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''Hi Daddy!'' Kelly voice filled the basement.

Tony closed his eyes, as he heard the sound of a young girls voice. It hadn't changed... well as far as he could remember.

''Kelly?'' He heard Gibbs voice, say and he could hear the shock in the older mans voice. Deciding that Gibbs hadn't fainted he stayed at his place, sitting against the wall next to the door. He drew his knees up, and laid his head on his knees, his arms wrapped around his legs as he listened, silently.

…

''Daddy daddy!'' Kelly squealed in joy. ''You can hear me!''

Gibbs felt as if a brick settled in his stomach and he sat down on a saw horse. ''Kelly...''

''You okay, daddy?'' Kelly asked concerned. And looked worried at her father, who had turned as scary shade of white.

Taking a deep breath Gibbs, closed his eyes. ''Where are you?'' He asked ignoring his question.

''Where I always am'' Kelly laughed.

Gibbs savored the sound of her laughing and looked at the middle of the boat. Between the beams.

Kelly giggled. ''You're looking at me!''

Gibbs again savored the sound. Any sound. Every sound. ''How are you?'' He asked. What was he supposed to ask?

''I'm good, daddy. I can fly! ...Well sort of'' She giggled again.

''That's good, honey'' Gibbs tried to keep it together.

''Daddy?'' Kelly asked softly. ''Why are you sad?''

''I'm not...'' Gibbs trailed off, he was never able to lie at his girls. ''Because I can't hold you like I want. I can't kiss you or hug you. Can't put you to bed''

''But you do'' Kelly told him.

''Really? How?'' Gibbs asked.

''Every time you put little Mason to bed. I listen to my song and I hug you when you hug him'' Kelly explained. ''Then I be an angel and watch over him, until you go to bed''

''You're his angel, are you?''

''Uhu. You told me I will always be your little angel. And I am'' She smiled.

''I didn't mean it'' Gibbs voice trembled.

Shannon's voice broke through. ''She knows you didn't meant it to be it like that''

''I know I just...'' Gibbs trailed off. ''I just wish I could see you grow up. Kill dozens of your boyfriends until I could give you away with the right man and then you have kids of your own. My grand kids''

''But, daddy. You have that. You have Tony and Olivia. They are not dating, but you have Mason. Olivia wants himto call you grandpa. You have a family, who loves you'' Kelly told him. ''And we are here too. Watching over you and talking to you when you need it. We are special you know''

''Yes. Yes you are''

''Daddy, please don't cry'' Kelly said sadly. ''Hero's don't cry''

''Everybody cries, Honey'' Gibbs said to her. ''Even hero's''

Kelly nodded. She slid from between the beams and move towards him. She lifted herself up and 'crawled onto her father's lap.

Gibbs wasn't sure. But he felt as if a sack was placed on his lap. He just had to ask. ''What are you doing?''

''I want to hug you'' Kelly bit her lip. ''Can I hug you?''

''Have I ever been able to say no to you, Kells?'' Gibbs asked her.

''Never'' Kelly stated and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Gibbs sat on the sawhorse. He didn't know what to do. He felt as if he was being hugged. The tingling feeling pressing against his upper body and over his neck. But he couldn't hug back. ''I love you honey''

''Love you too, Daddy'' Kelly replied to that.

''Jethro...'' Shannon wanted to interrupt, but she was cut off.

''Tony?'' Olivia's voice came from upstairs. ''What's wrong? Tony!'' Then a door that slammed shut.

A moment later he heard footsteps again, then a hesitant. ''Gibbs?'' He looked up to see a worried Olivia standing on top of the stairs. ''You know whats wrong with Tony?''

''What happened?'' Gibbs wanted to know

''I don't know. I woke up... I didn't even notice I had fallen asleep'' Olivia trailed off. ''Tony came marching into the living room, he didn't say anything, but he looked upset. Grabbed his jacket and was out of the door''

''He didn't say anything?'' Gibbs asked.

But Olivia shook her head. ''No. I haven't seen that look on his face, since...'' She trailed off.

Gibbs gave her a look. ''Since?'' He pressed.

''Since his mother died'' Olivia finished.

Gibbs looked at her.

''I was trying to tell you, Jethro'' Shannon said. She had known all along that Tony had been listening. ''He was at the door of the basement. He heard everything you and Kelly said''

''Dad? Is Tony angry with us?'' Kelly asked.

Gibbs closed his eyes at their voices. He couldn't say anything. Only when Olivia looked away for a moment, did he shake his head quickly to answer them. ''Do you know where he went?'' He asked, not only to Olivia.

Again Olivia shook her head. ''What are we going to do?''

''You are staying here'' Gibbs stated. A cry filled the house, noting that Mason was awake. ''You handle your son. I will handle mine'' he told her. He saw the moment of surprise going through her expression. He had never said it in that way. So confident.

All Olivia could do was nod at that, then jogged back upstairs. Gibbs ran a hand over his face.

''Do you know where he is?'' He asked, hoping Shannon would answer.

Shannon frowned. ''I'm not sure, Jethro''

''You said you just pop up where ever we are in the house. Does it work outside the house too?''

''I can't... Kelly can'' Shannon said. ''But as far as we know only to the grave yard'

''Can you try?'' Gibbs asked, not sure if Kelly was still on his lap. ''Can you do that for me, Honey?''

''Sure daddy. Everything for you and Tony'' She giggled. and closed her eyes and concentrated on Tony. A moment later she faded slowly.

Gibbs waited for a moment, not sure when she left or if she left at all. ''She gone?'' Gibbs asked.

''I think so, Jethro'' Shannon asnwered.

''Did he talk to you?''

a moment of silence. then,

''He said he wished he would have contacted us. That maybe it would make a difference''

Gibbs sighed. ''Why does he have to be so complicated?''

Shannon chuckled sadly. ''Looks like his father, huh?''

She was lucky that he didn't know where to glare and it made her laugh. Gibbs sighed again. ''My glares don't work on you now''

''Face it, Jeth. They never worked on me anyway''

…

Tony had to ran. So he ran. He didn't know where to or how long, but suddenly he stopped. The adrenalin rushing from his body. Totally out of breath he took in his surroundings and he couldn't help but chuckle through the silent tears that were plastered on his face.

Due of the clear summer weather is it was still light outside, but dusk. Tony looked at his watch. *8:37 pm*. He was the only one though, and he really didn't care. Trying to catch his breath he went over to one of the benches of the park, that looked out over the big pond. The sound of the fountain in the middle of it working. Calming him.

His head and his hand, that was neatly wrapped up again, were throbbing. Okay so this wasn't one of his smartest idea's and he really didn't know what overwhelmed him so much. no. that wasn't true. He did know and he wasn't ready to admit his childish, selfish behavior and thoughts. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He had messed up.

He had heard Olivia call out for him, but he couldn't respond. He had to get out of the house. Away from the voices. Those sweet words, loving, caring.

He shut his eyes closed again. Trying to get rid of the memories.

The park? How did she end up here? A shiver went down her spine as he remembered what had happened the last time she had been here, but that's not why she was here right now.

Kelly looked around her and it didn't take long before she found her the brown haired fox, sitting on one of the benches. She 'bounced' to him. ''Tony?''

Tony tensed at her voice. Keeping his eyes shut tightly, he tried not to respond.

''Tony, can you hear me?'' Kelly asked.

Tony ignored her. He didn't want to talk to her. He had messed Gibbs' reunion now too? Can he mess it up even more?

''Come on, Tony. Daddy's worried!'' Kelly pleaded.

Tony wanted her to go away. ''please, please, please. Go away'' He thought.

''Tony?'' Kelly's voices trembled. ''Please?'' She touched his shoulder and felt him tense again, but otherwise she didn't get a reaction. she sighed deeply and looked at him with tears threatening. Slowly her vision of Tony disappeared and she went back to the basement.

For a couple of minutes Tony was silent. Then he couldn't hold back anymore and let the tears fall from his eyes for the second time that day.

…

Gibbs sat in the basement. It was silent, but he thought Shannon was still there. He heard Olivia moving around in the kitchen upstairs, taking care of Mason.

'Daddy?'' Kelly came back in the basement.

Gibbs shot up, at the sad sound of her voice.. ''Kelly? What's wrong?''

She sniffled. ''He ignored me. I know he knew I was there. He tensed when I spoke and he tensed when I tried to touch him... he didn't say anything and tried to be small''

''Oh... Jethro'' Shannon breathed softly. She went to her daughter and wrapped her hands around Kelly.

Gibbs mind was debating to be angry at Tony, for upsetting his daughter and being worried about the younger man. But he just slumped back as the worry won. ''So you found him?''

Kelly nodded, not caring that her father couldn't see it. ''Uhu. He's at our park... the park, where...'' She trailed off.

Gibbs frowned, not knowing why Kelly was so upset.

''Where Kelly and I saw the murder, Jethro'' Shannon finished for her. She knew Gibbs knew which park that was. And she knew Gibbs knew, Tony didn't know that fact.

Gibbs made a soundless 'Oh' and nodded thoughtfully. ''You think he went anywhere else?'' He asked looking outside. It was starting to get darker.

''No'' Kelly shook her head. ''He didn't look like he was going anywhere else anytime soon. I felt he was exhausted''

''You look after Olivia and Mason?'' Gibbs asked.

''Of course, Jethro. We look after our family'' Shannon smiled.

''Thanks'' Gibbs said as he made his way upstairs. He looked down into the basement, knowing that somewhere his girls were sitting or standing or lying for all he knew, then went back into the kitchen.

Olivia looked up from Mason as she heard the door opening, from the basement. ''Gibbs!''

''How's he?'' Gibbs asked, nodding towards Mason.

''Needed changing'' Olivia replied. ''You know where Tony is?''

''Think so'' Gibbs said. ''You be okay for a while?''

''Yeah. and I have your number'' Olivia gestured towards the phone. ''Tried Tony's too. But he isn't picking up. What's wrong, Gibbs?''

''Think Tony finally had his break down'' Gibbs thought. ''Nothing for you to worry about, Liv'' He said instead, kissing her on the cheek. then left out of the same door Tony did almost 45 minutes ago now, while Olivia looked after him.

''How come that I don't believe that'' Olivia asked looking down at Mason. ''Sometimes I don't understand either of them''

Shannon smiled at her. ''Me either'' She said. She smiled again as she saw Mason staring at her and she waved at the little human. She put her finger against her lips. ''Sssh''

''What'ya staring at, Handsome?'' Olivia asked, getting his attention again. She turned around, but no one was there. ''Come on time for you to go to bed again'' She said as she stood up and walked back towards the kitchen to go upstairs.

…

Tony hated himself. For his behavior, for his thoughts, for his tears. He hated himself. How could he be so selfish? How could he react like a little kid, that didn't get enough attention? He leaned against the handrail of the bench, as he continued staring over the pond.

Gibbs slowly walked towards the park. He shivered as he remembered that this was the place that settled his girls fate. He shoved those facts aside for now.

It was dark now, but the paths were lightened by the big lampposts in the style of the benches and trash cans. He walked around, but knew where to find Tony. If Tony was upset he had to calm down and he would seek for calming sounds. With nothing or no one else in the park, it wasn't hard to figure out, that the source to calm Tony down was the pond.

As he walked towards it, he took a deep breath, seeing Tony sitting on a bench that was lightened by a lamppost. He silently sat down next to the younger man, but didn't get an reaction. He didn't glance or tense up more then he already was.

In truth, Tony knew that Gibbs was on his way and it didn't surprise him that 20 minutes after he had heard Kelly's voice, Gibbs was sitting next to him.

Together they sat there, watching over the pond in silence. Gibbs glanced over the younger man, observing him. He saw the red rimmed eyes and the slightly red color on his cheeks, noting the younger man had shet some tears.

For another half a hour, until Gibbs saw Tony's shoulders and neck relax a little, from the corner of his eye. ''Why did you ran, Tony?'' He asked quietly.

Silence.

''I know you were in the kitchen, by the door'' Gibbs continued.

Again silence.

Gibbs sighed. ''Tony—''

''Do you know what it feels like?'' Tony asked, cutting Gibbs off. His eyes were narrowed angrily as he kept staring at the pond. ''I was 8 when my mother died. After that, I never got one sweet word from adults again'' His voice had a faraway sound, angry, hurt. ''Do you know what it feels like for a little boy, to come to school, seeing other parents kiss their child goodbye and tell them, 'Have an nice day. I love you'. That all the parents of your classmates come to the school play, and afterwards telling them they did a good job? When I was at boarding school, I was the only one that stayed during the vacation, who didn't get a single visitor? And when I was home... the only affection I got was in his study'' Tony spat out the last sentence.

Gibbs closed his eyes at the memory of a few weeks ago.

..Flashback..

''You really don't want to know what happened in there'' Tony was the first to talk.

''I have to see it Tony'' Gibbs reasoned.

''No'' Tony shook his head. ''Please, no. I know that my mom, video taped this as evidence. But this is enough. And I know you and a father can't deal with this. Please. Study session's were the worst. Don't do this to yourself, Gibbs. Please''

''Study sessions were the worst?'' Gibbs asked.

Tony grimaced at his own words. But it was true, It didn't matter he didn't like it. ''Let's just say that my mom had a very good reason to act that way'' He gestured to the the laptop. ''There were belts and sticks. And I uhm...'' He pause as he didn't know it was a good idea to say it.

''What?'' Gibbs pressed.

''I didn't come out of there conscious much, okay?'' Tony blurted out.

..End Flashback..

''My mom was afraid to tell me she loved me. Especially at home'' Tony Contiued. ''After she did. Senior would call her on it. Tell her that she shouldn't lie to me. That she shouldn't bring my hopes up that I was loved, because I wasn't. Because I was a worthless little brat that was nothing but trouble''

God if Gibbs could get his hands on Senior. He would do more that punch him once in the face. He would beat the grab out of that man. He took a deep breath to remain calm. Not let the anger get to him. ''That why you ran? Because you heard me say it to my daughter?'' He asked softly,

Tony shrugged. ''It's not just not fair'' He stated. ''How can one father let a child and his mother suffer all those years, and another father lose the most important things in his life?'' He said, trying to keep the waver in his voice not to come out.

Gibbs didn't have a answer for that. ''I don't know, Tony''

''I'm sorry'' Tony tightened his arms around his legs.

''For what?'' Gibbs asked frowning.

''This was supposed to be about you and Kelly. Not about my stupid actions, that I couldn't handle your saying 'I love you' to your daughter'' Tony stated.

''She came looking for you'' Gibbs said. He looked at the recognition in Tony's eyes. ''But you knew that''

''I messed that up too, didn't I?'' Tony asked. ''I ignored her. I just ignored her!''

''Tony'' Gibbs said gently. ''She will get over it. As far as I know. She can't be mad at you. She had a damned crush on you! Only you can get an eight year old, having a crush on you''

Gibbs saw the corners of Tony's lips twitch. ''What is it that you want?'' He asked.

''I don't want anything!'' Tony snapped.

''Yes you do! I know why sometimes you act like a child. And running away when you're hurt is what kids do. You maybe a grown up, but the child is still in you, because you didn't get to be a child when you were supposed to'' Gibbs stated.

''You think I act like a child all the time?'' Tony asked, turning his gaze towards Gibbs for the first time.

''No!'' Gibbs snapped. ''I know how well you can be mature, I have seen it too much lately. I just mean that every child needs affection and attention and you missed out on that. And I know that the way you behave sometimes is to get that attention. I knew that all along. I just didn't know why''

''And now I react like a immature brat that doesn't get what he wants'' Tony said angrily, loosening the arms around his legs and attempted to stand up.

''Then what do you want?!'' Gibbs growled frustrated, grabbing Tony by his shoulders to keep him from standing up.

Tony stiffened. What did he want? Why was he really so angry. ''I want...'' He swallowed, but didn't finished.

Gibbs caught on, finally realizing. ''I thought we already discussed this. I am a Friend, family, father'' He stayed.

''You're Kelly's dad Gibbs. My father is in prison. My father is an con man. An abuser of his wife and kid'' Tony pretested.

''Tony'' Gibbs said firmly, willing Tony to believe what he was going to say. ''If I was an investigator, when you were still a kid... If I was one of the cops that came by your house after your mother died. Senior wouldn't been able to buy me over, to drop the investigation. I would have seen it. I wouldn't have denied that something wasn't right. I would have gotten you out'' Gibbs said. ''And I wouldn't have let strangers take you either. I would have taken you. You would have been my son and I would love you, from that moment on. You understand that?'' He asked. Tony looked at him with shock. ''Tony?! Do. You. Understand. That?''

All Tony could do was nod.

''You are my son'' Gibbs stated. ''And if you dare leaving me anytime soon, I will kill you myself''

''Uhm... Gibbs?'' Tony asked hesitantly.

''What?''

''I am moving out in about a year'' He reminded.

''I meant dying, Tony'' Gibbs rolled his eyes.

''How can you kill me if I'm—'' Tony stopped. ''Right. You can''

Gibbs smirked and reached out a hand. Tony flinched thinking he would get a head-slap, but was surprised when Gibbs reached out only to pull the younger man towards him. Having his arm around Tony shoulders.

Tony leaned awkwardly against Gibbs, but when he gathered that Gibbs didn't want to move anytime soon he relaxed. He wanted to ask, but it sounded like he was a child and it took him a moment before he had the courage to bring out the words. ''Do you love me, like a son?''

Gibbs inhaled air through his nose and let it out slowly. ''Yeah, I do''

Tony's lips twitched again, trying not to let the words effect him too much. ''Love you too, dad''

''Do you mind if I call you that more?'' Tony asked. ''I won't if you—''

''You weren't allowed to call Senior that, were you?'' Gibbs asked.

Tony slowly shook his head. ''Only 'Sir' or an occasional 'Father' were allowed''

Gibbs nodded. ''At work I am your co-leader''

''Understood'' Tony agreed.

''Don't be afraid to say it at home, Tony'' Gibbs said. ''I don't mind''

Tony knew that on the job they would be co-leaders and not father and son, but to hear Gibbs agree with it, made him smile.

''Now, let's go back'' Gibbs spoke up after a couple of minutes. He tapped Tony head lightly. ''Because you scared the hell out of three women in the house''

Tony grimaced at that and pulled back. ''Sorry about that''

Gibbs only grunted, stood up and began to walk ''You coming?''

Tony was right on his heels. ''On your six, dad!'' He called out.

Gibbs smirked but didn't look around. Together they walked their way back home

Well then? Wasn't that sweet? I know it you maybe wanted a longer time with Kelly, but... Tony break down... it was waiting right? I maybe a little OOC but than again is a AU story...

Tell me what you think? i love hearing what you think, what you want to see and stuff. and i will see if it still can in this story and otherwise in the new one. :)

Just a couple of more episodes! 2... maybe 3 :)

Love ya! Update soon!

-x- Leonie