Chapter 12.
Sandor took his time going back to The Keep, he finally had a day he had no pulls on his time and he was determined to enjoy it. As he walks across the yard he sees his squire, Lucian, running towards him, panic clearly evident on his face. As Lucian gets to him, all of Sandor's instincts are focused and part of him knows that this isn't good, someone is hurt. Lucian gasps," Hound, you have to come now! The Lady Shalene says to tell you to come and not do anything stupid!" Sandor immediately stalks off to the wing where Sansa and Shalene's chambers are, his stride so long and quick that Lucian is having to run to keep up with him. Sandor is black and deadly in his demeanor and everyone quickly moves out of his way, fearful of the wrath they see in his eyes. When he arrives he sees Bronn standing in the hallway, his head resting against the wall, he turns towards Sandor and when their eyes meet, Bronn straightens up and gives a slight shake of his head and moves away a few feet from Sansa's door. Sandor stops, his heart pounding in his chest, he can hardly breathe. He thinks," Not the Little Bird. Not innocent Sansa! I wasn't here." His hand finds the door and he doesn't remember opening it but then he is in the room. He sees Tyrion on the balcony, his back to the door, his head down. He hears murmurs from behind the privacy screen and then soft whispers. He can't help himself, he steps around the screen and sees Shae washing Sansa's beautiful auburn hair so gently, she has tears running down her face, their eyes meet and she looks down. He can't breathe. He is as close to panic as he has ever been in his life; Shalene is sitting on the side of the tub blocking Sansa from his view. She stands up, continuing to block his view and turns to him. He sees that she has cried but he also sees in her eyes a cold, deadly need that he has so often felt in himself. This brings back a measure of his soul from the brink of panic it was in. She says," She is hurt. She will be better, in time, but you have to listen to me." Sandor looks at her and in a raging, barely controlled, raspy voice asks," What happened? Who did it? Why was she alone? FUCK! Someone answer me!"
Tyrion comes into the room from the balcony and asks Sandor to sit down. " Fuck you, Imp! What happened!" Sandor bellows. Tyrion remains calm though doesn't approach him and says, " I could order you to sit, maybe you need to be commanded like a dog before you listen and follow direction. Must I remind you that you are in service to my family, therefore, by extension, to me? So, again, please sit down, we have to talk and you know we all have the same interest at heart." Sandor takes a step towards Tyrion, eyes raging and his already overwhelmingly massive body seeming even larger due to how taut and flexed the muscles of his body are. Shalene quickly places herself between the two and Sandor knows she's saying something but in his focused rage, he doesn't hear her. It's after he feels the second slap across his face that his attention is brought to her and he hears her say," Clegane, stop this! Tyrion didn't do this! Sit down and hear him or are you so selfish in your own hate that you can't allow anyone else theirs? Listen to us, you're scaring Lady Sansa even more, you over sized ass!" Sandor seems to come to some sort of control and allows Shalene to take his hand and lead him to a chair and he takes the flagon she offers and drinks half of it. After some minutes Tyrion takes the other chair and Shalene decides that the best way to keep Sandor's attention is to stay close to him, so she sits on Sandor's thickly muscled thigh and pulls his hand around her waist. Her boldness and openly intimate action shocks him into wariness, he glances around but Tyrion is quietly gazing at him as though it's perfectly natural and Shae is still with Sansa so he allows himself to relax a bit and rubs Shalene's hip and side. Tyrion takes that as it being a safe time to explain the days events. " Joffery managed to find everyone otherwise away from Lady Sansa today and sent Meryn to make Sansa pay, as he put it. I was in Small Council, Shalene was in the yard with Bronn, you were indisposed, and Shae had gone to get Sansa a tray from the kitchens. Meryn must have watched and came here and dragged Sansa to Joff's chambers. You know what he does, I won't put words to his evil deeds. When Shae returned she of course found Sansa gone and sent for Bronn and Shalene. In the meantime, Meryn had brought Sansa back here and left her to Shae. Shalene summoned me, and I sent Lucian to find you." Shalene can feel Sandor's body tense again under her and she strokes his arm, and moves further up his thigh, closer to his body. Tyrion continues," She is severely bruised, she has cuts. Clegane, she will be alright. You must not do anything that will destroy what we are trying to do." Sandor can't take it, he stands up and pushes Shalene away from him and rages around the rooms. Pounding his fists into the wall, bellowing his rage! He should have been there, he is worthless, he failed, he promised her he would protect her! They let him rage and pound and destroy until he's just standing there, shoulders heaving, blood dripping from his hands, his back to them.
He hears a soft voice invade the blackness of his thoughts," Sandor, it's not your fault. No one can be around all the time. You didn't let me down. You have done all you said you would." He turns and sees Sansa standing there in her dressing robe. Her eyes red and swollen, the blue of them even more evident against the redness. Her hair is still wet, Shae is standing beside her, arm around her waist, supporting her. He moves to go to her but she instinctively shrinks from him, his size and rage overwhelming her. It breaks his heart that she is scared of him, a strangled moan escapes his throat as he eases down to his knees in front of her, his head bowed and shoulders slumped. He feels her walk up to him but he is too beaten and ashamed to look at her. He feels her small, dainty hand touch his head and her finger run through his hair and he hears her whisper," It's not your fault, Sandor." He hates himself, how can she touch him so gently after what she has gone through and not blame him? He promised her! He feels her move past him but he can't look at her. He hears her ease on the bed and feels Shalene pulling on his arm, beckoning him to stand, so he does. He sees Tyrion still seated, their eyes meet then Tyrion looks out into the nothingness of the balcony. He turns to leave but Shalene wraps her arm in his and won't allow it. He glances at Sansa lying on the bed on her stomach her back exposed and he sees what has been done to her and looks away ashamed again. He hears Sansa tell Shalene it's alright if he looks, she trusts him. Shalene leads him over to Sansa and he kneels beside the bed and gently strokes her hair as Shae cleans and tends to the cuts and bruises that cover her back, shoulders, legs, and ribs. When Shae is done, Sandor wraps the sheet around Sansa and so impossibly gently and tenderly, for a man his size, picks her up and as he sits on the bed, back rested against the headboard, he wraps his arms around Sansa and holds her on his lap, against his chest. His deadly arms wrapped around her, sheltering her from the world. He feels her tears on his chest and glances up at everyone, daring anyone to take her from him but no one has moved, Shae is sitting on the floor at Tyrion's feet, her head resting on his leg, his hand entangled in her hair. Shalene has curled up on the foot of Sansa's bed, their eyes meet in silent agreement. Sandor bows his head and places a gentle kiss on the top of Sansa's head and he feels he can let go, tears roll down his face and he can't remember the last time he felt tears on his face. When his beloved sister died? Must have been. Strangely, he doesn't feel weak or demeaned. He just feels sadness.
He must have dozed because he awakens to a gentle squeeze on his ankle. Shalene. He opens his eyes, Sansa is still asleep so he very gently lays her on her side and draws the bedding over her, he smooths some loose hair away from her face thinking how pure and innocent she is. He turns and sees that both Tyrion and Shae are gone. Shalene draws him to the door and he reluctantly follows then as they leave he sees that Bronn is sitting just outside the door, sliding a whetstone down the edge of his dagger. Their eyes meet and Bronn nods at Sandor and he returns likewise, a bond is set in that moment and Sandor is thankful. He follows Shalene to her rooms and she gathers what she needs to tend to his hands, of which he had forgotten. He rarely notices wounds, he has had so many of them over the years. He sits and patiently allows her to do what women seem to like to do. In his calmed state, he allows himself to enjoy her touch and secretly wishes his life had been different. That he wasn't as low-born as he is, that he wasn't scarred and hideous. That he deserved the love of a woman. He shakes his head and reminds himself that there is no reason to wish for things that will never be. When Shalene has finished, she offers him a flagon which he accepts but just sips on, he can tell by her demeanor that drunkenness will only be a problem. She moves between his thighs and sits on his lap again, she places her palms on either side of his face and makes him look at her. " Clegane, I want you to keep your mouth quiet and hear me. I need your help but not your interference. I am going to kill Meryn." She says it so calmly and matter of fact he's not sure he heard her right, then he says," You have to beat me to him." His voice deadly and calm. Shalene shifts herself to where she has straddled his lap and is facing him, their eyes locked on each other and she says," YOU will not do it. You would be caught and executed. You will tear down all we've worked to do. You will listen to me and follow what I say. Do you hear me? Do you trust me?" He feels the ever-present rage starting to boil again but sees in her eyes a deadly menace, equal only to his and he knows he trusts her like he has no other. He replies," Yes and yes you bloody Sand Snake." Shalene takes that exactly how he means it, acceptance and compliment. She then tells him of her plan. He is surprised and appreciative, agreeing to do his part. She has remained on his lap and once all words are spoken, she leans into his chest and wraps her arms as far around him as she can, resting her head on his shoulder. He tentatively wraps his huge arms around her small form and when she doesn't object, he holds her tighter. He eases a hand up to touch her hair, she allows it so he gives in and pulls her hair to the side, he closes his eyes for a moment, savoring the silkiness of her hair. He leans down and lightly kisses where her neck has been exposed. She moves her head to offer more of the area up. He needs no encouragement and leans in to kiss her neck again, he feels her turn her face to his chest and inhale deeply, his eyes come open, remembering the dancer doing the same thing. As he looks down at this beauty sitting on his lap, her legs wrapped around his hips like she's mounted on a steed, inhaling his scent like a stalking predator, he see it. On the back of her shoulder, between her neck and arm. Exactly where he marked the dancer from last night! He runs his calloused thumb over it, body tensing, and pulls Shalene away from him and looks at her, unbelieving. She leans forward and kisses him deeply, he returns her passion. When they part, she smiles wickedly at him and says," Don't you remember what I told you? Ser, I happen to enjoy being mounted on a bareback beast. I like the feel of his body as he moves beneath me. The power of his thrust, the control he has that is always on the verge of exploding just waiting on me to beg him to release it leaving me knowing what an awesome force I have had between my legs. Well I was mounted, I rode my beast bareback, I felt his body move and the explosive power of his thrust. I felt the control he had as he moved between my legs and I did beg him to release all of his power as I rode him. I was given what I asked for. Maybe I was selfish in my actions...I only took what I wanted just as you did. " Sandor is having trouble controlling the rush of thoughts that run through his mind. " It was her, how did I not see it? Damned wine! I hurt her, I treated her like a whore! I fucked her trying to hurt her! Oh, Gods! And she paid me, like I was the whore! She's sitting here like it's normal, Hells, we have even planned a murder. What the Seven Hells!" His hands are shaking and he just wants to push her away, he wants to hold her and fuck her again, he has to do something! But he just sits there, she moves his hands from her shoulders to back around her waist and eases back into his chest, making herself comfortable. She says," You might as well relax and enjoy yourself. You remember that in Dorne, it is common practice to have a paramour. Both men and women do it. You also know that I keep my customs here and I have chosen YOU as MY paramour. Unless of course, you feel it beneath you or feel you can't handle what being my lover might entail." Sandor knows a challenge when he hears it and all doubt leaves his mind as he pulls her tightly against his chest, taking in her exotic fragrance, wondering at how this has happened to him, why him? But he answers her in his deep, raspy voice," Aye, I can handle you. I'll be the paramour to a bloody Sand Snake, just don't pay me like that again! My Desert Flower." They both laugh and seal this personal alliance with the next hours of kissing and slow, exploration of each other. As neither is given to softness or outright tenderness, neither is their passion the blatant primal coupling that they engaged in on the previous night. Just learning and exploring, it is what they both seek.