A Perfect Circle
chapter four; simple friends
It was midday when Sasuke arrived by the waterfall. The sky churned with grey and white, and thunder could be heard in the distance. Hinata would not be coming that day. And to think, only half an hour before, it had been so nice out. Sasuke contemplated turning back when he saw the storm clouds roll in, but figured he could visit the spot anyway, as it had been days. He would have gone sooner, but unbeknownst to him, he did not want her to view him as eager.
Rain began to drizzle as Sasuke entered the clearing. The light grumble of thunder, followed by a quick flash of lightening, reminded him that Hinata wouldn't be there. He was wrong; she was just leaving.
He made his presence known by stepping on a twig. Hinata twirled to face him, the rain heavier now, clinging her dark fringe to her forehead.
"I didn't think you'd be here," he informed.
"I didn't think you were coming," she retorted politely. The two stood, feeling tense, before Hinata was the first to step forward. She walked up to him and reached into her bag, taking out a small box with the Uchiha fan carved into it. She held it out to him, and he stared down at it for a moment before accepting.
"It's been a long time since I've seen my clan's flag on something I didn't have custom made myself."
"W-Well... I made it," she peeped. "I figured you were more likely to keep it if it represented your clan, rather than mine."
"You aren't wrong." Sasuke slipped the box into the pocket of his oversized poncho. It was making him too warm, but offered his clothing shelter from the rain. Hinata found herself wondering where Sasuke hid himself when the weather wasn't so kind. Did he simply hide under a tree? Surely that wouldn't offer enough protection. Perhaps, a cave, or maybe, he didn't hide out at all. He was, after all, standing right before her, showing little care for the rain, whereas she hugged her arms, disliking the way it slid down her bare skin.
"You should probably get back to the village," Sasuke said, and Hinata was hesitant to nod. Part of her didn't want to go back. Naturally, she desired shelter, but on the other hand, she didn't look forward to being alone. Not with her thoughts.
"Would you like to come with me?" she asked, her lips making up the decision for her. She wanted to retract, to reverse the words, because they were too friendly and something felt weird between the two.
"Where? To your house?" He seemed taken back. Hinata instantly felt innapropriate. Of course inviting him over wasn't proper; they were hardly acquaintances. It was awkward, tasteless, outlandish-
"I can't go back to the village now, it will raise too many questions," he cut in her thoughts. "I should already be gone by now... If anyone sees me, well, it would be troublesome. That being said, I have shelter, if you'd like to come with me."
Unlike Hinata, Sasuke thought little of the proposal. He didn't mind Hinata's company. She, for whatever reason, was blushing like a maniac. He also thought little of that as he waited too long for her response.
"Well?" he urged, and she immediately nodded.
"Y-Yeah. Sure."
Sasuke said nothing as he directed her through the forest. They accelerated to a sprint, for about ten minutes, until they reached a small clearing in the woods. A thin river, that must have connected to the waterfall, ran before a hill, which had a worn out pair of cellar doors pressed into it. Long grass seeped over the wooden doors, making it appear almost natural. Hinata had never travelled there before. In fact, she couldn't recall ever seeing anything like it. Who would build a random cellar off a small hill in the middle of the forest? Certainly not Sasuke, because it was visibly old and tattered. Her claims were backed up when he creaked open the door, allowing her entrance. He lead her down a small flight of stairs into a pit of utter darkness that smelled of rotting wood and dirt. Sasuke lit a candle, illuminating the environment. There were no windows, and the room, in total, was the size of maybe two of her bathrooms. Carved into the wall, was a box cut out made to be a small bed with a ratty mattress on it. There was an end table, and on the floor, a small pile of Sasuke's belongings. She noticed all of the boxes she had given him were stacked neatly beside a few books. A brown leather bag with a long shoulder strap rested against the wall.
Hinata looked around in wonder. The wood, though slightly rotted, was sturdy enough to hold the earth above it. Suddenly, Hinata felt a small burst of excitement, like she had just begun a strange mission in a new land. But she hadn't. This was nothing more than a rugged hole in the ground that Sasuke had claimed as his own.
"I know, it's not great," he said, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. "I don't expect you to stay long. Until the rain lets up. Then you should go."
It was a suggestion that Hinata found herself keen on. Yes, she should go. She shouldn't be there. Once the initial charm of the strange cellar ran out, and she brought her attention to the man who'd brought her there, she felt trapped. Alone with him, of all people, in such a small space, was something she never imagined.
Sasuke still thought little of it.
Hinata sat beside him and scooted to the back of the alcove to rest her back against the wall. Sasuke remained at the edge of the bed.
"This place... It's interesting," she said with genuine marvel. Sasuke nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. I cleaned it up when I found it. It was mossy and dirty, but it works well enough for shelter, so I decided to keep it. Even if it is shitty."
"I don't think it's-" Hinata stopped herself. "Bad."
A half smirk beckoned Sasuke's lips, but he refused it. Now, he was starting to think something of the situation. What was he going to do with this girl? Their idle conversations had always felt so open and free to him, yet now he was cornered with her. If neither of them had anything to say, then how would they occupy themselves? He had nothing remotely entertaining to offer a woman. He pondered why the hell he even cared.
"So," Sasuke began after a few paltry moments of silence, but quickly realized he had no words. He didn't have much to talk with her about other than Naruto or Kakashi, maybe Sakura, but those topics had been exhausted to him. That was when Sasuke was the one to feel awkward.
Something had definitely changed, he just couldn't put his finger on what.
"The books you have..." Hinata peeped. "What have you been reading? I like to read, myself."
"Hm?" Sasuke cranked his head around the corner and spotted his pile of books. "Oh, those. Well, they're historical. Books about our ancestors."
Our.
Hinata recalled her clan's relation to the Uchiha, how it had been speculated that the Sharingan was born from the Byakugan. Sasuke knew more than she did; he had more experience, not just with reading, but personally, too. Sasuke, along with Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura, had been the ones to defeat the Kaguya, thus ending the war. Hinata never saw Kaguya, for she had been trapped in an infinite tsukuyomi, dreaming of a life with Naruto that had yet to happen. At times, she cursed herself for wishing she'd never woken up from that dream.
During the battle, Sasuke also had unlocked the fabled Rinnegan. What would happen if the three were combined? Would a child be born, one similar to Kaguya?
Unknowingly, the books had brought the same topic to both of their minds. They shook it from their heads. What a foolish thought, Sasuke said to himself, while Hinata thought, That would require me to... With him...
"Maybe you should go." Sasuke said abruptly, and Hinata's head snapped to him. She was slightly offended, but would be lying if she said she wanted to stay. As cordially as ever, she slipped off the makeshift bed and allowed him to lead her to the exit. The rain had let up, and the clouds were now parting, giving life to an ocean of blue sky and lively birds. All the more reason for her to leave.
"I suppose I'll see you later," Hinata muttered, turning to face him once outside. He nodded, which only slightly reassured her. "Goodbye, Sasuke-san," she said, and as she turned to leave, he touched her arm, halting her.
"Come back tomorrow. To the waterfall. Not here."
"O-Okay," she stuttered, before jumping into the forest, making a point to sprint to help dull her anxiety.
Sasuke stood idly for a moment, staring at the swaying, dew covered leaves she had just breezed past. Birds chirped, alive and happy from the passing of the rain, picking at the ground for worms, reminding him of the box Hinata gave him. He took it out of his pocket, and before he opened it, ran his finger along the perfect carving of his clan's symbol. When he opened the box, he was surprised by her, yet again. She had made a rice ball out to look like the Uchiha fan, using tomato for the red. He brought his eyes back to the area she had disappeared, and was unsure why he now felt somber.
Sasuke tried to remember all he knew about Hinata. There wasn't much. He knew of her clan, of her cousin, and of her position. Hinata, at a young age, was deemed too weak for her role as heiress, so it was passed to her younger sister, Hanabi. For a moment, Sasuke imagined himself in her shoes. Hinata probably hated the fact that she was overthrown by someone so much younger, but still, she was lucky. Her clan was still alive and thriving. A few years ago, Sasuke would have resented her for that, if he had thought enough about her to do so. But he didn't. He never thought about her at all, yet there she was, plaguing his mind.
I shouldn't have asked her to leave. She won't come tomorrow.
He was certain of it, but he would go to the waterfall anyway and wait all day, if he had to.
Hinata stared in awe at a faint rainbow in the sky as she entered the village. They seemed to have been following her that summer. The run had helped her recover from the tense situation with the Uchiha, but she still felt embarrassed. When she spotted a blonde, for once, walking alone, she thought she'd found her remedy.
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata waved, smiling as best as she could. He was quick to flash her a toothy grin as he leisurely strolled up to her.
"Oi, Hinata-chan. How's it going?" he asked.
"It's going well," she stammered, blush tingeing her cheeks, thinking that Naruto was too cute for his own good. Almost immediately, the situation with Sasuke left her mind. "How about yourself?"
"Great! I'm off for the day, was just wandering around looking for something to do, when you popped up! Wanna hangout?"
Sasuke was definitely off her mind, now. Hinata nodded too quickly, and blushed upon her own enthusiasm. Naruto was kind as always and simply gestured for her to join him. Together, the two walked through the streets of Konoha. It was the best thing that could have happened to Hinata that day. Finally, she was alone with Naruto, even if they were in public.
She had almost forgotten about Sasuke until Naruto mentioned him in conversation. Hinata felt a pang of guilt upon his name, firstly, for not telling Naruto about their meetings, and secondly, for intentionally trying to forget him. As Naruto continued to talk, Hinata found herself spacing out on the idea that maybe, Sasuke was trying to do the same. For some reason, that hurt her feelings. I'm such a hypocrite, she cursed.
"Hey, Hinata-chan, are you listening?" Naruto's voice intercepted, and the girl snapped her head to him.
"Y-Yes! Of course," she lied. She had only partially heard what he was saying, something about a mission he'd been on with Team Seven years ago. That's why Sasuke was brought up. That's why he was on her mind again.
"Sorry, ya just seem a bit out of it," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.
"S-Sorry. I'm paying attention."
"Cool. Well, I was just talking about Sasuke, anyway, ya know, same old stuff."
"Yes... Sasuke-san..." Hinata paused. "Are you concerned for him?"
"Always," the blonde admitted through a laugh, "bastard is always up to something. Getting himself in trouble. For all I know, he could be off in some other world entirely, fighting a new battle. He never tells me where he gets off to."
Hinata wanted to tell Naruto the truth, to ease his worries. She wanted to tell him that Sasuke was just outside of town, residing in a dusty cellar, but she kept her lips tight.
"Well, I'm sure Sasuke-san is doing okay," Hinata chimed, and Naruto nodded.
"Heh, yeah, I'm sure he's just fine..." he trailed off, before perking up and waving ahead. Hinata looked where he was, and instantly, her shoulders slumped. Sakura.
Always Sakura.
"Hey guys!" The friendly kunoichi chimed. Hinata felt bad for mentally cursing at the girl, but she wanted to be alone with Naruto for just a bit longer. As always, her wish did not come true. Naruto invited Sakura along with them and Hinata stuck around until she thought of a proper out.
Sasuke didn't know what to make of his own actions.
It was early in the morning, too early for Hinata to be at the waterfall, yet he was there, anyway. He had no idea when she would show up. The sun was just barely grazing the sky, creating a vivid painting of purple and orange above his head. He had watched the sun rise.
A nightmare had startled him awake. He was used to that, but this time, he couldn't get back to sleep. Somehow, the thought of the Hyuga girl was the only thing keeping his mind away from visions of blood and massacre. The people he'd killed haunted him, and sometimes, when he was so unfortunate, his lucid dreams would put him in the place of his brother. His dreams were so real, at times, he woke up convinced that his parents, his entire clan, had been slain by his hand, not Itachi's.
He stared at the water, watching the shy transform through its reflection. A flock of black birds reminded him of his brother. Itachi, who was long gone... He wished he could talk to him, but reanimation was long out of the equation. Sasuke was left to imagine what talking to Itachi was like, but really, he had no idea what his brother would say to him. He never knew what was really going on in his head.
I shouldn't be here, he thought. I haven't even come close to atoning for my sins. I should be out there, not sitting here, waiting for a girl who may never come.
His mind bounced from Itachi, to blood, to Hinata, and again, in a whirling cycle. Across the river, he spotted a few wild flowers that reminded him of her again. She liked flowers. She liked Naruto. That was mostly all he knew of her, personally. Without thinking, Sasuke hopped across the water and plucked the flowers from the ground. He thought of them as weeds, but knew she wouldn't.
He returned to his original position with the flowers and waited. He laid back and stared at the sky, watching the colours morph to an ordinary blue. He wanted to hold on to the comfort and warmth of orange for just a bit longer, but he couldn't. Soon enough, the sky was plain, with nary a cloud for him to focus on.
Hours passed. Hinata isn't coming, he thought. Not that it matters...
As if on cue, the rustling of leaves signalled her arrival. He was unsurprised to see her looking at him sheepishly. She avoided eye contact and said nothing as she approached him, taking a seat next to him. For several moments, the two didn't speak, both lost in their thoughts. Sasuke picked up the flowers from beside him and handed them to her. She looked at him inquisitively, before taking them.
"Pretty," she mused. "Thank you..."
Sasuke merely grunted. "I didn't think you would come."
"I thought about it," she admitted. "But I wanted to talk to you."
"About what?"
Hinata swallowed a lump. "Nothing in particular." When Sasuke didn't respond, they both looked away. Hinata felt tingles of nervousness through her chest as she observed the purple flowers, attempting to identify them. They were myrtles, a rare flower that sometimes grew around Konoha. She smiled warmly, thinking that they would look beautiful pressed. She wondered how Sasuke knew she liked flowers. An inference, maybe, because she was the type of girl who would like flowers. On that thought, she took one of them and used its stem to tie it in her hair. When she failed, she flinched at Sasuke's hand touching hers.
"Give me the flower," he said, and she reluctantly dropped it in his hand. He tied it in her hair, and Hinata blushed at their proximity. His fingers accidentally brushed her forehead a few times. They felt calloused and rough, evidence of his hardships. He smelled faintly of firewood. When the flower was in position, he dropped his hands and observed his work.
"There," he said. Hinata lightly touched it with her hand. It was firmly in place.
"Thank you," she cheeped. He looked away, giving her a brief moment to observe his face. He was paler than usual, and the bags under his eyes were defined. "You look tired," she noted, and he nodded, keeping his eyes away from hers.
"Didn't sleep well."
"Why?" He looked at her, and she blushed. "I-If you don't mind me asking, that is..."
Sasuke allowed himself to sigh. "Bad dreams, I guess," he responded vaguely.
"I'm sorry."
"Hn."
Hinata saw the way his eyes became more hollow, and she asked herself what could be plaguing him. Many things, she imagined. Sasuke was troubled, he always had been, and she could only imagine what he was going through.
"I lost someone," she said suddenly. His eyes flickered. "Neji-niisan... He died protecting me, in the war."
"So I was told," he spoke with apathy. "Why are you telling me this?"
Hinata was taken back. "W-Well... I'm just mentioning it, because I can relate."
Sasuke had to bite his tongue. What did she know of loss? Nothing, in comparison. The only thing stopping him from saying something completely snide, as he would to literally anyone else, was the innocent look in her sad eyes. In the nicest way he could muster, he said, "Well, I doubt you could truly relate to someone whose brother massacred his entire clan, on behalf of his own village."
Hinata began fiddling with her fingers. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"
"It's fine," he cut her off. They sat in silence, until Sasuke continued. "At times, I dream that I was in his place. That it was me who slaughtered all those people, and my parents."
She brought her knees to her chest. "But it wasn't."
"I know. But that doesn't stop the dreams from happening."
Sasuke's eyes drifted off, as a cool breeze blew in from behind them. Hinata reached out and touched his hand, unsure if he would pull away or not. "I'm sorry." He met her eyes, reading their utter sincerity, and didn't feel pitied. Hinata really was too nice for her own good. He grabbed her hand and interlocked it with his. She was hesitant, at first, but complied, allowing her fingers to grip him.
Heat rose from Hinata's chest to her face. Sasuke, though conflicted, kept his cool demeanour. He'd never held hands with anyone before. Not like that, and thinking on it, Hinata never had, either. Aside from family, the last hand she'd held belonged to Naruto, but it wasn't intimate. It was during the war. Everyone locked hands, and Naruto transferred some of his chakra to the entire army. This was different, and she didn't know what to make of it, but she liked the way his calloused hand gripped hers, just a little too tight.
They sat in stillness for quite some time. It was awkward, for both of them, yet comfortable, so neither of them dared to budge, to ruin the moment. Sasuke realized why he was still around, why he had gotten so comfortable in that shabby hole in the ground.
Their hands grew sweaty. Sasuke was the first to let go, believing that Hinata was too scared to do so. He was right. When he pulled away from her, she retreated her hand to the safety of her lap, unsure what to say. It felt like something she was not supposed to do, and she choked up, admitting to herself that she'd liked the feeling. In order to divert any more awkward contact, Hinata did something familiar and handed Sasuke a box. He accepted it, before meeting her reluctant stare.
"You don't always have to bring me food," he said. "I don't depend on you as a food source."
"Sorry..." she murmured. "I can stop."
"I don't want you to stop, but I don't expect this of you." He tucked the box in his pocket. "I should go." He stood up and offered Hinata a hand. She allowed him to pull her to her feet, and found herself standing too close to his chest. She took a step back and politely bowed at him.
"Goodbye, Sasuke-san," she said, and at present, san didn't feel like an adequate thing to call him. She should refer to him as kun, she thought, because they had just held hands, and friends hold hands, do they not? Her stomach twisted on the idea. Sasuke nodded at her before he took off into the forest, leaving her behind. She stood for a moment, staring after him until he was gone.
Mere friends didn't hold hands, but it simply couldn't be anything more than that. Hinata could never like Sasuke as more than a friend, and vice versa; if he wasn't capable of liking a girl like Sakura, how could he like her? She was boring, plain and meager. Sakura was spunky, fun and joyous. No, Sasuke was just lonely, in need of comfort for a moment, that was why he'd held her hand. She thought that if anyone else had been in her place, he would have held their hand, too. She ignored the feeling of doubt in the back of her mind as she walked back to the village at a slow pace.
A/N: Heyo! Thanks for all the awesome reviews on the last chapter, guys! I really appreciate every single review, fave and follow. :)
As always, it would be fantastical if you could review this chapter as well. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't reread and edit this chapter as many times as I normally do, so I apologize if there are any significant flaws. I'll likely be editing it more later, I just wanted to get the update out there since it's been a while.
I know some of you want me to update my other story, The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit. It's been a while since my last update, but I am working on it! Until then, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
Please review :3