"I don't know Gordie."

"Neither do I."

We sat there in silence.

"Chris we can't get caught."

"I know that."

"We almost did, last night was close." I reminded.

"Gordie, whoever it was they didn't open the door, they when to take a piss."

"Yeah, but what if we wouldn't have heard, what if you would've kept going?"

"You were doing it too! Don't act like you're so innocent Gordie!" He was raising his voice, I was glad I knew my parents were gone.

"I'm not acting like I'm innocent!"

"But it's all my fault right, because I was the one going towards your pants, right? It's all my fault."

"Chris-"

"It's all my fault because I was getting in your pants."

The air was getting thick again; he looked at me like I was a horrible person.

"I think it'd be best if we didn't see each other for a while. I think you should go home." As the words fell out of my mouth I could feel the mood in my room change, I wished I could pull them back be hide my lips and let them sit there, never to be voiced. "I mean, ever since you kissed me that day I just."

He stood up and looked at me with such hurt, grabbing his shirt he said, "Yeah, I mean I don't want to be stinking up your room with the scent of fag."

His words hit me wrong, "Chris I didn't mean it like-"

"Like what? Gordie how many nights did you throw it into my face that I started it? How many Gordo?"

"Calm down, Chr-" I reached for his arm

He yanked his arm away from me, "Don't touch me."

"But-" I tried to explain only to be cut off again.

"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down, you're a fucking asshole you know that? This isn't just my fault, you never told me to stop, you cried when I could've groped that slut, Gordie I suggest you get your god damn act together!" And he was gone, gone out of my window, down the tree and across my yard before I could even process.

Fact was neither of us knew what we were going to do. We could've been caught, exposed and mostly beaten; our father's wouldn't be above that.

I had sat around my house all day, playing card by myself, listening to the radio, watching television, my thoughts never strayed too far from Chris Chambers. I was so angry with him, so pissed off. Always playing stuff off, he was right it was his fucking fault. Making me hurt inside, I hated him, and I loved him.

I would sit there staring into nothing but my imagination and memories, all of them so vivid. I felt sick with want, it was something I couldn't describe, it wasn't just a teenage lust, it was loneliness without my best friend.

We lasted four days. And at the end of those four very long days, sometime early morning I climbed out my window and down the tree (as slowly as I fucking wished, I might add) and dashed across my yard and down the road. Somewhere in the dark we found each other.

Chris and I, Chris and me, I and Chris, me and Chris, however you want to call it, we ended up with each other. Listless without the other, lost. Sure we had spent days apart from each other on the rare family vacation, but after the beginning of it all we at least saw each other once in a course of a day. Even if we were pissed off because one of us had won power in a kiss the night before, it was the comforting sight of one another.

Thinking back, I sounded so hopeless, like a girl or love struck puppy. I was often disgusted with myself having hate bubbling in me most of the time, because everyone would say it was so wrong, so vile. Maybe I was meant to vile and shameful.

My dad would spit at me, and I realized in that moment as I stood there in the dark trying to make out the feature of my best friend, I would never been what he wanted me to be, and I was okay with that.

A whisper, "Gordie?"

"Yeah?"

He hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe, and I hugged him back just as hard. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

We didn't cry, we didn't kiss, we didn't bring up why we were sorry, and we just stood there in the early hours of the morning hugging in the middle of the street.

A/N: Okay, so it's a bit cheesy at the end of the chapter, but I mean come on! How can Chris and Gordie fight? Maybe I was just feeling…sentimental?