Hey guys! I'm back again :) thank you all sooooo much for the reviews i got. I really loved them and HELLO! to the few new followers! :D

So i won't hold you up now, anymore here's the new chapter :)

''Morning'' Tony said as he found Gibbs in the kitchen, changing Mason on the dining table. ''You know, you could just get the changing table from the attic'' He suggested as he walked towards the coffee maker to make himself some coffee.

Gibbs looked up with a smirk and just shrugged. He watched as Tony did everything with his left hand. But that didn't get him slightly worried. It was the words that Tony had said yesterday to Senior and the way he had acted about the photo of his mother.

Tony turned around to see Gibbs staring. ''What?'' He asked and went to sit across from where Gibbs stood.

''You okay?''

''I'm fine. Told you not the first time. Had a lot worse''

''Kinda the problem DiNozzo'' Gibbs said. ''What you said yesterday, while hitting your father—''

''I know what I said!''

''You still blaming her?'' Gibbs asked.

''I never blamed her for him hitting her or me'' Tony said. ''I blamed her for leaving me there. Of course I do! Who would leave an eight year old kid with someone, you know is going to beat him?'' Gibbs had no answer for that, so Tony continued. ''Some people don't have a choice. My mother had and she chose to give up. To give me up''

Gibbs nodded and they sat in silence for a while as Tony took over Mason and played with the little boy's hands and feet, loving the reaction he got from Mason.

''I almost did the same'' Gibbs spoke up. He had to do something, so he began to make breakfast.

''The same what?'' Tony asked confused.

''Taking my life. Just after Shannon and Kelly died and I was out of the hospital. Didn't think I could live without them''

Tony stared at him, full of surprise. ''What... what made you change your mind?''

''I wanted the bastard dead who killed them, so I got involved in NIS and after I had shot Hernandez... I was sort of pulled into NCIS... It helped me to think I brought closure to the people who lost their family members and Mike helped too... is he own weird way''

Tony chuckled at the last part, but it faded soon. ''I just wish my mom was stronger''

''Her taking her own life doesn't necessarily make her weak, DiNozzo''

''She gave up, Boss'' Tony retorted. ''One of the things she did teach me is to never give up. Everything would be alright someday... How can she tell me that if she doesn't believe in it herself?''

''Maybe she had other reasons to do it. Yeah most reasons are pain and fear or all hope are lost. But there other reasons too. Don't assume things. She leave a note or anything?''

Tony shook his head. ''No... nothing''

''Then don't fixate on one thing''

Tony took a deep breath and nodded. Gibbs was right... as usual. ''About Senior...'' He began.

''What?'' Gibbs asked, turning around as the pancakes he decided on were ready. He took a couple of plates and laid the pancakes on it. He sat one plate in front of Tony then sat down himself and started to eat, looking at Tony who still hadn't continued.

''I called McGee this morning, asked him to look into the whole thing Senior talked about'' Tony said.

''The bank account thing?''

''Yeah. I checked on my account to see if there was something unusual. But there was nothing. As much as I hate him, I don't think Senior would lie about losing money just to annoy me. So I asked McGee to see if he could find anything''

''What do you think about it?''

''I really have no idea. Gotta say though... Senior who gets and had everything he wants and now suddenly desperate for money? Feels good''

''You sure you don't want file charges against him?''

''No...'' Tony frowned. ''Not yet''

''Not yet? What does he have to do for you to change your mind?'' Gibbs asked narrowing his eyes.

''I was asking him the that the whole time when we lived together'' Olivia's voice came and both Gibbs and Tony looked up to see her descend the stairs. As she was down she took Mason from Tony and gave her son a kiss on his cheek. ''Good morning handsome''

''Good morning to you too'' Tony grinned and got punch on his good arm from Olivia. ''Ow! hey!''

''Wasn't talking to you, T.'' She said down next to him. Holding Mason up. ''I was talking to my handsome son'' She smiled at Mason who was looking at her with big eyes.

''Well you confused me when you used the appropriate word to describe me'' Tony excused with a cheeky grin.

Olivia rolled her eyes. ''Oh, get over yourself, DiNozzo'' She chuckled. ''Why aren't you filing charges against Senior?''

The grin faded from his face. ''Why aren't you filing charges against your mom and dad?''

''Okay, point. It's just, my parents don't bother me anymore. I haven't seen them or my brother in sixteen years. Senior is still taunting you and hurting you. Look at you!'' She gestured a hand towards him. ''You look the same as when you were young. The only difference is that you can now hit back and you looked like that every week and now once in a couple of years''

Tony grimaced at the memory.

''She's right, Tony'' Gibbs spoke up, making Tony look at him. ''He's just gonna keep doing anything to be in your way. Especially now he thinks you stole money from him''

''I didn't steal anything!'' Tony exclaimed startling Mason and he began to sob.

''Tony!'' Olivia hissed.

''Sorry sorry sorry!'' Tony pleaded and put his hand on Mason's forehead, rubbing his thumb over his head. Surprisingly Mason stopped sobbing before he could cry in earnest.

''Seems that he really likes you'' Gibbs said.

''It's weird. Not one other kid ever liked me'' Tony blinked, frowning at the thought.

''Kids even so small, pick up when your nervous. And all the other times when we had to deal with it you were, even when it didn't show for the adults around you, but kids know. But with Mason your determination to take care of Olivia and him overpowers your nervousness'' Gibbs explained. Olivia smiled at that and she knew that Gibbs was completely right.

''I just want to help'' Tony said softly.

''I know, Tony'' Olivia said. ''And Mason knows too''

Tony nodded. He looked at her. Over the past week she had gained weight and everyday her smile reached a little further to her eyes, but still no sparkle. He took her hand with his free hand and smiled at her. ''You're great mother''

She grinned at him. ''And you're a great Godfather'' She stated.

Both Tony's as Gibbs eyes went wide. ''I... wait what?!''

''You heard me''

''I don't think I heard that right'' Tony shook his head. ''Did you say Godfather?''

''See? you heard me just fine''

''Liv... I can't... I'm not...'' Tony stammered unable to form a sentence.

''T. Will you stop it?'' Olivia chuckled. ''Look how you are doing! You got everything under control, from changing his diaper to calming him down before he even starts crying. You're a natural and when he gets older he's going to you for advise, because a boy needs a father figure and you know better then anyone to not be able to have that'' She told him. ''Besides if you are so nervous around kids, I don't know how you could tell me you wanted to be a foster parent 'when you grew up'!''

Tony's eyes went wide once again and he flashed a nervous glance to Gibbs who sat stunned on his seat, but said nothing.

Gibbs knew that if he kept quiet he would know a lot more. Olivia did know Tony for a long time, if you didn't count the time gap.

''That was just a into the moment thing. I didn't mean it!''

''Oh yes you did! It was the only time you talked about a future, next to the big basketball career, that is''

''I don't even know how you can remember that night. I was sixteen and you were thirteen'' Tony shook his head.

''Do you remember what your reason was?''

''No, but—''

''You said you wanted to be a foster parent because you would help kids who were in a similar situation as we were, only they got help and you didn't. You thought that your experience would help you to guide them. Wanted to let them see that it could be different than their bad living conditions''

''It was a long time ago. Clearly it wasn't that important for me, because I forgot!''

''No you didn't'' Olivia said. ''The only thing that withheld you for doing so is because you thought you failed me. You thought you couldn't even take care of an unborn child, then how the hell could you help those kids with problems like you and I? That's why I left, Tony! Because you were just as much hurting as I did. And I didn't want you to hurt anymore by having to deal with me while I was the one who hurt you''

Tony looked at her. He didn't even know how they had ended up having this discussion all he knew was that he needed some space. He silently shoved his chair backwards and stood up. Gibbs just looked after him, knowing that Tony was beyond talking to right now.

He watched as Tony went out of the back door and into the back yard.

''Dammit'' Olivia whispered. Gibbs attention went back to her and Mason. ''I don't know why that came out...''

''Tony's insecurities can be frustrating sometimes'' Gibbs said.

''Do you really think he doesn't want Mason as his Godson?'' she asked and Gibbs could hear her own insecurity about having made a mistakes in her voice.

''I think he wants to, but is just scared'' Gibbs said. ''And yes being responsible for Mason is one of the factors, especially if what you said is true'' Olivia nodded confirmedly. ''but being a Godfather means there is a possibility of losing someone you care about and Tony doesn't like to be confronted with that''

''I know, but the option is always there... and I know I shouldn't be thinking about that, but I want to be certain that if something happens to me that Mason has a good home, a great home. I just hadn't expect that I would bring up the whole foster thing''

''It's double... on the one side, I can't imagine Tony wanting kids, if you only know the Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. On the other side it just makes sense. Being who he really is and what you two have been through'' Gibbs said.

Olivia looked down at Mason. ''He was determined about it. He wanted to 'save them' were his literal words, but then... the mis... miscarriage happened and he just kept saying he didn't help enough, that what he did wasn't good enough. And I didn't understand because I thought that I should be the one thinking that, which I did at that point... but I couldn't see him so hurt anymore knowing I was the cause'' Olivia felt a hand on her knee next to Mason and she looked up to seeing that Gibbs had knelled next to her.

''Hey... it was neither of your faults. I don't know how it happened and I won't judge you for it but you were fifteen and your body wasn't ready yet, which is understandable because you shouldn't be pregnant at that age. Even thought too much kids in this country have a kid at that age'' Gibbs told her as he took her free hand and squeezed it.

Olivia smiled softly. ''I don't get why Tony thinks you can be a bastard''

Gibbs laughed at that. ''As his boss and as an agent I can definitely be a bastard and outside of work too, but recent events, pulled be back to who I used to be a little''

''Like the head-slaps?'' She asked.

''Yeah... haven't given them so much'' Gibbs chuckled. ''Tony told you about them?''

''He did. Keeps him focused right?'' Olivia said, looking skeptically.

''Most of times. I don't hit him, it's just sometimes he just loses focus on what he's saying or what he's working on during a case and needs something to pull him back with it'' Gibbs grinned. ''And sometimes he's just being a joking jack ass and I do it for amusement. But I would never purposely hurt him''

''Good'' Olivia said. ''Because won't let somebody hurt him when I can help it... it was because of Mason I couldn't do something, otherwise I would've gladly helped Tony'' She said seriously.

''I'm sure you would'' Gibbs nodded.

''Can I ask something else?'' Olivia asked.

''Sure''

''What do you have in the basement?'' Gibbs grinned at that again and started to tell.

…

Meanwhile Tony walked into the backyard. His first thought was going into the basement, but changed his mind at the last second. He had to walk a little further, and the damn tree at the end of the backyard was farther away that the work bench he used to sit on in the basement.

Why did her words hit him so hard? ''because she freaking right!'' He told himself. He reached the tree and let himself slide down it and sit in the grass. Due of the nice spring morning the orange sun just reached that part of the backyard and warmed it up just right.

Leaning back against the tree, he closed his eyes and let his mind run out loud for himself.

''And now Gibbs knows and he really didn't want him to know. Gibbs knows too much already, he doesn't need to know more than that. Can't give him all of my shit, he has baggage enough from me and himself. Not that that is his fault...''

''He wants to know, Tony''

Tony jumped at the words. He looked around and narrowed his eyes, then shook his head. ''Must be going crazy''

His eyes widened as he heard a chuckle right next to him and then,''You were always a little crazy''

''What..?'' Tony whispered.

''You heard me?''

Tony felt his heart speed up as he nervously looked around. ''Okay, I don't know where you are or what you want, but this isn't funny'' He stated.

''Wow, he heard me. That's a first''

''Why don't you come out?'' Tony asked irritated.

''I am... I'm sitting next to you. Right side''

''Ha ha real funny, woman'' Tony said.

''Tony, I know it's weird. Trust me I've been there''

''This is weird alright'' Tony scolded. ''And how do you know my name?''

''Seriously, don't you recognize my voice?''

''No... I...'' Tony frowned as he thought about it. A thought came into his mind and he almost panicked. That couldn't be right!

''Calm down, young man. Can't have you having a heart attack, won't do any good if you were in the same place as I am''

Tony rubbed a hand over his face.

''What are you thinking?''

''That I'm going crazy because talking to someone I know, but that can't be true, because that person has been for sixteen years'' Tony answered. ''And why the hell am I answering''

''Is it been sixteen years already? Huh, doesn't feel like that long. Would explain why you are a handsome man now, though''

''This can't be happening...'' Tony whispered. He grabbed his head as if he gained a headache.

''Passing out won't help either'' The female voice said sternly and Tony looked up and glared into space next to him. ''Say my name, Tony''

''Why?'' Tony asked.

''Do it''

''No'' Tony told... her?

''Why not?''

''Because you are dead!'' He exclaimed frustrated.

''Trust me, I'm well aware of that''

Tony felt a pang of guilt going through him. ''Shit! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that. It's just I have had a rough couple of weeks and even worse days... and I don't know what I say anymore''

''It's alright, Tony. You can make it up to me''

''How?''

''Say my name''

''Shannon...'' Tony wanted to protest, but he said her name instead. His eyes went wide as he realized that.

''See not so hard, now was it?''

''This can't be real...'' Tony repeated

''Oh it's real''

''Okay... so if this is real'' Tony began. ''And I'm not saying it is. Cause I still think I'm dreaming. Than why didn't you talk to be before?''

''I tried. When I first saw you in the house for the first time in years I tried. Just like I tried talking to Jethro. But I couldn't, it was like I was watching television at first, while the TV was on mute. I could only see you or Jethro from a distance. Then a couple of months ago I suddenly was in the house, but Jethro wasn't and you were... I didn't know where Jethro was. But I could hear you talking, hearing how you felt. And I tried talking back, but you couldn't hear me. Then Jethro was back... and he had a beard! He knows I hate hair on his beautiful face! The bastard! I tried talking to him, to get that thing of his face, but he didn't hear me either. So whenever I come here I just hang around... Yesterday was the first time in those months that Jethro or you this morning could hear me''

Tony let the information sink in. He confused himself, that he hadn't moved the whole time... that he hadn't fled. He shook his head. ''Okay... so are you always here... I mean do you hear everything?''

''No... the last few weeks it's much more, though. I think it has something to do with strong emotions... I don't really know''

''And when I visit your and Kelly's graves?'' Tony had to know.

''We hear you. But it's like having someone on the phone, I can't get away from the house as far as I know, didn't really try doing that. but we hear you. Heard everything you said about Jethro and your team''

''We? So Kelly's here too?''

''We take turns. But we can't be here all the time''

''Then where are you when you aren't here?''

A chuckled. ''Can't tell you that, Tony. It's against the rules'' Tony rubbed his head again. ''how's your head? And your hand?''

''Like they're going to explode'' Tony answered.

''You didn't have to do what you did, you know. If I could and you hadn't had a concussion I would head-slap you into next week!''

''I'm sorry I broke a promise to you'' Tony said. ''But he just... and I was so... He insulted...''

''I know what he said and just like, Jethro's ex-wife... I don't know one. I lost count. The one with the golf club? I wanted to smack her real good! but I can't pick up thinks'' Tony chuckled at that a sad smile crossed his face. ''Ah see? There the smile Kelly loves so much''

''Gibbs misses you and her so much'' Tony told her.

''I know and I think yesterday was the first time he showed his emotions about that. If you don't count the breakdown in the hospital''

''You know what happened to him?''

''We do. I can't even imagine how he must've felt then. It's why he went away right?''

''Yeah'' Tony nodded.

''Tony?''

''Yeah?'' Tony asked.

''I... have to go''

''Wait!'' Tony exclaimed. ''Are you... are you going to talk to Gibbs?''

''I am... when I think it's necessary. Right now you were the one that needed just some light talk. I just have some advise for you''

''What?'' Tony asked.

''Nothing of what happened is your fault. Not your mother's suicide, not your father hitting you, not Olivia's miscarriage, and Kelly and I aren't angry with your for not contacting us. So don't you dare think any of it, Young man! Jethro wants to know, who you are and where you came from, what you are thinking. He wants to know and help you where he can''

Tony nodded, but said nothing.

''I really have to go now''

''Okay''

''Bye Tony''

''Bye'' And then it fell silent. Tony looked around for any sign what so ever but he got the feeling she really was gone.

Damn he had a headache. He couldn't believe this wasn't a dream. He really did talk to Shannon? Why wasn't he more panicked about it. He didn't believe in all that Ghost crap, did he? Well he didn't... anyway. but now he was just confused.

Tony jumped as his cellphone rang. He grabbed to his heart and took a deep breath. He grabbed the cellphone out of his pocket and saw McGee phone number flash on the screen. He hadn't had the time to program those in yet. He opened it.

''Yeah, McGee you got something?'' He asked.

Yeah... who did see that coming? :p

That's it for today... probably tomorrow the next one! :D just love it when i can write so fast. Idea's running through my head!

Gonna poor myself a cup of Gibbs-coffee, with a DiNozzo twist... which means lots of sugar! xD

Tell me what you think in a review! I love getting those you know. ;) Inspire and motivate me!

-X- Leonie