If I owned DGM, Lavi would have fought Skinn Bolic, and Kanda would have gone through the internal mind battle thing.

Got Own?

Bruise

Chapter 12: Questioned

"Allen!"

I gasp, finding myself in Kanda's arms, and I was soaking wet, but nothing was choking me. No tears. Just Kanda holding me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stroking my sopping wet hair gently, and I broke. Tears ran down my cheeks as I sobbed, clutching the bluenette's shirt even though water streamed between my fingers and down my hand, and I choke out, "I'm fine…just…."

"No, moron, you aren't fine. What the heck upset you so much?"

My body began trembling, and I feared my legs would crumple under my weight as I reply, "Your…your eyes."

"My eyes? How did―you know what, tell me later," he muttered before I was lifted into his arms. Kanda carried me back to the training room, and as he did that, I looked up against my better judgment, trying to see his eyes again. They were blocked, but I guess that was a good thing. I don't do well with trauma, but then again, who does?

The samurai left me at my room to change into dry clothes while he went to his for the same reason.

Of course, the first thing I did was search the bathroom for my razor, but I couldn't find it. I looked everywhere, and it still was nowhere to be found. This left only one possible place for it to be.

"Kanda, you jerk," I mutter, sliding to the tiled floor by the bathtub in my fuzzy pajama pants while my bare chest was left out to brace against the cold. I had no will to stand and lie down in my bed. I just wanted to cut! Then I remember….

Smiling, I stand up and dart to my closet, digging around for my suitcase. Once I find it, I grab the Altoids box in the bottom, happy that I had outsmarted Kanda, and I move to the vanity, opening the lid and removing the paper. The tiny razor blade glimmered under the light from the bulbs installed over the mirror, and for a moment I stared at it. The urge to cut was almost unbearably strong, but at the same time, I knew what would happen if I cut.

Kanda was coming back in a few minutes, and even if I gauzed it and wore a long-sleeve shirt, he would know something was up. Not to mention what would happen if he came back before then.

I don't really want to stop cutting. Not at all. But the thought of how angry Kanda would be at me if I were to cut myself right now was enough to make me think twice about it. Biting my lip in frustration, I close the box and walk back to my bed, leaving the tin on the vanity, but I know that I'll only be able to restrain myself for so long. Pulling the blankets over me, I bury my face into my pillow.

Hurry up, Kanda.

My wish is granted, the door opening, and the bluenette asks, "Why do you look so mad?"

I realize that I was shaking pretty hard, and the part of my face that was showing is set into deep lines. Taking a breath, I point a trembling finger toward the bathroom, "Get the box in there."

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

I hear him do what I had said, and when he sits down on the bed, the Altoids tin is in his hand as he asks, "Okay, what do want me to do with it?"

"I don't know," I say, not looking at him. "There's a blade in the bottom."

The ruffling of cloth tells me that he put it in his pocket, and he continues, "Did you hold yourself back?"

Nodding, I mutter, "Yeah. Be happy that I didn't use it, because I really, really wanted to."

My body was no longer trembling, but a shiver went up my spine as I thought about how great the numbness felt when I would drag the blade across my skin, blood slowly welling from the line. Lost in thought, I don't notice when Kanda moves, but I was very much aware of his arms around me, my body stiffening when his skin touches mine. Maybe it was also that he was over me since I was laying on my side, but whatever.

My heartbeat raced as his lips feather-lightly brushed my ear, and he whispered, "I'm proud of you, Allen."

Part of me wanted to push him away, because only Lavi should be in a position like this with me, but the other part, the stronger part, wanted to let Kanda do whatever he desired with me and my body. His breath on my ear is enticing and seductive, causing my body to unconsciously react and heat up in several places, and I wonder what his lips would feel like on mine. I bet they were rough and soft, and his hands were the same way, but I'd never felt them in the way I really wanted to. Quietly, I whisper, "Y-Yu?"

The blankets deserved all my gratitude, because they were hiding the fact that my pants were tightening, and I knew that it was wrong. I'm only supposed to feel this way with my boyfriend, and if I did anything with Kanda, I'd be cheating. No. I'm not a cheater. I will never cheat on someone.

Finally, for my sanity's sake, Kanda pulls away from me, leaning against the wall while I sit up, and he says, "Sorry."

Shaking my head, I say, "No, there's nothing to be sorry for."

"Okay. Are you going to tell me why my eyes made you burst out crying then?" he asks, staring at the door. Bringing my knees to my chest, I reply, "Well, it was…different…?"

"How so? Has that never happened before?"

I shake my head, "No, it hasn't. I've never tried to read someone that tried so desperately to block out their emotions, and I give you credit. You have extraordinary defense skills."

"Is that a compliment?"

"More or less. When I broke it down, your feelings were so strong that I felt trapped, almost mesmerized."

Glancing at me, he asked almost uncertainly, "So what did you figure out about my emotions? Were you able to read me?"

I nod, "Yes, I was. And I'll say this: you should learn that fakes can't fool other fakes. It's like speaking Spanish in Mexico and expecting no one to understand what you're saying."

"What makes you think I'm fake?"

"Really?" I ask. "You know that you are. You act emotionless to get through whatever has got you so conflicted."

"Conflicted, huh?"

"Yes, extremely so. You're upset about something, so you get mad and hide it behind an impassive exterior. You love someone, but someone or something else is keeping you from them, and it makes you feel like you aren't enough."

Staring at me, Kanda asks, "You saw all that in my eyes?"

Nodding, I move closer to him, staring straight into his eyes again, but this time without trying to get through them, "And now I'll ask you: who is it that you love so much?"

He gave me a "you should be put to death for your stupidity" look and says, "I'll tell you who it is if you tell me who's been hurting you."

"Yu!" I exasperatedly exclaim, playfully swatting him on the shoulder. "I just want to know who the girl is!"

Smirking, he says, "You can ask a few questions about her personality that I'll answer."

Brightening, I say, "Okay! Do I know her?"

"Yes, very well actually, but it's not Lenalee."

"Hm…is she pretty?" I continue, lying down with my legs propped against the wall. Nodding, Kanda replies, "Absolutely gorgeous."

"Prettier than you say I am?"

"About the same."

"Wait, then what does she look like?"

"That I can't say, or else you'll know who I'm talking about, Moyashi."

I catch the nickname, but I find that it doesn't bother me that much anymore, and I plea, "Just basic stuff! Please, Yu?"

"Well, she's a pipsqueak even though she's about your age. About knee-high to a grasshopper."

"At least I'm not the only one."

"No, I gave her cute nickname instead."

"What is it?!"

"Nope, not telling. It's Japanese though."

"I don't know Japanese though! Well, I know bean sprout, rabbit, idiot, and a few curse words, but other than that."

"Too bad, not that sad."

"Shut up," I mutter, smacking his leg. "Keep going."

Rolling his eyes, he says, "She's really smart, but she only acts like it half the time."

"That's mean!"

"But it's true. Though, when she acts like that, it doesn't matter if you've had an awful day, because you just have to smile."

"So poetic."

"Shut up."

"Is she an exorcist?"

"I can't tell, because if she is then there are only so many exorcists."

"Yep, she is. You wouldn't fall for a finder as badly as you think of them."

"Okay, no more questions."

"Wait, I still have more!"

"No more pushing then."

Smiling, I say, "Okay, I won't! What kind of music does she like?"

"Hard rock."

"Ooh, really?! What bands?"

"I'm not sure about favorites, but I've heard her listen to Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace."

"I wish you'd tell me who it is, because we would be good friends."

"What did I say about pushing?"

"Sorry! What's her personality like?"

Kanda's silent for a moment, seeming to give the question a bit of thought, and he finally answers, "She doesn't think much of herself. And it doesn't help that there's a jerk that she tells a lot to, but he keeps messing up, and it makes her really upset. No one really tells her how much she means to the world except this guy, but she won't listen."

"Why not?"

"She's convinced herself that she's not worth anything, and it really worries me, but I can't do much about it."

"Well, she's wrong! I bet it's this jerk she's in love with, but he isn't helping anything."

"I think she's in love with him, too, but she has a boyfriend, and even though I don't have proof, because she hasn't told me, I think that he's the one that is making her think so badly about herself."

"Wait, I'm confused now, which one is she dating?"

Kanda falls silent again for a moment, but then he continues, "For the sake of your small brain―"

"I resent that comment!"

"―I'm going to call the girl Ally, the jerk that's trying to help her Karou, and the boyfriend Luke. Can you keep up with that?"

"I think so. Luke's the bad one, right?"

"Right. I think that Karou has loved Ally for a really long time, but he just doesn't really know how to tell her, even though she seems to feel the same way. Several months ago, Luke asked Ally out, but after she accepted, she's been acting different than she used to, and Karou has been trying to help her."

"If he's trying to help, why is he a jerk?"

"Well, you know how I said that he loves her, but doesn't know how to say it?"

I nod.

"Okay, whenever he tries to help, most the time he upsets her, because he doesn't want her to find out about it."

"That's stupid! Ally isn't dumb enough to think that Karou's not in love with her, right?"

"I said she has a good brain, but generally doesn't use it."

"Still. And besides, what's Karou doing to make Ally upset all the time?"

"Karou is even more stupid than Ally at this point, because he tends to say stuff to cheer her up when she's upset, but then says something counterproductive afterwards."

"Like what?"

"I was walking by her room one day, and Karou was leaving her after saying that she was disgusting."

"I agree. He's a freaking jerk! How can anyone do something that cold-hearted?"

"I ask myself the same thing all the time."

"Did he ever apologize?"

"Yes. Luke made Karou go back a few hours later, but Ally was still extremely upset."

"What did Karou do?"

"I don't know everything, Moyashi."

Sighing, I snag my pillow from the head of the bed and place it under my head, "I feel bad for Ally. She shouldn't have to deal with all of that. If I was her, I would dump Luke and start dating Karou, even if he is a jerk."

"Really? Why is that?" Kanda asked, watching at me interestedly. Looking away from his gaze, I say, "Well, if Luke is that mean to her, he obviously doesn't love her. Karou just needs to get sense. I mean, he definitely loves her, but there's no point in trying to love her from afar."

"What would you suggest to Karou for admitting his love for Ally then? I'm curious to see how you would handle it."

Thinking for a moment, I reply, "I can't speak for Karou because I feel like a girl myself. But as far as Ally goes, if I was her, I'd want Karou to do something really sweet and considerate to show he cares, even if he doesn't admit anything. If she's into music, he could sing if he has a good voice, or if she likes nature, he could take her on a walk for a few hours. Since Ally seems to not like herself, he could make a list of reasons why she's unique and why he likes her. Karou needs to grow a pair and do something instead of standing on the sidelines. Apologies for language."

Kanda rolls his eyes, "Apologies for language? Really?"

"Don't judge, just hush. Ooh, I made a funny! Judge and hush sort of rhyme, right?" I giggle. Raising an eyebrow, the bluenette says, "I'm going to regret this, but what's a 'funny'?"

Tilting my head, I try to think of a way to explain it and respond, "Well, I guess it's when you make two words rhyme without meaning to."

Smirking, he says, "So if you came in my room and annoyed me, and I said, 'get out, bean sprout', that would be a funny?"

"You aggravate me, but yes, that's the main idea," I mutter, unhappy with being called a bean sprout. At least when he labeled me as Moyashi not everybody knew what he was talking about.

"Anyways, I think Karou should heed your advice."

"Wait, are you going to tell him?"

"I'll tell him that an anonymous friend of mine was talking about it."

A comfortable silence fell over the room for several minutes before I asked, "Yu?"

"What is it?"

"You just said that I was a friend of yours."

"I know that."

Smiling, I continue, "That makes me happy. Are you ever going to tell me who any of the people are?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You know all of them very well, so if I told you one person, you'd know everyone. All I'll say is that there's only one love triangle going on at the Order, you know about it whether you realize it or not."

Pouting, I say, "Yu! What kind of answer is that?!"

"It's not."

"So mean to me," I murmur, sitting up and placing my pillow on Kanda's lap before getting comfortable. After I had pulled some of the comforter over me, I lay my head on my pillow, the smell of jasmine and lavender mixing with autumn woods, and when I nuzzle my face into his stomach, the samurai asks, "May I assist you, parasite?"

"Yes, the parasite says you can stay there while it sleeps."

"And if I don't want a parasite sleeping on me?"

"You can suck it up and stay still anyways," I mumble, not really caring as he rearranges us, and we end up lying with my back to his chest, strong arms protecting me.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

Karou doesn't fall asleep until much later, too preoccupied with holding Ally in his arms as she snoozes, her head of pure white hair resting on his shoulder.

The samurai knew that Ally was oblivious to the story he had just told about Allen, Kanda, and Lavi, but he still wondered sometimes if she had figured out his feelings for her. Karou couldn't be sure if the whitette felt the same way, but he knew that it would take a lot of time for her to acknowledge them. The story made Karou feel like he was doing something right, and now he knew what Ally would like for him to do, but at the same time, he didn't know if she liked nature. Singing wasn't happening. Karou would kill himself before he sang in front of anyone, even if his voice wasn't half bad.

Sometimes, Karou wondered just how clueless one could be. A part of him knew that he probably could have said that Allen had short, white hair and that his left arm was an anti-akuma weapon, and Ally still wouldn't have understood the connection.

The bluenette couldn't help but feel like he achieved something though tonight. Even though Karou described 'Kanda' as a jerk, Ally still said that 'Allen' should date him instead of 'Lavi', and that means that part of her wanted to date Karou instead of Luke, right? And if not, he would continue to believe it until Ally said otherwise.

Maybe Karou could gain something by telling these stories to the angel girl he was currently holding. It wouldn't hurt to continue to tell Ally about Allen and Kanda's relationship. Something good could come from it.

Pressing his lips to the teen's crown, Karou whispered, "Goodnight, Allen."

Author Note: So? That was the very first time in the history of my ability to put pencil to paper/fingers to keyboard that I have ever written in third-person. Any good? I'm going to continue writing in first-person, but do you like that last bit, because I was thinking of adding those at the end of chapters sometimes? I want to hear from you, so please, Please, PLEASE R/R!