****NOTE: This may eventually become chapter 6. I'm not sure it fits so well here in the timeline, but I had an idea and had to get it onto the page***
"Oh wow, no way, that isn't going to work."
Duke sighed as he watched Jennifer eye him appraisingly. Mamma stood behind her, shaking her head. Drew, who was sitting at the kitchen table, laughed.
"You look like Dr. Banner, when he's halfway to turning into the Hulk." She grinned and lowered her voice as far as she could. "Don't make Duke angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. RRRRAAAAWWRRRRgggggggg." She stomped around the kitchen.
"Most people don't, Rabbit." Duke peeled himself out of his sport coat. It took some doing, since it seemed to have shrunk a size or two. After that, his dress shirt was still tight over his biceps, shoulders, chest and neck. The fabric strained at the buttons from his neck down over his chest. His slacks fit over his waist, but were kind of binding elsewhere, making them pinch him uncomfortably in areas he would prefer not to be pinched.
"Do your eyes go all freaky and green?"
"No." He folded the coat and hung it over the back of the chair, then loosened his collar. It didn't help much.
"That's too bad."
"If you lift your arms, Con, you'll rip it." Jennifer crossed her arms and tapped her toe. "There's no way you can go to dinner in that."
"Well it's all I've got."
"It's sort of a year or two, maybe three, out of style, too."
"Look, I don't wander around in civvies all that much. This has been sitting in my closet here for years."
Mamma picked up the coat and examined the seams. "There's no way I could let it out enough. My God, Conrad, just how much have you put on?"
"A good size or two of muscle, I guess."
"Like He-Man! By the power of, um, whatever your base is called..."
"Headquarters?" Duke decided to take the stupid dress shirt off and be comfortable in his undershirt.
"By the power of headquarters! Duke has the power!" Rabbit raised her hand over her head and made thunder noises.
"How many hours of television do you watch a day, Rabbit?"
"Too many." Mamma sighed. "I suppose the slacks and jacket could be made to fit Vincent. I'd have to shorten the sleeves and legs, take them in a bit, but it really is too nice a suit to not bother. Do you at least have another dress shirt?"
"I have a couple, but they're all this size. I was this size last time I needed dress shirts." Duke sat carefully. "I guess I'll just have to wear my dress greens."
Mamma frowned, "No. I want us all dressed like a normal, everyday family."
"When are we ever that?" Drew slipped into Duke's sportcoat. It swallowed her. Duke leaned forward and fastened the buttons. She thwapped him with a sleeve.
"I'm not sure what you mean, Mamma. We're a military family. Dress greens are par for the course around here." Drew hit him in the face with a sleeve. He grabbed both sleeves, crossed her arms over her chest and tied them behind her back.
Jennifer laughed. "Drew, you look like you're in a straight jacket. It works for you."
Drew danced around the room and chanted. "They're coming to take me away, ha ha! They're coming to take me away!"
Duke turned to his mother. "You were saying something about 'normal'? What's wrong with my dress greens? I'd wear my dress mess-it's fancier, but I left that whole kit at base."
"The sword, too?"
"The sword, too, Rabbit."
"Drat."
"You're on leave, that's what's wrong." Mamma folded Duke's dress shirt and laid it gently on the table. "Conrad, you're very handsome in uniform, but I don't want to see you in one until you have to go back. I think you look just as nice dressed up as a civilian." She turned to stop Drew, who had started winding herself up in the long phone cord where it dangled from the wall. Duke rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Don't roll your eyes at me, First SergeantConrad Sebastian 'Duke' Hauser."
Jennifer laughed. "You're in trouble! You got all the names, your nickname, and rank."
"Look, Mamma, what do you want me to do? Chez Leon is a dressy place, you wanted us all to dress up, and all I have is my greens. I can't exactly go in jeans and a flannel shirt."
"Stop growing! I thought we would be done with you having to hand things down to your brother once you hit your twenties."
"He can still fit in his old football jersey, Mamma." Drew had managed to free her arms and now stood in front of Duke, thwapping him with both sleeves.
"That was designed to be worn over pads, and he's not wearing his football jersey to dinner."
"He wore it to dinner last night."
"That's different, Rabbit." Duke pulled the jacket up and over her head and tied the sleeves around her face. "So, what do you want me to do then, Mamma? This is your night. I'll do what you want." Drew stumbled across the kitchen and ran into Vince as he came into the kitchen, dressed to the nines. She ricocheted into the pantry. Duke leaned over and shut the pantry door.
"Check it out!" Vincent posed with his hand in his pocket. "GQ, all the way, baby!" He turned and posed with his hand on his chin.
"Very nice, Vincent. The pants are a little high. I think I'm going to have to let the cuffs down. You will need a tie, of course, but you can borrow one of your father's. You're set, then. And Jennifer looks lovely in her blue dress. But your brother has grown out of yet another set of clothes."
"Sergeant Beefcake bursting at the seams, huh? Wish I could bulk out like that." Vincent grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table, polished it on his lapel, and took a bite.
"No you don't. Not until you're buying your own clothes. Well, Conrad, I have to go shopping with Drew, anyhow, since she needs a nice D.R.E.S.S."
"I heard that!" Drew's muffled voice leaked out of the pantry. "I am not wearing a dress."
"You are, and you're going to that new mall in Florissant to buy one."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes. Your brother can come along with us and get new slacks, shirts, and a sportcoat."
"That new monstrosity, the, what is it, Jamestown Mall? Seriously, do I have to go there?" He leaned over again an opened the pantry door to reveal Drew, free from his jacket, with her hand in a bag of cookies. "Drop that Oreo, Rabbit!" She yelped and retreated deep inside.
Mamma rubbed her temples. "How is it that of all my children, you two are the most alike?"
"Well, I do also refuse to wear a dress."
"Shame," Jennifer giggled, "You've got nice legs."
"Wow, thanks." Duke stood and ambled into the pantry, took the Oreos from his baby sister, helped himself to one, and put the bag on the shelf. He grabbed her, stowed her under his arm facing behind him, and carried her back out. "Mamma, I'm not sure I really want to go to a crowded shopping mall."
"Tough, they've got a Macy's. You can get everything you need there. Beyond dinner tomorrow, you need nice clothes for when you go out, say, with a woman, perhaps. On a date. Her hair might possibly be red...I don't know."
"I bet she'll be classy. You'd want to dress up for that." Jennifer smirked.
"Oh, yeah. You should GQ yourself out for her, Bro. Classy chick like that. She doesn't go for that crude, swearing, non- GQ kind of guy, right?" Vince gave him a thumbs up.
"OK, now you're all ganging up on me. Don't think I won't remember this."
"That's final, then. We'll go shopping this afternoon after lunch." Mamma nodded smugly to herself. She had that look. Duke knew better than to argue further.
"I'm going, too! There's no way on Earth I'd miss this trip." Jennifer smiled and slapped Duke on the back.
"Like you'd ever pass up shopping, sis." Vincent tried another pose, slowly unbuttoning his blazer and then running his hand through his hair. "I'm going, too. I want to get a new tie, maybe new shoes. I want to go in the hobby, store, too. I need a new project."
"So we're all going!" Drew clapped from under his arm. She managed to grab Duke's undershirt and pull herself free. He helped her as she climbed up to his back and clung on to his shoulders. "I can see for miles from up here."
"We're all going where?" Jack wandered in from the porch and to the sink to wash his hands.
"Shopping at the Jamestown Mall, dear. Drew and Conrad need clothes for tomorrow night, and Vincent and Jennifer are tagging along. Would you like to come?"
"Hell no, that place is a nightmare." He kissed her and went back outside.
Duke sighed and went through the door and down the basement stairs. Drew leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Cheer up, Big Brother. It can't be worse than the Arena of Sport."
"I'm not sure about that, Rabbit." Duke grumbled. He pulled her off his shoulders and tossed her, whooping, on the sectional and went to change into something that didn't pinch.
The mall was every bit as crowded as Duke dreaded it would be. He didn't hate people. He didn't even really hate crowds. What Duke hated was the way so many people did double takes when he walked by. Just a few years ago, he could go anywhere and just be a normal person. He was fine in Musik's Ferry, where everyone knew him since birth and never seemed really surprised to see him. Well, barring the odd gaggle of teenage girls.
Now, thanks to Hector Ramirez blowing any chance of the anonymity he had in the rest of the world, Duke was finding it hard to go anywhere beyond his own tiny hometown without being oogled and sometimes approached by complete strangers. How could someone he never met know who he was?
It's not as if I'm a celebrity, I'm not. I'm a damn soldier. I never wanted to be on TV. I'm not an actor, I'm not a superhero, I'm just a normal guy. I'm just...me.
Duke felt bad about how irritated it made him. After all, people were always nice, and usually happy to see him. He didn't really mind the smiles, or the waves, a few high fives or fist bumps. He really couldn't complain about the women flirting, although he had pretty much turned them all down. It could be an issue in the future.
I hope it will be, anyhow.
He'd noticed, though, that with more news reports, more articles and even more TV time, people were getting a bit pushier. Now and again, there were cameras, news or otherwise He was worried about the chance of pictures, especially when he had his family with him. At least there was little chance of anyone carrying a camera in a suburban mall.
Duke kept his sunglasses on as they pushed through the mall entrance. He felt like an idiot, but it just might help hide him from sight. All in all, what her really wanted was to be left alone.
"Hey, Franklin, that guy looks just like Duke from G.I. Joe."
Fuck it.
He took off his glasses and shoved them in his pocket, hoping that he could just get in and out fast. Mamma led them over to the directory, which reassured them that, yes, you are here.
How existential. "We're hitting Macy's right?"
"Yes, there it is, just across the way. We parked at the right end of the Mall." Mamma pointed to where Macy's anchored the west end of the structure. They were at the end of a side hall, and had to walk down to the main drag to get to the department store.
Jennifer turned to Mamma, "While you're getting Drew a dress, and Conrad's getting new slacks and stuff, and Vince is getting some ties, do you mind if I check out the makeup counters? I'd like to get a few things. I've saved my allowance. It won't take long."
"Of course, dear."
"Can I go to the toy store? I've got some allowance saved, too." Drew pointed to where Kay Bee huddled on the map.
"Later, Drew, if you behave, we can go. It's right next to Vincent's hobby store."
A couple of kids walked up next to them to look at the directory. Duke felt Drew yanking on his shirt. "Will you come with me to the toy store, Duke?"
"I don't see why not, Rabbit. You're going to try and get me to buy you something, right?"
"Would I do that, Duke?"
Hearing his nickname and his voice, the kids looked up at him with wide eyes.
"It's Duke..."
"Cool."
"Hey, Duke, high five!" Both boys held their palms up. Duke high-fived them both and smiled. He had absolutely no clue what to say.
"Afternoon, boys."
"Cool, Duke, awesome." They stood there, staring at him.
Duke noticed a few people beginning to pay attention. "Right. Well, I'd better get my shopping done." Duke waved in Macy's general direction.
"Cool."
"Uh, yeah."Duke walked towards the main drag, Drew grabbed his forearm with both hands and hung. He swung her a few times, then let her down.
Jennifer walked quietly next to him. "It makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?"
"Yup. I never was much for spotlights."
Vincent snorted. "You're kidding me, right? MVP of the state Champ football team, golden gloves over and over, gymnastics star, top of your class in Special Forces School, Medal of Honor, two bronze stars, who knows how many Purple Hearts, a crapload of other commendations, and field commander of G.I. Joe. In everyone's eyes, you're perfect. You don't like the spotlight."
Duke looked at his brother. Vincent stared at the floor.
"Hey, kid, I don't. I really don't. I do things the best I can, that's all. I don't know...why put in half effort? I don't see the point of that. Just because I'm good at things like sports and fighting doesn't mean I want people fawning all over me. I don't. But I'm not going to do anything half-assed. There's a difference between just doing your best and telling the world you are the best. Plus, you know, I'm pretty far from perfect.
"I guess." They reached Macy's
"Does that kind of thing happen often, dear?" Mamma stopped at the entrance and turned to him.
"More and more, it seems."
Vincent ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, those kids just really were happy to see you. That's all. To them, you're a friggin' hero, right? It was cool for them. Try to remember that. To you, they're irritating, but to them, you're this really awesome guy and it's amazing to meet you."
"Vincent, that's very perceptive and thoughtful of you." Mamma put her hand on her youngest son's shoulder. "But do understand your brother's point of view. A lot of staring would make anyone uncomfortable."
Duke grinned at his brother. "I'll try to keep it in perspective, kid. C'mon. You need a tie and I need...well I need a lot of stuff. Let's hit the men's department."
"Right."
Duke saw a woman start as they walked past the jewelry counters. She turned to her friend, who was leaning over the watches, and pointed excitedly in their direction. He tried to look preoccupied, which was difficult, since he didn't want to be there in the first place.
They reached the escalators and Mamma checked the directory.
"Ok, you boys head to the second floor. Drew and I will go downstairs to the children's department. Jennifer, you know your makeup is on this floor right on the other side of the jewelry, when you've got what you need, either find your brothers or come find me upstairs. Whoever is done first come to meet the other group. Everyone got that?"
All four responded at the same time. "Yes."
Drew clapped her hands. "Break!"
Duke and Vincent climbed on the escalator and were carried up to the menswear section on the next floor. They bypassed the casual clothes quickly walked back to where the dress shirts and suits hung on racks presided over by well-dressed mannequins.
"Oh wow, how do I choose?" Vincent began sorting through a plethora of ties.
"Some of those are just criminal." Duke held up a large blue and red checked tie. "Try to find something not too flashy, but not dull. Me, I can't handle anything too busy." He put down the checked monstrosity and picked up a basic silver silk tie with diagonal pinstripes. "Something like this. That red one's not bad." He pointed to a swiss-dotted dark red tie.
Vincent held up an electric blue tie with odd red abstract shapes and blobs, then another yellow tie with giant blue roses. "These are kind of flashy."
Duke raised his eyebrows doubtfully. "If you really like that kind of thing, kid."
"How about this?" He showed Duke a super skinny green tie with tiny pink pigs.
"Uhhh, yeah. I'll let you figure out what you like." Duke walked back into the racks of slacks. What's with all these giant heavy pleats? Good God. He found a few pairs of slacks he sort of liked and went to look for a matching jacket. What he wanted was pretty much the same sport coat he had before, just bigger. What he found was a maddening array of blazers, double breasted, single breasted, sport coats, re-styled Nehru jackets leftover from who knows when, overly baggy suits and worse. Solids, prints, checks, pinstripes, houndstooth, even plaid. Colors that ranged from basic black to Baskin Robbins. Three racks and twenty minutes into his search and he wasn't sure he could stand another minute.
Dammit, I should have insisted on my dress greens. I don't have to think about that. The only way to wear it is the way they tell me to.
Duke turned to go through it all again once more and nearly collided with the young woman who had snuck up behind him. She was lucky...he might have decked her. She smiled up at him cheerfully.
"Can I help you, sir?"
"No, thanks, just getting a few new things."
"Everything he has is too small."
Duke looked past the woman to see his kid brother and sister, both brandishing Macy's bags and huge grins. Jennifer came right up to him and patted his chest. "He's getting to be a big boy, now."
The woman looked between all three, confused and then brandished a tape measure. "If you no longer fit in your suit, and you're buying ready made, it would be best if I re-measure you."
Duke looked around for a male salesperson. "I figure it's just a size or two."
"Sir, you really want to be sure that it fits you right-a well-measured outfit is so much sharper." She unwound the tape measure and held it up in both hands.
"Well, see, I just need to find a jacket and try these pants." Duke raised the arm on which he'd draped his pants selection. "If they don't fit, I'll go a size up."
"Honestly sir you..." she narrowed her eyes and stared at him, "I know you from somewhere."
Oh God, here it comes...
"Aren't you-"
"How are we doing, gang?" Mamma came up towing Drew and a small garment bag.
"It's a battle. She wants to measure him, and Con's putting up a good fight." Jennifer laughed.
"C'mon, Con, you have a problem with a cute girl taking your measure? You know they say size doesn't matter." Vincent smiled and leaned against a display. The salesgirl blushed.
Duke glared at him. "Vince, just wait...sometime you're not expecting..."
Drew grabbed Duke's hand. "She's too young for you, anyhow, Duke. You're supposed to like Scarlett, right?"
"Et Tu, Rabbit?"
The salesgirl squeaked, "That's it! You're Duke! From..."
"GI Joe." Vincent, Jennifer and Drew chorused together.
"Yeah, that's me." Duke sighed and looked at his mother, a sinking sensation flooding slowly over him.
"Well, Sir...Duke...please let me measure you. I honestly am really good at it, and my supervisor sort of insists." She waved towards where a severe-looking man leaned against the sales register. "He's watching right now. This is my second summer break working here, and I really need to keep the job to help pay for winter semester."
"Oh Conrad, let her measure you; it won't hurt." Mamma re-arranged her purse and bag over one arm.
Duke looked over at the supervisor. The man mistook his gaze for a summons and came over to address them.
"Is everything OK, Sir? Is Brandy providing the assistance you need? I can help you personally if you're not satisfied."
Duke watched the girl's eyes fall and the smile slide off her face. She's working her way through school...
"No, no problem at all, she was just going to measure me to make sure I got the right fit." Duke put his hand on Brandy's shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled. "I need one-no, two-pairs of pants, a new jacket and three shirts."
"Oh, very good sir." The manager's eyes darted around the group, looking for any sign of displeasure. "In that case, just step over to the mirrors over there, and she will take care of you."
"Come with me." Brandy chirped and lead them to a three way mirror near the dressing rooms. She took the pants from Duke and indicated he should stand in front of the mirror, then stood back and looked at him appraisingly.
"Mamma, I've been good, I let you buy me that...that dress. Can I go to the toy store now?"
"I thought you wanted me to come along, Rabbit." Duke looked back over his shoulder.
"I do, but this is kind of boring." Drew yawned.
Shopping fatigue. I remember that. Nothing worse than standing around waiting for someone in a store.
"I'll take her." Vincent grabbed Drew by the hand. "Then we can go to the hobby shop."
"Don't you want to stay for this? Probably your only chance to see our big brother measured into submission."
"Tempting, Jenn, but I wanted to maybe get a snack or something on the way. C'mon, Drew, I'll buy you a pretzel."
"With that dippy cheese. Two dippy cheeses. Please?"
"Sure, you can have all the dippy cheese you want."
"Fine, dear, we'll catch up to you in the hobby store. If you finish first, though, come back here.
"Got it." Vincent lead Drew away. Duke felt a little let down; he'd wanted to go with her to the toy store and see what kinds of things she was desperate for. It made Christmas and birthday shopping a little easier. He could go into Keystone and find what he knew she wanted and have it shipped back to her. Duke rarely made it home for birthdays and Christmas, these days. He had expected and anticipated her trying to trick him into buying her something today, though, and had every inclination to cave to her machinations.
Jennifer joined her mother on the couch by the fitting room. Both put their packages down by their feet. Duke realized they were making themselves comfortable for the long haul. Brandy went behind a counter and came back with a stepstool and a pad.
"Ok, stand up as straight as you can."
"Ten-hut big brother."
"Cute, Jenn." Duke pulled himself to attention.
"Uh, wow, perfect." Brandy pulled out her tape measure, stepped up on the stool, and measured him around the shoulders. "Lift your arms." Duke raised his arms, and she passed the tape over his chest. Duke saw her eyebrows raise as the tape slid over his pecs. "Drop them." Duke let his arms fall. "Good. Were the sleeves on the last jacket a little snug over your bicep?"
"A bit."
"Right." She stepped down from the stool and held the tape from his sleeve to his wrist, then passed it around his upper arm. She stood back and made a few notes on her pad. "Almost done." She wrapped the tape around his waist and nodded to herself, writing again on her pad.
"That it?" Duke let himself stand at ease.
"Almost." She took a step back, held up the tape, dropped it, took a deepish breath, and then looked him in the eye. "Right, or left?"
"What?"
"Right or, um, left?" She nodded in the direction of his belt buckle.
Oh, God. "Well-"
"Left."
"Mamma!" Duke tried to look anywhere but the three women.
"Am I wrong?"
"...no. Left."
Brandy stepped forward, crouched, and measured the inseam of Duke's right leg. He examined the air conditioning vents and the sprinklers. Jennifer caught on and laughed.
Brandy made her final notes. "Right, I know your size. Anything in particular you were looking for?"
"A pair of pants and a jacket? That's pretty much it."
"She's talking about style, Con." Jennifer smirked, "Do you want to go Miami Vice or St. Elmo's Fire?"
"Jenn...what?" Duke felt lost.
"Only the most popular show and movie out there, geez. You know, Andrew McCarthy, Judd Nelson, Don Johnson?"
"Jenn, what the Hell does Don Johnson have to do with sport coats, or Judd Nelson and Andrew McCarthy with pants? Who are these people?" Duke looked at his mother. "Who are these people?"
"Jennifer, I doubt your brother has much time to go see movies, or watch television, for that matter."
"Do you live in a cave, Con?"
"Look, I've heard of Miami Vice." Bazooka, Footloose, Spirit, Flint, and all the women were glued to it every Friday night. "That's the one where he never shaves, yet never grows the damn beard, either, and he dresses like an ice cream salesman."
Brandy waved towards a display of blindingly pastel and white suits. "It's really popular. We make a lot of sales in that style. The guys in St. Elmo's Fire dress like that." She pointed to a display of baggy suits with big shoulders and loud ties.
"Like clowns? Great. Clowns and ice cream salesmen who don't shave." Duke sighed. "Look, what I want is a classic pair of pants and a basic cut jacket or sport coat, maybe a shirt that doesn't scream 'asylum'."
"So you don't want to look like Don Johnson?"
"Screw Don Johnson."
"And you don't want to look like Andrew McCarthy?"
"Who?"
Brandy's face lit up. "Thank GOD. Finally a man who wants to dress like a man. You don't know how it sickens me to see how many of those things go out the door. In another ten years, those guys will be wondering what they were thinking, just like my Uncle and his stupid leisure suit from the seventies."
"What was your major again?" Duke looked at her wonderingly.
"Fashion, modern and historical. There's nothing classier than a classic cut. The only man who should be wearing shoulder pads is one on a football field."
"Well, that would be that one." Mamma looked in her purse for a tissue. She dabbed her nose, then stuffed it up her sleeve. "But I agree about no shoulder pads. His are broad enough as it is."
"Come on, Con, don't you want just a little bit of Crockett in your pocket?"
Duke looked sidelong at his sister. "God, no."
Brandy opened up a dressing room. "Here you go. I'm going to grab a few things for you to try. I'll get a few shirts while I'm at it. Any price range?"
"Not really." Duke sighed. "I might as well get something that will last. Just don't go crazy."
"Right."
Duke turned to his mother. "Tell me this is almost over."
"Conrad, you have to try everything on to be sure."
"It'll be fun, Con." Jennifer sat up and her eyes twinkled. "Just pretend you're a model."
Duke thought about Cover Girl. The last he had seen, she was covered in grease, hurling obscenities at Crank Case and Clutch. "I don't think that's gonna work."
Brandy came back with an armful of garments and hustled Duke into the changing room.
"Ok, try on the dark slate gray pants and jacket with the black shirt." She shut him in.
"What about a tie?" Mamma looked back at the tie section.
"No tie for now, just leave the top button undone."
"Right." Duke slid into the pants and shirt, buttoned everything up, tucked his shirt in, slid on the jacket and stepped out for inspection. He fiddled with his cuffs as he walked out in front of the mirrors in his socks. There was absolute silence. Duke looked up from his cuffs to see all three women staring at him in shock.
"What, no good?"
Mamma smiled, "You look very nice, dear. Rather dashing."
"Um. Wow. Con, is that you?" Jennifer blinked dramatically. "You look, well, really handsome!"
Duke turned to look at himself in the three way mirror. Not bad. Not bad at all. Brandy came up behind him and made a few adjustments.
"How's the fit?"
"Pretty comfy." He held his arms straight to be sure the sleeves were the right length. He watched in the mirror as Mamma joined them. She lifted the shoulders of the jacket to check the hang, came in front, and buttoned the jacket. She smiled at him while she fiddled with the collar and lapels.
"Dark colors look good on you, dear." She stepped back and eyed the pants appraisingly. "Do the slacks pinch?"
"No. Plenty of room." Duke looked over at the lighter slate blue slacks Brandy had also picked out. "Are those the same?"
"Pretty much the same cut. I just figured you'd want something in a different color. Grays and slates and black will look pretty good on you. Dark blues, too, which is why I picked out a dark blue shirt. Then a basic white. I also brought a dark slate tie. You can wear that with all three shirts. I would get a jacket to match the lighter pants, though. That black shirt would look good over jeans. Untucked, even."
This, and dinner for all six of us. This is getting pricey. Duke looked over at his mother and sister.
"Con, you really do look great. Like a million bucks. You should totally buy all that stuff." Jennifer
"Look, I wrote up what it would all cost, including the ties and extra jacket." Brandy handed Duke an itemized slip. He sucked in his breath when he saw the total.
"This will last for a long time. Unlike the guy I just sold the white blazer and canary yellow shirt, you'll look good in this for years."
Duke looked back again at Mamma and Jenn. Both were smiling. Jennifer's eyes pleaded.
"Whoah, First Sergeant GQ to the rescue!" Duke spun to see Vincent and Drew, laden with toy and hobby bags. "Lookin' good, bro! You'll be peeling the chicks off of you."
"You look cool. Like a secret agent." Drew ran over and jumped into Duke's arms.
"Careful, Rabbit, it isn't paid for yet."
"Do you know every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man?"
"On that note, I guess I'd better go ahead and buy it all."
Jennifer cheered. Duke set Drew down and walked into the dressing room to get his wallet out of his jeans. He pulled out his credit card and handed it to Brandy, making a mental note to call the bank and shift funds around before he took them to dinner. Brandy left to run the sale, and he went back to the dressing room to change. He took one last look in the mirror, and imagined showing up to Scarlett's door.
Dinner? Drinks? Breakfast?
He sighed to himself.
Right. That's just corny. That's a Flint line if I ever heard one. Only he makes it work, somehow.
Duke changed into his regular clothes, putting the jacket and pants back on their hangars. He folded the black shirt neatly. When he left the room, Brandy had already put the light slate pants and jacket into a garment bag. The other two shirts and ties had found their way into a large bag. Brandy slid the black shirt in to join them and slipped a second garment bag over the other suit. Duke followed her over to the register and signed the receipt while the rest of his family waited.
"You get a commission, right?" He looked up at her as he stuffed his copy back in his wallet with the credit card.
"Yes, I do. Thanks a lot."
"Yeah, well, stick to school. No matter how long it takes. Obviously, you know something about putting people in the right clothes."
"Really? Thanks! Hey..." She put her hand on his arm as he turned to go. Duke stopped and looked back at her. "...it was really great, meeting you, I mean. No one will believe me."
"Why?"
"I don't know...because you're on the news. Because you're out there, fighting against these really awful terrorists. No one thinks of you as buying pants at Macy's."
"Man's gotta have pants."
"Sure." Brandy nodded. "But, I guess, it never occurred to me, seeing you guys on the news. It's really awesome seeing that sometimes, the people you see on TV are just really nice people, who go shopping with their moms and brothers and sisters."
Duke looked back at his family. Mamma had unzipped Drew's dress bag and was showing it to Vince and Jenn. Drew was pantomiming a painful death on the floor.
"Not as often as I'd like." He offered her a grin. "Well, thanks. I doubt I would have been able to put this all together, myself."
"Have a great time on leave. Be safe when you go back." She waved.
"Do my best." He winked, slung his bags over one shoulder, and went to scoop Drew off the floor. "So, what did you get, Rabbit?"
"Stinkor! He's evil! He has the power of terrible smell."
Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Sounds like Vince after baked beans."
"Shut up, Jenn."
"I kind of meant your dress, Rabbit." Duke swung her up by one arm and set her on her feet.
"Oh, that thing. It's hideous."
"Drew, you look lovely in this." Mamma held up the dress. It was simple and deep blue. "We got the least frilly dress I could find." She zipped it back up in the bag.
"Bleh."
"I'm sure you'll look cute, Rabbit." Duke took hold of her hand and went towards the escalators, Mamma, Vincent and Jennifer following. "Lets go home."
Duke decided to shave again before dinner. He stood in front of the mirror in his new slacks and an undershirt, filled the sink with a little water and pulled out his can of shaving cream and razor. Drew wandered in, her hair still damp from the bath.
"Shouldn't you be getting into your new dress, Rabbit?"
"Noooo. I have to, um, air dry first." She watched as he lathered up.
He spurted out an extra dollop and dabbed her nose. "C'mon. It's not that bad. You'll look pretty." Duke picked up his razor and made a few swipes under his chin.
"Can I shave?" She grabbed the shaving cream. She squirted out a dollop and smeared it on her chin
"Rabbit, girls shave other things."
Drew sprayed out a mountain of shaving cream and coated her lower face.
"Well, now you look like Santa." Duke, rinsed his razor in the sink, carefully went over his upper lip and worked around his mouth.
"Why do you screw your mouth up like that, Duke?"
"To make it easier and keep from cutting myself." He pulled a disposable from the drawer, leaving the plastic cover on and handed it to her. "There you go, Rabbit. Leave that cover on and have at it." He went back to his own chin, and watched her in the mirror as she copied his every move. "Why don't you want to wear your pretty new dress?"
"It's stupid. I don't want to be pretty." Drew slid the covered razor up from her throat to her lower chin, scraping away foam.
"You'll look cute." Duke rinsed his razor again and worked on trimming his side burns.
"I don't want to look cute. No one's putting that thing on me." She dipped her disposable in the sink and then slid it up her temples.
"Then you can't come with us. It's a dress-up place. Even I'm dressing up." He checked to be sure he hadn't missed anything, then ran the tap and splashed his face. Drew copied him, but managed to get a good deal of water on the counter. Duke dried his face with his hand towel, then wiped the counter down. He splashed on some aftershave, managing to avoid wincing at the sting. "C'mere, Rabbit." He lifted Drew up and sat her next to the sink. Then he grabbed a clean towel and rubbed her face clean. She grabbed his aftershave, and before he could stop her, splashed a little on her face.
"I can't go if I don't put on the dress?" She reached up with both hands and rubbed his cheeks. "Smooth."
He grinned at her caresses, then grabbed a hand and kissed it. "No. And I'm not caving this time. It wouldn't matter if I did, it's up to Mamma, and she wants you to look pretty. She wants us all to dress nice."
"But it's a dress."
"And? Don't you like looking pretty?"
"I don't want to wear some kid dress. I want to wear a real woman dress...like May Day from A View To A Kill. Like that. She was tough, even with James Bond. You look like James Bond in your new suit."
Duke couldn't picture Drew as a Bond girl if he tried. "You think I look like Roger Moore?"
"No..."
"Sean Connery?"
"No...Better than them. Like, I don't know, like if someone wanted a Bond who looked like you, you would be Bond. Like a more kickass Bond."
"Oh. Thanks." Duke ran his comb through his hair a few times and slipped into his new black dress shirt, buttoning it up all the way. Drew handed him the new tie. He looked between it and her as he slipped it under his collar, fixed the length, and tied a Windsor knot. "What if you were a spy? You would go on undercover missions, like Lady Jaye, or even Nancy Wake."
"Who's she?"
"She was a famous spy in World War II. She was a real thorn on the Nazis side. No one suspected her because she wore pretty dresses. She could kill a man with her bare hands."
"Really?" Drew's eyes went wide.
"Oh yeah. They called her the White Mouse. She was one of the best spies of her time." Duke lifted her down from the counter and lead her by the hand back into the room, where he grabbed his new jacket from the closet. "But you wouldn't want to be the White Mouse." He shook his head sadly. "She wore dresses when she was in disguise." Duke lay his jacket on the bed and went to get Papa's watch out of his top drawer. As always, he felt a little twinge when he opened the drawer and saw it. He wanted to wear it.
It would make Mama happy to see it...
Duke stared at it for a while before he could bear to strap it on. Light as it was, he wasn't sure he could bear the weight of it all night. But it would make Mamma happy.
Drew tugged at his shirt by the elbow. "I could wear the dress as a sort of disguise. No one would suspect me, because, you know, I never wear dresses."
"True, I guess." By George, I think I've got her. "But you'd have to be really convincing to pull it off. You'd have to act like wearing it was no big deal. Like you wear pretty dresses every day." He sighed. "It's basically impossible, Rabbit. You hate dresses."
"I can do it. I can do it. You'll see! I'm gonna be prettier than May Day and the White Mouse put together." She ran out of the room and pounded up the stairs. "Mamma! Help me get into my dress! Hurry up!"
Well that was easier than I thought it would be. I wonder if I could do that with Steeler? Duke had noticed an overall reluctance in the Joe recently. Steeler was one of the original Joes, and as such was considered highly by the newer members of the unit. In the last two months, he had become generally surly and pessimistic, a definite danger to morale.
What am I going to do with Steeler?
Duke shook his head and followed in Drew's wake. He walked through the empty kitchen and into the den to find his stepfather and brother sitting on the couch looking impatient. Jack looked over and grinned.
"Ladykiller. Your mother said it was a good suit. Thank God you didn't get one of those clown outfits those nitwits insist on wearing." His eyes fell to the watch around Duke's wrist, then flicked over to the portrait on the wall. "You look good, Champ. You sure you want to blow a wad of cash on us all tonight?"
"I offered, didn't I? How often are we all together? Mamma hardly ever wants anything. She wanted this."
"Oh God! Why do they always take so long?" Vincent let his head drop back to the back of the couch.
"Rabbit just acquiesced to getting dressed up." Duke sat next to him. "Women like to take their time and look perfect. Heck, kid, it's always worth it in the long run." He thought of what Scarlett would look like dressed to the nines, with her hair down. With that hair all loose around her shoulders and down her back. Something nice and slinky. Maybe low cut. Some nice perfume...
"Yeah, we'll, for a date, it's different. The final product doesn't matter when it's your own mother and your TWO REALLY SLOW SISTERS MAKING YOU SIT AROUND IN A TIE WAITING AND WAITING!" He bellowed the last bit up the stairs.
"Shut up, Vince, I'll be down when I'm good and ready." Jennifer hollered back.
"JUST HOW MANY ZITS DO YOU HAVE TO COVER UP?"
"SHUT UP, DILLWEED, OR I'LL GIVE THE PICTURE OF YOU NAKED ON THE BEARSKIN RUG TO THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE."
"I remember that picture. I remember when Mamma took it." Duke rubbed his chin. "That was the first time you went to Germany, Vince. We visited Opa and Oma. You'd strip stark naked at the drop of a hat back then."
"What's changed?" Jennifer came down the stairs.
Jack grinned, "That was a fun trip, but the plane ride was a nightmare. You were singing and bouncing around the plane nonstop, Champ. Vincent screamed halfway across the Atlantic. You both calmed down after I gave you each a half a gin and tonic."
"Seriously?" Duke thought back. "I don't remember that part."
"No, well, that's not surprising. It was either give you that or let everyone else on the plane toss you both out the emergency doors." Jack looked up at his daughter. "Jennifer, you look beautiful."
Duke examined his sister. A simple yet elegant light blue silk dress cascaded to just below her knees. She wore pearl earrings and a single pearl drop pendant. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders. The dress was not cut low enough to be sultry, but close enough to it that anything resembling a teenage boy wouldn't notice the difference. "Wow. I really am going to have to make a few quick rounds of brotherly intimidation for the local boys. I'll drop you off at school sometime. Remind me to glare and clench my fists, maybe growl a few times. That way, they'll think twice once I go back."
"Shut up, Con," Jennifer blushed and fussed with her clutch, smiling down at her hands. "You're just saying that. Mamma said Drew is nearly ready. She practically jumped into her dress. Mamma's drying her hair. She keeps saying something about a white rabbit and killing men with her bare hands."
"Weirdo." Vincent ran his hands through his hair.
"You should talk. I saw you dancing to Wham! in the bathroom in your underwear half an hour ago."
Vincent turned beet red. "Listen, Zit Queen..."
"Pop!"
"Stop it, both of you, this is supposed to be a nice evening. The next one of you to sling an insult at the other does all the laundry for a week." Jack stood as Mamma and Drew came down the stairs. "There now, don't you both look lovely!"
Duke looked towards the stairs and also rose. Mamma led Drew past the landing and down to the last step.
"You're cute as a button, Rabbit." He grinned up at her. Her face turned sour.
"What? No way..."
"Oh. Right. I mean, in an utterly deadly, undercover sort of way."
"Oh. Thanks!"
Mamma looked around and smiled. "Look at you all...Everyone together, everyone dressed so nicely." She pulled a small camera out of her bag. "I want to get a picture of this before some catastrophe hits. Everyone pose on the stairs."
Vincent, Jennifer and Drew groaned in unison.
"Now stop. How often is your brother home? I'm taking the picture while I've got an opportunity. You never know when we'll see him again. Here, Jennifer, you take Drew and go up a few steps. Vince, get closer to the bottom."
"Oh, geez." Jennifer grabbed Drew's hand and climbed up halfway to the landing.
Vincent sighed and climbed up two steps, all three were now level with each other. "Heck, we never know if we'll see him again." There was a stunned silence. Duke could see from Vincent's face that he instantly regretted saying it.
"Smooth, Vince. Well done. That's bad luck." Jennifer scowled down at him and hugged Drew, who looked scared.
Drew broke free and hit Vincent on the shoulder as hard as she could. "Don't SAY that! Duke's always coming back. Always."
"I... I didn't mean to say it. I'm...I'm sorry, Con. Mamma, it just, it just popped out."
Mamma did her best to keep herself smiling. Jack went over and whispered something in her ear. Duke watched them, turned to look at his siblings and stared at each one in turn. Jennifer fumed. Drew was wide-eyed. Vincent hung his head and turned away. "It's OK, Vince. I've made my peace with it, you know. You'll have to find a way, yourselves. Let's not dwell, huh? We'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it, right? I'm here now. I'm planning on being around a long time." He walked over to Mamma. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, let's take your picture. Then we've gotta go if we want to make it on time for the reservation. They'll only hold the table for fifteen minutes if we're late, and it was hard enough to get this reservation."
Mamma lifted her camera again, her eyes bright. "Ok, right. Moving on, gang. Conrad, you go stand in front of the stairs so we can see the others around you."
Duke walked back and stood where she directed him. Vincent stood behind him on his left. Drew and Jennifer on his right. He leaned back and rested one elbow on up on the bannister next to Vince.
"Vincent, put your tongue away. Jennifer, don't you dare put bunny ears behind your brother's head. Conrad, whatever you're planning, just don't. Drew, stop crossing your eyes." Mamma lowered the camera. She sighed. "You four...please, just one nice posed picture."
"Remember, Rabbit, like Nancy Wake." Duke whispered out of the corner of his mouth.
"My God this is the most awesome dress! I look amazing! I need six more just like it. Where are the secret plans?"
"Well, OK, maybe that's a bit of overkill. Smile like a spy, Rabbit."
Drew's mouth lengthened into an evil grin. Vincent looked over at her. "Now she just looks like a maniac."
Duke reached back with his free hand and gave Drew's belly a tickle. She laughed and the flash went off. "Perfect!" Mamma beamed, "That's one good looking family. I may even send a few copies to your grandparents for Christmas." She tucked the camera back into her bag.
"Don't blow my cover!"
Duke felt Vincent tapping him on the shoulder and turned his head. "Huh?"
"What in God's name did you say to her, anyway?"
"She's wearing the dress, isn't she? Wasn't that the goal?" He grabbed the keys to Mamma's new Crown Vic off their hook. "Let's go. I'll drive."
Went to the garage and climbed into the car, arranging themselves as best they could across the bench seats. Drew sat in front between her father and big brother. Vincent, Jennifer and Mamma took up the backseat.
"Okay, troops," Jack looked around the car, "The word for this trip is 'white'."
"White Knight." Jennifer chirped.
Duke started the car and pulled out. "White oak."
"White wash."
"Whitesnake."
"Whiteout."
"White noise."
"White flight."
"Ooh, good one...whitewall."
"Whitefish."
It took a little over twenty minutes to drive along the 70 to downtown St Louis. Duke smiled to himself as they passed the Gateway Arch. As long as it had taken to build, as big as a headache it had been for the city to construct, he still felt a twinge of pride to see it. The setting sun reflected off of it, turning it golden. It framed the river perfectly.
He swung up the 64 and got off at Kings Highway. He turned down Laclede and pulled up to the valet stand.
Two valets rushed forward to open the passenger doors and stood agog as they all tumbled out. Duke let himself out and handed over the key, pocketing the ticket as he grabbed Drew's hand and led her into the restaurant, pausing to hold the door for his mother as Jack escorted her in.
The hostess smiled at them from behind her podium. "Good evening! What name is your reservation under?"
"Six, nonsmoking. Name of Hauser."
She ran her finger down the list in front of her and tapped the page when she found the entry. "Yes, here we go. Your table is waiting for you, please follow me." She led them back past the bar and lounge and into the main dining room. Leaning over, she lowered her voice. "I made a note that this is a special evening for your mother." Vincent looked around at the tables pre set with white tablecloths and linen napkins, fine flatware and crystal, up to the fancy chandeliers glimmering above and whistled.
"Ritzy, bro, really ritzy."
They were aiming for where two tables had been pushed together at the far back of the room. As a habit, Duke gave every room he entered a once over, checking for exits and vantage points as much as atmosphere. As he did, he saw the maître d' look over, start, and then rush hurriedly in their direction.
"No, no, no! Melissa! No! Remember? We had moved the Hauser party to number sixteen!"
"What?! No you didn't, Frederick, you said to put them in the back because of all the ki-"
"Shut up, shut up!" He rubbed his hands and smiled at Duke. "I am sorry, sir, a teeny tiny miscommunication." He turned and waved at two busboys, pointing and indicating they were to put two tables together in a better part of the room-in a corner offering a better view of the whole restaurant. "This is where we had planned on seating you." The busboys rushed with plates, glasses, napkins and flatware while the maître d' walked them to the table, waving his arms with a grand flourish. Melissa tripped along behind them. He smiled as he pulled out a chair for Mamma. "Please, Madame, sit!"
Duke pulled a chair out for Jennifer and then took a seat himself on the banquette with his back to the wall. He patted the place next to him. "Up here, Rabbit. I want to be able to keep my eye on you." Jack sat on her other side, while Jennifer and Vincent flanked Mamma, whose eyes were shining over a massive smile.
The maître d' clasped his hands together. "Now, Sergeant Hauser, allow me to take care of you and your beautiful mother personally this evening. I will make sure this is a very special evening for your family." He snapped his fingers and a young slim man appeared out of nowhere. "This is Mark. He is out best waiter and he will be taking your order." The maître d' snapped again and an older man with a wine funnel popped into existence. "This is Drew. He is our sommelier, and will make sure your wine is in harmony with your meal."
"Hey! My name's Drew, too. But tonight you must know me only as The White Rabbit. " Drew waved happily. The sommelier smiled back.
"But mademoiselle, you are wearing blue."
"...The Blue Rabbit."
"Very good, mademoiselle." The sommelier nodded once in approval. Jennifer tried to sink low in her chair. Mamma snapped a picture.
"Mamma! Geez, not here." Jennifer sank lower.
"Why not? That was a wonderful shot of the three of them. Here, sit up, I'll go around to there side and get a shot of you and Vincent."
"No! Please! We look like tourists."
"We'll, fine, you're no fun. But I'm taking pictures at dessert."
"Fine with me." Vincent leaned his elbows on the table and struck a pose with his chin in his hands. "I'm camera-ready tonight."
"Ma-mma!"
The maître d' stood in awe as Mark the waiter began to hand out menus. When he handed one to Drew, she pulled him down by the sleeve. "Do you have any crayons? I know I'm a bit old, but I like to draw, and I need to send messages in code in case my contact fails."
"We do not have crayons, Mademoiselle , but perhaps I can find you a pen and paper. We can also get you lemon juice for the secret messages."
Jennifer almost disappeared under the table.
Duke beckoned the sommelier, "I really think I'd like to order a few drinks."
"Certainly, sir, for the whole table?"
Duke watched as Vincent struck another pose and smiled boyishly at Melissa. Over his brother's head, he could see diners at several other tables staring in their direction and grinning.
"For me, really. Get me a manhattan, please. Strong."
"Certainly, Sergeant." He turned to Mamma, "And you, Madame?"
"I'll have a Lillet, thank you."
"Yes. Sir?" He looked at Jack.
"Gin and tonic, thanks."
"...And you, sir, and for the mademoiselles ?" The sommelier turned to Vincent.
"I'll have an iced tea, and Jennifer will have a Sprite. The Blue Rabbit over there wants a Roy Rodgers. With two cherries." Vincent pulled himself up as he ordered for his sisters.
"Very good. Here's the wine list to look over with your menus. Or, if you'd like, I can find something for you when you have decided."
The maître d' clapped a final time, "You will, of course, Sergeant Hauser, accept a bottle of your choosing as our gift to you and your fabulous mother."
"I will? I really don't think..."
"Oh, please, Sergeant, it would be our absolute joy."
"I really don't think I should take advantage of..."
Jack leaned across Drew and touched Duke's arm. "Son. Accept it. Now and again, accept it." Duke met his eyes... Son...Not 'Champ' or 'Boy' or 'Conrad'. Son...He hasn't called me that since I came home from 'Nam.
"Well. All right. Thank you very much."
Drew the sommelier left with Fred the maître d'. Mark the waiter lingered. "I'll give you a few minutes with the menu." He walked away right as a basket of bread hit the table. Drew, Vincent and Jennifer lunged.
"Slow down! This is a fancy place. You will not fill up on bread." Jack raised his eyebrows, "and you definitely won't attack the bread basket like a pack of wolves."
Vincent flipped the one page menu over. "Where's the rest of it?"
"And where are the prices?" Jennifer held up her menu.
"Where's the kids menu?" Drew munched on her bread.
"Gang, in a place like this, they do a few things very well, and there is no kids menu."
"What about the prices?"
"Don't worry about price tonight." Duke couldn't believe he'd heard himself say that. The prices certainly were on his menu. He scanned the whole thing. Oh, please do fill up on bread. Well, I knew what I was getting into...it's for Mamma. He smiled over at his mother, who was still glowing and looking at her family. Their drinks arrived, and Duke took a long sip and sighed through his nose as he felt the bourbon's warmth wash down into his belly and spread across his chest.
"That'll make a difference." Jack winked and held up his glass. He then turned to his wife. "To Jane, the most amazingly beautiful, patient, calm, patient, kind, loving, patient smartest and dare I say, patient, woman I know. Cheers, darling. Did I mention you were patient?"
They all raised their glasses.
"Cheers!"
"Yaay, Mamma!"
"Hear, hear."
"Skol!" Drew chugged her Roy Rodgers and popped a cherry into her mouth, yanking off the stem. She offered the other to Vincent, then grabbed the one out of Duke's glass and handed it to him. "The first one to tie a knot in the stem inside their mouths wins!" She slipped the stem into her mouth.
Vincent eagerly ate his cherry and followed her lead. Duke was halfway considering joining them when he caught Jennifer's horrified look. He ate his cherry, grinned at her, and offered her his stem. "Care to enter the race? With me it's no contest. I'm the cherry champ."
"I'm sure you are, big brother. We won't tell Scarlett that."
"Jennifer!" Mamma laughed. She was too happy to object. She took a sip of her Lillet. "Should we get an appetizer or two?"
Vincent stuck his tongue out to reveal his stem in a perfect square knot.
Duke's stomach growled. "Sure. I'm starving. Better to line my stomach with a little food if we're going to have wine, too." They all picked up their menus again.
"I think we could do with the Pates Maison, maybe the Coquilles St. Jaques." Jack ticked off a few options.
"What?" Drew was the only member of the family who did not speak at least a little French, having not gotten to high school and a language class.
"Sort of like meat spread and then scallops in butter, Rabbit. The pate will come with little pickles and more bread." Duke pointed to a dish at a nearby table. "We'd better get a few others for the six of us. That looks kind of small."
"What's 'cuss day granolas'?" Drew pointed at her menu.
"Eew, you don't want that, Drew." Jennifer made a face.
"You can order some more of the pates, maybe dear." Mamma smiled.
"What is it? Maybe I want it. I like granola."
"It isn't granola, squirt." Vincent grabbed another hunk of bread and smeared butter on it. "Why did they bring us radishes?"
"It's a French thing." Duke looked down at his baby sister. "cuisses de grenouilles are frog's legs, Rabbit. They fry them up or sauté them in butter."
"Frog's legs? Really? Like Kermit?"
"Well, I guess. They're considered a delicacy. Very high class."
Drew put down her menu. "I want to try some."
"No way, you'll regret it." Jennifer scrunched her nose.
Vincent shook his head. "You'll get warts on your tongue, squirt."
Drew's eyes widened. "Will I?"
Duke took another long sip. "No, Rabbit, you won't."
"Crud. I'd still like to try it."
Mark the waiter came to the table. "Are we all ready to order?"
"Yeah." Duke put down his menu. "We'll start with the Pates Maison, coquilles st. jaques, crevettes aux lardons, and she'll have the cuisses de grennouilles."
"Very good, sir." Waiter Mark pulled out his pad and noted down the appetizers. "And for mains?"
"I'll have the filet de boeuf."
"How do you want the steak cooked, sir?"
"Blue. It's better if it's still mooing when you put the plate down."
"Very good sir. And you, mademoiselle?"
Jennifer lowered her menu. "I'd like the poulet."
"Excellent, our chef is particularly proud of his roast chicken. Madame?" He turned to Mamma.
"It's been so long since I've had duck, I'd love the Canard a l'orange."
"But of course. Sir?"
Vincent sipped his iced tea. "Steak frites, please."
"Very good. Sir?"
Jack grinned, "Bring me what the sergeant is having, just as blue."
"Of course. I'll poke it to make sure it's still moving on the plate, sir. He leaned over Jack to Drew. "For our petit mademoiselle Lapin Bleu?"
"This says it comes with french fries." She tapped her menu.
"Yes, the steak frites. One of your brothers is getting it."
"That sounds good. Can I have that?" Drew gave her menu to him.
"Of course you can."
"With ketchup?"
"Naturally, mademoiselle."
"Thank you."
Waiter Mark made final notes, collected the menus, and went to put in their order.
Drew the sommelier sauntered over. "Shall we choose a wine?"
"Oh, let's." Duke pondered over the wine list. "With two steaks and a duck dish, we'd do best with a Rhone."
"I couldn't agree more, sir. I have a particularly fine Cotes du Rhone I could match with both of those. The Chapoutier seventy nine. It is, of course, compliments of the house."
Duke handed over the wine list. "I can't argue with that, although I feel like it. Thank you."
"Well done, Conrad." Mamma sipped her Lillet again.
"Very good sir. Your appetizers will be out soon. Shall I refresh anyone's drink?"
Drew held up her glass. "Can I have another Roy Rogers?"
"Rabbit."
"Please?"
"Of course, mademoiselle. Can we tie a knot in our cherry stem with our tongues?"
"Well, I don't know about you, but I can. Vincent's faster. Duke is the Cherry Champion."
The sommelier shot Duke a sly grin and went back to the wine locker.
"Let's not repeat that one too much, eh Rabbit?" Duke looked over the table to see his mother grinning at him mischievously with her chin resting in her hand. She opened her mouth to say something when two young men and a young woman brought their appetizers to the table.
Saved by the grennouilles.
Vincent and Jennifer each took a bit of each pate and smeared it across pieces of bread. Duke grabbed a bit for himself and speared a bacon wrapped shrimp while Mamma popped a piece of scallop in her mouth and sighed happily. Jack helped himself to a bit of everything. Drew pulled the frogs legs in front of her and examined the plate.
"So, Rabbit, whaddya think?"
"You can see their little butts!" She smiled at the three sets of muscular little legs arranged as artistically as possible on the plate. Duke mused that there wasn't really much you could do with legs in terms of artistic plating. "How do I eat them? Should I use a fork?"
"Nah, those legs are finger food. Squeeze on a little lemon, if you want, pick them up and have at 'em." Duke sipped his manhattan and thought about ordering another when this one was done. He watched as Drew grabbed a pair of legs and took a big bite.
"They're crunchy."
"Oh wow, that looks weird." Jennifer and Vincent watched as Drew happily cleaned the meat off of one leg.
"What's it taste like, Squirt?" Vince grabbed a shrimp.
"Sort of like chicken and trout all at once. It's not bad. I think I like them."
"Good for you, sweetling, for trying something new." Mamma reached across the table and rubbed her hand.
Jack looked across Drew and her amphibian appetizer. "Have you been in France recently, Champ?"
"No," Duke helped himself to another smear of pate and a few cornichons. "The closest I've gotten recently is England, up by Avalon. Launched a few of us into Siberia a while back, though."
Vincent put down his knife, took another bite of pate smeared bread and leaned forward. "Where's the craziest place you've been so far?"
Duke mulled it over. "I'd say the space station. Never saw that coming. That was when they set up that Pyramid of Darkness thing. Spent a good chunk of that time in cuffs. That was irritating." He watched as Drew picked up a second set of legs and had them karate-kick the salt shaker before she took a bite. "Egypt comes a close second. I can't even begin to explain what happened there. But when we were done, I had enough down time to wander about the Cairo Museum and see the pyramids and Valley of the Kings. That's where I got that perfume bottle for Mamma and the scrolls and scarabs. Drew's little sand-filled camel came from a souk in Cairo." Duke tried to nab little trinkets wherever he went to send home. He rarely had room to take much with him, but he always tried to get them something.
"Anywhere new to add to my map?" Jennifer kept a world map on her wall, and every time Duke told her he'd gone somewhere new, she stuck a pin in it. There was getting to be a lot of pins. "I got Egypt and Siberia. Space is kind of hard to do."
"Did you put in Romania? We were in Transylvania a while back." Duke smiled at the memory of sneaking an arm around Scarlett at the end of that caper. She looked like she needed comfort. As they walked away from the makeshift grave containing the locket, ring and coin, she had snuggled her head into his shoulder, shivering from the chill mountain air or the freshly reopened memories of burying her mother. Duke swirled his drink and smiled to himself as he remembered the smell of her hair. Next to him, Drew eyed her remaining pair of legs. She picked them up and are them karate kick the salt shaker again. Duke finished the last of his drink watching her, still somewhat lost in the warmth of the memory.
"Ooh, no, that's good Con. I'll put that in when we get home. Drew! Stop it."
"These are cool." Splitting the legs in two, she made them high kick across the tablecloth, singing as she went. "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal..."
"Young lady..." Jack put down his glass and attempted to snatch the legs from his youngest. She managed to evade him, and danced her appetizer back the other way.
"Send me a kiss by wire...baby my heart's on fire!" The legs kicked a cornichon off of the pate plate and into Jack's water glass. Vincent reached across and nabbed them from Drew's fingers right as the maître d' came back to check on them, popping both in his mouth and making a face. Drew turned on her brother accusingly. Duke held his napkin to his face and quietly laughed himself silly.
"How is everything so far? Sergeant Hauser? Is something wrong?"
"...No. Everything's fine... Just fine." His shoulders shook.
"Conrad, are you OK?" Mamma touched the arm holding the napkin up.
"Yes...I'm fine...I'm perfectly..." He gasped for air. "...fine. Oh God, they were dancing...I think some bourbon went up my nose."
"Dear, I think they need to clear space for the main courses. Are you sure you're OK?"
"I'm sure...that's fine..." He took a final few gasps and dabbed his eyes, turned to look at his sister seated next to him, and had to dive into his napkin again. "They were dancing...they kicked a pickle...Rabbit...". The maître d' signaled a few busboys to clear the table and ran a crumb catcher over the cloth. Duke managed to compose himself. He stared hard into his empty glass to avoid looking to his left.
"Drew, we do not do song and dance numbers with our food at the table in fancy restaurants." Mamma pounded Vincent on the back as he tried to inhale and swallow frog at the same time.
Drew sat in thought while Jack fished the cornichon out of his water glass. "Where do we do them?"
That did it. Duke stood and walked out through the dining room, past the bar and out front into the cool night air. He leaned against a wall and had himself a good laugh. Every time he stopped, the image of a little frog leg kicking the tiny pickle into the water glass popped back into his head, and he broke down again.
He managed to pull himself together and get back to the table as the main courses were being delivered. As he sat, Drew the sommelier came with bottle and corkscrew in hand.
"Ah, back just in time for your filet." His mother leaned forward and covered his hand with hers.
The sommelier opened the wine and gave Duke the cork to inspect. He took it, checked for missing bits and saw none. He was given a glass with about an ounce of red wine. He took a quick sip to check and see if it was corked and then nodded.
"That's fine, thanks."
Drew the sommelier nodded crisply, filled Duke's glass and then poured for Jack and Mamma. He wiped the bottle and left it on the table. He smiled at Drew, who waved at him happily, and then left to attend to another table.
"Why do people smell the cork and taste the wine, anyhow?" Vincent mused as he munched on a french fry. "Would they take the bottle back if you decided you didn't like it."
"That's not why you sample the wine or check the cork, Sport." Jack took a sip and cut into his filet. "Mmm, that's nice."
Duke found his beef to be bloody to his liking and turned to his brother. "You look at the cork and take a taste to see if the wine's been corked, that's all. Sometimes the cork breaks down for whatever reason. Maybe it isn't sealing the bottle right. It rots, almost. Makes the wine taste bad. If that happens, they take the bottle back. Then they send it back to their wine distributor and get their money back, too." He sipped and smiled. It did pair well with his beef.
"Oh, makes sense."
Jennifer tried a bite of roast chicken. "Oh wow, this is good. Really juicy."
Drew poured several ounces of ketchup over her fries. There was a small bowl of aioli on her plate. She sniffed it, made a gagging noise, and leaned over to Duke. "They gave me mayo with my fries."
"They eat fries with flavored mayo in Belgium and parts of France, Rabbit. That probably has garlic mixed in."
"Freaky. Hey Vince, what's the mayo like?"
Vincent tentatively dipped a fry in his aioli. "Not bad. It tastes like garlic." He cut into his skirt steak and popped a piece into his mouth. "Oh, yeah, that's good."
"How's the duck, Jane?" Jack took a bite and leaned back with his wine glass.
"Excellent. I don't think I've had duck in ten years. Maybe more. It's wonderful." Duke didn't think his mother had stopped smiling all night. It was infectious. He grinned at her.
"You know, it's duck season come November. Jack can always hunt you up a few ducks." He brought another forkful of rare beef to his mouth.
"Not on Drew's watch. He's lucky she lets him hunt deer." Jennifer pushed aside her remaining chicken and took a few bites of the steamed asparagus.
"What've you got against duck hunting, Rabbit?" Duke turned to where his sister sat, jamming fries and steak onto her fork in one large wad.
"My friend Corey has two ducks. Ducky and Bucky." She managed to get the forkful into her mouth.
"Smaller bites, kiddo." Jack touched her shoulder.
"Sorry. Anyhow, Ducky and Bucky. He has a plastic pool for them and everything. They're really fun. No duck murder allowed."
Duke got the picture. He poured himself a little more wine and took another bite of beef. He looked back to his mother.
She looks so happy. This was worth every penny.
"Is this what you had hoped for, Mamma?" She was finishing with her duck. Thanks to the appetizers, most of them would be taking food home. He reached out to cover her hand with his. She smiled at him lovingly, and out her fork down to slide her other hand on top of both.
"Mein Kleiner, this is more than perfect." She looked down and noticed the watch on his wrist. Duke looked into Mamma's eyes as they filled with tears. "Oh, Conrad, you wore it...You finally wore it." Her fingers slid over his hand to touch the gold and caressed the crystal dial cover of Sebastian Hauser's watch. Lover. Husband. Father. Gone.
"For you, tonight, Mamma. I wore Pappa's watch. Ich liebe dich." He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "For you."
The table was quiet. Duke looked around. Drew was looking up at him. Jennifer and Vincent stared at their plates and each other in turn. Jack looked over at his wife. I don't talk about Pappa with anyone. He turned back to his mother, and her smile had not faltered under those brimming eyes.
"This is just the evening I've been dreaming of, Conrad. Thank you."
"I'm stuffed!" Drew shoved her plate away, a mountain of fries and half her steak was left
"Me, I have just enough room for dessert." Vince laid his knife and fork on the edge of his plate and sat back with his hands over his stomach.
"Me too." Jennifer dabbed her lips with her napkin.
Jack tossed his over his leftovers. "I throw in the towel. Jane?"
"I'll be able to extend this lovely duck to lunch tomorrow. But a bite of dessert would be nice. Conrad?"
They all turned to Duke as he used the last bite of filet to wipe up the remaining juices on his now empty plate. He popped it in his mouth and chewed slowly. Then swallowed. He carefully wiped his mouth and grinned. "Dessert sounds good."
"Con, I swear, you've got a black hole in there." Vince smiled in admiration.
"The disgusting thing is, he'll burn it all off tomorrow." Jennifer sighed.
Suddenly, the maître d' appeared at their table. He smiled beseechingly as busboys came to take their plates. "I hope your dinner was to your expectations. We will, of course, prepare boxes to take home. Now, because, Madame, this is such a special occasion in honor of a very special woman, I have taken the liberty to ask the chef to make you a special dessert." He clapped his hands, and the biggest chocolate soufflé Duke had ever seen was set in the middle of the table. Drew's eyes almost popped out of her head. Jack whistled.
"Check that out." Jennifer smiled. "It's all puffed up and happy."
"I'll say." Vince snickered.
The maître d' used two spoons to break open the soufflé for serving on individual plates.
"Oh, look," Jennifer sounded let down. "Now it's all deflated and spent."
"You'll find that happens to even the best of them in the end, dear." Mamma laughed.
"Mamma." Duke sighed and shook his head as Vincent blushed. The maître d' broke the soufflé onto six plates and poured chocolate custard over each one from a silver sauce boat.
"Am I wrong?" She smiled at him as she tasted a forkful of dessert.
"I can't take you anywhere, can I?"
"Smile, dear." She pulled out her camera and snapped a picture as Drew leaned across him into the frame.