A/N: Hey guys, sorry my chapter's late. When I started this I wanted to update every week but right now I need to focus on my grades. I am going to try to keep updating every other week. We'll see, anyway hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't anything glee or the song, just Jess.
Chapter 4 -First Day
We fell silent as we entered the parking lot. We must have left earlier than last time, because there was almost no one in the parking lot.
"I need to finish making up the audition sign-up sheets for Glee." He explained when I shot him a questioning glance.
"Where do I get my schedule?" I asked as we walked towards the doors.
"Oh, the guidance counselor, Emma has it. Or Ms. Pillsbury for you I guess. You met her for a few minutes last time, remember?" Oh right, the redhead. She seemed nice enough.
"Ok, I'll go see if she's here yet and then go to your room." He nodded and we split up. The only reason I remembered where her office was, was because I thought the fact that it had windows instead of a wall was really cool.
As I walked up I was surprised to see that she was in fact already here. I knocked on the door as I approached and she gestured for me to come in.
"Hi, umm Uncle Will said you would have my schedule." I said as I approached her desk.
"Yes, take a seat and I will find it for you." I sat there silently looking around her room as she searched through her papers. There were a lot of pamphlets with some funny titles. I stopped reading the titles when Ms. Pillsbury cleared her throat.
"So, this is your schedule." She said as she slid the paper across to me. "You're going to have Spanish first with your uncle, then history, study hall, English 9, lunch, geometry, biology and finally orchestra 9th period." Cool, I would get to end the day with orchestra.
"But," uh-oh, buts aren't good, "twice a week you will be coming to me instead of going to study hall. We can make it more times if necessary, but that will be the minimum for at least first quarter."
I groaned as I remembered what Uncle Will had told me, about making me have counseling sessions. I really didn't want to sit around and talk about my feelings. "I know it doesn't sound fun, but it's for the best. I know you're going through a tough time and Will is too, I just want to help make this transition easier for you."
I nodded silently, just wishing she would hurry up and let me go. "Ok, you can leave, but I need you to report here 3rd period." I nodded again before hurriedly walking out of her office. Students were starting to arrive, and I avoided looking at them as I looked for my new assigned locker.
"1142?" A familiar peppy voice asked.
"Yeah," I said as I looked up, "Rachel?" I knew the voice sounded familiar.
She smiled, "I was wondering who would get this locker. One of the jocks had it, but I guess my 'unpopularity' is contagious and 'insanely annoying' so he had it switched.
I replied as I put in the combination, "Well, I'm here to stay so…." I trailed off as I got the locker open and stuck the new binders Uncle Will had gotten me on the top shelf. I wouldn't need more than one since it was my first day.
"Hey," I called to Rachel before she walked away. "I'm helping my Uncle put up sign-up sheets for Glee Club if you want to check later today."
"Thanks, I'll look for it." She smiled before striding away.
I slowly shut my locker and leaned against it. Today was going to be a long day.
I trudged out of Spanish and headed in the direction Uncle Will had pointed me in to get to my History class. It actually hadn't been too bad, although extra time at the end of class to talk doesn't really benefit when you have no one to talk to.
Since I had no friends to go talk to and didn't need to get anything from my locker, I was one of the first people in the class. I introduced myself to the teacher and sat in the desk she pointed to. I sat quietly as other students finally began to pour into the classroom. The bell rang and the teacher began her lesson.
"Welcome back guys. You might have noticed, but we have a new student in class today. Her name is Jessica Smith." I waved as she introduced me. "Jessica? Can you tell us a little about yourself?"
Oh wonderful. I hated public speaking. She motioned for me to stand up and I slowly did. "Um, hi. I'm Jessica, which you already know. You can call me Jess. Uh, I don't know, I like to sing?" I trailed off, not knowing what else to say.
"What about your family Jessica?" The teacher prompted.
"Oh, you might know my Uncle, Mr. Shue. He's the Spanish teacher."
"What about your parents, why did you guys move up here? Was it a job transfer?" The teacher continued to question me.
"I- uh." I could feel myself starting to cry at the thought of my parents. "I moved because-" I couldn't get myself to continue.
"Are you crying?" A boy asked.
I looked around the room and everyone was giving me strange looks. I couldn't take it anymore and I ran for the door. The teacher called after me but I didn't turn, I just kept running. I didn't know where I was when I ducked into one of the back staircases and slid to the ground, tears sliding down my face. I could still remember my first day of high school.
I yawned as I looked at the clock that told me it was 6:00. It had taken me so long to fall asleep last night, I was so nervous for my first day of high school. I slowly slid on the outfit I had picked out last night. I was going to try and look nice but then I worried that it would seem like too much, so I gave up and went for my standard t-shirt and jeans. It was one of my favorite shirts, saying 'Hakuna Matata' and it made me happy so I thought, why not?
I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. "Hey beautiful," my dad said as I walked in.
"Hi." I replied as I hugged him good morning.
"I have to leave to go to work soon but I wanted to stay and wish my little girl good luck for her first day of school." He laughed as I stuck my tongue out at him. "You'll do great, I promise. You're amazing." He kissed my forehead and said goodbye before walking out to his car. I poured myself some cereal and sat eating it as I tried to imagine what high school would be like. It couldn't be too different, could it?
As I psyched myself out before I even got to school, my mom joined me in the kitchen.
"You excited?" She asked as she sat down beside me.
"No," I whined "Do I have to go?"
She gave me a knowing look before responding. "You and I both know the answer to that question. You're so strong Jess, you'll do fine. Besides, Lily will be there right?" She reminded me.
"Yeah," I replied. I hugged her, "Thanks, I'm ready to go now."
"Okay kiddo, let me just grab my keys."
We headed out to the car and I wasn't nervous anymore. I smiled when my mom turned on the radio. We loved to turn it up and sing whenever we drove anywhere.
We had been rocking out for at least 20 minutes (it took half an hour to get to school) when a slower song came on and my mom started softly singing to me.
(Never alone: Jesse Bonanno)
Never alone
When your hope has been broken
And the fear is unspoken but true
You're never alone
Like a dream in a child
Or a childish dream in you
I'll do anything that I can do
To show you my love and comfort you
When you can't seem to find your way home
And when life gets too hard
To face on your own
I will stand as your light
Through your darkest unknown
I will walk with you
So you're never alone
You're never alone
Like a tear in the ocean
Or a star on a clear winter night
You're never alone
When the courage you needed
Has been all but defeated in you
I'll do anything that I can do
To show you I'll love and comfort you
When you can't seem to find your way home
And when life gets too hard
To face on your own
I will stand as your light
Through your darkest unknown
I will walk with you
So you're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
Never alone
When you can't seem to find your way home
And when life gets too hard
To face on your own
I will stand as your light
Through your darkest unknown
I will walk with you
I will walk with you
I will walk with you
So you're never alone
As she finished, we pulled into the drop-off lane of my new school. "Thanks mom," I whispered as I hugged her goodbye and opened the car door.
"I love you Jess. You'll be fine." And with a wave she was off, leaving me ready to face the world.
I had been so scared that day too, but Mom and Dad had gotten me through it and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. But now all it did was remind me of how much I've lost. I wish they were still here, I needed them, and I wished I could tell them that one more time.
As I sat there sobbing, I hadn't noticed the pack of football jocks heading my way, slushies in hand. Wiping my face I looked up at them as they stopped. I tried to look tough but I knew it was obvious that I had been crying. My eyes always got red and puffy, even if I only cried for a short time.
"What do we have here?" One guy asked.
"Easy prey." Another laughed.
"Isn't that usually supposed to be a rhetorical question?" I sniffled.
At least half of them had no clue what I said and the other half just got mad at me for going against what they said. They readied their slushies and I shielded my face as I realized that they were going to throw them at me, but the hit never came. I slowly opened one eye then the other and what I saw surprised me. The mohawk jock I had seen that very first day throwing a kid in the dumpster was standing in front of the 6 other guys.
"Stop," he commanded, still standing over me.
"Why Puck? Too much of a wimp to slushy a girl?" They mocked.
"No." He snapped. "But we don't slushy crying girls."
"Since when has that stopped you?"
He visibly hesitated and I wondered what he would do next. "You can't slushy girls I have dibs on Karofsky." He boldly stated and I gaped at him as the other guys wolf whistled. What?
Karofsky scowled before turning, "Let's go guys, she's not worth it."
Once they all left, mohawk jock turned to me. I discreetly slid a few more inches away from him, but it didn't make a difference because he just plopped himself down onto the floor next to me. "Why'd you say you had dibs on me?" I demanded.
He raised his hands with a 'don't attack me' look and replied, "It was the first thing that came to my mind that they would actually believe. I just didn't want you to get slushied. A little advice by the way, I wouldn't recommend crying anywhere in this school. They see it as weakness. Doesn't help anything."
"Thanks, for saving me I mean. But, why me?" He didn't seem like the kind to stop random girls from being slushied, unless he wanted something from them. Plus he didn't know me and from what the other guys said it sounded like he usually didn't stop people from getting hit with the frozen drinks.
He shrugged. "I don't know, you just seem like a nice girl. But, don't tell anyone, I don't want to lose my rep." I laughed as I nodded.
"What's your name?" I asked. "I've been calling you mohawk jock in my head but…"
He chuckled. "I'm Noah Puckerman, but you can call me Puck."
"I'm Jessica Smith, but you can call me Jess."
"Okay Jess. I have to go, but it was nice to meet you." He waved and was gone. I got up and was surprised to find that I didn't feel like crying anymore.
I headed to a bathroom and cleaned up my face and got back to my history class right as the bell rang. I managed to sneak in and grab my stuff without the teacher seeing me and headed straight to Ms. Pillsbury's office.
"Hi, Jess." Ms. Pillsbury greeted me as soon as I walked through the door. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah" I replied hesitantly. Something about her tone was off.
"Because Ms. Johansen called and you apparently ran out of the room and never came back. Care to explain?"
"No?" I answered tentatively, but the look she gave me told me that wasn't the right answer. "Okay, I just needed to get out of there. She had me tell the class about myself and I would've been fine but she asked me about my parents and I didn't know what to say so I panicked, and then I started crying, so I just left." I hurriedly explained.
Ms. Pillsbury's face softened as she listened to what I had to say. "If you need a few more days before you start school again, I'm sure it would be allowed. You've been through a lot recently."
I shook my head. Putting it off wouldn't make it any easier, I just had to face it head on. "No, I need to do this now, or I never will. I know I told my Uncle that I didn't want everyone to know that my parents- that my parents… died, but I think it would be easier if my teachers knew so that I wouldn't have to deal with any questions like today."
"Okay, whatever you want. I'll go talk to Ms. Johansen right now since she has a free period so that she knows why you missed her class. After that I can talk to your other teachers or send an email."
"I don't care, as long as I don't have to say anything." I replied quickly.
"Okay, I'll go take care of it for you." She told me. "You can hang out in here and do whatever until your next class, just don't leave the room unless it's an emergency." And with that she was off. I think she was glad there was something she could do to help me, and this would hopefully make the rest of my classes easier.
As I was listening to my music I was surprised to get a text message. I opened it and saw that it was from Lily: Hey Jess. I hope you're settling in okay. Just wanted to remind you that I'm here and that I love ya. Okay, I know this isn't the best news, but I sent you an email. They put out an article about what happened to your parents and I thought you might want to read it. They caught the drunk driver who did it. You don't have to read it or anything, just thought I'd let you know 3
I rubbed the sides of my head as I processed the new information. They caught the man who murdered my parents. That was good. Was it supposed to make me feel happy? I just felt drained. There was one thing I knew for certain though, that I was not reading that article any time soon. I was still getting used to thinking about my parents and remembering something we did without bawling my eyes out, without reading an article entirely about their deaths.
I sighed, I kinda wished Lily hadn't told me anything. I'd rather just put it out of my mind and forget for a while. The bell rang, jolting me back to the present. Okay, I could do this, just like… 6 more classes. I groaned, I wasn't even halfway through the day yet.
I fought the urge to jump for joy when I heard the final bell ring. The school day was over, I was finally free. I survived.
I was also happy because I didn't have any homework (though they assured me I would have a ton tomorrow) since I had just gotten here. Luckily, it looked like my old school started the semester earlier because most of my classes were at the same unit as my old classes had been when I left, with the exception of my English class which I was actually kind of ahead in because I've already read the book they're focusing on this chapter.
I dropped my stuff off in Uncle Will's room before going to check the flyers he had put up. I really hoped people actually signed up for this glee club thing because it means the world to him. This was the first thing to make him genuinely excited since my parents (and his sister) had died. The first two I checked had no signatures, though I was happy to see Uncle Will had found a name for the group, New Directions. I liked it.
As I approached the last flyer on the main school bulletin board I saw that Rachel was signing her name. I continued walking towards her when I saw Puck and the jocks standing off to the side. I stopped and waved at Puck, and I knew he saw me but he didn't wave back or even smile. It was like I wasn't even there. The smile immediately slid off my face and I just stood there watching the events play out. Puck held a slushy, which was an immediate uh-oh, plus the boys from earlier were all watching him intensely. He must have to make up for defending me earlier and slushy someone else.
"Wait!" I called as I realized who his target was. Puck didn't even acknowledge that I had said anything, and walked up to Rachel, slushied her, and kept walking like nothing had happened. The other jocks high-fived before following Puck and cheering. I ran up to Rachel, who stood there covered in red ice.
"Oh my god, Rachel." I stated, not knowing what else to say.
"It's okay, Jess. Honestly, I'm used to it. That's what happens when people are jealous of my amazing talent." She walked briskly to the girl's bathroom and I trailed behind her, wanting to help somehow. Before I could follow through the doorway she turned to face me. "Look, I know you just want to help, but I'd rather be alone right now." Well if there was any feeling I knew, it was wanting to be alone.
"Okay, see you later?" She smiled and I returned it before turning and heading back to Uncle Will's room.
"How was your first day at McKinley?" My Uncle asked when I returned.
I smirked, "Wasn't the best but I'll survive." Yup, I'll survive.