Thanks to Freespirit127 for helping me with fixing the German translations!
Back at the house, Duke sent Drew upstairs to swap out her bathing suit and sunhat for more bike-appropriate clothing. She came back down in a pair of shorts, a tank top, sandals, and a pair of massive sunglasses over her spectacles. Duke sighed.
"Rabbit, how on Earth do you think of that as 'bike appropriate'?"
"This is what I see all the women on the backs of motorcycles wearing."
"Yeah, well," Duke thought about it. Kid was right, "Look, I want you covered up. Not that I'm going to lay down the bike, but you never know. Plus, a hot pipe on your little bare leg would just be brutal. Jeans. You can wear a T-shirt, but you'll need a jacket over it. Sneakers. Go suit up properly, now. Go on. Meet me in the garage."
She trudged back upstairs to change. Duke jogged down to his room to root out his leather jacket, gloves and boots from his closet. He slipped into the boots, shoved the gloves in his jacket pocket and slung it over his shoulder. Laden with the appropriate leather safety gear, he strode back to the garage, snapping his sunglasses and the garage door opener up from the top of the dresser on the way through the bedroom door. Rummaging around in a storage locker, he managed to find an old motocross helmet of Vince's that would probably fit Drew.
She came into the garage just as he was dusting it off, wearing the jeans he'd insisted upon. Her t-shirt depicted an angry Yosemite Sam. The massive sunglasses were still there, but she had swapped out the sandals for a pair of All Stars. She was wearing Vincent's old Members Only jacket. It was way too big.
"You look just about ready, Rabbit. Here, try this on for size," he tried to slip the motocross helmet over her head, but the huge sunglasses got in the way. Duke took them off, and her spectacles. The helmet fit reasonably well, and he smiled at her and rapped the top with a knuckle, "That should protect your pretty little head." On a whim, he looked back in the locker and found the matching motocross leather jacket. It fit his baby sister much better than the Members Only thing, and on the whole he preferred her to be protected by tough leather over flimsy cloth. No sense taking chances.
"Won't I be hot?" Her voice echoed out of the helmet.
"Not once we get moving," He crouched and grinned at her, "Besides, better a little warm than skinless.
"Could you braid my hair?" She managed to slip the helmet back off "I don't want it to get all tangled. I brought some elastic things."
"Ahhhhh, braids," Duke thought about it; not once had he ever braided hair, "Not sure I know how, Rabbit."
"You don't know how to braid hair?'" She was incredulous.
"Rabbit, I can drive a tank, fly a jet, jump out of a plane at midnight and land perfectly safe. I can strategize in the middle of a firefight, take on anyone in the ring and field strip and re-assemble any piece faster than most guys," He rubbed his chin, "but I have to say, I don't think I can braid hair."
"Well, that's stupid. You gotta do the important stuff, too, you know."
"I guess my skills are lacking, Rabbit, sorry. I bet I can manage a pony tail, is that OK?"
"It'll have to do." She backed up to him and raised a hand up so he could grab an elastic band.
Duke chuckled, "heck, all the best girls I know wear pony tails." Using his fingers, he gently pulled her hair back and secured it tightly behind her head, closer to the nape so the helmet could slide over without a problem.
"Am I one of them?" She smiled as she crammed the helmet on and slipped her spectacles on through the open visor.
"Rabbit, you'll always be my best girl." He knocked with his knuckle again. Duke grabbed his own half helmet from where it had been hanging on the handlebars and fastened it under his chin. Frankly, he hated helmet laws. It was much nicer feeling the wind in his hair. Then again, he liked his skull too much to risk it. The irony of surviving a bomb blast only to smear his brains over the asphalt on leave was something he felt better off not exploring.
Duke snapped down the passenger pegs, swung a leg over the bike and righted it as he sat, feeling the suspension give a little under his weight. He held a hand out to her. She ran over to the bike, grabbed his arm, and allowed him to pull her up behind him. Duke slipped in his key, flipped the ignition and the bike roared to life. The engine growled pleasingly, and he pulled the throttle and let the monster roar.
Oh yeah.
"Ok, Rabbit," Duke clicked the opener in his pocket, "hold on to me pretty tight. When we go around corners, I want you to lean a little into them, ok?"
"Right, Duke."
He felt her little arms slide around his stomach. Scarlett could be doing this. He grinned to himself at the thought. On the bike, she'd have no choice but to hang on. I could take her out into the desert and up a few of those mountain roads. Nothing to get in the way up there. Maybe then I could stop at one of those vista things and once and for all…
"Hey, are we going to sit here all day?"
"Sorry," Duke toed the bike into gear and guided it out of the garage. Clicking the door shut behind him, he headed down the long drive and onto the main road. Duke took her down surface roads to the 370 and over the river.
They caught the 94, and he zipped her up into farmland and around Highway H, Black Walnut to Music Ferry, winding past fields. Up Ell to Mertz to Klinghammer, back to Machens and then to Katy Trail. Houses and buildings were a rare sight, maybe a silo or barn flashed by. Right back to where Katy Trail met Machens, onto the 94 to Dwiggins and back to Saale. He'd been all over that area on a different bike when he was younger. He knew every road, every curve, all the dips and rises.
Drew whooped around every corner. He went as fast as he dared, knowing where the cops were more likely to lie in wait and where he could blast down the road without fear of reprisal. She clung on tightly and screeched with glee, her joy egging him on. He found himself throttling up just to make her yell.
Duke took the 67 back over the river. He rode into Flourissant and found his way to Fritz's. He eased the bike back to park at the curb, switched off the ignition, and kicked down the stand. Taking off his helmet and hanging it over a handlebar he turned over his shoulder to look down at Drew.
"Ready for some frozen custard, Rabbit?"
"Can I get a concrete? One of those big ones?"
"Sure, if they'll make it, you can have it." He gave her his arm so she could slide off the passenger seat on the side away from the pipes. Drew grabbed her glasses, pulled off the helmet and handed it to him. He hung it over the other handlebar and pulled her ponytail gently, "What flavor?"
"Chocolate D.B's Delight. Hot fudge, marshmallows and nuts. With extra brownie bits." She grabbed his hand and pulled him across the parking lot to the order window, leaving the bike to tick and cool. There was a group ahead of them.
"Well, Hell, that sounds good," Duke slipped his gloves off and crammed them in his pocket as they got in line. Two attractive women in summer dresses came up behind them.
The group in front of them walked to the outside benches with their custard, and Duke stepped up to the window and addressed the kid with in the bowtie inside, "Yeah, gimme a large concrete, D.B.'s delight with extra brownie bits and, uhhh, a large vanilla with hot fudge and butterscotch." He handed over some cash and turned around to find one of the women smiling at him. He nodded and smiled back, "Afternoon."
Her smile widened, "Hi."
"Here you go, sir." The kid handed their custard through the window. Duke handed Drew a concrete the size of a small cat and they found an empty bench.
"You gonna be able to handle that, Rabbit?"
"Oh yeah, no problem." She plunged her spoon into the side and wrangled a wad of custard, fudge, brownie bits, marshmallow and nuts into her mouth. Somehow, she had already managed to smear chocolate on her cheek.
"Hoo –ah, Rabbit." He took a bite of his own custard and relaxed into the bench. Drew leaned back over his lap and shoveled another load into her mouth, "How'd you like the ride?"
"Cool! It was great! We went really fast! And the corners and swervy bits felt weird. Is that what it's like to fly a Skystriker?"
"Well, maybe a little," Duke shook his head. In his wildest imaginings, he had never thought a Special Forces top kick would find himself trained to fly a jet. Yet, well, there he was, with his name stenciled on one, "Skystrikers are faster, and your stomach tends to follow you around a few feet back." He tickled her stomach under the t shirt, causing her to giggle and wiggle. Seeing her look up at something past him, he raised his head to find the two women standing over them, both smiling.
"I'm sorry," the woman who had smiled at him in line flicked a bang back, "it's just so nice to see a father and daughter having such a good time. So many men have such hang ups about being affectionate in public."
"Um…"
"He's not my father!" Drew rolled her eyes from where she lay across his lap, "Duke's my big brother."
"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry!" The woman blushed and her companion hid a smile behind a perfectly manicured hand. "It's just, well, she's so young!"
"Happens all the time, ma'am. Don't worry."
"Wait," The woman's eyes widened, and she turned to her friend, "Duke? The Duke?" She looked back at him, "are you the Duke from G.I. Joe? Oh my God! Vanessa! Duke! At Fritz's!"
"Carol! Wow!"
"Yes, he is!" Drew crammed another dripping spoonful into her mouth, "He's home on leave and he took me all over on his motorcycle because he's lonely and needed company." She was this side of unintelligible through marshmallow and brownies.
"Oh, that's so sweet of you to go with him!"
"I know it! I could have swum in the river, but Vincent's horny and said I was in the way and Duke was lonely and asked me."
"I see!"
Duke took off his sunglasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"He bench presses four hundred pounds."
The woman and her friend smiled, "He looks like he can."
Drew ran out of things to say, and turned her attention back to smearing her concrete all over her face. Duke lifted her off his lap and stood to shake the women's hands, "ah, pleasure to meet you." Let it never be said that Conrad Hauser had no manners.
The woman called Vanessa rested a hand on his shoulder, "I saw on Twenty Questions that you were in a coma! Are you OK now?"
"Oh, yes ma'am," screw you, Hector Ramirez, "I'm fine. I'll be back on active duty in a few weeks. Just following doctor's orders."
"What do you have to do?"
"Just rest and relax, ma'am." Duke finished his custard, crushed the paper cup into a wad, and tossed it at a nearby trashcan. It went in without hitting the sides or rim, "Excuse me, ladies, but we better get back on the bike. I have a few things I have to do before I get her to the supper I just helped her spoil."
"It's pizza!"
"Of course!" Carol walked up to him, put a hand on his chest, and smiled as she leaned close to whisper in his ear, "If you're still lonely and need help relaxing, give me a call." She slid a piece of paper into his jacket pocket and stepped back. Waving, she and Vanessa walked back over to their car.
Um.
"Ready to head home, Rabbit?" Duke turned to see Drew's chin coated in custard. He grabbed a few napkins from a nearby table and helped her clean up, "how do you get it on your eyebrows like that?"
"Pop says it's a special chocolate talent," she polished a smear of fudge off her glasses. "What did that lady give you?"
Duke reached into his pocket and pulled out the slip of paper, "her number."
"Does everyone hit on you?"
"No," not the one I want, "Let's get you home. I have to get those girls back from the river before dark." He crushed the number up inside the chocolate soaked napkins and threw the whole wad in the trashcan.
He resisted the urge to run back and root it out as he walked Drew back to the bike.
I could call her. She seemed pretty willing. I could probably get some tonight, no strings attached, and not have to worry about teenagers in the basement keeping me awake. Kill two birds with one stone.
It had been a while, and Carol was a pretty attractive woman. Her friend, too.
Yeah, I could probably get some. Then what? She'd find out. Somehow, she'd know…and know you're a dog, Hauser. She's a class act all the way, and all you are is some guy from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, Missouri, who's handy with his fists and a gun, who can bark louder than the rest, and who has already had a few too many one-night stands. Any chance you have would go right down the drain the minute she knew. A chance with her is worth a million one-night stands.
So he kept walking. He suited Drew back up for the ride home, strapped on his helmet, and helped her climb up behind him.
"What now, Duke?"
"Now? Rabbit, we have to head back out to the river and bring Vince, Jenn, and all those girls back to the house. Pizza for supper. Think you can handle pizza after all that custard?"
"Sure!" Drew belched loudly, "think Mamma'll order anchovies?"
"That's right, I forgot you liked anchovies." Duke shuddered. "I guess if someone else wants 'em. I personally can't stand all the little bones. Then again, I'd prefer anchovies over pineapple." Duke started the bike and stepped it into gear.
"Pineapple on pizza is an abomination."
"Damn straight."
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When they got back he parked the bike and tossed both their helmets into the storage locker.
"We'd better get right out there, Rabbit. I have to get the swing down before we can bring them all back." He stuffed his gloves into his pocket and slung his jacket into the bed of the dually. They both climbed into the cab, and he guided it onto the dirt road and up along the pasture to the river.
Looking over her and out the passenger window, he saw Wally galloping alongside them. Duke knew he didn't give his stallion enough attention; unlike the motorcycle, Wally couldn't be moved to base. Times like this, he lamented not having more leave time; horses are meant to be ridden, and there was no way he could possibly justify the expense of stable facilities and the keep of one horse on a military base. Although it would make one Hell of an impression the first muster he rode up to on the huge heavy black friesian.
For a second, Duke entertained the fantasy in his head; he could see the looks on the Joe's faces as he threw in a little dressage along the line. A good stint of Passage. The high-cadenced trot was just perfect for morning inspection. He'd guide Wally over to the muster, down the line, and..and...
Oh God, it's kind of stupid. What would I do with a horse on base?
Duke missed Wally, he missed riding, but combining his two lives grew more and more impossible as time went on.
They reached the river in time to see Vincent take a spectacular spinning swing on the rope, fly like a top over the surface and splash down with a large ker-whap. A raucous cheer followed the performance. Jennifer grabbed the rope and made her best attempt to copy his maneuver. More cheers accompanied her somewhat smaller splash.
Duke put the dually in park and climbed out of the cab. Looking over the river, he saw the detritus of the afternoon's adventure spread over the beach. Towels lay laden with paper plates, soda cans and now and again, a teenage girl sprawled out to catch the sun. One ice chest lay open on its side, tipped to drain out the remaining ice and water. A black plastic bag sat next to it, full of more empty cans, plates and napkins. An massive bag of potato chips sat open atop the second cooler, flapping gently in the mild breeze.
Duke slammed the truck door, and a number of heads turned to look. "All right, girls, time to clean up and head on back. I'm going to take down the rope while you all make sure everything's packed or cleaned away. Vince, think you could get the ice chests and the cooler into the trucks?" He was used to having orders followed; it was no different here. Girls began gathering towels and trash while Vincent dumped the rest of the ice from the empty chest and stowed it in the old truck.
Duke pulled himself back into the cottonwood and over to the cleats and cloth sack. Pulling up the rope, he set to remove the whole rigging. The cleats and bracket went back into the sack with the wrench. The rope he coiled loosely and slung back over his shoulder. It was easier to drop into the water than climber back down, but Duke didn't feel like getting wet again, so he shimmied back over to the trunk and climbed back down, wishing he'd thought to put on his gloves.
By the time he was done, everything was cleaned up and the ice chests, coolers and girls were in the beds of the trunks. Vincent clambered into the old truck and started the engine. Duke went round to the rear of the dually and tossed the rope and sack in gently. Jennifer, Laura, Katie, Mary Jean, and Jessica all smiled at him.
"So, did everyone have a good time?" Duke couldn't help but smile at his sister. Jennifer was almost glowing.
Ahh, to be young and innocent again-parties and friends and not a worry beyond school…
"Yeah, it was great!" Jennifer laughed and hugged Laura.
"We all ready for pizza and movies?" Duke shut the tailgate and leaned against it with his arms on top.
The girls all cheered.
"Let tonight never end!" Mary Jean hollered and waved a fist over her head.
Duke chuckled to himself and walked back around to the driver's door. He slid into the cab next to Drew and started the engine. Vincent had already started down the dirt road for home.
As far as parties Duke had been to, this was pretty tame. Take these girls back to base, and their minds would be blown by some of the "after hours" partying that goes on. The motor pool alone...
Jennifer banged on the top of the cab. He leaned out the window to see what she wanted.
"Vince was going to stop by the stables so I could show the girls the horses. We have time, right? Think Mamma would mind?"
"No," Duke couldn't imagine his mother would mind another few hours free of all her children, "I don't think she'll have a problem with that." He threw the dually into gear and followed Vincent's lead.
Wally shadowed them again as they passed by the pasture. Duke whistled out the window and threw up a hand signal. Wally whinnied and kicked his back legs. Duke gave another whistle, a different hand signal. Wally responded by rearing and tossing his head, kicking his feathered forelegs viscously. The girls marveled loudly from the truck bed. Drew looked over at him and rolled her eyes.
"Show off."
He winked at her and put his fingers to his lips. She winked back and smiled.
They pulled up to the stables. Vincent had already dropped the gate of the his truck to let his teenage cargo jump down and was leading them into its warm alfalfa-scented depths. Duke slid out of the cab and let down his own tailgate. The girls jumped down and followed the others. Drew bounced out of the passenger seat and slammed the door. Jack emerged.
"Just finished bringing them in for feeding, Conrad. Why don't we get the trucks in and deal with these coolers? The kids can walk back down to the house from here."
"Sure. Rabbit, you staying here?"
"Can I help you?"
"I'd appreciate it. Then we can go in and help Mamma order the pizzas."
Drew hopped up into the bed of the dually for the ride to the garage. Duke shut the gate after her. "That way, I can make sure there's no damn pineapple..."
"And lots of extra anchovies!" Drew opened her arms to the heavens and yowled. Jack laughed and kissed her on the forehead, then turned to Duke.
"She tastes of chocolate. Let me guess, Fritz's?"
"Just a little. She ended up wearing most of it."
"Par for the course. With you two 'just a little' is an extra large, but I guess you've both earned it," Jack kissed Drew again and slapped Duke on the shoulder as he went to get into the old work truck, "Let's get these trucks back to home base, Champ."
0000000000000000000000000000
All three climbed the back porch and into the kitchen to find Mamma on the phone to Angelo's.
"Yes, well, we have a big group of big eaters here, so I'm going to have to order several," she looked up at the sound of the screen slapping shut behind them, "Oh, hang on a second," she slipped a hand over the receiver and smiled at them, "I'm just ordering the pizzas now, any requests?"
"Triple anchovies! With olives." Drew thought for a minute, "and onions."
Mamma laughed and shook her head, "I think you're alone in that one, sweetling. Perhaps they'll make me a small for you."
Drew flopped into her kitchen chair and kicked her legs against the rungs.
"Get her a calzone, that'll work," Jack kissed her on the cheek, "I have a sneaking suspicion she won't be very hungry. I'm flexible, I'll have some of whatever you order for the kids."
"Good idea, dear. Conrad?"
"No pineapple."
"With you, that's a given."
"Fruit doesn't belong on pizza."
"Aren't tomatoes fruit?" Drew chirped, "Mr. Billing told us that a tomato is a fruit. There are tomatoes all over pizza."
"She's got you there, Conrad."
"Technically, tomatoes are fruit. Scientifically, tomatoes are fruit. Realistically, I don't want pineapple anywhere near any pizza I plan on eating. The man who thought of that should be dragged out into the street and shot."
Jack laughed. Mamma sighed.
"Well, beyond 'no pineapple', do you have any preferences, dear?"
"Meat?"
"What kind of meat, Conrad?"
"All of it."
Jack laughed again. Mamma sighed and rolled her eyes. She took her hand off of the receiver and addressed the person on the other end of the line, "Sorry for keeping you waiting. I'll have two extra large cheese, two extra large pepperoni, two extra large sausage and peppers, one large veggie lover's delight, one calzone with triple anchovies, olives, and onions-yes, you heard me right, triple...and one large pizza with every type of meat you can find and no pineapple whatsoever. No, we have drinks already. Yes, I'll hold."
Duke walked over to his mother and gave her a squeeze, "I'm going for a little run, I think."
"It will probably be here before you get back, I assume you want me to save you some."
"Yeah," Duke opened the door to the downstairs level, "but you only have to save me one. I'm not extremely hungry."
Her eyebrows lifted in mild surprise, "My bottomless pit of a son only wants one piece?"
He looked back at her and smiled, "One pizza." She waved her hand at him dismissively and went back to providing an address for the delivery boy.
Downstairs, he changed into running shorts and a different t shirt. He kicked off his boots, pulled off his long socks and pulled his running shoes out of the closet. Duke opened his top drawer to pull out a pair of short socks and there it was.
Papa's watch.
Duke knew it was there. It was always there. It had been there since he put it there, when they moved him down here. Still, every time he saw it, he felt the bottom of his stomach fall out.
Papa's watch.
It was a plain watch. Gold. A Glashutte. Probably worth a pretty penny, but you wouldn't know it from looking. The dark leather band was worn from where it had been buckled and unbuckled around his father's wrist a thousand times. It had run down, now, but when fully wound, it kept time perfectly.
Papa's watch.
Duke gently lifted it from it's box and flipped it over to read the inscription, which was the same as the one on his father's wedding ring. "S.W. Hauser".
Papa's watch.
Duke ran his thumb over the crystal. He could vividly remember sitting on his father's lap on the big chair in front of the fire of a cold winter evening, held there by strong gentle arms. He had played with the golden hairs on one and stared at the watch. If his father hugged him just right, he could hear it softly ticking him to sleep.
Papa's watch.
It was daytime. The sunlight filtered through the trees in the woods next to the quarry. Birds were singing. A nice breeze was blowing. We were playing. James and me. Just us, in the woods, while Papa, Uncle Max, Uncle Leo, Uncle Rolf and the hired hands were working on new fences in the middle pasture. It was daytime. Papa had left Ulf with us. Two boys and a dog. It was daylight.
Bad things aren't supposed to happen in the daylight. Nightmares are supposed to happen at night.
But Duke knew that wasn't true. Every day it was brought home to him that that wasn't true. Even now. It was in full daylight when his fathers strong arms were ripped away from him. Forever.
Papa's watch.
Papa...
Duke nestled the watch back in it's box and slowly slid the drawer closed. He quickly laced up his shoes and ran up the stairs to the kitchen. There, he made a beeline for the door and the isolation and freedom of a tough run.
"Dear, do you want a bee.." Mamma turned to address him as he passes
He pretended not to have heard her and escaped to the outside. Duke pushed himself into a fast cadence and quickly warmed up to his typical run out to the river along to the south pasture and Cousin Willy's place, and back.
We only spoke German, back then, at home. In every house on this land, really. We all spoke German. English was for people outside the family.
How long had it been since his mother and he had spoken to each other in German? Things had changed when she married Jack; she didn't want him to feel like an outsider in his own home, whichever base housing they were in at the time. Duke went from farmboy to army brat almost overnight. He and his mother had continued to speak to each other in German when they were alone, but those times had come fewer and farther in between when first Vincent, and then Jennifer were born. By that time Jack had found a permanent post in his assignment at Leonard Wood and they'd settled back in the big house. Duke found himself surrounded by a new family and old friends he thought he'd never see again, having to defend his brother and sister's right to their place in the small town's pecking order. Not Hausers, but not anything else the townfolk knew, either.
Eventually it all worked out. We all found ways to fit in again. But German became a foreign tongue in a house whose walls had rung with it.
Dusk was settling, and Duke could see the river far ahead. It would be a cooler run than he had anticipated, but not uncomfortable.
When I came back from Vietnam, I only heard German from my Uncles and Cousins. She stopped speaking it. My own mother stopped speaking the only language I can remember Papa's voice in.
Even that was fading from Duke.
He reached the river and turned south along the dirt trail. Sweat was pouring down his face. His heart pounded, his breath grew hard to hang onto. It felt good. Sitting in that hospital bed out of it so long did less damage to his stamina than he'd feared.
Kids don't even speak it. They're both taking French in school. Heck, I took French in high school.
Duke hurdled a large branch that had fallen into the trail. He made a mental note to come back later in the week and take care of it.
Maybe I can convince Rabbit to take German. Then I can help her practice over the phone, just to hear it from someone. Heck, the last time Mamma spoke it to me, Rabbit had popped up in her.
Drew had come as a surprise to everyone. Duke knew his mother had not planned for more children. He was already out of the house and drilling trainees by then. It seemed that Jane Falcone was destined to have children at the extremes of her childbearing years; she had married young and given birth to him in her late teens and ended by giving him a sister young enough to be regularly misidentified as his daughter. Not that he minded that much.
He was there when she was born. The same young doctor that had delivered him in his mother's bed had brought Drew into the world in the local hospital.
Shocked the Hell out of me. There I am, home on leave from Benning, and Mamma goes into labor right in front of me.
Jack had been away at Ft. Riley in Kansas. Both he and Mamma made a plan of action months before; but Duke hadn't been privy to it. Her water broke in the kitchen and he froze. It took Vincent shoving the phone in his hand to snap him to action. Duke remembered the ensuing mad scramble.
Call Uncle Timmy to come watch the kids. Grab the suitcase. Get in the car. Off to the hospital.
It wasn't a short drive, and by the time they'd arrived, he was more than panicked from listening to her groan through contractions in the passenger seat. Duke had breathed a sigh of relief once he'd gotten her to maternity, thinking his part of playing Jack for the day done. To his shock and horror, Dr. Smithers had shoved him into a gown and mask and through the delivery room door, refusing to let Mamma give birth without some sort of support.
I didn't know they started letting men in. I thought we all sat in some waiting room somewhere. Instead, I was forced to be part of the miracle of childbirth. Fucking loudest miracle I've ever been to. No one gave me any choice in the matter.
The trail met the dirt road around the south pasture and Duke followed it towards Willy's.
It was terrible. Loud. No one ever wants to hear his own Mamma go through that. I don't think I've heard wounded soldiers scream so loud. She should have had the epidural, but she toughed it out. And then, there was Rabbit. All loud and red and angry.
Duke had been shocked when Dr. Smithers told him later it was a relatively fast delivery. Duke's birth had taken four times as long. He looked down at the yowling bundle in his mother's arms in wonder. She hadn't existed nine months ago, and now here was this new little person. Mamma handed her over to him and he'd sat nervously holding his new baby sister, worried his big hands would crush her.
She stopped crying. They handed her to me and as soon as I held her, she stopped.
Duke remembered looking down into a face full of two big blue wondering eyes glittering up at him over a pug nose- and that was it. He was smitten. Half the time if she cried in the night, it was Duke who went to comfort her, if he was home and heard. Bottles, diapers, gas, whatever. Any excuse to scoop little Rabbit out of her crib and into his arms.
Reaching the edge of Willy's part of the property, bad memories at least temporarily shoved aside by good, Duke tagged a fencepost and turned to make the return trip home.
He burst into the kitchen covered in sweat. The table was covered with pizza boxes and large soda bottles. Mamma looked at him with concern.
"Conrad, is everything OK? You rushed out of here looking lost."
"Ich musste laufen." I needed to run. He grabbed a glass, went to the tap to fill it with water. He chugged it fast, then filled it and drained it a second time. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a tilted head. He could see the German took her by surprise.
"Talk to me, Conrad. What upset you?"
"Es ist nichts. Mir geht es gut." Nothing. I'm fine "Ich muss den Schweiß weg waschen." I need to wash the sweat off.
Mamma came close to him and rested a hand on his cheek, ""Dir geht es nicht gut. Ich wünschte, du würdest nicht alles in dich reinfressen, mein Kleiner." You're not. I wish you wouldn't cram these things down inside you, little one.
He smiled at the term of endearment, "Not so little, anymore, Mamma. I'm fine."
"Nicht so klein, ja. Aber es geht Dir auch nicht so gut." Not so little, yes. But not so good, either.
"Mach Dir keine Sorgen, das wird schon wieder." Don't worry, I'll be fine.
"Du weißt, Du mußt dem nicht alleine gegenüberstehen. Was auch immer es ist, ich bin immer für dich da. Du kannst mir alles sagen." You don't have to face these things alone, you know. Whatever it is, I am always here for you. You can tell me anything. She put both hands on his head and pulled him forward till their foreheads touched and she could peer into his eyes.
"Es gibt keinen Punkt beim Erhalten verloren, in was gewesen sein konnten und in was es vom Vorkommnis stoppte." There's no point in getting lost in what might have been and what stopped it from happening.
Duke looked deeply into his mother and saw she understood. Pain still dwelt deep within her, too. His gently kissed her forehead and stepped back.
"Ich gehe duschen. Danke Mama, ich liebe dich." I 'm getting a shower. Thank you Mamma, I love you.
Duke climbed down the stairs to his room and his shower, hoping the hot water would wash away the last of his anguish.