, watching her muscles flutter under my touch and nodded, "For now."
I leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped me again by saying, "Wait."
"What," I whispered, rubbing my hand up and down her side because I assumed she had grown nervous and I was attempting to soothe her. Instead, her fingers found the bottom of my t-shirt and slowly lifted it over my head, her eyes watching my reaction the entire time.
"I want to feel your skin too," she said, her voice so low and filled with arousal it seemed foreign.
"I don't know if I'm going to be able to stop," I warned as her hands pressed up along my abs to my lime green bra with the orange polkadots. The feeling was incredible and I closed my eyes as I felt her small hands squeeze the cups of my bra, moving my hips against hers as my nipples hardened in reaction.
"Yes you will," Rachel sighed, leaning up to plant kisses along my neck, "I trust you."
I pushed her hands away from my breasts, resting my cast on the seat beside Rachel's head and supporting my weight on it, while using my good hand to lock one of her wrists against the seat of the car.
"I will never leave you," I whispered the promise against her lips, kissing them softly before adding, "Not ever."
Rachel moaned at the admission, her hips bucking upwards as if the words were enough to send her over the edge.
"Tell me you love me," she cried as my lips had moved down to her neck and I had begun to mark new hickeys on top of the old ones.
"I love you, Rachel," I sighed blissfully, against her neck, loving the way each word felt on my tongue. She let out another moan as her hips rolled against mine again, and I licked a long line up her neck before teasing her bottom lip with a bite.
"I love you too, Brittany," she said, her free hand wrapping around to my back and digging her nails into the soft flesh she found.
I kissed along her jaw, soft, wet kisses that turned into gentle nibbles as I got closer to her earlobe, earning keening noises from the back of her throat. I could tell Rachel was desperately trying to keep her body under control, but there was a big part of her that just wanted to give in, close her eyes and let me take her over, bring her over that line with me and make her a new woman.
She was the same age as me, but as I pulled back and looked down at her, with her eyes closed and her head back as her mouth closed and opened with each new sensation, she looked so young. The mature clothes weren't fooling anyone. Even though she wasn't wearing a sweater with a quilted animal on it, or a pleated skirt made famous by the school girls in Japan, that was who she was. This young, innocent girl who had barely had her first drink nevermind anything else. I could put a joint down in front of her and convince her it was a tobacco cigarette. I felt like I was corrupting her into something she wasn't.
"Why are you looking at me like that," Rachel whispered, nervously, making me realize that I had been staring down at her for awhile.
"You're so innocent," I breathed, brushing my nose against hers, "I don't want to wreck you."
The corners of her mouth twitched into a soft smile, "You can't possibly wreck me. You're making me better. You're completing me."
The way she spoke, so firm, so believeable, my body became frantic as I kissed down her chest, on the skin that was visible, my hands roaming all over her body as my mouth passed over her covered breasts, to the bare skin of her stomach. I felt her stomach rise and fall against my mouth as she gasped for each breath and my hands locked against her writhing hips. I kissed over her subtle abs, stopping to dip my tongue into her naval as she moaned strings of words that meant nothing together.
I licked the line where the hem of her panties sat on her hips, tasting the salty skin that I was craving so much. I was so turned on, but I was determined to comply with the rules Rachel had set out and I discovered a way to get more of the skin I desired, by only bending the rules slightly.
I grabbed on to the backs of her thighs and pressed her knees up to her chest, causing her black skirt to fall around her waist and reveal new skin that I was allowed to touch and taste by her rules. I expected her to push her skirt back down, maybe giggle and tell me that I was cheating, but when I looked back up at her, her eyes were dark and watching me, waiting for my next move.
I sat back on my heels, turning my head to kiss the inside of her knee and bite at the tender skin of her thigh. She let out a startled cry as my teeth bit down a little harder on the inside of her thigh, getting closer towards my goal, but instead of pushing me away, her hands threaded in my long blond hair and almost urged me to keep going. I continued my path up her thigh, stopping every once in awhile to leave a hickey in my wake and then soothe the area with my tongue. Suddenly, when I was just a few inches away, and the smell of her arousal was driving me wild, the taste on her thigh, changed from the almost tasteless skin, to the salty, tangy taste that I knew immediately was Rachel. I was finally getting my first taste of her as I sucked the inside of her thigh and I was already hooked on the addictive taste.
"I can taste you," I groaned, pressing the thigh that I hadn't been licking into the back of the seat and holding it there, holding her legs open as wide as I could. I heard her moan extra loud in response to my comment, but my eyes were drawn to the soaked panties just inches from my nose. I glanced up at her, noting that her eyes were shut and her head was still thrown back, I wondered how much of a taste I could get before she pushed me away.
I went to the crease, were her leg connected with her centre and licked the bare skin there there, pushing my tongue as far under her panties as I could go, while still somewhat sticking to the rules and not removing her clothing. As soon as my tongue swiped across the smooth lip underneath, her fingers tightened in my hair and she quickly sat up, curling her body forward as her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped. She made a sound that I couldn't describe and her body jolted a couple times before she squeezed her eyes shut.
"Did you...," I asked, softly, afraid that I had gone too far and she hadn't been able to stop me in time.
She struggled to catch her breath for a few seconds before finally shaking her head and slumping forward against me, "Too close."
"I'm sorry," I said, pulling her against me as I sat back on the seat, "You taste so good."
She snorted at that comment, but didn't respond, only sat against me, panting in silence.
We had missed the second movie, spending the entire time making out in my backseat, so after we had become decent again, I started the car, navigating it towards her house.
Rachel was eerily silent the entire time, refusing to even look at me or pull her gaze away from the darkness outside her window. Her hand was continuously playing with the chain I had just given her and I was really starting to worry that I had pushed her too hard tonight.
The drive seemed so much longer and all the while all I could think about was how I had pushed Rachel away and that she was going to tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. She would tell me that she thought I respected her more and obviously I didn't because I pushed her so hard.
All of these horrible thoughts just played over and over in my head and every time I looked over at Rachel she was still staring out the window, playing with her neckless, with a look on her face that said she was deeply contemplating something. I just knew that she was think about breaking up with me.
When I finally pulled into her driveway and put the car into park I expected her to bolt from my car. Maybe later I would get a text message saying that things just weren't working between us or she'd call and say she was sorry, but I was pressuring her too much.
But she didn't bolt from the car, or even move at all. She just continued to stare out the window and play with her new necklace. After a few minutes I finally cleared my throat and began to start my apologies, "I'm really sorry, Ra-"
She interrupted me before I could finish with a jumbled outburst that I almost didn't quite understand, "Do you want to come inside?"
My head shot towards her, but she still wasn't looking at me, although her eyes had moved to stare out the front window instead of the passanger. I knew what she said, but I felt like I needed her to repeat it, because maybe I had made it up, "What?"
She was silent for a minute before she finally forced her eyes towards me. They were nervous and shimering in the moonlight, but that determined look that she got when she wanted something was there. She licked her lips slowly before pressing them together and then nodding as she whispered, "I'm ready."