4
"I don't have time for this." Dave mumbled to himself.
"You don't know your name?" Zach questioned.
"I don't remember my name!" I cried.
"Well, where are you from?"
"I don't know." I replied, my breath beginning to quicken.
"What were you doing before you got here?"
"I- I was watching an episode of this show."
"Come on!" Dave yelled in frustration.
"Dave, hang on," Zach insisted. He turned back to me. "What…" He sighed. "What… what episode?"
"I don't know the name. Some guy who didn't want you to burn his wife's remains kidnapped you because he wanted her ghost to stay. And Dave was ready to kick his ass to get you back."
"How do you know about that?" Dave questioned, literally pushing Zach aside.
"Dave!" Zach yelled.
"How does she know about that!"
"I don't know," Zach turned to me. "What's the name of this show?"
"I don't know," I replied beyond panicking. My favorite TV show/books of all time, and I didn't even remember the damn title. How perfect.
"So you don't know anything about yourself?"
"No," I replied, tears burning my eyes. I blinked them away, suddenly noticing my thick black-framed glasses I wore in the daytime that somehow followed me into Dreamland.
"But you seem to know everything about us," Dave pointed out, with suspicion in his voice.
"Dave," Zach tried hinting the fact that I was in no state to be reprimanded. Then all of a sudden I started sobbing.
Oh God. I was crying in front of my two favorite characters played by my two favorite actors…
"Oh my God!" I cried out in frustration, tearing off my glasses.. "I can't even remember your real names!"
"Real names? What real names?"
"The names of the actors who play you guys!"
What were their stupid names?
"Look," Zach said rubbing my shoulder to comfort me. "Maybe-" He looked at Dave for a moment and back at me. "Maybe you can come with us."
"Uhh…" Dave reacted.
I looked up at Zach, my spirits somewhat lifted, and replaced my glasses on my face.
"I can?"
"Yea. Me and Dave will take care of you."
'We will?" Dave asked furrowing his eyebrows.
"We'll make sure you'll get back to where ever you're from."
"Why?" I asked.
"Yea, why?" Dave chimed wondering the same thing.
"Because everything you said about us is true. I mean I don't know about the uh… TV dream stuff, but everything else you told us makes sense." Zach explained.
"Like what?" I wanted to know.
"Well, Dave's car for instance." Zach pointed out.
"What? What about my car?" Dave panicked, as if just the mention of the car would cause some sort of damage to it.
"You knew that just by mentioning the thing, you could get Dave on board. All of that stuff you said happened in a different version—that sounds like us."
"So what?" Dave said.
"Well think about it," Zach diverted his attention to his brother. "She wouldn't be able to figure that kind of stuff out from other people. No one can talk about how much you love your stupid car, it's just something we all can see." Zach turned back to me. "And I think somehow you already know us. I think somehow you can see."
"So just because she was able to tell us some obvious things about ourselves, our lives are a TV show with an invisible camera crew?" Dave said crossing his arms.
"I'm not saying this is a TV show, Dave." Zach argued. "I'm saying that this girl knows us. She knows our habits and behaviors; she knows how we would react to most things, and what weapons we would use, or what we care about. She knows how much we look out for each other. She knows us. I don't know how, but she does."
Zach gave me a kindhearted smile.
"That's adorable," Dave said trying very hard to make his sarcasm obvious. "But I didn't sign up for taking some kid around the country." He said bluntly.
"Well, where else is this 'kid' supposed to go-"
"Kid?" I yelled, smoke blowing from my ears. "I am not some… kid, buddy."
"Look all I meant was-"
"All you meant was what?" I cried adjusting my glasses. "You think I can't take care of myself? Newsflash, Savages: I've been taking care of myself my whole life, and I don't need the either of you to start lending a helping hand, okay?"
I slid out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I couldn't believe it! I just saved these butt-holes, and now I was being called a kid? A helpless little vermin, who needed someone to keep an eye on her so she wouldn't go off making some stupid mistake! I was treated like that through out my childhood, and long after it had ended. I wasn't going to let that very thing happen in my dreams.
"You know, even though this is just a dream," I said facing them, while they stayed seated in the car. "I think I've gained a lot of new perspective on what giant douche bags you two are!"
"Hey!" Dave yelled from the driver's seat.
"Me?" Zach asked, wondering how he earned the same title.
"Yes, you." I folded my arms. "I mean, other than when you asked me to join you just now, you two have been discussing how I'm supposed to be dealt with like I'm some sort of nuisance you have been so inconveniently forced to take care of, ever since I got here!"
"Look, we're just trying to understand everything about you," Zach tried explaining.
"No, you're trying to understand what to do with me!" I cried.
There would've been a very long dramatic pause that followed, adding effect to my already powerful argument. That is if I hadn't started screaming in mind jolting pain.
Literally, like a bullet in the back, I felt the most unexpected scorching of my skin on my shoulder. Immediately I sank to my knees as the brothers rushed out of the car and by my side.
"What is it?" Dave cried. "What happened to you?"
"My shoulder!" I screamed, pointing to my left shoulder blade.
I shrieked louder as the burn seared increasingly. It was like someone was setting a hot poker on my skin. I picked up the faint smell of burning flesh, as irrepressible tears sprang from my eyes.
"Make it stop!" I begged.
"Take off the jacket and roll her over," Dave directed. "Quick!"
"No!" I used the miniscule strength I had left to stop Zach's hand from unzipping the jacket. "Don't take it off."
Zach immediately turned to his brother for any further instruction, but jumped at the sound of my screams.
"Just do it!" Dave yelled. "This is no time to be pulling any modesty stunts, Ella!"
"No!" I shrieked. "Please," I begged, the tears growing more immense. "Please don't take it off."
Zach stopped and looked for some sort of answer from Dave.
"What do I do?" Zach questioned.
"Take off the damn jacket or I will, Zach." Dave growled.
"If you take off my jacket I will never forgive you," I told Zach who stopped what he was doing and looked at Dave again.
This really wasn't helping poor Zach at all, considering I instantly started screaming again.
"I'll risk it," Dave said unzipping the jacket, pulling it off, and rolling me over.
Maybe I was being a little melodramatic, but my values of dignity I felt were being so forcibly ripped from my grasp, and discarded in the most heartless way. Obviously not by the brothers (it wasn't their fault some invisible hand decided to melt off my skin), but by this dumb dream that made me so vulnerable in front of them.
"Oh, Jesus Christ," Dave muttered upon looking at whatever ungodly thing was happening to me. He lifted me up briefly to rest my torso on his lap, the glasses I usually wore when reading dropped next us, and I was too much in pain to care.
"Zachie, get some frozen vegetables or something." He said to his brother, who without hesitation darted towards the grocery store.
"You'll be okay, Ella" Dave reassured me, although he was having trouble backing up his claims as the pain continued on, causing me to just scream out louder. I could practically see the smoke coming from my shoulder.
Dave tried hushing me, and I realized I must have been freaking him out with all my screaming, and I really wanted to just shut up, clench my teeth, and at most let out a whimper of pain. I wasn't strong enough, though. Hell, I didn't even know how I wouldn't just pass out already.
Through all my screaming, I did miraculously hear something coming from behind where Dave and I were sitting.
"Dave," I gasped trying to divert his attention. Luckily he had caught on more quickly, and got up and spun around, coming face to face with that last zombie they somehow forgot to dispose of. My screams were most likely responsible for attracting it.
"You," Dave hissed.
He pulled his knife out of its sheath, and began lunging at the creature with it. Unfortunately, this creature had the ability to kick ass, knocking Dave's knife –his only weapon –to the ground, just a few feet away from me. I wanted to reach out and grab the damn thing, but my body was numb to its very core, and I was unable to keep myself from screaming, let alone slither my way to a knife, and somehow get it to Dave. I had to try though, didn't I? I mean I wasn't just going to lie there screaming, while Dave was left without a weapon trying to battle it out with a freaking zombie.
So I did, in fact, shut up, clench my teeth, and whilst whimpering in pain, I stretched my right arm out for the knife. It was just out of reach. Of course it was. I tried stretching my arm beyond all reasonable limits, but it just wasn't happening. I couldn't even touch it. Obviously things had to be this difficult for me. It wasn't like my skin was currently being melted off by some invisible force, mutilating my shoulder to look like something that could even freak the Savage brothers out. It wasn't like that at all.
All the while, I could hear Dave calling out my name, trying to tell me to just hang on a sec, he'll be right there, after this bastard get's a taste of Savage Pie. I wasn't going to just give up. No way did Dave have a fighting chance with a hungry zombie like this one.
I squeezed my eyes shut, using my toes to push myself closer to the blade on the ground. I was able to move hardly a few inches towards it, and could just touch it with my middle finger. I tried using the same trick again, but I couldn't. Not without using my left arm too.
Using my right arm, I lifted up my shoulder, cried out in unearthly pain, and inched myself closer to the glistening knife. Just as I wrapped all five fingers of mine around the dagger, a pile of frozen peas, a first aid kit, some painkillers, and alcohol were scattered next to me, as Zach's fingers, scooped the weapon out of mine.
At this point, while Dave and Zach fought off the monster, I had thought that I finally did pass out, and was thankful that I would be getting out of this stupid dream. No more pain, or screaming. No more blood, or that disgusting smell of burnt flesh. I could just wake up and go back to watching more reruns of the show… maybe not.
But when my eyes blinked open, I saw the bludgeoned skull of a zombie lying next to me, and blood dripping from a spot on Zach's hand between his thumb and forefinger.
Oh no. I thought. I knew right away that he had been bitten. It was a very familiar image from this episode. I guess even in this dream it was an inevitable fate. Guess it didn't really make a difference whether or not I involved myself into this little storyline. I guess I didn't save the day after all.