A/N: It seems like every time I went to write this it felt wrong, so even if it's out of character for Chris and Gordie, I'm sorry. If it's confusing, I'm sorry. If it took too long, I'm sorry. Hopefully it won't take me AGES to update again. I'd like to hear feedback.

I had my face pressed against his so hard my lip had started to bleed, my nose was shoved against his, and it was aching. I opened my eyes to see him staring down at me. I pulled away, my face was sore and he was just leaning over me. All the hate had drained out of me I was limp and tired. His eyes turned to the blood on my cracked mouth he gently rubbed it away, as I gave him a hard glare. I wish I didn't know him so well. I wish we hadn't grown up together, I wish we hadn't been each others' best friends because maybe none of that would've happened. His thumb moved from my mouth to my cheek, and he looked me and I looked at him. Chris leaned down and rested his lips against mine, and a fire sparked inside the pit of my stomach and I kissed back, our lips were moving together, and my arms were around his shoulders and his were around mine in a tight hug.

-----

Read comics, played cards, listened to the radio. Aside from his swollen bottom lip we looked normal, the same Gordie and Chris, we'd always been. Except we were changed in a way, I'd catch myself looking at him in a way I'd never looked at Chris Chamber's before. It honestly scared me.

Every now and then we'd have a night like the one after our walk in the woods. It's been two weeks since then, and June was coming to a close. Two weeks seemed like eternity to me then. We'd always fall asleep, we never went farther then heated kisses. Sometimes it was violent, filled with our fight to be men about it, confused about how our bodies reacted to each other, and other times we'd toss the macho shit out and just act natural about it, like we were kissing some girl. We never talked about it, well until we were to go out to the drive in with some girls.

It was all my mom's idea. She noticed how Chris and I were together everyday with nothing to do, and most of the time he ended up spending the night. So she figured she'd get us out of the house one night with one of her friend's two nieces, who were visiting from a town over. Dad had even let Chris and I borrow the family car.

-----

So there we were. Chris and I waiting on the doorstep of some stranger's house, set up on a blind date by my mom. Our hair combed, shirts fresh, pants ironed, and showered. We were looking pretty 'spiffy'.

The girls came outside onto the porch where Chris and I had been forced to wait the past ten minutes. If we didn't get going soon the movie would start without us. They were blond, almost the same height, had too much make-up on, no doubt if it were their father's house we were standing in front of they would've have a pound of less make up painted on their faces. It wasn't Chris or mine's decision on who was with who it was the girls, the looked at each other, and then us exchanging those glances that girls do, that I will never understand.

The both reached for Chris' arm. I was a little hurt by the action, but the smaller one backed off and smiled at me. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah, we'll be late for the movie if we don't go soon."

We all piled into the car and drove off.

When we arrived we all squeezed into the front seat. The two girls whose names were Judy and Jenny, in-between Chris and I, a zombie movie was flicking on the massive screen in front of us. I wasn't really paying attention to it I had my elbow resting in the open window. My eyes moved from the screen over Jenny, and Judy's engrossed expressions for the movie to Chris' face.

He was zoning out, the movie wasn't even on his mind. Something terrifying happened on the screen and Judy grabbed Chris' arm, and Jenny grabbed her sisters, leaving me out. I didn't mind much. I kept looking at Chris, who was looking down at Judy. She smiled at him and he smiled at her. Then she rested her head on his shoulder, and Jenny was too afraid too notice, but I wasn't.

A pang of jealousy hit my stomach and vibrated off and up into my chest. I straightened up in the car seat trying to see their hands. I finally got up high enough to see that her hand was inching close to his, and soon she would lay it on top of his, and he wouldn't move his being the guy he was.

The air was getting thick I was starting to sweat. I swallowed for what felt like the millionth time that minute. I flung open the car door, and declared loud enough for people three cars over to hear, " I'm getting more popcorn!" as I slammed the door and stomped off into the darkness.

Chris found me slumped behind the concessions building five minutes later. "What was that about?" He asked looking down at me.

"I'm getting popcorn."

"Yeah, it looks like it." He sunk down next to me. I turned my head from him looking past the chain fence and the field beyond that.

"I am." He nudged my shoulder. I looked around doubting anyone could hear us over the roar of the movie, and no one was behind the concessions they were attached to their friends and sweethearts. "Fine." I looked him in the eye.

He made a noise of worry "You're jealous, Gordie-"

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Am not!"

"ARE TO!" I shoved him and stood up.

"Chamber's I'm not jealous of some girl. I'm not a faggot. I'm not a jealous faggot. We're on a double date with two pretty girls and I'm getting us some fucking popcorn!" I turned and headed to get some popcorn.

When I was handing the guy across the counter the money for the corn, I saw Chris out of the corner of my eye. He was stalking back to the car kicking a can hard. It skittered to a halt and when he got close enough he kicked it harder sending it airborne and it smacked into someone's car. They leaned out the window and shouted something and Chris just ignored them and climbed back into my father's car.

I slowly walked holding the hot oily bag in both my hands. I saw the shadows in the car; Chris was whispering something to Judy.

I quickened my pace, and got into the car, forcing the bag into Jenny's hands. Chris and Judy were getting cozy and I didn't like the sounds of her giggles as I tried to watch the movie. I glanced over at a loud giggle and I saw Judy blushing and looking at Chris and Chris was looking at me with spite in his eyes. I looked away. Pain welled in my chest, that bastard. The credits started rolling, and Chris and Judy hopped in the back for the ride home. My eyes flickered to the rearview mirror every ten seconds.

She was hanging all over him, and he was smirking at me. I hated him. I never thought I could say such a thing about Chris, but I did. In my mind, I hated him he was a terrible person. I didn't know the man sitting in the back seat wearing Chris' face.

When we dropped the girls up they thanked us for the movie, and Jenny headed inside, and Judy kissed Chris on the cheek as I stared daggers. Once they were inside, no doubt gushing about the kiss, and once Chris and I were in the car on the road to my house, "What the fuck is your problem!" I exclaimed looking at him.

Anger twisted my face, he looked at me, "You're not jealous, Gordie, you said it your self. You ain't a faggot."

"Shut the fuck up."

"So I don't know why you're so upset, not being a fag and all. I mean did you see her, she would've let me grope her if I wanted to." Who was this person? I didn't say anything; I felt tears prick my eyes. I wasn't a fag. There was nothing to cry about. I clenched my jaw and focused on the road.

"Cat got your tongue?"

I pulled off to the side of the road. We were away from the town somewhere in the country I'd missed the turn off for my house I was so disgruntle. "Listen you piece of shit! You started this fucking mess! You had to be my best friend, you had to take all my classes, and be so Chris like! You HAD to kiss me, and send my views upside down and make me hate myself for being so wrong and disgusting in everyone else's eyes if I told them, and then you go off and talk about how you could've touched some sluts tit, you fucked up bastard, I hate you Christopher Chambers, I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

I shouted, I felt a tear escape the corner of my eye, and I jammed the heel of my hand into my face to wipe it away before he saw, "I don't understand anything anymore, you fucked it all up." I whispered. He looked hurt and defeated, like the person I knew before the movie, before anything had happened. I forced myself to look away and I started to cry. Not little tears and a whimper. Heaving sobs, which sound like I was having my soul wrenched away from my body. I felt like screaming at the moon, and god.

"Gordie?" His voice was distant.

"Leave me alone. I'm a jealous faggot." He scooted over to me and put his arms around me. I cried on his shoulder making his shirt wet at the shoulder. He shushed me and told me it was going to be okay as he rubbed my back. He explained about the movies about Judy, about how we never talked about the problem between us. The place where we were between friendship and that other thing, that thing that no one would accept and he got me to stop crying and kissed my forehead, and drove me home. "I love you Gordie."

That wouldn't be the last time I cried over that Chamber's kid.