Carol held Maggie's new born daughter, 3 weeks old. She sniffed and drank in her new baby smell. Carol loved that new baby smell. Carol was opening up the blanket and looking at the tiny toes, tiny fingers. Phoebe was sound asleep she didn't realize she was causing such a stir within the Dixon house hold. The first girl since they all lost little Sophia, Phoebe had some of the Dixon looks but definitely favored her mother. Carol stroked her finger across her cheek, she didn't feel sad holding the little girl or any regret, she dealt with those rushes of overwhelming feelings towards babies when they handed her Ollie. She could truly appreciate the little baby for who she was.

Daryl observed from the other side of the room. He'd talked a big game but the pink bundle coming into the house made him feel it in his heart a little. It hurt it really was hurting him. He hadn't dealt with his feelings like Carol. He just put them away in a locked box way at the back. He didn't know how to deal with theses feeling and for the first time in a long time he wished he kept booze in the house. Watching Carol unwrapped the blanket to show Ollie the tiny baby, he gave it a poke and looked at it nearly did him in.

'Her name is Phoebe,' Carol told him, mildly aware he might ask if it was Sophia.

'Phoebe, hi Phoebe, does she want to come play in my room?' Ollie asked Carol. He held his hands out to take the baby, Carol guided him into the seat so he could take a turn to sit and hold the tiny baby. Carol showed him how to hold her so he wouldn't hurt her at all. She couldn't help but smile at his excited face as he held a baby for the first time.

'No, she's too little when she's bigger she might,' Ollie lost interest and moved away after a bit of a look. She caught Daryl's eye, she flashed him a look for him to come sit beside her to look at the baby. He shook his head he ducked back down the hall to see what Ollie was doing, he saw he was happy playing with Harley and Maggie was in the room with them. He come back to the lounge, leaned against the wall just inside the door, Carol indicated the seat beside her again, he shook his head and she nodded, he edged his his way towards her slowly before finally sitting in the seat beside her looking at the baby.

'You want to hold her?' she whispered quietly, he shook his head, he did reach out and touch her hand though.

Merle was helping their toddler with some dinner at the table. He was taking sneaky peeks at his brother. He saw them holding the little girl. He didn't want to intrude on this big moment of Daryl's a little break through. Carol leaned into Daryl a little or Daryl leaned into Carol he couldn't be sure but they were both connected whispering to each other about the baby. Carol made him hold her, giving him no choice she put the baby in his arms, he held her instinctively.

'I miss her every day,' Carol told him.

'I... I know,'

'I'ma sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you... No excuses but... I never dealt with that sort of emotions before or never been ... I wouldn't have cheated on ya if ... I was out of my mind I don't even know ... I didn't even remember I did it,'

'I know... I know that now,' Carol leaned over and kissed the tiny baby's head. Daryl turned her in his arms and brought her up close to his face to really look at her. He sniffed her, put her over his shoulders. Carol felt the couch begin to shake as his walls broke down and he was crying silent tears. His body betrayed him as he went through a whole grieving process of crying. She put her arm around him, eventually his tears steamed. He handed the baby back so he could wipe his face, he looked like he was about to run from her. She put her hand on his arm to keep him there.

'Can we try be a proper family for Ollie?' Daryl whispered his voice was catchy, She could tell he'd been thinking about it for days, the way he looked at Ollie and her.

'I don't know... maybe... I can't think of that right now,' Carol glanced at him, she saw the regret in his eyes. She also saw love in his eyes and she didn't know what to do. How hard she'd tired to forget he'd done it. Would she always be worried that he would cheat on her again. She wasn't making any decisions tonight she knew that for sure. Tonight she was just going to enjoy catching up with her family again. 'I'd like to ... get to know you again, have that as an option on the table... that would be nice,'

'You for real?'

'Yes, I don't want Ollie to be a only child, so I'd like to try for another baby,' Carol had made the decision for another baby the moment he had her hands on Phoebe, she'd always wanted a large family. She had listened to Maggie, she could make her own decisions for her, for Ollie. She didn't need to worry about what anyone else thought about it. She didn't want an even larger gap between Ollie and a sibling. She knew she was making decisions based on decision's she wanted. She didn't know if Daryl wanted more children or not. They both had wanted a larger family 4 or more but now it was just Ollie. 'I'd like to start trying for a baby but... I'm not ready to go into a full on marriage with you again, or ... I don't know Daryl if I'm ready to go back to the way it was, but ...'

Daryl looked at her wondering if she was for real. She wanted to start trying for another baby and she didn't want to get tied up with him so fast. Did she want him to leave sperm on the kitchen bench or something? He wasn't sure. He knew they both needed to relax, put Ollie to bed and talk. His mind was going haywire, did she want to date him and not live with him but have his kids? He had too many questions about everything.

'You want to start tonight? Are you for real?'

'well maybe not tonight, though I might be ... you know, I've been thinking about it for years about having more, I really want it, I just not sure if ... I want to go back to the way we were, I don't know if we can yet,'

Much later that night after they put Ollie to bed, Merle and Maggie along with their family were gone they were sitting on the couch one at each end facing each other looking at each other. Studying each other, Carol took a sip of her drink, Daryl had run out for a couple of bottles of wine that she suggested they needed to loosen up a little. They were both really stressed and she thought it might help loosen their tongues a little. She hadn't really drunk more than half a glass of wine since she had Ollie and Daryl had been staying clear of the stuff since Carol left. He'd had the odd beer when he was playing pool with the guys at the bar.

'I know I keep saying it but ... I never would have hurt you for the world,'

'Daryl you need to stop, we need to put that over there for now,' Carol told him, 'right now we need to talk about our wants and dreams or whatever,'

'I want Ollie,'

'Just Ollie?'

'If that's all I'm allowed I want to be a good Dad,' he looked around shuffling his feet a little, he looked at her out the corner of his eye, 'I want you,'

'I want you to be Ollies Dad, you were never a bad Dad Daryl, you did a really bad thing, but not to Sophia, what happened to Soph wasn't your fault what happened after and how you dealt with the grief was yours,'

'I don't know I feel like if you can't forgive me we can never move on... I'm also... I... don't know if I can forgive... myself,' tears brimmed his eyes, he wiped them and took a sip of his wine. He stood up and paced around the room a few laps before sitting back down again. 'I don't know if I can ... you know... ever forgive myself, what the fuck was I thinking. Why did I do that, I can see flashes of it since this morning but... why? Why would i even go with that...'

'Ok I think we going way off topic, I think we need help with that part, see someone, but the other part, being a family?'

'I never stopped loving you,'

Carol sighed, he was saying everything she was thinking, she'd never stopped loving him, she'd tried. She took another sip. Looking at him. 'Maggie says we can do whatever we want, we are adults so... what I want is ... I want a family, I want more kids, I don't want to go out looking for someone to be a father to my kids when I have a pretty good one in front of me that I like. I want that, there's a but though,'

'What?'

'I don't know if ... I can just move back in with you again. I want you to move out, I want to do this slowly, deal with everything properly so we don't make a huge mistake,'

'So you want me to have sex with you, get you pregnant but you want me to move out and not be your husband anymore?'

'I want to try? Get to know each other, but I want a baby now, I mean we know we are going to end up together again right so... we can get started on the baby making at some stage,'

'Are you drunk right now?' he eyed the empty bottle of wine, wondering when they actually drunk it.

'Kinda, I guess, not drunk enough to know I want to do this,' She leaned in and kissed him full on his lips. She kept them there, he was stunned and kissed her back, he half pulled her onto him onto his lap. His hands stroking up and down her back kissing her again. It was a hungry kiss, filled with desperation that they both needed. They backed away from each other looking at each other.

'Are you sure you want to do this?' Daryl asked her.

'Pretty sure, pretty sure I want to keep kissing,' Carol kissed him again, trying to put everything else from her mind that were crashing into her thoughts and just concentrating on kissing. Kissing was good, it was relaxing both of them. Both of them keeping their hands and arms around each other holding on tight to the one person who got them. The other person who understood.