Author's Note: Credits to LLSIF Wiki for the song translation.

Chapter 5

The sun was pretty late in rising that day, with only the edges of the eastern night sky faintly tinged red despite how late it was getting. Or well, at least it seemed pretty late to Rin, who had been running for close to an hour already. If it wasn't for the cool autumn breeze she would've been drenched in sweat, but as it was she could only feel the lactic acid building up in her muscles, and the bile that was gathering at the back of her throat.

This was really starting to hurt. Both outside and inside.

With a sigh, Rin stumbled into the shrine where she was due to meet the rest afterwards, and supported herself by the stone lion guardian. Maybe she could take a rest here until the others arrived, she needed to get her strength back before training...

"A bit early for training, don't you think~"

"Nyaaa!" Rin jolted up in surprise as she felt a pair of arms go around her chest. More specifically, a pair of hands wandering where they shouldn't be! She should have known taking a rest by the shrine was a bad idea!

But to her further confusion, the hands simply let her go instead of continuing with their usual torment.

"Hmm, there's no spirit in you today so I'll just let you off the hook," Nozomi gave her trademark sly grin while she stepped beside Rin. "Why don't we sit down for a bit?"

"Nozomi-chan..."

Sitting down by the side of the statue that was hidden away from the entrance, the spiritual girl looked up at Rin patiently. Too tired to question otherwise, the catlike girl simply plopped herself down by the statue as well. After a short moment of digging into her bag, Nozomi produced a bottle of water which she handed to Rin.

The orange-haired girl gulped the water down thirstily, releasing a breath of relief as she set the half-empty bottle down. "Thanks nya~"

"You can't run forever, you know?"

Pulling her knees up, Rin nodded before she buried her face in her lap. "Rin knows but... Rin doesn't understand anything at all. This isn't fun anymore, it's painful."

In response Nozomi only sat up straight, and began to sing.

"I don't know how love works, so teach me
I'm still inexperienced, so I'm dizzy and want to cry
To think I'd be watching someone this much...
Have I become a different person?
I don't know how love works, so teach me
I'm scared, but I can't stop myself
I'll try to push myself a bit more
A wind blows - I want to be swept away by you"

Emerging from her hiding place, Rin stared blankly at her senior.

"Do you remember? The emotions you had when you wrote this song, and asked me to help you with the lyrics."

"... Uhn."

Nozomi let out a gentle peal of laughter. "Your feelings haven't changed at all, Rin-chan. They're just buried by your thoughts."

"But everyone else... I don't even know if I like Kayo-chin."

"What do you feel when you look at her?"

Rin tilted her head in confusion. "Kayo-chin... nya? I don't understand."

The spiritual girl winced slightly, before nodding in comprehension. "Let me rephrase it another way. What if you and Hanayo-chan weren't friends anymore?"

"I..." the first-year's fingernails digging into her thighs seemed to be all the answer Nozomi needed.

"You want to stay with her forever, right?"

"Definitely nya!" Finally, a question she could answer with all her heart.

"Okay. Then how about holding her close?"

Rin felt her face start to turn red, which was an experience she very rarely felt. "I... like that."

"And you... want to do things to her?"

If the previous question made her blush, this one was enough to send Rin flailing wildly. "Eeeehhh!"

"You want her to do the same things to you, right?" Nozomi had her sly grin back on her face again, pressing the advantage on the confused girl, except it didn't quite get the reaction she expected. Instead of escalating further, Rin only frowned and slumped against the statue.

"Rin... doesn't know about that. That's weird, isn't it? Everyone else in Muse is together and they... they're just so different."

With another soft laugh, Nozomi flicked Rin's forehead.

"Owww... nya?" the catlike girl blinked in confusion.

"Everyone's love is different, Rin-chan. Everyone has a different way of loving someone else, so you shouldn't compare yourself to the other couples in Muse. But I can tell you I'm definitely sure you love Hanayo-chan. If you want to be with her forever more than anyone else, if you always want her by your side... that's love. It doesn't have to be expressed physically. How close a couple should be is something the two of them should decide together."

"... Oh." Rin slumped back against the statue once more.

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, with Nozomi waiting patiently for her junior to speak up again.

"But Rin doesn't even know why Kayo-chin likes her in the first place. Rin isn't cute, is dumb, tomboyish, has short hair... Kayo-chin is so pretty and smart and sings really well. We just don't fit together..."

"That's something for Hanayo-chan to decide, don't you think? But that's not what you're really afraid of, isn't it?"

Rin fell silent for a minute. As expected of the team's spiritual girl, she could see right through and understand the thoughts that even Rin herself had trouble putting to words.

"Rin doesn't want to hold Kayo-chin back."

The air hung still for a few seconds as Rin struggled to find the right words to continue.

"We've been together since we were kids, so Rin knows just how Kayo-chin is like. She always waits for Rin to lead her, to bring her places. Even becoming an idol, the one thing she wanted to do more than anything else, Rin had to be there with Maki-chan to pull her along. If Rin is always there, Kayo-chin will never be able to do the things she really can. But Rin doesn't want to stop being there for Kayo-chin either... Arghnyaaa!" Rin yelled as she clutched at her head in frustration. "Rin doesn't know what to do!"

Before she knew it, Nozomi had already stood up and was offering her a hand. "Even if that's the case, don't you think it's better for you to be always by her side, where you can support her to try for the things she wants to do?"

The orange-haired girl took the proffered hand and got onto her feet, scratching at her head in confusion as she always did.

"Besides, I think this time round she's already begun to chase the things she wants, no matter what direction you tried to pull her in," Nozomi smiled. With a turn of the head she looked at the shrine entrance, where Hanayo was standing bent over and panting.

"Kayo-chin..."

"Ne, Rin-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Because you and Hanayo-chan aren't as troublesome as the rest, I've never had to really interfere with you two. From the start you were already courageously chasing whatever seemed most fun for you, and so that brought you into Muse without me even doing anything... but it feels like I've neglected you two all this time. So, I'm sorry."

At the uncharacteristically hesitant words coming out of Nozomi's mouth, Rin was pretty much dumbfounded.

"Nozomi-chan?.."

The violet-haired girl shook her head and smiled warmly. "Never mind. Go on, Hanayo-chan's waiting for you."

Biting her lip, Rin tried to figure out the best thing to say in response, but nothing in mind quite seemed to fit. For that matter, she wasn't really quite sure why Nozomi was apologising in the first place.

So she did the next best thing and pounced on Nozomi. The hug only lasted for a short while, but Rin could feel all the tension draining out of her senior's shoulders.

"Nozomi-chan, thanks nya~"

As she turned and began running towards the shrine entrance, Rin thought she saw something glittering at the edge of the shrine maiden's eyes.